Her Rugged Rancher (17 page)

“And you have the foolish notion that you can control what my heart feels for you. But you can't, Noah. No more than you can control what your heart is trying to say to you.”

His jaw clamped tight, he moved away from her tempting body and turned his back to her. “I'm not going to Tombstone, Bella. We're not going. Ward is dead. Everything is dead. Over. Why can't you get that through your head?”

“Nothing is over, Noah. It's just now beginning. Pretty soon you're going to wake up and see that for yourself. When you do, you know where to find me.”

He was trying to think of some way to shoot down her comments when he heard her high heels clicking past him and out the door of the feed room.

Glancing around, he spotted the letter still lying where Bella had laid it on the hay bale. He walked over and stuffed it and the envelope in his shirt pocket, then strode quickly out of the feed room.

Sweet Potato was waiting at the hitching rail. He couldn't stop to think about Ward's death or Camilla's request for him to return to the Verde. And he especially couldn't let himself dwell on thoughts of Bella.

But as he jumped the lame horse into the trailer and headed toward the Silver Horn, three little words continued to revolve around and around in his head until they settled smack in the middle of his heart.

I love you.

What was he going to do now? Leave for Tombstone with Bella in tow? Or leave the J Bar S and Bella behind?

Chapter Ten

B
y the time Friday rolled around Bella still hadn't heard a word from Noah, although she'd learned through Jett that Noah had shared the contents of the letter with him and explained what had transpired seven years ago on Verde Canyon Ranch.

For the past few days since they'd talked in the feed room, she'd been hoping and praying that he would come to the conclusion that traveling to Arizona and facing Camilla was the best way to start his life over and begin a new one with Bella.

She'd told him that she loved him and maybe that had been a mistake. He'd just learned that his old friend was dead and that Camilla wanted to see him. No doubt he'd been too shocked for his mind to register much. But he'd had days to think about it now, she reasoned as she shut down the computer on her desk.

You might as well face it, Bella. Noah doesn't want to start his life over with you. He doesn't care whether you love him or not. The only thing he ever wanted from you was sex and now even that is over. So move on and forget the man.

Bella was trying to shut down the voice in her head, when Jett suddenly walked into her office carrying a bouquet of red tulips.

Trying her best to give him a cheerful smile, she asked, “You're giving Sassy flowers tonight? What's the occasion?”

“These aren't for Sassy, though God knows she deserves to get flowers every day,” he said. “These are for you, dear sis. I know you like red so I picked these.”

“Picked them yourself, huh? Right from the flower shop?” she teased, then shook her head. “Why am I getting flowers? Do I look like I need something to perk me up?”

He placed the flowers on the corner of her desk, then leaned down to brush a kiss on her pale cheek. “Frankly, you've been looking awful.”

Sighing, she switched off the lamp on her desk. “Thanks. Every girl wants to hear that.”

He regarded her with a keen eye and Bella knew he was thinking about bringing up the subject of Noah. But thankfully, he didn't. Instead, he said, “The flowers are to say congratulations for getting Brent Stanhope exonerated of all charges.”

Smiling wanly she rose to her feet and gathered a stack of case folders for Peta to file away. “I can't take the credit for that, Jett. Mr. Potter figured it out.”

“Not without your help,” he said knowingly. “You're the one who pulled the truth out of the wife.”

Yesterday Bella had decided to talk with the woman again and her persistence had paid off. Rather than making threats, she'd appealed to the woman's fears and pointed out that her penalty for aiding her husband in a crime would be much less if she would confess. Thankfully, the woman had finally relented and admitted her husband had planned the whole scheme. As a result, the insurance investigator had caught him trying to sell the missing jewelry at a pawn shop in Las Vegas.

“Well, I'm just glad Brent is free and his record is cleared.” She pointed to a gold-colored box on the corner of her desk. “Valerie sent me a card and chocolates. Along with a promise to take me out to dinner. Needless to say, she's happy.”

Jett curled his arm around her shoulders and hugged her to his side. “I'm proud of you, sis. I only wish I could see a happy smile on your face. A real one.”

“Don't worry about me, Jett. I'm not going to fall apart.” Not yet, at least. But her heart was definitely close to cracking right down the middle.

“Noah is going to come around, sis. I don't have to tell you he's a man who holds things inside. He's needs time to digest everything that's happened.”

