Heart of the Hunter (34 page)

“Do you know where we are?” I said.

He nodded. “We’re in the Mojave Desert.”

It was hot. Very hot.

“There’s a diner up ahead. They’ve got air conditioning. We can go there and talk.”

“All right,” I said. All I wanted was the air conditioning.

We parked outside the diner and went inside. He led me to a booth and despite the desperation of our situation, it felt good to be with him. I felt he knew exactly what to do, where to go, what to say. I didn’t have to think. That sort of certainty was what I needed. If he’d shown any weakness, I wouldn’t have been able to handle it.

“How did they find us?” I said, when we were seated.

“They didn’t know you were there. How many henchmen does Los Lobos have?”

“I don’t know. Maybe a hundred.”

“They would have spanned out. They knew you wouldn’t be able to get far without help.”

“Now they know I have help.”

“Yes, you do,” he said, and I could have cried when he said that. If it wasn’t for him, I’d already be back at Wolf’s mansion, suffering God knows what torture.

A waitress came to us with menus. Jackson ordered two ice waters and two cups of coffee.

“Jackson,” I said. “If you want to back out, I won’t hold you to any of this. You did what I asked. You got me away from Nevada. They won’t find me here so easily.”

He shook his head. “I already told you, we’re together now, Faith. There’s no backing out on that.”

“If they find you, they’ll kill you.”

He nodded. “Yes, they will.”

“So why don’t you get out now, while you still can? There’s no sense in both of us being in danger.”

“Stop it,” he said. “You know it’s too late for that. I told you I’d give you a life for a life. I meant it.”

“What does that even mean?”

“My father died a few days ago,” he said, looking down at the table.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s all right. He lived by the sword and he died by it.”

“It must be difficult for you.”

“What’s difficult is that I’m his only son. His only child.”

“I see.”

“If I die, his line dies. I don’t want that to happen.”

“Well, putting yourself in danger to protect me isn’t going to help the situation.”

“But you’re going to give me what I need to protect the future, Faith.”

“You mean?” My breath caught in my throat.

“Yes. You’re going to give me a child, Faith. That’s what I meant when I said I’d take
everything
you had to give.”

“A child?”

“Yes.”

“How can we? In this situation?”

“You leave the situation to me. I’ll take care of Los Lobos. That’s what I can offer.”

“And I’ll give you a baby?”

“That’s the deal.”

I didn’t know what to say. I was dumbfounded. He was so certain of what he wanted. I’d never heard anything like it.

“A life for a life,” I said. “That’s what you meant?”

“Yes, it is.”

“How do you know I’m the woman you want to have a child with.”

He smiled. “Call it a hunch.”

Tears rose to my eyes and I struggled to keep them back. It must have been the shock. I didn’t know if I was delighted or terrified by what he was saying.

“You could have had any number of women give you a baby. I’m sure they’re lining up for you wherever you live. You didn’t need to pick one that was being hunted down by the most dangerous gang in all of Nevada.”

“I wanted
you
.”

“It doesn’t make any sense. If you wanted a child, you should have chosen someone safer.”

“I choose
you
. I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life.”

I looked at him, looked into his eyes, trying to read their meaning. What was he saying to me? Was he just telling me what he thought I needed to hear? Was I just hearing what I wanted to hear to shield myself from this terrible situation? I didn’t want to be a fool. I didn’t want to be naive.

The waitress returned with our drinks.

“Are you ready to order?” she said.

Jackson looked at me. “You must be starving.”

“I am,” I said. I turned to the waitress. “Could I get the chili with a side of toast, a side of bacon, and a caesar salad.”

She looked over my thin frame, surprised I wanted to eat so much. “You want anchovies on the salad?”

I shook my head.

Jackson smiled. “Good girl,” he said, impressed I was willing to eat my fill in front of him. “I’ll have the steak and eggs, the steak medium, the eggs over easy.”

“Toast with that?”

“Toast and steak sauce.”

“Coming right up,” the waitress said and left.

When she was gone, I looked right at Jackson. I was still reeling from what he’d said.

“You want me to have your baby?” I said again, incredulously.

He laughed. “That’s just the beginning.”

