“It’s all right,Tomas,” she said, embarrassed, “These are happy tears.”
“Tomas,” Niall said, his voice sounding very serious.
“Aye, Laird?” Tomas answered in a small voice.
“Lady Katherine and I have decided ye need to have a family, ye need parents.”
“But I don’t know how to get a family,” Tomas said, sounding concerned.
“That’s all right, Tomas, you don’t need to worry about that,” Katherine said, and knelt beside him. “We thought maybe you would like for us to be your parents.”
“Really? Can I call you Mama?”
“Aye, sweetheart,” she said, and he flung himself into her arms, nearly knocking her over with his fierce hug. Then he looked shyly up at Niall and asked in another loud whisper, “What do I call the laird?”
“I think ‘Da’ will be fine.” Niall said and Tomas threw his arms around Niall’s legs.
Fingal laughed, saying, “Before ye ask, Tomas, ye can call me Uncle Fingal.”
Nine
With Edna’s help, Katherine slipped easily into life at Duncurra during the next several weeks. Her days fell into a comfortable rhythm. Although Katherine was in the habit of waking very early, Niall generally arose before her. He had usually dressed and gone by the time she woke. He spent much of the day away from the keep, seeing to the needs of the clan and the training of his men, while she managed the keep.
Katherine looked forward to the evenings when they sat together by the hearth in the great hall before retiring. While no one could ever forget Niall was their laird, he seemed more relaxed and at his ease during this time. Fingal and Diarmad nearly always joined them, as did other guardsmen occasionally. Tomas also liked to stay with them at least long enough to hear several stories before Katherine put him to bed. During these relaxed evenings, Katherine began to see the man she married more clearly.
When they did retire, she found joy with him she had never dared to hope for. One evening as they lay in each other’s arms savoring the afterglow of their love-making, the gold ring on her left hand caught her eye. She smiled to herself as she remembered her thoughts about it on her wedding day. As each day passed she recognized that the stranger to whom the king had given her hand now very firmly held her heart.
Happier than she had been in many years, Katherine embraced her Highland clansmen and their culture without reserve. Katherine found the women of her new clan more than willing to help her adjust. She hadn’t had a woman in her life to guide and help her since her mother’s death and it pleased her when every matron in the clan, most particularly Bridie, treated her like a daughter. It was not uncommon to hear, “Och, lass, let me show ye now, if ye do that this way...,” and she was genuinely happy to learn from them. She didn’t mind the familiarity. It also wasn’t uncommon to hear her say to an older woman, “Och, Ana, that is much too heavy for ye to lift, let me get it.” Truthfully, she knew exactly how to run a castle and she worked as hard as her clanswomen did, which earned their respect.
Learning how to live with the man she had married proved to be a bit more difficult. As laird, he ruled the clan without question. The words he said to her on her first evening at Duncurra,
Katherine, if I ask ye to do something, I want no argument. I expect ye to do it
, came back to her over and over again.
Katherine had no idea how difficult that seemingly simple request would be for her. It seemed odd in a way because her uncle was certainly demanding. If he gave her a specific order, she followed it, or at least her interpretation of it. However, other than the things he needed to ensure his own personal comfort, he didn’t really care about much else. She found Niall much more demanding in many ways, and while he would never raise a hand to her, she managed to raise his ire frequently. More often than not this happened because she broke a rule she either didn’t know or didn’t understand. In some cases she didn’t quite realize something he said was an order.
On one of these occasions Katherine was working in one of the kitchens preparing an infusion of wych elm. When it came to preparing the plants and herbs she used in medicines, she preferred to complete the tasks herself to ensure the best results. Although time for the midday meal approached, she didn’t expect Niall back at Duncurra until evening. She planned to finish her task and, if necessary, give orders to serve the meal without her. One of the serving maids found her in the kitchen.
“Lady Katherine, the laird has just arrived.”
“He’s back already? I didn’t expect him until much later.”
“He said he is ready for the meal to be served.”
Intent on her work, Katherine said cheerily, “Oh, please begin without me, then.”
In a few minutes the maid was back, saying, “My lady, the laird asks ye to join him for the meal.”
