Hooked (14 page)

Leave it to Chris to not pull any punches. Luke shoved the nozzle into the bucket inside the stall and held it there while the water level rose. When he glanced up, Chris was still waiting for his answer. Luke saw no reason to lie. His friend would probably see through it anyway. “I haven’t decided yet.”

“All right. Well, when you do, let me know. I need to tell the rest of the household what they’re allowed to watch on TV tonight.”

Luke looked up with a frown. “They can watch whatever they want.”

“Yeah, sure. I’m going to town to grab the beer. See you at my place in a few?”

He nodded. “Yeah.”

It would get easier. People looked forward to retirement. Right?

Yeah, right.

Cold beer went down real smooth when things in your life felt like they’d all gone to shit. Luke took another swallow from his fifth—or was it sixth—bottle of brew. He slumped lower against the cushions of the Collins’s living-room couch, settled in for the night.

The station came back from a break and cut to a picture that had the bottle in Luke’s hand pausing halfway down from his lips. An old photo of his father from back in his rodeo days filled the screen. Across it was written the name Charles Carpenter and the dates of his birth and death.

Chris leaned forward in his chair, then glanced at Luke. “Wow. Did you know about this?”

Luke shook his head. “No.”

He stopped talking because Annie’s voice came on the television as she narrated. It started with a video of Luke with his father at a competition last year, then it backtracked to a comprehensive photo retrospective of his father’s rodeo career which brought the mist that had been hovering just out of range for days now, back to his eyes.

The piece ended with video of Luke’s final ride from last week. The last time he’d ridden professionally. The last time he’d been happy before Chris had broken the news to him.

Then it was over. They cut back to the chutes and the next bull and rider with JW, one of the announcers in the booth, giving stats on both. Luke leaned back, shaken.

“That was quite a tribute.” Chris’s voice had that weird tone to it again, as if he was tentatively feeling out Luke’s mood.

“Yeah.” Luke knew exactly who was responsible for it too and he needed to thank her. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. It was only then he remembered the missed call he’d ignored hours ago while he’d been helping his mother with the suitcases. Testament to the fact that Luke was still rattled from recent events. He couldn’t even seem to remember to check his cell phone.

After flipping it open, Luke saw there was a message. He hit the button and dialed in his code and before long he heard Annie’s voice, telling him the network had asked for a story on his father. She’d wanted to let him know and make sure it was all right.

Too choked up, he didn’t want to talk to her like this. He hadn’t even called anyone official yet to tell them he wasn’t coming back to competition.

Luke didn’t have it in him to talk to her about his retiring and besides, she was busy at work anyway. They were in the middle of an event. She wouldn’t have time to answer a call so instead he punched in a text.

I saw it. It was beautiful. Thank you. Luke.

That would have to do for now. Maybe tomorrow he could bear to say out loud that he wasn’t coming back, but not tonight.

That done, Luke grabbed his bottle and downed quite a bit of the beer inside. He’d been sleeping like crap lately, but he had a feeling tonight would be better. He’d drunk enough to knock himself out anyway. It was all he could do to keep his eyes open now to watch the end of the competition in the Collins’s living room.

It was getting close to eleven o’clock. Chris’s parents had gone to bed long ago. Even Lilly had excused herself a few minutes ago. Good old Chris still hung in there though. Good friend that he was.

Chris rose and held up his empty bottle. “There’s one more. You want it?”

Groggy, Luke shook his head. “Nah, I’m good. It’s all yours.”

“Nah, I think I’m done for the night too.”

Luke realized that was probably a hint for him to leave so Chris could go to bed. “I guess I should get going. It’s late.” He started to hoist himself up from his spot on the couch, and found it harder to stand than it should have been.

“Stay. I don’t want you driving. I’ll get you a blanket and a pillow.” Chris laid a hand on his shoulder and pushed Luke back down into the seat after he’d worked so hard to get out of it.

“I’d only be driving for about half a mile.”

“On a public highway with other people and cars.” Chris shook his head. It was obvious to Luke that his friend was not going to give in.

“But my mom will worry.”

