Heaven With You (2 page)

His eyes flashed with emotion, and his jaw tightened.  We stared at each other in a silent battle of wills until I saw the glimpse of sympathy in the depths of his eyes and I quickly looked away.  I could deal with anger, ridicule and even pity, but knowing that he cared about what happened to Reed and I made me want to break down and cry, and that was something I could not afford to do.

Stalking to the back of our truck, he lowered the tailgate and attempted to rouse Darryl.  When that didn’t work he drug him toward the gate, picked Darryl up and carried him toward our trailer. Reed and I hurried to catch up.  I couldn’t help but be impressed by his strength, and I envied his daughter. Hunter McAllister’s strength wasn’t just physical, and even though he’d suffered his own share of heartache I knew without a doubt that his daughter would never have to haul his drunken self home from a bar, never have to clean up his vomit, and she’d never have to fear his wrath.

I moved in front of McAllister, stepped up to our door and held it open for him. “His room is on the right.”

Stepping through the sea of dirty clothes scattered on the floor of Darryl’s room, Hunter McAllister dumped his burden unceremoniously onto the bed and turned to face Reed and I. His expression was grim.  I was embarrassed by the stink of body odor in the room, and I knew that he was aware of it as well. Reed and I did our best to keep the rest of the trailer clean, but we both avoided Darryl’s room.

“Thank you.”

McAllister nodded, withdrew his wallet from his back pocket, and pulled a card out.  He handed it to Reed. “If you need anything, either of you, call me.”

A lump of emotion caught in my throat, but I didn’t reveal my upset to him.  Lifting my chin, I met his mesmerizing blue gaze.

“Thanks,” I heard Reed say, and to my surprise my defiant little brother placed the card carefully in his own wallet.

“C’mon, Isabelle. You know you want it.”

I liked kissing Mike. He didn’t know it, but he was the first boy I’d ever kissed. I still couldn’t believe he’d actually wanted to go out with me.  Mike was gorgeous, popular and the quarterback of our high school football team. Girls practically fell in line at the chance to catch his attention, and out of all of them he’d chosen me.

His mouth moved over my neck, and I shivered.  One hand squeezed my breast and the other moved insistently at the button on my shorts.

“You’ll like it.  I know you will,” he whispered against my neck.

“I don’t know. I’ve never done it before.”

He laughed. “Sure you haven’t, baby. C’mon, don’t you want me?”

“I do.”

Mike unfastened the button on my shorts, unzipped them and pushed them down my legs.  It happened fast. He undid his pants and shoved me into the seat, my knee bumping the steering wheel.

“Mike, I don’t think I’m ready.”

“Don’t play games with me, Isabelle.”

“I’m not. Please—“

I heard the rip of foil and saw him unrolling a condom on himself seconds before he shoved inside of me and I screamed.

Trembling, I sat still in the passenger’s seat of his truck as he drove me home. We hadn’t spoken since it happened, and I was thankful when his truck pulled up beside the trailer.

I looked over at Mike desperate for something to assure me I hadn’t made a huge mistake.

“Don’t even think of telling anyone about this, you hear?”

I froze. For a moment, I actually thought I’d heard him wrong.  “What?”

“Get out of my truck.”

“I thought…”

“You thought I’d actually want a piece of white trash to be my girlfriend?” He laughed harshly. “You’re hot, but that’s all you got going for you, babe.”

Shoving open the door, I ran.

From a distance I heard voices, but I didn’t open my eyes.

“She won’t get up,” I heard Reed say. “The jerk she’s dating has been running his mouth at school. I think he did something to her.”

This caught my attention, breaking through the blissful haze where I’d been resting. Reed sounded worried. I hope he hadn’t called Mr. and Mrs. Foster again.  Their daughter, Amber, was Reed’s girlfriend and we imposed on them more than I was comfortable doing. I wasn’t in the mood to confess what an idiot I’d been to them, and I didn’t feel strong enough to pretend that everything was okay.

“Isabelle, can you hear me?”

My stomach dropped at the sound of his voice. McAllister’s hand touched my forehead in a paternal gesture that brought tears to my eyes. I fought back emotion, furious with Reed for calling him.

Struggling to sit up, I glared at my brother. “You called him?”

