Heartland (4 page)

What on earth had Megan been thinking of? Lara wondered, then groaned inwardly. That was an easy one. Romantic that she was, Megan had been plotting, hoping that something exactly like this would happen. Lara had never told her the whole story behind her hatred of Steven. Apparently she'd read something into Lara's hostile attitude toward their neighbor and guessed that it hid some other passion.

“We are hardly alone at the farm,” she snapped. “Logan is there every day, and we have a whole crew around. So, if that's the only thing that's brought you by, you can consider your duty discharged.” Somehow the remark came out sounding more disgruntled than she would have liked. Steven grinned.

“That's not the only reason I'm coming by, as you perfectly well know. Lara, can't we go to the park, sit down under a tree and talk this through? I feel ridiculous having this conversation in the middle of a sidewalk. It's hotter than blazes out here, and you look as though you're ready to bolt at the first opportunity.”

“I am. I think we've already said quite enough for one day.”

He rolled his eyes. “Obviously reasoning with you is the wrong tactic.” He grabbed her hand and started off down the street. Lara had to run to keep up with him.

“I'm not going with you,” she muttered, even though she knew how ridiculous the protest sounded when she quite clearly was going with him. He headed straight for a hundred-year-old oak tree in the park, its massive trunk the perfect backrest, its leaves providing welcome shade.

“Sit.”

“I'm not some puppy you can order around,” she replied mutinously.

He shrugged. “Fine. I'll sit.”

He lowered himself to the ground, leaned back against the tree and crossed his outstretched legs at the ankle. Since he was still holding tight to her hand, Lara was left bending awkwardly over him. She scowled at him, then sat, staying as far away as his firm handclasp would allow.

“Talk,” he suggested.

Her jaw set stubbornly. “You're the one who wanted to talk.”

“Okay. I'll put the words in your mouth. Correct me if I get any of this wrong. You're still upset because of what happened eleven years ago. You're convinced that I betrayed you.”

“You did.”

“I didn't.” When she started to protest, he held up his hand. “I can see why you'd think that, but I did what I thought was best.”

“Oh, for heaven's sakes, Steven,” she said impatiently. “You keep saying that. How could it have been for the best to walk out on me without a word? I was in love with you. We were planning a future together. Or was I the only one doing the planning?”

He sucked in a deep breath and rubbed a thumb across her knuckles. When he finally answered, his voice was so quiet she had to lean closer to hear it. “No, Lara, you weren't the only one making plans. I wanted to be with you more than I'd ever wanted anything in my life.”

Tears sprang to her eyes. Her heart felt as though it were breaking all over again. “Then why didn't you stay?”

He sighed heavily, and his expression grew thoughtful as Lara waited for his response. “There were so many reasons, starting with the fact that I wasn't much of a prize back then.”

“I thought you were.”

“You saw what I wanted you to see. Did you know, for instance, how much I hated my father? It was the only thing that drove me. I wanted to prove I wasn't like him.” He gave a rueful laugh. “Instead, I found myself doing exactly the things he'd always done. I put my career above everything else. It was just beginning to go places when we met. I had to travel a lot.”

“I knew all that. It didn't matter.”

“It did to me. You were only eighteen. Too young to be making a commitment for a lifetime. I was nearly ten years older, and even I wasn't mature enough to handle things right. I'd already had one marriage fail because of my own inability to handle the responsibility of an honest, full-time relationship. I wasn't about to do the same thing to you. Besides, until I showed up, you'd been dreaming about going to college and being a doctor. I wanted you so much, I kept forgetting about that. Then your parents reminded me.”

She shook her head. “I can't believe my parents would interfere. They knew how much I loved you. They wouldn't have asked you to leave.”

“No, of course not. They just warned me to stop and think very seriously about what I was doing. They pointed out how much I was expecting you to give up. They were afraid that I'd never settle down entirely, that you'd wake up one day and realize I'd made you miss out on the only thing that had ever mattered to you. You would have resented me terribly for that.”

His gaze lifted and lingered on her face. “Remember that last night at the stream?”

“As if it were yesterday,” she admitted in a choked voice. “You held me and made love to me and you...you cried.” There was a note of surprise in her voice at the end. She had forgotten that, forgotten the shock of seeing tears in the eyes of a man she'd thought stronger than anything. “You knew what you meant to do then, didn't you?”

“I knew,” he admitted. “And it hurt.”

