Household Gods (62 page)

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Authors: Judith Tarr

BOOK: Household Gods
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She couldn't tell if she was getting through. The wine couldn't do what the fever had done, blur the boundaries between the waking world and the world the gods inhabited. All it did was dull her reflexes and slow her mind, and drop her at last into a sodden sleep.
She drifted off in a dream of electric lights and chlorinated water, automobiles and stereos, antibiotics and, oh God, anesthetics, telephones and television, supermarkets and refrigerators, soap and insecticides and inner-spring mattresses. And—yes, yes indeed—equality under the law, whatever it might be in actual practice. If the gods were kind, if she'd worked the—magic?—rightly, she'd wake in a deliciously soft, heavenly clean bed in the century that was, after all she'd done to escape it, the one and only century for her.
She woke, yes. On a rough and scratchy, redolent and verminous mattress, in a century long before the one in which she was born, in the Roman city of Carnuntum.
 
 
I
T WAS A BITTER waking, but Nicole had no intention of giving up. She'd storm heaven if she had to. Every night, with wine and impassioned prayer, she called on the god and goddess. She smeared their lips with wine, she left a cup of wine in front of their plaque, she drank more wine than she rightly should have. She was sincere. She was devoted. She wanted, above anything in this world, to go home.
And every morning, as surely as the sun rose over the eastward wall of Carnuntum, she woke in Umma's bed, in Umma's body. The gods were ignoring her, or else, as she began to fear, actively refusing to grant her prayer.
They'd brought her here. They could damned well send her home again.
Julia approved of this sudden access of piety. “We're sure to have better luck around here now,” she said. Julia had two mottoes:
Never ask questions
and
Always look on the bright side.
Manumission hadn't done a thing to change either of them.
That much Nicole had given her: her freedom. Umma, when she came back to this body, if she came back to it—small dark difficult thought, there, quickly suppressed—couldn't legally undo what Nicole had done. It was a good thing, a decent gift to leave behind.
Nicole wasn't ever tempted to stay. The one real friend she'd had here, Titus Calidius Severus, was dead. Lucius was Umma's child, not her own, though yes, she'd miss him. Julia, too, and young Gaius, and one or two others. She was fond of them as she might have been of people she met on a long vacation, but with the sense, always, that this was their world and not hers; that whatever happened here, it was temporary. She wasn't going to live out her days here.
Liber and Libera were silent, though their plaque was smeared with wine and the cup in front of it had been filled and refilled and filled again. Nicole, in the beginning of despair, prayed to the God she'd grown up with, the God whose followers in second-century Carnuntum seemed so much like twentieth-century extremists. He gave her no more answer than the Roman deities had. He was angry at her, she was sure, for having other gods before Him. Or maybe the Christians here and now were shouting so loud, they drowned her out.
She hadn't wanted anything or wished for anything so strongly or with such concentrated determination since—when? Since she passed the bar, at the very least. Even the prayer that had brought her here was a dim and halfhearted thing beside this.
I made it one way,
she thought on waking up yet again on the hard narrow bed in the upstairs bedroom behind the tavern.
There has to be a way for me to go back.
The legally trained part of her mind pointed out that there didn't
have to be
any such thing: hadn't she ever heard of a one-way ticket? The rest of her was damned if that was the case. Really, truly, literally damned.
Slowly, reluctantly, and almost unregarded, the hole in the back of her mouth healed. When it was finally gone, she found herself free of pain for the first time since she'd come to Carnuntum.
The difference it made was amazing. “I should have had that tooth pulled a long time ago,” she said one day in the dead of winter, a long way still from spring.
“I've heard a lot of people say that,” Julia responded, looking up from the dough she was kneading. “They say it afterwards, yes, but before? You couldn't get a one of them near the nice man with the forceps in his hand.”
Remembering the burly man holding her arms and the other one grabbing her legs, remembering the forceps in her mouth and the roots of the molar tearing out of her jawbone, Nicole shuddered. “You are right,” she conceded. “You are too right.”