“How can that be just the beginning? What more could there possibly be?”

“You’ll see,” he said, giving me a sly wink. “You promised me
everything
, Faith. I intend to collect.”

“I’ll bet,” I said, my heart pounding.

The truth was, whatever he wanted from me, I was willing to give it. I wanted him to want me. I wanted to belong to him.

“And in return, I’ll give you the safety I promised.”

He looked at me meaningfully and in that terrible moment I realized what was going to happen. It wasn’t going to be a happy ending. He would go back to Los Lobos, bring the fight to them, and die in the process. He would give me a baby, but he wouldn’t be around to raise it with me.

He smiled solemnly at me.

My eyes filled with tears.

“You don’t have to go back there,” I said.

He shook his head.

“It’s the only way.”

“No, it’s not. We have options. We could run together.”

He let out a mirthless laugh.

I didn’t feel like laughing.

“We can’t run, Faith. I’m not built that way.”

I shook my head. It was like a cruel trick of fate. Here I was, sitting with a man who’d just told me he wanted me to give him a child, and in the same breath, he was telling me he wouldn’t be around to see it.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I’m so sorry for all of this.”

That was all I could say. I’d dragged him into this situation, and now he was going to have to deal with it. He was going to throw his life at it, and it was all my fault. I’d been so desperate for help I hadn’t factored this into my thinking. I hadn’t realized the cost. I hadn’t thought of what the man who helped me would have to give up to buy my safety.

Los Lobos. They’d stop at nothing. Jackson knew it. I realized he must have known it the moment he set eyes on me back at the motel. He’d made up his mind back then. He’d said as much. A life for a life. Had he wanted me that badly all along? Had he wanted to fuck me so badly he’d get himself killed for it? Had he known back then that he wanted me to be the mother of his child?

It made my head spin.

“Don’t apologize,” he said. “I’m glad all this happened.”

There was a look of resignation in his eyes, as if he’d always known the world would deal him a hand like this. There was also a steely strength in that look. I wanted desperately to believe that strength was enough to get him through this alive.

“I always wanted a girl like you, Faith. I didn’t even know it until that day we met in Reno. Ever since then, life hasn’t been the same for me. Now that I have you, I realize you’re what I’ve been searching for all these years.”

“Well, you’ve got me now, Jackson.”

“I do, but it’s a cruel victory. I have to leave you behind so soon.”

My eyes widened. I couldn’t bear it. He had to change his plan. He couldn’t leave me. I wouldn’t allow it.

“You don’t have to leave.”

“Yes. I do. Wolf Staten. Los Lobos. They’ll only get stronger. They’ll hunt us down like animals. The sooner I bring the fight to them, the better.”

“No,” I stammered. “Don’t do it.”

He shook his head. “I have to keep up my end of the bargain. I have to make you safe. That’s not going to happen unless I make it happen.”

“I’m begging you not to go back.”

“Wolf’s the leader of Los Lobos. I stole his woman. That doesn’t come without consequences.”

I was crying. I shook my head. Los Lobos had over a hundred members. They had chapters all around Reno.

“If you leave, I’ll never see you again.”

“Then, whatever else happens, we better make tonight count.”

I was desperate. I felt as if the world was ending.

“Jackson, you’ve already kept up your end of the bargain. You rescued me. You brought me here.”

Tears poured from my eyes. I felt as if I would die without him. I couldn’t let him leave. He had to stay.

“We made a promise to each other,” he said. “And I aim to keep my word.”

“We both kept our word already,” I said.

He shook his head.

“No we didn’t. Not yet. But we will.”

“You got me away from that motel. I gave myself to you.”

“That’s not the promise we made, Faith, and you know it.”

I looked into his eyes and I knew he was right. The promise we’d made went deeper than that. Much deeper.

“You’ll keep your promise to me, even if you wish you’d never made it.”

“I’m glad I made it, Jackson.”

The waitress came with our food. I wiped the tears from my eyes. Jackson ordered apple pie for both of us for dessert. He said we’d need our strength for what was coming.

“I’m sorry, Jackson,” I said, when the waitress left.

He reached across the table and took my hands in his.