There were tears in his eyes now as he asked, “Do you remember what we talked about?”

She stared at him in confusion. All she recalled was being enfolded in his arms, the wild excitement that raced through her at his touch.

“You were so excited about your classes,” he prompted, and it began coming back to her. “Your grades had come in. Straight A's. You were absolutely certain you'd be able to get through undergraduate school in less than four years. If you kept getting grades like that there was no question you'd be accepted to medical school.”

Lara watched him with a puzzled frown. “You seemed so excited for me.”

“I was, but I also knew right then that to continue our relationship would be wrong. I'd been planning to ask you that night to leave town with me, but when I saw how bright your future was, how much you wanted that dream, I couldn't ask you to go. I had to let you have your chance.”

Lara swallowed hard. “And that's why you didn't say anything? Couldn't you have given me a choice?”

A faint smile pulled at his lips. “I knew you too well, love. I knew how you'd choose. You were impetuous and in love. You'd have gone with me.”

“Of course, I would have.”

“And it would have been wrong.”

“No,” she protested, even as she realized the depth of his sacrifice. “At least I would have had you. Instead, you left, then Papa died. Not so long afterward, Mama died, too. I had to give up any thought of medical school. So, you see, it was all for nothing.”

“There was no way to know that that night. I thought I was giving you your dream. It wasn't until I came back three years ago that I discovered it hadn't come true after all. By then your hatred of me ran so deep I didn't think there was any way to change it.”

“Why did you come back?”

“For the reason I gave you the other day. I couldn't stay away any longer. If you'd been happy, if you'd been married, I told myself I wouldn't stay, but you weren't. Even if you wouldn't let me back into your life, I felt I had to be here to watch out for you.”

“But you never said anything before now. Why?”

“Fear, I suppose. I could see how you'd reacted to my being back, especially since I'd practically forced you to sell me that land. I didn't know how to approach you to change that. Then I was gone a lot. I had a lot of business interests in other states. And in those years I'd been away, I'd had a lot of experience with engineering. I'd been in Mexico during the earthquake. I'd helped with the rescue operation. When similar disasters took place in other countries, I was asked to come and help. I always went. It was easier than staying here and seeing the look of betrayal in your eyes.”

Lara drew her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. She looked at Steven, saw the haunted expression in his eyes. “Could you leave me alone now? I need to think.”

Thankfully this time he didn't fight her. He nodded and got to his feet. “I meant every word I said, Lara. You were the most important thing in my life once. You still are. All I'm asking for is a chance to prove that to you.”

Then before she could guess his intention, he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers, a touch of silk and fire that caressed her body and set it aflame. As he started to draw away, her fingers threaded through the hair at the nape of his neck. Their eyes met, questioned and knew. Their breath mingled during that instant of separation, and then she drew him to her again, as incapable of denying herself this moment as he had been. The unexpected, gently inquisitive kiss confirmed what she'd already guessed: the passion had never died, it had merely hidden in wait for his return.

* * *

When Steven had gone, she put her head down on her knees and let the tears fall freely. So many years lost, time that could never be replaced. His explanation was plausible enough, but did she dare trust a man to whom words came so easily? There was more than just his precipitous departure to answer for. There was the land.

In the past Steven had used the misfortune of many of the local farmers to gain control of hundreds and hundreds of acres. He'd tried to get her family's land as well, and she wasn't at all sure even now that she hadn't once been a pawn in his game.

All he wanted was a chance, he'd said. But giving it to him would be a risk, a dangerous one.

Then she thought of all the years of loneliness that had vanished with a single touch from his gentle fingers and of the desire that had raged at a single kiss. She could fight him, but her own body acted as a weapon against her, making her doubt that she had a prayer of winning.

“I'll give you your chance, Steven,” she murmured finally. “But I'll be one formidable enemy if you betray me again.”

The rest of the day passed in a haze. She rejoined the others. She ate, though she couldn't have said what. She played games with the girls, unaware of who won. She even danced just once with Steven, her body turning to liquid fire in his arms, though she remembered that in every detail. The sensation both awed and frightened her, and after that dance she ran from it.

At home the girls were so excited they knocked an entire bottle of bubble bath into the tub while Lara was in the bedroom. When she got back, bubbles had overflowed and were creeping toward the hallway. Kelly couldn't find her favorite bear. Jennifer refused to wear her pink pajamas and insisted on wearing the yellow ones Lara had taken downstairs to wash. Three glasses of water each were necessary before they were under the covers. By the time they had settled down for their bedtime story, Lara felt as if she'd plowed an entire field by herself...by hand.

