Heart Of The Bear (Appalachian Shifters #1) (4 page)

Ivy eased herself onto the stool to listen.

“I know about y’all.”

“What do you mean?” she asked me carefully.

“I know you’re shifters.”

“Shit. Did he tell you?”

“No, I figured it out. But he didn’t deny it.”

“Then you know what that means?”

“Caleb told me. That’s what led to him getting upset. See, he said I have three options. Either I have to stay here forever like I’m a prisoner, or I have to die, or I have to take one of the pack members as a mate.”

“Yeah, those are the three options,” she agreed. “Well, not so much the death one. We don’t really do that anymore. Kinda barbaric.”

“Yeah, no kidding!”

“So… what made him so mad?” she asked.

“I don’t know. I don’t get it. I told him I wasn’t really thrilled over the prospect of jail or death, basically. So the only other option was…”

“I get it!” she gasped. “Oh, my god, I get it.”

“What?”

“He likes you.”

“Who?”

“Caleb! Who else?”

“What do you mean?”

“You can’t be that dense,” Ivy groaned. “He got upset because he couldn’t stand the thought of you being mated with anyone else!”

“No… no, that can’t be it.”

“Why not?” Ivy asked. “It makes total sense.”

“First of all, we hardly know each other,” I argued. “And second… well… I can’t think of a second thing. But we hardly know each other.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Ivy said. “Shifters work differently than humans. They’re more animalistic. They can sense compatibility via scent.”

“Ew. Are you saying he smelled me?”

“Basically. He detected your unique pheromones, likely.”

“I have no idea what that means. Ask me the correct ratio of flour, sugar, and butter for shortbread or where foie gras comes from, and I’ve got you covered. But what the hell are pher… phar… whatever?”

“Pheromones are imperceptible to humans, but other animal species can detect them. Actually, humans can perceive them. They just don’t realize it,” Ivy said. “You’ve heard of ‘chemistry’ between people, right? Well, that’s what causes it. If your pheromones are compatible, there’s chemistry.”

“So you’re saying love is basically just science?”

“Not love… just chemistry.”

“There’s a difference?” I asked.

“Don’t ask me! The closest thing I’ve ever been to ‘in love’ was the time I tried dark chocolate fudge in town! I need to go see if your broth is ready. It’s past time for you to eat.”

With that, Ivy got up and left the room, leaving me to mull over everything she’d said. Could it be that Caleb was attracted to me? Surely not. I mean, I was just a chubby girl with plain brown hair and brown eyes. Nothing special. Right?

Then again, if what Ivy said was true and shifter men preferred curvier chicks…

Oh, hell, who was I kidding? It didn’t matter what crazy notions I got into my head that this Adonis might actually be attracted to me… it couldn’t be true. It just couldn’t be.

I’d been with Caleb’s pack for nearly a month before I could manage to stand up and hobble around a bit. Several of the male pack members had taken to coming by to check on me, and Caleb never showed any signs that it bothered him. I had decided that Ivy was wrong. He wasn’t attracted to me. He just didn’t like the idea of a human coming into their group. That had to be it.

One evening I had gone for a stroll around the den, which is what they called the little pseudo-village they had up on the mountain overlooking Gatlinburg. The view was breathtaking, and I looked down at the town in the valley and watched the tourists… they looked as tiny as ants from my vantage point… as they visited the shops and the aquarium.

I felt a hand rest on my shoulder, and I turned to see one of the pack males standing behind me. He smiled at me warmly, and I couldn’t help but smile back.

“How are you feeling, Penny?” he asked. “It’s good to see you up and about.”

“I’m sorry, I seem to have forgotten your name,” I apologized.

“Rusty,” he said, his smile fading slightly.

“Of course,” I said. “Rusty. Now I remember. Sorry, my memory hasn’t been very good since the crash.”

“It’s alright,” Rusty said. “Can I walk with you?”

“I don’t see why not,” I answered.

There was a little path that wound through the den and down the side of the mountain toward a little branch where they collected water. There were no utilities that far up on the mountain, so they lived a very rustic lifestyle that I actually found refreshing.

As we walked, I felt movement behind me, and suddenly Rusty’s arm was draped across my shoulders. I tensed up, but I said nothing. I didn’t want to be rude, but this gesture made me uncomfortable. I’d barely even spoken to Rusty before this.

As we approached the branch, I was relieved to feel his arm moving off my shoulders, but unfortunately the situation grew even more awkward immediately afterward. Rusty pushed me against a tree and pressed his lips against mine.

I pushed against his chest with both hands and tried to twist my head to the side to get away, but my neck was still quite sore, making it nearly impossible to turn my head more than a couple of inches in either direction. His lips were quite insistent, and the harder I struggled, the more he seemed to enjoy it. I closed my eyes and prayed it would be over soon.

I tried to mutter my protestations, but the sound was muffled by his mouth against mine. I was growing angry, and I was just about to bite his lip when I suddenly felt a whoosh of air and Rusty was gone.

I opened my eyes just in time to see Caleb with his hand around Rusty’s throat. He’d pinned him against another tree and Rusty’s feet were dangling several inches off the ground.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Caleb demanded.

“Just being friendly,” Rusty croaked, his eyes bulging and his face turning purple.

“Friendly would be bringing her a bouquet of wildflowers, or holding the door for her, not trying to suck her whole face down your esophagus!” Caleb shouted.