That afternoon—a fine one, as winter days went, with the temperature probably in the high forties and the sun peering out between spatters of rain—some very unusual customers swaggered into the tavern. The room that had always seemed, if not spacious, then large enough to swing a cat in, was suddenly not much larger than a closet.
There were only three of them, though at first there seemed to be more: big men, burly, and ripe even by the standards of this age. They were Germans, no doubt about it, Marcomanni or Quadi, she couldn't tell which. They ordered wine in Latin with a distinct accent, guttural but understandable.
“One
-as, two-as,
or Falernian for four
asses?”
she asked, warily but crisply. As had the tribesmen in the market square, they surveyed the place as if they owned it. If they drew their swords and demanded the cash box, she couldn't do much but hand it over. Really, when she stopped to think, it was a wonder she hadn't ever been robbed or mugged—crime here was low, though not nonexistent.
Nor was she about to become a statistic now. One of the Germans set a shiny silver
denarius
on the bar. “Falernian,” he said. The others nodded, tripling the order. “And you will give us bread and raisins and smoked pork to eat with it.” That was an order, and in more ways than one.
Nicole kept her temper. She nodded curtly, bringing to bear the skills she'd acquired perforce, for dealing with obnoxious customers. They'd given her money instead of simply taking what they wanted—that went a long way toward easing her temper.
She looked around for Julia, but the freedwoman had made herself scarce. If these bruisers from beyond the Danube wanted a little ripe woman with their smoked pork, they weren't going to get it. Nicole was somewhat annoyed: she'd have welcomed backup, and some help filling plates and cups and bowls. But Julia had made it clear when she was manumitted that while she'd cheerfully sell her body, she wasn't about to sell it to just anyone.
And if they took a fancy to a skinny black-haired piece with a missing tooth?
Not likely, Nicole thought grimly. Nor were they eyeing her in that particular way. They emptied their bowls and licked them clean, and ordered another round of Falernian, with another
denarius
to pay for it.
“Wine,” one of them said in reverent tones. “Wine is … good.” The others nodded as if he'd said something profound.
Nicole set a
sestertius
on the bar as change. The man pushed it back. “No. Give us more bread and meat and raisins. Tell us when we need to give you more money for it.”
Nicole nodded again, more warmth in the gesture now—the professional warmth any businessperson offered to big spenders. “Would you like some olive oil to go with your bread?”
They all made faces at her, the same sort of faces Lucius and poor Aurelia had made when she suggested they drink milk. “Olive oil is not good,” said the one who'd declared that wine was. “Have you butter?”
If only,
Nicole thought, with a fleeting memory of cold, sweet butter on fresh crusty bread from the bakery near the law offices. She overrode it with the reality she was condemned to. “No, I have no butter. People here like olive oil better.”
She resisted the temptation to tell them to rub the bread in their hair if it was butter they wanted—they were downright rancid with it; she had to hold her breath when she came close. It might offend them. Even worse, they might do it.
The three Germans sighed in unison. “We will eat the bread bare, then,” said the spokesman, whose Latin seemed to be best.
Before long, they laid down another
denarius
for still more wine and bread and meat. All three coins, unquestionably, were Roman. Nicole held up the third one. “If you don't mind my asking, how did you get so much of my country's money?”
They smiled. They looked, just then, like the beasts in the amphitheater when they had spotted prey. The one who did most of the talking said, “We have been in the Roman Empire before.” He turned and spoke to his friends in their own language. Nicole caught the word
Roman
again. He had to be translating the remark. They all laughed.
She didn't like that laughter. Like the smiles, it seemed … carnivorous. Had these Germans been part of the war farther west? Had they come into the Roman Empire as invaders, robbers, looters? Was that how they'd got their hands on Roman coins?
They were behaving themselves now. Whatever might be happening farther west, things were peaceful in Carnuntum. Nicole couldn't turn on the evening news and watch the latest videotape of Romans and Germans fighting … wherever they were fighting. Wolf Blitzer was eighteen hundred years away. Without daily reminders, the war felt unreal.