“Aunt Lara,” Jennifer said sleepily when the story had ended and Kelly's eyes were shut, her thumb tucked in her mouth.

“What, sweetie?”

“Is Mr. Drake your boyfriend?”

The Velveteen Rabbit
fell from Lara's hands. “Why on earth would you ask that?”

“I saw him kiss you. That must mean he likes you, right?”

“Sometimes kisses are just between friends.”

“Oh.”

Lara regarded her curiously. “You sound disappointed.”

“I wanted him to like you, the way Daddy likes Mommy.”

“Why?”

She snuggled close to Lara and wrapped her arms around her waist. When she spoke, her voice was sad, and her words were muffled against Lara's chest. “So you won't be lonely when me and Kelly go away.”

Lara sighed as tears sprang into her eyes. She rocked Jennifer in her arms. “Oh, baby, that's a long time from now. We have the whole summer together.”

But despite her brave words, the end of summer seemed closer than ever.

Chapter Four

“J
ennifer Susan Danvers, you get back over here right this instant,” Lara called out as Jennifer and Kelly bounded ahead of her to the edge of the woods. “And bring your sister with you.”

“Why, Aunt Lara? I want to go to the stream.”

“I've told you why. It's not on our land.”

“But we went before, and Mr. Drake said it's okay. You heard him.” She faced Lara with indignation. “He invited us.”

Blast the man! “And I don't want you talking to Mr. Drake, either,” she grumbled, still uneasy about her decision the previous day to give Steven a chance. If she was wrong about him she didn't want Jennifer and Kelly getting hurt. They were already starting to idolize him.

“Aunt Lara!” Jennifer was clearly exasperated, her lower lip sticking out in a pout. Kelly was clinging to her sister's hand, her own face scrunching up in readiness for the first sign that a good noisy response was called for.

“You heard me. There are plenty of places to play on this farm without wandering off to that stream.”

But the stream was the best place. Even she had to admit that. Pink stained her cheeks as she recalled the nights she'd spent there in Steven's arms. He'd brought the memory of those nights crashing back into her consciousness yesterday with that bold, yet tender kiss.

There had been that last glorious night when passion had soared without restraint, undimmed for her by the knowledge that these would be their final hours together. But what she remembered most was the first time they'd lain together on the banks of the stream.

A smile played about her lips at the memory. It had been the Fourth of July. She had been working in the fields, and she was hot and tired and sticky, streaks of dirt covering her from head to toe. Expecting to meet Steven at the barbecue in town, she had come to the stream for a quick swim and found him there waiting for her. A blanket had been spread on the grass, champagne was chilling in a bucket, and a bouquet of wildflowers had been tucked into a crystal vase.

“Is all this for me?” she'd asked, staring into his eyes in amazement.

“Who else would it be for?” he'd teased.

“But we were supposed to meet in town. How did you know I'd come?”

“You think you're so daring and unconventional, but in some ways, you're very predictable. On the days you've been working in the fields, you always come here for a swim before going to the house.”

She'd wrinkled her nose at him. “I can see I'm going to have to start varying my patterns, or you'll grow entirely too sure of yourself.”

“Never with you,” he'd said, a smoldering heat replacing the tenderness and laughter in his eyes. “Never.”

Lara had suddenly been struck by uncertainty. She had had a feeling right then that this would be a night like no other. Steven had held out his hand and led her, fully clothed, into the stream. Then, when the cool water swirled around them, he had washed the dirt from her face, brushed the wet tendrils of hair back from her cheeks and gently kissed her. Her arms had slid around his shoulders, her legs winding around his for balance. She had felt his body harden at once and, inexperienced as she was, had known a woman's satisfaction. There was an odd sense that the rebel had been tamed by her touch, that he was hers. Uncertainty had fled.

“Don't, Lara,” he'd pleaded in a thick voice. “I want you so much, I won't be able to stop.”

Her gaze steady, she'd said with disconcerting candor, “I don't want you to.”

Steven had made a token protest. “Sweetheart, your parents and everyone will be expecting us in town. I didn't plan all this to seduce you.”

She'd grinned at him. “Then I'll just have to seduce you, won't I?”