“You haven’t been to school in three days.  I didn’t know what else to do.”

I saw the anxious look on Reed’s face and felt guilty for snapping at him. “I’m sorry. I just haven’t been feeling well.”

Reed and McAllister shared a look that made me wonder what all Reed had told him. “Get up and get dressed. I’m taking you and your brother to lunch.”

Blinking, I stared at him.  Amber’s parents had taken us out to eat before, but not many times and I could see that Reed was eager at the chance to go. I looked down at my t-shirt and shorts and my hand flew to my dark hair, which was undoubtedly a mess.

“I’ll need a quick shower.”

Reed seemed relieved. McAllister smiled, and my heart skipped a beat. I was so startled by my reaction to his smile, that for a moment I simply stared at him.   Dressed in faded jeans, boots, a white t-shirt and ball cap, Hunter McAllister was dreamy. He must have been a teenager when his daughter was born. I considered that a moment, my eyes glued to him.

He cocked a brow, noting my rapt attention and I felt my cheeks flush hotly. “You okay?”

I nodded, flustered. “You don’t look like you’re working today.  We’re not keeping you from anything, are we?”

“Today’s my day off.  We’ll wait in the living room,” he told me, clapping Reed on the shoulder and ushering him out of the room.

I could tell that my brother really liked Sergeant McAllister, and I was glad that Reed felt he could trust him but I didn’t think it was a good idea to get too friendly with cops.  If McAllister found out exactly how bad things were with Darryl, he would call Social Services and Reed and I would be separated. It was bad enough that we had to constantly lie to Amber’s parents.  I could only take so much pretending.

A wave of shame washed over me when I thought of Mike, and I couldn’t believe I’d been stupid enough to think that one of the most popular boys in school would want me. I hated thinking about what he was saying to everyone at school and wished that Reed wasn’t aware of what I’d done. But he knew. I could see it in his eyes.

I’d have to be more careful in the future. We had enough problems without Reed worrying about me.  Suddenly, I felt guilty for hiding in my room for the last three days. Sure, my life sucked right now but I did not have the luxury of falling apart. Reed and I survived because the two of us stayed strong, didn’t draw attention to ourselves and worked hard to keep our bills paid.

Taking a quick shower and shampooing my hair, I dressed quickly in a pair of worn denim jeans, flip-flops and a blue t-shirt I’d bought at the second-hand shop. I pulled my long, dark hair into a ponytail, and walked out of my room.

A half an hour later McAllister and I were sitting at a picnic table at Lake Houston with a large stuffed crust pizza, breadsticks and sweet tea.  Reed was fishing off the bank with the pole that McAllister had given him.  I watched my brother turn and cast his lure into the water and felt a pang of sadness for all that he’d missed out on.  Our lives would have been much different if we’d had a dad that bought us pizza and took us fishing.  If only Mom hadn’t gone to the store that night, if only the driver hadn’t ran that red light, we might have been normal.

“You know he’s worried about you.”

I felt McAllister watching me, and I turned my attention to him and nodded. “I know.”

He raked his palm over his chiseled jaw and his brow furrowed. “Isabelle, if there’s anything you want to talk about…” He sighed, clearly out of his comfort zone with this conversation. “If you’d like to talk to a woman, I have a friend that’s a counselor.”

“I don’t need counseling Sergeant. I’m not that screwed up, but thanks anyway.”

“Your brother thinks something happened with your boyfriend.”

“I don’t have a boyfriend. He dumped me after he fucked me in his truck,” I said crudely, angry and hurt, and wanting to shock him.

To his credit I saw no disgust or judgment in McAllister’s eyes.  Instead, he leveled a matter-of-fact look my way. “Having sex with guys isn’t going to make them love you.”

“I haven’t had sex with guys! Just Mike and I thought he loved me. I was stupid. I didn’t even want to do it.” Tears burned the back of my eyes, but I’d never allow them to fall.  Just knowing that he saw my pain was enough embarrassment.

Across from me, McAllister’s eyes hardened. “Did you tell him that?” he asked softly.

At first I wasn’t sure what he meant, and then I did. “I told him no, but it was too late. I shouldn’t have led him on.”

“Isabelle, you need to talk to someone that can help you with this.”