“Well, please tell him I can’t leave just at the moment, I need to finish this. Go ahead and serve the meal, and I will be along in a bit.”
Moments later a white-faced Bridie found her and said, “Och, lass, the laird’s in a fine temper. I will finish this for ye. Go.”
“What is he in a temper over?” Katherine asked, thoroughly confused.
“Lass, did Seanna not just come and tell ye the laird wants ye to join him for the meal?”
“Aye, but—”
“If he wants ye to join him, ye’d best not keep him waiting,” she said, shooing her away from the kettle.
Exasperated, Katherine went to join Niall at the table. The hall was unusually quiet and the glare with which he pierced her as she entered would have put the fear of God into most people. When she reached the table, she said matter-of-factly “You’re angry.”
“Aye. I’m angry.”
Glancing at the table she saw Diarmad suddenly rubbing his brow, looking as if he was trying desperately not to laugh.
“Why?” she asked.
“Why?” he repeated incredulously. “Ye defied me.”
“Defied you?” She sounded astonished. “I’m terribly sorry. I certainly didn’t intend to defy you.”
“Ye didn’t intend—Katherine, sit down,” he growled and motioned for the servants to serve the meal.
When the noise in the hall rose to normal levels, Katherine leaned over and said sweetly, “Niall, how did I defy you?” Diarmad shook in silent laughter.
Now it was Naill who looked astonished. “Katherine, were ye not told that I wanted ye to join me for the meal?”
“Aye.”
“And did ye not say me nay?”
“Not exactly, I didn’t realize it was a command, and I just couldn’t leave what I was doing at that moment.”
“Katherine, if I ask ye to do something, I expect ye to do it. I don’t care what else ye are doing at the time. I will not tolerate defiance. Don’t do it again.”
His anger seemed diffused and she ate in silence for a few minutes before asking, “Just so I’m clear, what do you mean by ‘defiance’?”
Looking even more astounded, he asked, “Do ye truly not understand what the word ‘defiance’ means?”
“Oh, nay,” Katherine said lightly, “I understand what it means, I am just wondering if it means the same thing to both of us.”
A muscle in Niall’s jaw twitched. “Defiance means willful disobedience. Do we understand each other?”
“Aye, I think we do. So you agree I didn’t defy you and your anger is misplaced.”
“Ye didn’t—I—what?”
“Well, I didn’t realize I had been given a command, thus I couldn’t have made a conscious or willful choice not to follow it. So based on your definition, I didn’t defy you, I was simply confused and you shouldn’t be angry.” Katherine calmly turned her attention back to her trencher.
Niall stared blankly at her for a moment. He chuckled softly, but soon his chuckles evolved to uproarious laughter. When he finally had control of himself again he said, “My lady, I apologize. In the future I will try to make my wishes clearer.”
“It will certainly save you a tremendous amount of upset if you do,” she said imperiously and he laughed again.
When he had stopped laughing and they were no longer the center of attention, she put her hand on his arm, leaned towards him again, and said in a voice only he could hear, “Niall, please don’t always assume the worst from me. It was a misunderstanding. I would never intentionally defy you.”
Katherine had no idea how difficult that simple request was for him.
Ten
Fingal had said Niall “protects his own,” but it took Katherine a while to really understand what that meant. She loved to go riding, but she had been so focused on the management of Duncurra, she hadn’t been on Eachann’s back since the day she arrived. On one late summer day, the open heath outside of Duncurra’s walls practically called to her. She needed to replenish some of her herbs, so she gathered the supplies required for collecting them and headed to the stables. When she asked a stable hand to saddle Eachann for her, he seemed confused and asked, “Are ye riding to the village?”
“I need to gather some medicinal herbs,” she answered by way of explanation.
“In the village?”
She laughed. “Nay, lad, there are not many herbs growing in the village.”
The boy looked uncomfortable and asked, “So ye are planning to ride outside the walls?”
She laughed again. “Aye, lad. I will need to if I want to gather herbs.”
“Then where is your escort, my lady?”
“My escort? I don’t need any help.”