And she had, experimenting with touches, exploring with kisses, until his skin was on fire beneath her lips. Her cheeks burned as she recalled her reckless, wanton behavior.

With a final groan of submission he had carried her to the shore, placed her gently on the blanket and peeled away the wet clothes. Then he had made love to her, taking her again and again as dusk fell and shrouded them in the privacy of shadows. She had been a thirst he couldn't seem to quench. He had been a love whose nuances she never tired of discovering. Lying on their backs they'd been able to see the bright twinkle of the distant fireworks. It had been a moment of incredible beauty and perfection. Her heart had seemed filled to overflowing with sheer happiness.

Propped on an elbow he had gazed down at her, his expression gentle. “Are you sorry you missed the celebration?”

“Don't you know,” she had said, her fingers against his lips, “the celebration was here.”

It had been a timeless night, so filled with joy and laughter and excitement that she'd been certain it could never be matched. Only as the months wore on had she realized that each time in Steven's embrace was destined to be better than the last, shaded by the discovery of new emotions and the deepening of old ones.

Lara sighed at last as the vivid images began to fade. She glanced up and saw that Jennifer and Kelly had noticed her daydreaming and used her distraction to slip out of sight. She had no doubt at all they were headed straight for the stream. Jennifer had inherited the Danvers' stubbornness in full measure. Lara figured it would probably be to her benefit in the long run, but there were times like now when the child's single-mindedness thoroughly exasperated her.

“Jennifer, Kelly, I'm warning you,” she shouted, starting after them. “Get back here right this minute, or you'll spend the rest of the day in your room.”

Just then Jennifer burst through the stand of trees at the top of the knoll. Her clothes were smudged with dirt, and there were tears trickling down her cheeks. Even from this distance, Lara could see that her eyes were wide with fright. Her own heart rose to her throat.

“Aunt Lara, Aunt Lara, come quick!”

Her gaze scanned the edge of the woods, but she saw no sign of Kelly. “Jennifer, where's your sister? What's wrong?”

“S-s-something happened to K-K-Kelly.” The words came out in a pitiful, scared tone.

Oh, dear God! The stream. It wasn't deep, but if Kelly had fallen and hurt her head, she could easily drown. Lara's heart slammed against her ribs. She set off at a run. “What happened? Did she fall in the water?”

“No-o-o.”

Jennifer sobbed harder. Lara knelt in front of her and gathered the terrified child in her arms. “Honey, tell me, please. What happened?”

“S-s-she fell down, and I c-c-can't find her.”

Lara choked back her own mounting hysteria. “What do you mean you can't find her? Is she hiding? Maybe she's just playing a game with you.”

Jennifer shook her head. “She went in the ground, in a hole.”

A terrible dawning apprehension swept through Lara, sending her pulse racing and a cold shiver of dread down her spine. “Oh, dear God.” Spoken aloud this time, the words came out as a soft moan. “Show me where, Jennifer.”

She picked Jennifer up in her arms and ran, stumbling, her arms aching under the child's weight. Despite her terror, she forced herself to speak calmly.

“Where were you? Show me exactly where you were the last time you saw her.”

“Over there, Aunt Lara. We were right over there. I only let go of her hand for a minute. I swear it.”

“Shh, baby. It's okay.” She buried her face in Jennifer's hair and tried to soothe her. “Shh. We're going to get her.”

But when they reached the old well, there was no sign of Kelly. They could hear only faint cries from a long way down. For a moment control fled and Lara panicked. Images of Kelly trapped in darkness, far from her reach made her sick.

Dear heaven, Lara prayed. Kelly can't die, not this way. Please, God, keep her safe.

The prayers steadied her. She peered down into the darkness and saw nothing.

“Kelly, sweetheart, Aunt Lara's here. Don't worry, baby, we'll get you out.”

She studied the opening in the ground and wondered if she might not fit, then dismissed an inexpert rescue attempt as foolish. She had no way of knowing how far down Kelly was. She might even endanger her more by doing the wrong thing, and if she became trapped, as well, it certainly wouldn't do Kelly any good. There was no time for hesitation. She had to have help, and the nearest help was Steven. She would have to put her trust in him.

Taking a deep breath, she took hold of Jennifer's arms and said softly, “I want you to run to Mr. Drake's house as fast as you can. Can you do that for me? Tell him what's happened, and ask him to come quickly. I'll stay here with Kelly.”