“No, she won’t. My mother and yours were on the phone together before.”

“Talking about me?” Luke scowled. Great. It was like he was a child again.

“Not really about you, but my mother promised yours we wouldn’t let you drive home if you’d had too many.” Chris glanced at the coffee table cluttered with empties.

“All right. I’ll stay.” He was in no mood to go home and walk into his room only to find his father’s clothes piled up on his bed anyway. Luke had specifically avoided his room all afternoon, knowing what was waiting for him there. “Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve passed out on your couch.”

Chris laughed. “Yeah, and Mom and Dad used to think we were just tired.” He shook his head. “Thank God they’re so gullible or we would’ve had our hides tanned quite a few times for sneaking into the liquor cabinet.”

“Yup.” Luke smiled at the memories. The only difference now was they were both well over the legal drinking age.

Chris disappeared into the hallway and returned with a blanket and pillow. “You need anything else? You want me to get you a glass of water from the kitchen?”

Luke raised a brow. “No, I’ll get it myself if I want. You don’t have to take care of me you know.”

“Sure I do.” Chris dismissed him with a wave of his hand.

“And why is that?” Luke’s gaze narrowed at his friend.

“Because I’ll expect you to take care of me the next time I’m out of it. I figure this way you’ll owe me.”

Luke let out a snort. “Nice friend you are.”

Chris shrugged with a grin. “I know. Have a good night. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Good night.”

Tomorrow morning was going to come very early after tonight. With that thought, Luke shut off the television, clicked off the lamp on the table next to him and closed his eyes. He fluffed the pillow behind his head and was drifting before he could think of anything else.

Luke came partially awake in the dark. His brain barely registered the unfamiliar surroundings. From his career on the road, he was used to waking up in a strange place each morning after sleeping in a different hotel room each night.

He became aware of someone next to him as their weight shifted the surface he lay on. Luke felt the warm body move closer. Fingers touched his face in the darkness, then soft, warm lips pressed to his. He let out a moan as his body responded.

Memories of making love to Annie bombarded both mind and body. Reaching up and grabbing a handful of her hair, Luke pulled her tighter against him. He deepened the kiss, plunging his tongue into her mouth.

He needed this now more than ever. Flipping them both over, he pressed harder against her beneath him. She spread her legs and made room for him between them. His damn jeans were a barrier he’d have to shuck. Soon, but not now. Now he just wanted to feel her close. Sink against her.

His tongue plunged into her mouth as his mind began to swim up from the pull of combined exhaustion and alcohol. His senses became sharper and he smelled both a familiar perfume and her arousal. His hands roamed down her sides and found she wore nothing but a T-shirt with no underwear beneath.

Plunging his fingers inside her, he moaned again when he found her wet and ready. He needed her so badly.

Luke pressed his mouth to her ear and felt her hair against his lips. “Annie—”

“Annie!” Lilly’s voice cut through his desire loud and clear as two fists pounded against his back.

“Shit.” Luke rolled off Lilly, falling off the couch and banging his knee on the coffee table. That sent the empty bottles toppling over like dominos, the sound deafening in the dark peace of the sleeping household. He was going to wake up the whole family, who would then come out and find him with a rapidly deflating hard-on and a half-naked Lilly tangled in his blanket. “Dammit, Lilly.”

She had sat up on the couch and, judging by her rapid breathing, was pretty pissed. In the dim light that filtered from the small table lamp Chris had left on in the hallway, Luke could see her face contorted with anger.

“I knew there was something going on with you and that woman.” Lilly’s opinion of Annie was quite clear in both her words and her tone.

Luke ran his hand over his face and drew in a deep breath. He was in no shape for a battle now, but it looked like he was going to have one.

“Lilly, you and I are broken up. We have been for months.” He kept his voice low, hoping she’d take the hint and do the same. At least her parents’ bedroom was at the other end of the house. The closest room was Chris’s. Hopefully he was still sound asleep from all the beer they’d drunk.

“Oh, I know we are. Is she why we’re broken up? Because after all these years, you wanted to be with her now instead of me?” Lilly accused.