Sighing, she said, “I'm beginning to think it's just not meant for me to have a husband and family. What am I doing wrong, Jett? After Marcus I waited so long to even let myself think of getting into another relationship. Now I've fallen in love with a man who's determined to be a bachelor for the rest of his life.”

Before Jett could make a reply, she crossed the room and plucked the sweater she'd worn to work this morning from its hanger and tossed it over her arm.

When she returned to the desk and picked up the bouquet of tulips, Jett said, “Right now Noah doesn't believe he's good enough to be your husband.”

Frustration boiled over, making her glare at her brother. “What is it with you men and your egos?” She waved her hand in dismissive fashion. “Don't bother trying to answer that. It doesn't matter. I'm damned tired of trying to stroke Noah's, to try to pump him up and make him believe in himself! If he can't believe in himself, then why the hell am I wasting my time with him?”

She started toward the door, then realizing she'd forgotten her handbag, returned to her desk and collected it from the kneehole.

“Where are you going?” Jett asked.

She slung the strap of her handbag over her shoulder. “Home. Do you mind?” she asked sharply.

“I'm not your boss, Bella. You can do whatever you please. But don't you think Noah is the one you should be yelling this stuff at? Instead of me?”

Jett's questions brought her up short and with a rueful groan she shook her head. “I'm sorry, Jett. I shouldn't have gone off on you like that. I'm behaving like a shrew. And none of this is your fault. It's all mine.”

“Forget it, sis. I already have.”

With a grateful little smile, she kissed his cheek. “I'm going home and saddling up Casper. I've not given him any exercise in a while. Maybe the fresh air will help clear my head.”

“Good idea. Just be sure and take a raincoat with you. The weatherman predicted a shower today.”

Laughing now, Bella headed to the door. “Now, that is funny. Rain in June? After months of drought? You were listening to a fantasy, dear brother. Not a weather report.”

“Just humor me and tie a slicker on your saddle. Okay?”

“Okay. Whatever you say.”

* * *

Later that evening, Noah and two other ranch hands were standing just inside the door of the barn, waiting for the downpour of rain to slack enough to finish the barn chores.

“I don't think it's going to slow down,” Reggie spoke above the roar of the rain pelting against the tin roof.

“I'm with you on that,” Lew agreed. “And I don't want to stand here for hours. Let's drag out the slickers and finish the feeding.”

“Don't complain, guys,” Noah said, “this means more grass and less time spreading hay.”

With good-natured grumbling, the two men left to fetch the slickers from the tack room. Noah remained standing at the door's edge, watching the rivulets of water creating tiny creeks across the packed ground in front of the barn. Lightning continued to crackle close by and Noah thought about the horses they'd turned out to pasture earlier that morning. Instinct would have them running straight for the shelter of the trees. Hopefully, the lightning would spare them.

Just as Reggie and Lew were returning with the slickers, Jett caught the faint sound of his cell phone ringing. As he pulled it from his pocket to answer, he stepped backward, hoping to lessen the din of the rain.

“Yes, Jett, it's raining here,” he said before the other man had a chance to say anything. “We're going to have grass now, buddy!”

“The rain is a welcome sight,” Jett agreed, “except that it has me worried.”

“Can't do anything about the lightning, Jett. Just pray the cattle and horses don't get hit.”

“It's not the livestock I'm worried about. It's Bella. She left work early with intentions of riding Casper. I warned her to take a slicker, but I never expected a storm like this. Otherwise I would've told her not to go!”

Noah felt like an icy north wind just whammed him in the face. “She probably has her cell phone with her. Have you tried calling?”

Jett blew out an impatient breath. “For the past thirty minutes. My calls are going straight to her voice mail. I've been ringing her landline, too, but no answer there, either. Are you still at the ranch yard?”

“Yeah. We still have a few chores here.”

“Oh, I thought maybe with the rain you'd already headed home and spotted her along the way.”

“Don't worry, Jett. I'm going to go look for her.”

“Noah, that would be like searching for a rabbit in a field of rose hedge! When Bella goes riding it's not just a little five-minute jaunt from the house and five back. She might go for miles. Especially considering the mood she was in!”

Jett's last remark caught Noah's attention, but he didn't press the other man to explain. There wasn't time for that. Besides, Noah had been in a hell of a mood himself for the past few days.

“I said don't worry,” Noah clipped. “I have an idea where she might've gone. I'll call you as soon as I find her.”

He abruptly ended the call and turned to see Lew and Reggie walking up the alleyway of the barn. He hurried to meet them and snatched one of the oiled dusters thrown over Lew's shoulder.

