Hearts Aflame (17 page)
“Why did you stop?”
“I do not know if you want me to touch you or not,” she admitted frankly. “I come from a family used to kissing and hugging and showing love in touching. But if you are not used to it, you will think me bold.”
“I already think you bold, wench,” he said lightly as he lay down beside her, resting his head on his palm so he could still look down at her. “God’s truth, I have never known anyone like you, who could express your love so freely, so unashamed. You make me wish it were possible to love you in return, to give you what you give me.”
Kristen closed her eyes, hoping he had not seen the regret those words caused her and, aye, pain too, that he could speak them after they had just shared hours of the most incredible loving. He didn’t have to say he couldn’t love her. He could have kept that fact to himself and let her go on hoping for a while.
She looked at him again, but her pride was stung now, prompting her to ask, “Why do you mention love?”
She saw him tense and then frown. Good. He could not hide his damaged pride as well as she had.
“I stand corrected,” he said tightly. “You have not said you love me, have you?”
“Nay, I have not. I like your body well, milord, but that is all there is between us.”
“Very well,” he sneered. “For a virgin, you do make an adequate whore.”
Kristen sucked in her breath. It was too much, this derision. And she would not accept that insult any longer, not when the reason for it no longer existed.
“Call me whore again, Saxon, and I will scratch your eyes out!” she hissed furiously.
He grinned at her anger. “’Tis a little late to be protesting what you have long admitted to.”
“Nay, I never said I was a whore. You did.”
“You never denied it.”
“You know why.”
“I do not,” he replied. “But I am most curious to know why now.”
“Then recall what you told me in this very room. You said you would rape me if I were a virgin. I wanted you, but not that way.”
He smiled at her, then suddenly he was laughing, a deep, hearty sound. “God’s breath, wench, you took seriously something I said in anger?”
Kristen glared at him, finding his humor ill-placed. “Are you saying you would not have raped me had you known I was a virgin?”
“Nay, for in truth, had you fought me tonight, I would have taken you anyway and you would have called it rape, while I would call it my right.”
“I do not mean that, Saxon,” she replied impatiently.
“I know you feel you have the right to use me as you will, and I may contest that another time, but not now. What I—”
“Oh, you will, will you?”
“Let me finish! Would you have taken me apurpose, in revenge?”
“Nay, Kristen, not that,” he said softly, and his hand lifted to her face to smooth the frown on her brow. “Is that what you feared?”
“Aye,” she muttered.
He smiled at her tone. “We are well met in mistaking each other. I wanted you, but would not touch you because I thought you a whore.”
“And a Viking,” she reminded him.
“Aye, but that seemed not to matter the more I saw you. ’Twas thinking you were so free with your body that disgusted me.”
She giggled then, and caught his hand, pressing it to her cheek. “Do I still disgust you, now that I have been so free with my body?”
He knew she was teasing him, but he was not used to this kind of teasing. He lay down on his back, pulling away from her.
“Who are you, Kristen?”
“That question concerns you overmuch, I think.”
“The gown was yours? I was correct in that?”
“Aye, ’tis mine.” She sighed.
“Since you cannot have had a husband, I must assume your family is rich.”
“My father is. Will you ransom me, then?”
“Nay,” he said curtly, drawn to his side to look at her again.
She reacted to his annoyance in kind. “A wise decision, milord, for he would make you marry me.”
“The devil, you say! Marry a Viking maid?”
“You need not make it sound a fate worse than death,” she retorted.
“For me it would be!”
“Ohh!” she gasped. “For that slur, Saxon, I will see you do marry me!”
“You are mad!”
“Am I? Well, I am also the daughter of the man who will kill you when he comes to find me!”
She regretted saying that the moment it was out, but more so when Royce leaned up to grip her shoulders in anger. God’s teeth, how they sliced each other with petty spite. What was wrong with her tonight to make her tongue so wickedly loose?
“Are you saying more Vikings will come here, Kristen?”
