His Bonnie Bride (29 page)

"Easier said than done."

"Keep trying, lassie. That is where ye will find a bit of peace."

Storm studied the women and children around her. She sensed that Maggie spoke for all of them. Not one had an accusatory word or look for her. They quietly went about the business of preparing for war. They silently but firmly included her in their number, as just another woman doing what she could to help the men who were soon to be fighting. She wondered how many knew that she, too, held the fear of losing a loved one, that her prayers were not really for any of the English outside the walls of Caraidland, but for one tall, dark Scot standing upon its battlements, bravely facing the overwhelming odds.

Inwardly, she grimaced and tried to concentrate upon the salve she mixed. She would not be surprised to discover that every woman there knew how she felt about Tavis. Love was an emotion most women could easily recognize in another. It would not really surprise her to discover that they had seen how she felt before she had.

Briefly, she wondered what Tavis thought about the words she had spoken to him. Did he believe her? Did her confession make him happy or appall him? Was he wondering how he really felt about her or if there was a future for them?

A soft curse echoed through her mind, and she told herself not to be such an idiot. He was standing upon the walls of Caraidland looking at a gathering force that was more than twice the size of his own. He had no time to think on a few whispered words. Lives hung in the balance; perhaps the end of the MacLagans and Caraidland was drawing near. What one small woman felt or said was not something he would ponder as he faced that. Even she could understand how, at this moment in their lives, what she felt for him and he for her was insignificant.

She tried very hard not to think of him, at least not constantly. It only made her fear for him grow. Nothing could make her stop being afraid for him, stop worrying about what he faced, but she knew it was time to concentrate upon other things. Very soon there would be work that needed doing, people who needed help. She had to stop being so distracted or she could fail them, fail to carry her share of the burden.

After the battle we will talk, she told herself. The MacLagans have to win and, Papa, if ye are watching, I know ye will understand why I wish our enemies to be the victors. I swallowed my pride and told him how I feel, Papa. I could not let it stay a secret when death stares us in the face. I hope ye understand something else, Papa. I have begged God to let Tavis live, e'en if he cares not a drop for me. I need him to live e'en more than I need him to love me. But, Papa? An all goes awry and Hugh does as we all fear, if he wipes the earth clean of the clan MacLagan, please help me. Hugh will take me alive and within me is growing a new MacLagan, hope for the future of the clan and a part of the man I love. Help me keep the child alive, Papa, I beg it of you.

Her silent conversation with her father came to an abrupt halt. The sound reaching her ears told her that the men of Caraidland no longer stood silent and waiting. She grasped Maggie's hand.

"It begins."

"MacLagan, do you hear me?"

Colin stared down at Sir Hugh, who had ridden forward, flying a flag that indicated he wished to talk, and flanked by two men-at-arms. "Aye. Do ye come to ask me terms o' surrender?"

Hugh spluttered with outrage. " 'Tis no time for jests, fool. Do ye yield?"

"Nay, Sassanach dog. Caraidland will never yield."

"Then it will fall. Look about. Can you deny what your eyes see? I have many men, many more than you do. Near to twice as many."

"That makes us about equal then."

"You fool," Hugh screamed. "Do you mean to condemn your whole clan for but one girl? Is your son's whore worth the loss of Caraidland, the end of your clan? Give her over to me and I will spare your people. Do not force me to spill the blood of your people for an English slut."

"The only blood that will run today is Sassanach blood."

"I will bring this keep down around your ears, you fool."

"Then cease yapping, cur, and get on with the business."

"You die today, MacLagan. You and your whole clan, the rest of that thieving scum." He hurled the truce flag down, trampling it in the dust as he rode back to his army.

"The man has nay control o'er his temper, eh?" Colin grinned at his sons, who flanked him, as Hugh rode back to his men and began to scream orders. "He doesnae have old Eldon's skill with a taunt. There was a man who kenned how to wield a word."

Sholto laughed and shook his head. "Ye talk as if ye miss the man."

"Aye, I do and will. 'Tis rare in a man's life to face a man like Roden Eldon. Ye kenned ye could trust his word. Unlike this whoreson, Eldon wouldnae slay the innocent. Eldon would give up a victory ere he would take sword to the unarmed, women and children. Ye knew where ye stood with Eldon. If he took hostages, ye could trust him to treat them weel. All ye needed to fash yourself about was the ransom and how to raise it. Aye, I will miss him. I could trust and respect that Sassanach more than I can trust some of me own kin."