As he jammed his arms into the sleeves, he said, “Sorry, guys. An emergency has come up and I have to leave. You two handle things here.”

Reggie asked, “Don't you need our help?”

Already in a run out of the barn, Noah yelled, “I'll call you if I do.”

Once the dirt road passed the main ranch house, it was rough and rocky, but today with water already washing out ruts and dislodging boulders, the track was downright treacherous. Noah tried to go as fast as possible, but every few feet he was forced to downshift and jerk the steering wheel one way and then the other.

All the while he negotiated the truck over the rough terrain, icy fear continued to grow inside him. If Bella had ridden down the canyon, a flash flood could have swept her and Casper away. But even if she wasn't in the canyon, lightning was cracking all across the mesa. Even if it didn't strike her and the horse directly, it could definitely cause a tree to crash down on them.

What are you getting all panicky about, Noah? Other than being your boss's sister, she's nothing special to you. If she'd been that special, you would've already told her so. You would've confessed to her that she was the very beat of your heart. And you certainly wouldn't keep pushing her away.

Cursing at the mocking voice in his head, Noah twisted the windshield wipers to the fastest speed and hunched forward in an effort to see through the downpour. If Bella was out there, he'd have hell seeing her like this, he thought grimly.

Nothing is over, Noah. It's just now beginning. Pretty soon you're going to wake up and see that for yourself. When you do, you know where to find me.

These past few days Bella's words had been haunting him, making him wonder if he was a selfish bastard, a complete fool, or both. Now he was getting the uneasy feeling that she was right. His eyes were opening, but at the moment he didn't know where to find her.

By the time he reached Bella's house, Noah had failed to spot her or any sign of Casper's hoofprints in the muddy road. After a quick glance around, he headed to a garage built on the far end of the house. Her car was parked inside, so she'd clearly made it all the way home.

At the back door, he pounded loudly. “Bella? Are you in there?”

After a few moments passed with no response, he hurried to the barn. Mary Mae was dry and safe in one of the stalls, while Casper was nowhere to be seen. Noah was certain Bella would never stall one horse and leave the other in the pasture, so that meant she was still out in the storm somewhere. And the only way to find her was to saddle up and start searching.

A few minutes later, he reined the bay mare away from the barn and down a dim trail leading south. With heavy rain falling for more than an hour, there was no chance of spotting the tracks Casper had made when Bella rode away from the barn. Noah could merely guess and hope he was on the right path. But something deep in his gut told him she'd ridden to the canyon.

He'd warned her not to ride there alone. Besides the terrain being extremely rough, flash flooding could occur in a matter of minutes. But Bella didn't exactly follow his advice, he thought ruefully. In her opinion, he was overly cautious and too worried about something going wrong to let himself enjoy the pleasures of life. And perhaps he did approach everything with caution. Even loving her.

We've gone through this before, Noah, you don't love Bella. You love taking her to bed, that's all.

Then why the hell was he out here, in the middle of a violent thunderstorm, searching for her? Streaks of lightning were exploding over his head. Rain was pelting his face and turning the brim of his hat into a waterfall. He wasn't out here just because he enjoyed her warm, giving body, he thought desperately. No, Bella had become precious to him. So precious that if anything happened to her, his world would be nothing more than a black abyss.

After what seemed like an eternity, he reached the rim of the canyon and continued to travel along the edge until he found a spot he considered safe enough to descend the steep wall. But Mary Mae had other ideas and refused to take the path he'd chosen. Deciding she probably had more sense than he did about such things, he gave the mare her head and before long she found a crevice in the canyon rim wide enough for the two of them to pass through.

Patting her neck, he encouraged the courageous mare forward. “Good girl! Now see if you can get us to the bottom safely.”

* * *

A half mile on down the canyon, Bella and Casper were perched on a narrow shelf of earth. Less than three feet beneath them, churning, muddy water raced over the canyon floor, carrying tumbleweeds, broken limbs and old logs. Small willow trees and bushes of sage bent beneath the force of the current and Bella realized if the rain continued to fall at this rate, the water would rise quickly and become even more dangerous.

Earlier this afternoon, when the rain had first started, she'd donned her slicker and turned around to head for home. But the storm had intensified very quickly. She'd tried to shelter beneath a small copse of evergreens and call Jett to give him her location and assure him she was on her way home. But the weather had knocked out the signal, making her phone useless.