He really didn’t want to discuss Annie with anyone, and especially not Lilly. Luke had spent the night watching Annie on television, realizing he could never be with her now that he wouldn’t be traveling with her and the circuit and then drinking more beer to combat the misery. “No. Our breakup had nothing to do with her. You know why we’re not together, Lilly.”

“I’m not so sure I do.” She crossed her arms defiantly.

He wasn’t convinced that was the truth. Luke remembered her ultimatum word for word. It was a choice between continuing to ride in the pro circuit or her, pure and simple. Luke hadn’t chosen riding over Lilly, per se. He’d simply chosen not to be with a woman who couldn’t accept who he was and what he loved to do.

“You didn’t want me to ride any more, Lilly.”

“No. I didn’t want you traipsing all over the damn world riding.”

“Exactly. You wanted me here, working on the farm just like your father and my father and Chris.” Which was exactly what Luke had chosen to do now that his father was gone and he had to retire to run the ranch. Realization hit Luke hard. “Lilly, why did you come out here and kiss me tonight?”

“You’ve left the circuit, just like I wanted you to months ago when you refused. That was our only problem, your traveling all the time. Now that you won’t be, we can be together.” Her tone wasn’t as hostile as it had been, but that didn’t make the words she spoke sit any better with Luke. His suspicions were true. She’d gotten her way. Even if it hadn’t been for her, he’d retired, just like she’d wanted him to.

She acted like it was perfectly logical. Like they were weighing pros and cons like a person did when deciding to buy one brand of truck over another. But this wasn’t that kind of decision. The suggestion to go back to where they’d been before left him totally cold. He’d glimpsed just a little bit of what true happiness could be like with Annie. Going back to Lilly because there was no reason not to would be a pale shadow of the love he knew was out there waiting for him. Even if he knew he couldn’t make things work with Annie, she’d shown him there was more to be had. He wasn’t settling for anything less.

He wanted more.

“No, Lilly.”

“Why not? Because of her.” Lilly delivered the last word with pure hatred.

“No…maybe. I don’t know.” Luke drew in and let out a loud breath. He couldn’t make Lilly understand. Not in her current mood. Maybe not ever.

Lilly let out a huff. “Okay. You’re right. We were broken up. I can forgive you if you slept with her. As long as you never ever talk to her again.”

Luke frowned. “This isn’t about Annie, Lilly. She’s not the reason I don’t want to get back together.”

Lilly shot him a doubt filled look. “Then what is?”

“I can’t explain it. All I know is that if we’d truly been right together, nothing would have broken us up. If we were meant to be together, I would have married you years ago.”

“You didn’t propose to me because you were traveling so much. At least that’s what you said when I brought up the subject of marriage.” She raised a brow, as if accusing him of lying.

“Because that’s what I’d told myself at the time, but I don’t think that was it.” Luke shook his head. He hadn’t ever been inspired to propose to Lilly, or even look at rings. That had to mean something. “Guys I ride with are married on the road. They make it work. I think deep down I knew.”

“Knew what?”

“That we weren’t… That you weren’t…” How could he say this without destroying the woman he’d known his entire life and had dated for nearly seven years?

“That I wasn’t the one.” Her words were spoken softly and sounded filled with pain.

Luke sat back down next to her. She turned her body toward his as he took her hand in his. “Yeah. I’m sorry.”

He truly was.

“But we’re so good together.” She leaned in so her breath brushed his cheek. Her leg pressed against his as she moved closer. Her other hand moved up his thigh. Then her lips touched his again.

Luke pulled back. “Lilly. Stop.”

“Why? We can just have this if that’s all you want.”

“Lilly. Sex isn’t everything.”

“But we’re so good at it.” Her hand inched up farther.

She was pretending she’d be happy with just sex. Hell, maybe she even believed it herself, but Luke knew this woman better than that. She would never be happy with just a casual physical thing after what they’d had. And he didn’t want that either.

The attraction he’d felt for her just wasn’t there anymore. Not the way it had been when he’d been twenty-four and desperately waiting for a seventeen-year-old Lilly to turn eighteen so he could have all of her. Back when they were both young and thought they were in love.