"Aye, he was a fine enemy," agreed Iain. "Ah, the whoreson begins to move."

"But will it be a full attack?"

"This time I think it will be, Tavis," Colin replied as the English force bellowed their battle cry and surged forward en masse, picking up speed as they went.

Beneath a murderous hail of arrows, the English force pressed on. Time blurred for the Scots as they fought to cull the English force and keep the walls of Caraidland from being breeched. They had barely enough men to hold the walls and all knew that if those walls were scaled, they would lose in the resulting confrontation. Falling back to the keep was an option, but it was also an admission of defeat and none of them wanted that. Such a retreat would also bring the enemy closer to the women and children.

Tavis moved along the parapets, viewing the battle from every possible angle. He did not need to urge any man on. They all knew they were fighting not only for their own lives but for the very future of the clan. No one doubted Sir Hugh's threat nor that any offer he made to deal for clemency or surrender was a lie, that he only sought to trick them into letting down their defenses. They had all taken a true account of the man he was, that he was not a man one could trust, not even if he swore on all that was holy to every man.

He reached one point where there was one man dead and another badly wounded. There was no one left to push the scaling ladder away, although the wounded man struggled valiantly to get to his feet and shove the ladder down. Tavis grasped the ladder even as the first man scaling it reached the top and desperately tried to stop him from pushing the ladder away.

As he started to push, Tavis looked into the man's eyes and wished he had not. There he read the fear nearly every man held, the one of falling. The man stared death in the face and could do nothing, only wait for his body to finish plummeting to the ground. Tavis felt something inside of him twist with horror at the thought of what he was about to do to the man.

"Ye have twa blinks of an eye to get closer to God's earth, man," Tavis growled even as he wondered what madness had seized him, a madness that was giving his enemy a chance to live.

The man blinked, then gaped in amazement, and then began to scramble down the ladder. He screamed at the others to hurry and back down. They hastily obeyed as Tavis began to push the ladder further away from the wall. When he judged them a relatively safe distance from the ground he shoved the ladder away, watching it and the few men it still held topple to the ground. He noticed that they made no attempt to put it or another up against the wall.

"Why did ye do that?"

Glancing at the wounded young man, Tavis frowned. "I dinnae ken. I looked into the man's face and ..." He shook his head. "I dinnae ken. I saw his fear ... I ..."

The young man nodded before Tavis finished stumbling through his disjointed explanation. "Ye cannae look at them. It isnae like wielding a sword, with the blood lust in your veins. Ye maun ne'er look. Just push." The young man's eyes closed and he groaned softly.

Yelling to a few men, Tavis soon had the weak spot covered. He put an arm under the wounded man's arms and nearly carried him into the hall. Upon entering the hall, he nearly screamed with frustration.

There were too many wounded. He knew there would soon be more weak spots along the wall than men able to fill them.

Storm was told that another wounded man had been brought in and hurried to lay out a pallet for him, a blanket all they had left to use. She did not realize Tavis was the one aiding the hurt man until she had spread out the blanket and looked up to see if she could help to lay the wounded youth down. For a long moment her gaze devoured the sight of his begrimed face as her mind reveled in this proof that he was still hale. It was another moment before she realized that the wounded young man was Jeanne's betrothed.

"How goes it?" she asked Tavis after calling for Jeanne and starting to cut away the blood-stained tunic young Robbie wore.

" 'Tis hard to say," he answered with a weary honesty. "So many wounded, yet the scaling ladders still clatter against our walls."

"But Hugh is upon none of them."

"Nay. The bastard rides about at a safe distance and drives his men on. I cannae help but think that if we could cut the whoreson down, it would end this attack."

"Aye, I think it would, and mayhaps he does too. 'Tis mayhaps why he stays away." She grimaced, hating to say anything that might be seen as even remotely favorable to Sir Hugh. "He is a low piece of scum, but I have ne'er noted that he suffered from cowardice."