She groaned inwardly at the coldness in his tone. She had done that. And he had been in such a pleasant mood only moments ago. So had she, for that matter.
She decided to be truthful. “Nay, Royce, ’tis unlikely. My father would not have approved of the men coming here, so they did not tell him. He is a merchant. He thinks his ship sailed to the market towns, for ’twas a trading voyage. He has no way of knowing they sailed here first.”
“Then why did you say what you did?”
She started to smile, but thought better of it. “You should heed your own advice and not take seriously what I say in anger.”
He grunted at that, but he latched on to what she had revealed. “You say the ship was his? Then was it your brother Selig who led the men?”
“I did not tell you he was my brother,” she said suspiciously. “How did you know?”
“Meghan told me. But why would you not want me to know?”
“I thought you would think it unusual if you knew my
brother had been with me on the ship, when you thought I was the ship’s whore.”
“I did think it unusual, but I do not know the morals of your people.”
Kristen didn’t know why she should take offense at that, but she did. “We have very similar morals to your own, milord.”
He let her go, but he was still frowning. “Why were you on that ship?”
“Why do you have so many questions about me?” she countered stiffly.
“Is my curiosity so unnatural? Or do you have something more to hide?”
She gave a snort at his reference to the things she had kept from him, for he knew why she had felt forced to deceive him about herself. It was reasonable that he should be curious about her, especially now. But did she want to appease his curiosity? Nay. Why should she? It was not necessary for him to know everything about her, and would only give him an advantage he did not deserve.
But she did not want to appear to be hiding something from him, either. What would he think if he knew that one of the reasons she had sailed with her brother was to find a husband? She had found this man instead, and he would never marry her.
“My reasons for being on the ship are many, but not important,” she said quietly. “The truth is, I sailed without permission, hiding myself in the cargo well until the ship was far from home.”
“You wanted to go pirating?” he asked incredulously.
“Do not be absurd, milord,” she replied with disgust. “I told you no one knew the ship was coming here, least of all myself. My brother was furious when he discovered me. He would have taken me back, except he
feared I would tell our father what he and his friends meant to do.”
“You were naturally shocked when you learned they would sack a Saxon church.”
That was pure sarcasm and it infuriated her. “You are Christian, and to you the sacking of a holy place is an abomination. But do not expect men of different beliefs to hold your holy places sacred. These were men who had never raided before, but their fathers had, and they were raised with stories of the wealth that was there for the taking in foreign lands. They knew the Danes coveted your land, that they mean to have all of this island eventually. They felt this was their only chance at easy wealth before the Danes laid claim to it all.”
“If your brother told you all of that, am I to suppose you think that excuses what he planned? Steal from the Christians before the Danes do. The Christians will lose all anyway, so what does it matter who kills and robs them?”
His bitterness stung, for it mirrored her own when she had been told. “My brother would tell me naught of what they planned, because…well, it matters not why. ’Twas Thorolf who told me what I told you, and this only after we were chained in the yard below. I am not defending them. I simply understand their motives.”
“One small thing was not taken into account,” he noted coldly. “We Saxons will not be giving up what is ours to the Danes, or anyone else.”
“Aye, so half of these Vikings found out,” she agreed just as coldly.
“Your brother died through his own design, Kristen.”
“Does that make it easier to bear?” she cried.
“Nay, I suppose not.”
They both fell silent, Kristen because she was having trouble coping with her renewed grief in front of Royce. She would have liked comfort from him, and that sur
prised her. But she knew he would never give her comfort for the death of someone he despised.
She moved to her side of the bed and sat up. His hand shot out and caught her wrist.
“What are you doing?” he asked, not sharply but more than just curiously.
She glanced down at the fingers that held her, then at him. “I would return to my chamber.”
“Why?”
“I am done with answering questions, milord.” She sighed. “I am tired.”
“Then go to sleep.”
“You want me to stay here with you?”