Tears streamed from Jennifer's frightened eyes. “I want to stay with you. I'm so-o-o s-s-scared, Aunt Lara.”

“I'm scared, too, but it's going to be okay,” she said with quiet conviction. She smoothed Jennifer's hair back from her face. “Listen. You can hear Kelly down there. She's just fine. You get Mr. Drake. He'll know what to do to get her out.”

As soon as Jennifer had gone, Lara lay facedown flat on the ground and called down to Kelly, talking to her, crooning songs, listening for any sound that would tell her that her baby was okay.

She was like that when Steven arrived. She took one look at him, and the tears she'd been holding back began to fall. She flew into his arms seeking the comfort she knew she would find there. Pressed tightly against the warmth of his chest, she felt his strength seep into her. For the first time since he'd come charging back into her life, she was desperately grateful to see him.

* * *

The sight of Lara lying in the mud singing halting lullabies almost tore Steven's heart in two.

When Jennifer had arrived on his doorstep with tears streaming down her face, he'd had trouble understanding her garbled story. It was only when he found Lara that he realized in full what had happened. The poor woman must be scared out of her wits, though even through her tears the look she cast at him was every bit as strong and defiant as the look she'd worn when he'd first stumbled across them at the stream. There had been plenty of times when that streak of defiance had incensed him, but today he was grateful for it.

When she moved into his embrace, he felt her trembling for the first time in years. He realized then with absolute certainty that the hardness she'd been feigning covered deep emotions. Despite anger, despite denials, she still loved him. Thank God!

He knew what it had probably cost her not only to admit her need, but to turn to him. Her vulnerability made his heart leap, and a surge of fierce protectiveness washed through him. He had to bring Kelly safely back to her. He couldn't let her down, not if they were ever to have the future he wanted.

But as much as he wanted to hold her and comfort her, he knew if he was to succeed, there was no time to waste.

“How's she doing?” he asked in a level, quiet voice, wiping away the tears on her cheeks.

“She's crying.” Lara's voice was filled with dismay.

“That's a good sign,” he reassured her. “It tells us she's still okay. I left Jennifer with my housekeeper, and I've called for some help. As soon as they get here, we'll see what we can do about getting her out.”

“Can't you just drop down a rope of something?”

“I think she's probably too young to know what to do. It might only make things worse. We're better off if she stays fairly still until we know what kind of ground we have down there.”

“Steven, I was counting on you. Why can't you do something now? We can't just leave her down there all alone.” He saw the frustration written on her face, heard the rage of helplessness in her raised voice.

He led her away from the well. “There's no point in letting Kelly hear you. You'll frighten her.”

Lara swallowed hard. He cupped her chin in his hand and forced her to meet his gaze. “Sweetheart, I know how you feel. Believe me, I do. Nothing is worse than waiting. I promise you as soon as we get some equipment, we'll go in after her. But if we don't do this right, the ground could cave in.”

A visible shudder rippled through Lara at the horrible possibility he'd evoked, and instinctively Steven ran his hand down her back in a soothing gesture. “Don't worry, Lara. That's not going to happen. We'll get her out. I promise.”

“I have to call Tommy. He has to know.” She looked terrified by the prospect of making that call, her eyes huge and luminous in her pale face.

“Don't you want to wait a few minutes and see if we can't get her out right away?” Steven suggested.

“Do you think it will happen quickly?”

“No promises, but I hope so.”

But it didn't.

The afternoon turned into an eternity. Logan was the first to arrive, giving her hand a sympathetic squeeze before turning to Steven for instructions. When the men from town arrived, they conferred with Steven, all but shutting Lara out of the discussion. To her fury she was drawn away from the edge of the well by the volunteer fire chief's wife. A cup of coffee was placed in her hands.

“Drink this,” Terry Simmons said in her naturally gruff voice, her manner brisk but somehow comforting. “You're freezing. We can't have you going into shock on us. Kelly needs you.”

Lara's gaze flew to the well, then sought out Steven. He gave her a reassuring smile that steadied her for the moment, then turned back to the discussion. A measuring device was lowered carefully into the well, and the conversation became more heated. From the occasional bits she could hear, Lara guessed they were arguing about the next step. Steven apparently prevailed, because he nodded in satisfaction, and the men began working.

It seemed to take forever before he finally left them and came to her. She searched his face for some sign of hope, but his expression was grim.

“It's not going the way you hoped, is it?”