"Nay, I dinnae feel he is a coward either. He cares little for his men's lives, though, simply keeps hurling them at our walls. Och, weel, I should be grateful that he has not the weaponry to hurl anything else at us." He shook his head as Jeanne arrived, and Storm let her take over the care of Robbie. "We hold, but 'tis all we do."

" 'Tis enough, is it not?" Storm moved to stand before him, as worried about possible defeat as he.

"Aye, if we can keep holding, but"—he looked again at the many wounded, few of them able to be patched up and quickly returned to battle—"I fear there will soon be more weak spots upon the wall than we have men to fill them."

"An I go to him ..." she began, still hoping that there would be some way to stop what was happening.

"Nay." He gently gripped her shoulders. "Nay, little one. 'Tis more than ye being bickered over now and all ken it, e'en ye. He means to end the clan. When he cried that he would bring Caraidland down about Father's ears, that he would see us all dead, he didnae boast, nay, nor make an idle threat. He but spoke the truth, a truth we all kenned ere he put it into words. For mayhaps the first time in his life, Sir Hugh spoke honestly. E'en had we been fool enough to agree to his terms of surrender, he would have slain us all. Ye are the only one he means to keep alive. We fight for our very existence, for the survival of the clan.

"Do ye ken? For a while I faulted meself for all o' this. An I had let ye be, mayhaps none o' this would have occurred. But, nay, I ken it would have. We would have raided Hagaleah again and brought him to our gates. 'Tis better to have brought it on because a fair wee lass than for a herd of cattle or a few mares."

"He is mad, I think."

"Near to, mayhaps. Mayhaps 'tis the pair o' them, he and Lady Mary. She, too, is the sort to demand such a vengeance. I maun get back to the walls." He pulled her into his arms, caring nothing about their audience, although almost everyone in the hall was too busy to be interested. "Say it again, Storm." He kissed her and whispered, "Say it again. I find I have a craving to hear the words."

"I love ye," she said softly, coloring deeply but unable to refuse him his request. " 'Til the sun ceases to rise of a morn and beyond."

He said nothing, simply kissed her fiercely and left. She stared after him, wondering if it meant that much that he liked to hear her speak of her love. Shaking her head, she returned to the grisly, sad work of tending the wounded that continued to flow into the hall. For now it would be enough that her admission had not pushed him away from her as she had feared it might. Later, and she refused to think that there could be no later, she would find out what his liking of the words meant to her.

The sun was nearly at its apex in the sky before Sir Hugh allowed his troops to draw back long enough to allow Caraidland any rest. Tavis sank down to sit where he had stood. The air carried the smell of blood and death. He felt that he did too. When Phelan paused by him with the water Tavis poured a dipperful over his head before taking a long drink.

"There will be a lot of widows and orphans at Hagaleah," Phelan said softly as he peered over the walls and viewed the dead and dying strewn over the land.

"Aye. This is a costly way to do battle, a bloody waste of good fighting men. The attackers must toss away many a life to end that o' but one o' those upon the walls. That is why Eldon e'er preferred an acre fight. He didnae see his men as naught but fodder for Scots' arrows and swords. He would ne'er have wasted lives so."

"Nay. He cared about the welfare of e'en the lowest peasant." Phelan smiled sadly. "For all he bellowed and cursed. It grieves me sorely that I could not know him longer and better."

"Aye. He was the best of enemies."

"And Sir Hugh is the worst."

"Aye, laddie. The worst. His word isnae e'en worth spitting on. He will slaughter the bairns at their mother's breast and think naught of it. I wonder what fool knighted him."

"He saved the life of an important man. I think there was little choice. There had to be a reward."

"True. Such a thing cannae be ignored. 'Twould be a black deed, blacker than the knighting of a man like Sir Hugh."

"Can Sir Hugh win?" Phelan asked softly.

"I fear he can, laddie. We ready ourselves e'en now to fall back to the keep, to give up the outer wall and the bailey. Some of the bairns were slinked away out o' the tunnel, but we daren't move too many or 'twould be seen and all lost. We cannae hold against many more attacks. Too many wounded, though, by God's sweet grace, few dead yet." He grimaced. "Mayhaps 'twould be best if they were dying upon the walls. If Caraidland falls, I think Sir Hugh willnae kill us all with any mercy."