Looking even more uncomfortable, he said, “My lady, ye can’t ride outside the walls of Duncurra without an escort. It wouldn’t be safe. The laird would never allow it. If ye will wait a bit, I will find the laird or Diarmad so an escort can be arranged.”
She smiled at him and said, “Nay, lad. Thank you, but I don’t wish to pull anyone away from more important work.”
Disappointed, she left the stables. It seemed silly to tie up man-power with an escort, especially since she didn’t really need to ride, she just wanted to for the enjoyment of it. She could gather much of what she required just beyond the village, so she strolled down the sloping crag, through the village. When she reached the barbican, the watch there stopped her. “My lady, I can’t let ye pass.”
“Excuse me?” she asked, not quite believing what she heard. “I’m just going to gather some herbs in the heath beyond the village.”
“I’m sorry, my lady, if ye will just wait a moment, I will send for a guardsman to go with ye.”
“That really won’t be necessary,” said Katherine, feeling a bit irritated. “I’m not going far.”
“I’m sorry, my lady, but the laird would not want ye to go outside Duncurra’s walls without an escort. It will only take a few minutes to fetch one of the guardsmen,” he said, motioning to another of the men-at-arms to go and do just that.
Katherine put her hand up to stop him. “Nay, thank you, but it isn’t necessary.” She turned to walk back through the village and up the hill to the keep.
This is completely ridiculous
. How was she supposed to gather the supplies she needed? She certainly had no intention of arguing with a stable boy or men-at-arms when they only followed orders, but she would have a discussion about it with Niall as soon as she could be alone with him.
The discussion didn’t wait that long. Katherine had barely swallowed her first bite of the evening meal when Niall asked, “Where were ye going today that ye didn’t want an escort.”
His voice sounded very nonchalant, but when she looked at him she could see the displeasure written plainly on his face. She wanted to tell him how she felt about being little more than a prisoner in her home. Instead she said, “Niall, can we talk about this later, when we are alone?”
“I asked ye a question, Katherine, and I want an answer,” he pushed, his annoyance now clearly expressed in his tone of voice.
“I wanted to go to the heath to gather some herbs I need for medicines.” She hoped that answer would do for now.
“Why couldn’t you do that with an escort?”
“It wasn’t that I couldn’t gather herbs with an escort, I didn’t think it was necessary to pull someone away from their work for something as ridiculous as watching me gather herbs.” Now Katherine was getting angry, too. “Please, can we discuss this later?”
“There is nothing more to discuss. If ye need to leave the walls of Duncurra, ye will have an escort.” Niall said this loudly enough that those sitting closest to them stared.
Katherine nodded but said nothing. There was more to discuss but she wouldn’t do it here. She shifted her attention back to her trencher.
“Do ye understand me?”
Raising her head slowly, she leveled a glare at him and said very quietly, “Neither my hearing, nor my intellect, are impaired. I understand you perfectly.”
“Are ye angry with me?” he asked, sounding surprised.
She pulled the reins of her temper back in, adopting an unconcerned expression, before saying calmly, “It doesn’t matter. I understand there is nothing more to discuss.”
“Ye disagree?” Again he seemed astounded.
Of course, she disagreed, she thought angrily. She would not have asked to discuss it later if she felt there was nothing to discuss. She wanted to yell that at him but to do so would only raise his ire further and make everyone around them painfully uncomfortable. She said, “I would never disagree with you in public.”
This seemed to appease him and soon Diarmad drew him into conversation. She picked at the meal in front of her, but she had no appetite left for it. When a sufficient amount of time had passed and Tomas had finished eating, she excused herself to take him for a bath and ready him for bed.
Generally only the laird and the lady or their honored guests had a bath prepared for them in an upstairs chamber. Most everyone else bathed behind a screened area in one of the kitchens, where they could heat the water and fill the bath with much less effort. Katherine sent Fineen, one of Duncurra’s chamber maids, to get a fresh
léine
for Tomas while she led him to the kitchen. Never happy about having to stop playing and wash, Tomas grumbled and complained through the entire bath.
She felt hot and tired, not to mention still very angry, by the time she finally had him tucked in bed. The last thing she wanted to do was go back down to the great hall. She retired to their chamber to spend the rest of the evening alone, sewing.