Best change the subject. “Has the pestilence been very bad on your side of the river?”
They talked among themselves for a while, low and somehow
urgent, though they were smiling and acting casual. Then the spokesman said, “No, the sickness has not among us been too bad. We have had some among us take ill and die, but not many.”
“I wonder why that is,” Nicole said. At first, it was just another polite phrase. Once it was out of her mouth, however, she really did wonder. She asked, “You don't live in cities on the other side of the river, do you?”
The two who hadn't said much—at least one of whom, she suspected, had little or no Latin—conferred with the spokesman again, and shook their heads. He did the talking, as before: “Oh, no. So many people all in one place? Who could imagine that on our side of the river?”
Nicole had all she could do not to laugh in his face. Carnuntum was a real city, no doubt of that. It might have held fifty thousand people, maybe even seventy-five, before the pestilence cut the population by at least a third. What would this solemn German have made of Los Angeles, with three and a half million people in the city, nine million in the county, fourteen or fifteen million in the metropolitan area? For that matter, what would a Roman have made of Los Angeles?
Los Angeles had been horrifying enough for somebody from Indianapolis, which was no small city itself. You could drop Carnuntum into Eagle Creek Park and still have room to run your dog.
“So many people all in one place is not good,” the German said. His friends nodded. So did Nicole, though perhaps not for the same reason. With people more thinly scattered on the northern bank of the Danube, the pestilence wouldn't have had such a large reservoir in which to flourish. But then the German said, “So many good things all in one place is very fine and wonderful.”
His friends nodded again, in a way Nicole didn't like. It wasn't so much admiring as covetous.
At long last, they seemed to have filled up on wine and bread and meat—she'd begun to wonder if each of them had a black hole where his stomach should be. They got up from
their stools, belched in an ascending chorus, and swaggered out as they'd swaggered in.
Nicole breathed a sigh of relief. She'd made a good day's living from them, but she'd been braced for them to start breaking up the place if they had much more to drink. They'd had a look she knew too well: elevated, but not actually drunk. Her father had come home from the bar that way sometimes. If he stayed away from the kitchen cabinet, he wasn't too bad; he'd go into the den and sit in front of the TV till he fell asleep. But if he went to pull a bottle out of the cabinet, that meant trouble.
The Germans hadn't been gone five minutes when Julia trotted downstairs and applied herself to making a new batch of bread. “Nice of you to join me,” Nicole said with a sardonic edge.
Julia bent over the bread-bowl, her hair falling forward, hiding her face. Her voice was subdued, as it had been when she was still a slave, and very seldom since. “I'm sorry, Mistress. I couldn't be in the same room with those—those barbarians. They're nothing but trouble. If you remember—that pack of Quadi, last year …”
She didn't go on. Nicole wondered if she was being challenged, if Julia was testing her memory.
Of course not. That was trauma, that set to Julia's shoulders, and that tension in her fingers. Nicole could easily imagine what kind. “It's all right,” she said. “I remember.” Which of course was a lie, but not if she'd been Umma.
Julia lifted her head. Her face was as tight as her shoulders, but it eased a little as she looked at Nicole. “I'm glad they didn't bother you,” she said.
“So am I,” Nicole said. “I could have grabbed a knife, I suppose, and fought them off, or tried to. They might have been too surprised to go for their swords. Or I could have yelled, and all the neighbors would have come running.”
“Like last time?” Julia shook herself hard, and went back to working flour and water and yeast together. “Maybe they'd even have got to you before—” She stopped. She bent over the dough, attacking it as if it had been a broad and
greasy German face. In a very little while, she'd pounded it to a pulp.
Nicole stood where Julia's words had left her. Rape was too familiar a thing in Los Angeles, too; but no neighbors would have come running to the rescue. People didn't get involved. The most they did, if they did anything at all, was call 911. Or grab a camcorder and go for the media gold.

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