“I really wanted you, Faith Shepherd. I didn’t know it until right this moment.”

“Jackson, it doesn’t have to be the way you think.”

“I’ve got to face Wolf,” he said.

“Why? He’ll kill you. You can’t beat a man like that. We can run. We can go north. Hide out in Washington, or Canada. Alaska even. Or we can go south to Mexico. I don’t care where we go as long as we’re together.”

I was pleading with him still.

“I don’t run,” he said. “Don’t ask me again.”

“Don’t you have anyone we can turn to for help?”

He thought for a moment. “I have my brotherhood,” he said, “but I can’t drag them into this. This is our fight.”

“Jackson, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize it would be this way.”

He looked into my eyes for a long time. When he spoke, I felt as if he was speaking to me from a great distance.

“I know,” he said.

I couldn’t eat. I felt ill. If Jackson rode out to face Los Lobos alone, they’d kill him.

“Tell me,” he said as he ate, “what’s Wolf Staten like?”

I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to cry. I looked into Jackson’s face and all I could feel was guilt. I’d signed his death sentence.

“You know him.”

“I’ve done business with him. But what’s he like as a man?”

“He’s very intense,” I said. “Like you.”

“Was he good to you?”

“I thought he was at the beginning. That was two years ago. Then the beatings started. The cheating. He put me in compromising situations with his cronies. The final straw was when he decided to lock me away in a secret apartment in his compound.”

Jackson nodded. “I’m glad you got out,” he said. “You’re too good for a life like that, Faith. You’re too good for all of this.”

I looked into his eyes. I knew Jackson was a dangerous man in his own right. I knew he’d tasted blood. He’d said he was bad to the bone. He was violent, strong, he could do what needed to be done. That didn’t make him bad in my book. That made him a man, a real man.

“Don’t leave me,” I said quietly.

“I’m going to kill Wolf,” he said. “It needs to be done. A man like that, he’ll hunt you as long as you live.”

“No,” I said, crying.

Jackson nodded. “I’m going to keep my promise to you Faith. I’m going to make you safe.”

“I never intended to get you hurt.”

“It doesn’t matter,” he said. “The truth is, I’ve been living on borrowed time my whole life.”

“Don’t say that.”

“I can make my peace with it, Faith. But you have to do what you promised.”

“I will, Jackson. I swear.”

“You have to keep your promise to me.”

“I swear by God I will.”

“You’ll keep it tonight.”

Chapter 11

Jackson

T
HE BROTHERHOOD HAD A SAFE HOUSE
in the hills above the desert. We used it from time to time when we needed to hide out. It was completely off the grid, had it’s own well, it’s own solar power, it’s own everything.

I brought Faith there so she could keep her promise to me. Now that my death was near, that promise was the only thing that mattered.

“What is this place, Jackson?”

“Just somewhere we can be safe.”

“Why don’t we stay here forever?”

I laughed. “I already told you, Faith. I don’t run. Not from anyone.”

I showed her around the house, a quaint adobe villa overlooking miles of desert valley. A spring fed a natural stream and trees shaded the veranda and garden. I knew she’d want to stay there with me.

Hell, I wanted to stay too, but I couldn’t. If I was going to hold her to her part of the promise, I had to keep mine too. And my promise was to make her safe. That meant taking out Wolf Staten, the head of Los Lobos.

I showed her to the bathroom. “Freshen up,” I said. “Have a rest. I’ll be back in an hour.”

“Where are you going?”

“We need firewood. It gets cold up here at night. We’ll also need something for dinner.”

“I’ll come with you.”

She was scared I was going to leave her.

“Listen,” I said. “I’m not going to leave you, Faith. Not without holding you to your word.”

“Oh,” she said, embarrassed.

“You said you’d be mine. I meant that absolutely. Before I leave, you’re going to give me everything you have to offer. I want all of you.”

“How do you know it will work?” she said, uncertainly.

I smiled. “It will work. You’ll see. I’m going to put my come in your naked womb, and it will work.”

She covered her mouth with her hand.

“That’s what this is all about, Faith. That’s what it’s always been about. The moment I set eyes on you in that bar last night, I knew I was going to do it.”