He would not speak the words, but pulling her back down on the bed was answer enough. She had not expected it.
She turned her head toward him as his arm slipped across her waist to draw her closer. “You have a wall of weapons here. You do not fear I will kill you while you sleep?”
“Would you?”
“Nay, but I could escape,” she said. “You have not locked your door.”
He chuckled. “If that were your plan, then you would not bring it to my attention. Rest easy, Kristen. I have not lost my mind. I have a man on guard in the hall.”
She gasped. “You knew all along you would make love to me!”
“Nay, but I planned for all the possibilities. Now be quiet if ’tis sleep you want.”
She clamped her mouth shut, feeling chagrined. But not for long. He wanted her to spend the night with him. He had used her well, yet still he wanted her near. That thought made her feel very good indeed, so good that she fell asleep with a smile on her lips, and Royce’s arm still holding her close.
K
risten watched Royce while he slept. It was a luxury to lie there and do so, for she should have risen already. Eda usually woke her much earlier than this. The older woman would already be working below. And Kristen was not so naive as to think that just because she had shared the lord’s bed, she would not have to work anymore.
She sighed, hating to leave him, but she wanted to fetch her clothes from the bathing room before more than just the servants were about in the hall. She slipped off the bed and quickly put on the coarse gray robe. She picked up the green gown from the floor and held it to her cheek for a moment. Then she sighed again and laid it carefully over Royce’s coffer.
She knew he would not let her wear her own gowns. They had made love and likely would again, but it didn’t mean the same thing to him that it did to her. To him she was still just a slave, and slaves were not adorned in finery.
“Kristen?”
She turned with her hand on the door to see she had woken him somehow. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, hair tousled, as naked as he had been last night, and looking sleepy. In fact he yawned.
Kristen couldn’t help the tender smile that came to her lips. “Aye, milord?”
“You would have left without waking me?”
“I did not think you would want to rise this early,” she replied.
“Come here.”
She hesitated, but only for a moment. If he wanted to make love again, she could find no objection. She could not think of a more pleasant way to start the day.
When she stood before him, he reached for her hands and held them lightly in his. It was not desire she read in his eyes as he looked up at her.
“Where were you going?”
“Below to work.”
“Then you have forgotten something.”
“Nay, I—”
She stopped, her eyes widening, for he could mean only one thing. And he saw that she comprehended now.
“Put them on, Kristen.”
She tried to pull away from him, but his grip tightened, holding fast to her. She shook her head in disbelief.
“You will still make me wear that chain after…How can you be so unfeeling?”
“I know you hate it and I am sorry for that,” he replied softly. “If there were another way to ensure you could not escape, then I would use it instead, but there is not. Too many Wessex slaves have escaped, running north to the Danes to join their army. I know that you would do the same, to try to reach your home.”
She was not hearing the words of explanation. “The men would, aye, but I would not go without them.”
“With your freedom, you could help them to theirs.”
“If I told you I would not, that I would not leave your hall?”
“You cannot expect me to believe you.”
“Why not?” she demanded angrily. “You would believe me that I would not kill you, but you will not believe that I will not escape?”
“Aye, you have it right!” His voice rose in impatience. “I can stop any attempt you make against me, but I will not take the chance of losing you!”
“You do not take this precaution with your other slaves!” she snapped.
“They are born slaves, descendants of the Britons that we conquered centuries ago. Wyndhurst is their home. But you have been captured, losing the freedom you once knew. You have no reason to want to stay here.”
Didn’t she? God’s teeth, what a fool he was not to see that she did not want to leave him. But he was more of a fool if he thought she would shrug and accept his shackles now, and blithely accept him too.
A coldness entered her eyes, a chill that he had never seen before. “Very well, milord. You can let go of me. I will wear your chain.”
He released her, but he frowned as he watched her walk stiffly to the table and pick up the shackles, then bend over to snap them on. “You can forgo the other chain, Kristen, if you will promise not to attack my cousin again.”