“I don’t need help with anything! Everything is fine.” I picked up a slice of pizza dripping with cheese and bit into the savory slice. Chewing slowly, I gave myself a moment to calm down and get control.

McAllister was pissed. I looked away, fearful of his temper.

“What is this kid’s name?”

“None of your business,” I snapped. “It’s not like he raped me. You need to chill your inner superhero.”

“If that means you think I’m being too protective, I can’t help it. I’d hate for my daughter to be in this situation and have no one to help her.”

“Yeah, well your daughter would never be in this situation because she has you. Look if it makes you feel better, I’m not going to turn into a nymphomaniac because of one dumb mistake, and I won’t go home and off myself.  I really will be okay, so you don’t need to worry about me.”

“Sure, I’ll sleep better tonight knowing you’re not considering sex addiction or suicide,” he replied dryly.

I smiled. “So you do have a sense of humor, Sergeant McAllister.  I wasn’t sure.”

“I wasn’t sure you ever smiled.” His eyes caught mine. “If you change your mind about talking to someone, let me know.”

“Do you counsel many teenage girls?” I asked, blatantly flirting with him. If his gaze slid down my body or if he came back with a flirtatious remark, I’d know that all men really were corrupted.

“I only counsel my daughter.” His unwavering gaze never left mine, and his remark was honest without pretense or flirtatiousness.

Staring at him, I almost wished he’d have been less than the man that I’d known he was because now I was destined to compare every man I met with Hunter McAllister. They’d all be found lacking, but I wasn’t aware of that at the time.  Neither did I know that McAllister’s daughter, Ellie, would one day become my best friend, and Reed would fall in love with her.

I also didn’t know that one day I’d meet Hunter McAllister again, that time would eat the years between us, and the feelings I’d felt for him when I was sixteen would burn a thousand times hotter at twenty-eight.

Chapter One

12 years later

The eerie feeling of being watched was like icy fingertips sliding down my spine. Fear lifted the hairs at my nape and sent a shiver rippling through me. Scanning the crowd of children, all of whom were waiting for me to entertain them, I tried to pinpoint where the feeling was coming from but failed.

I was losing it.

“Izzy, Izzy,” the children began to chant.

Yeah, I was being watched—two-dozen children were waiting for me to do something funnier than stare at them like a moron.  Sheesh, I needed to get a grip.

Forcing a smile, I switched to autopilot and began to work my magic over the crowd. My mind traveled back in time as I went through the motions and tried to block out the sense of danger that haunted me like a dark shadow I could not outrun.

Everyone had a talent for something, and my talent was making people smile. Ironically, not much made me smile but I didn’t like to think about that.  I didn’t do very well in school, probably because I was always working and had little time for studying and homework.  My grades were barely enough to get me a diploma, and not nearly good enough to get into any college even if I’d had the money to enroll, which I didn’t.  I only had experience waitressing, and not many marketable job skills so I was limited in the kind of job that I could find.

One day while I was waiting tables a little girl, about four-years-old, accidentally popped the balloon tied to her chair.  Startled, she gasped and then began to cry.  Her flustered mother couldn’t settle her, and several customers were glancing irritably at the screaming preschooler.

 I hurried over to their table and fished out the handful of colorful balloons from my apron pocket.  Crouching down, I spoke to the distraught little girl. “Do you like mermaids?”

The little girl stared at me, maybe she was surprised that I’d spoken to her, and she stopped crying.

“I can make all kinds of animals, mermaids, dolls. Would you like to see?”

Tears still dripped down her cheeks, but she nodded.

“My name is Isabelle.  What’s your name?” I asked.

She sniffed. “Hannah.”

I glanced at Hannah’s mother, who was also watching me closely with a grateful expression.

Blowing up several balloons, I asked Hannah her favorite colors and then proceeded to make a blonde-haired mermaid, with a pink tail.  Hannah’s eyes were brown so I drew a pair of big, brown eyes onto my mermaid’s face.  I smiled. “All done.”

Her eyes widened, and she reached for the mermaid and smiled. “Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome, Hannah.”

Hannah’s mother looked at her daughter, amazed. “How many kids do you have?”

Startled, I blinked. “None.”

“That was amazing. You’re wonderful with kids. Thank you so much.”