“Sorry,” was all that Rusty could manage to grunt out as he struggled to keep his grip on consciousness.

“If you ever touch her again… if you ever even come within a hundred yards of her again… I’ll kill you,” Caleb snarled. “You got that?”

Rusty nodded weakly, and Caleb released him. Rusty slumped to the ground clutching his throat and wheezing as he tried to catch his breath.

“Get out of here!” Caleb yelled, and Rusty sprang to his feet and disappeared. Caleb turned to me and asked, “Are you ok?”

“I am now,” I answered.

“Why did you let him put his arm around you?” Caleb demanded.

“What?” I asked.

“He had his arm around you the whole way down the path,” Caleb said. “And you let him!”

“I… I didn’t want to be rude,” I explained.

“I hardly think it would have been rude to simply tell him you didn’t want him to do that,” Caleb said.

“I just… I thought…”

“Don’t let it happen again,” Caleb said, and he turned to walk away.

My blood began to boil, and I reached out and snatched his arm.

“Wait just a minute!” I snapped as he turned to face me. “How the hell did you know he had his arm around me the whole way? Were you spying on me?”

“I was watching over your safety,” Caleb said coolly. “And it’s a good thing I was, considering what just happened.”

Caleb shrugged his arm away from me and turned to walk away.

“And how dare you tell me to not let it happen again!” I called after him. “Who do you think you are?”

He turned toward me with a look of pure vitriol on his face, and he approached me with such purpose that I almost felt frightened. I began to back away as he approached me further.

“Don’t forget that I saved your life,” Caleb warned me. “Don’t forget that I’ve spent every waking moment for the last month watching over you. Don’t forget that I’ve poured every ounce of my blood, sweat and tears into caring for your every need all this time.”

I bumped into the tree that Rusty had pinned me to and Caleb came to a stop just in front of me. He leaned in close… so close I could feel his warm breath against my face.

“And don’t forget that I didn’t have to do any of this,” he snarled. “I could have just left you in that plane wreckage and you’d have bled to death in a few hours. That is, if a pack of coyotes didn’t find you first.”

I shuddered, and then I jutted my chin out defiantly and said, “Oh? Then why didn’t you just leave me there?”

“Maybe I should have,” he spat at me.

His words stung me so deeply that I drew my hand back to slap him across the face. But as I brought my hand toward him, he caught my wrist and pulled it across my body, locking it in place as he pressed his body against me.

I looked up into his eyes, and my heart beat erratically. I could feel it thumping all the way in my throat, and I swallowed several times in an attempt to clear my airway.

“Never, ever try that again,” he warned me.

“I wish you had left me to die!” I suddenly cried out as tears began to obstruct my view. “You should have left me!”

In an instant, his lips closed over mine. I fought to break away from him, but he released my wrist and took my face in his hands. His tongue pried my lips apart, and my hands instinctively lifted to his chest, where they rested for a moment before sliding up to tangle into his hair. He slid his hands down my neck and then over my shoulders, down my back, and he grasped my ass, lifting me upward. I wrapped my legs around his waist, and he pinned me more firmly against the trunk of the tree.

His kiss was deep and searching. I heard a moan within his throat as he kissed me with some sort of desperate passion, and one which I must admit that I returned in equal measure. The urgency in his kiss fueled something in me. It ignited a spark that I’d long since forgotten existed.

The moment I felt the hardness of his erection pressing between my legs, I went weak. Warmth began to build in the area where it rested, flooding my body, my mind, and even my heart with feelings I had never known.

“Caleb,” I whispered as I pulled away for a breath.

Caleb froze. His hazel eyes sparkled with life, but it quickly faded. I watched the light go out, and he slowly lowered my feet to the ground. He turned without a word and began to walk away.

“Why didn’t you just leave me?” I called after him, tears of confusion clouding my vision.

He paused, and then turned toward me to say, “I’ll
never
leave you.”

With that, he tuned and walked away, and I let him.

To say that I was confused was an understatement of epic proportions. I was beyond confused. One moment he was saving me. The next moment he was angry at me. Then he was kissing me. Then he was walking away. He said he’d never leave me, but that’s exactly what he just did.

What…

The…

Hell?

I leaned back against the tree and sighed heavily. My eyes spotted the flurry of tourist activity in the town below, and I thought for a brief moment about fleeing. I could probably make it to town before I was even missed. Then I could hitch a ride to Pigeon Forge and hop a bus to Charleston. It would be so easy.

Only it wasn’t.

I just couldn’t make myself leave. I tried to tell myself it was because they’d only track me down and drag me back, but the truth was, I didn’t want to leave.

As autumn approached, it became harder for me to explain to my mother why I was still in Gatlinburg whenever she called. I’d been at the den for most of the summer, though Caleb had hardly spoken to me since the incident by the brook.

I’d grown used to the awkward silences. Mostly. It was tolerable, I suppose, given the alternative. Sure, I could have tried to run away. But something wouldn’t let me. I couldn’t even entertain the thought. Despite the uncomfortable tension between us, I couldn’t leave him.

One evening, as the first chill of autumn set in, some of the pack members gathered around a bonfire to enjoy the fresh air. I was sitting on the outskirts of the gathering when Ivy approached me.

“Mind if I join you?” she asked.

“Please,” I said, nodding to the fallen log upon which I was resting.

“You and Caleb still not talking?” she asked me.

“Afraid not,” I told her.

“You should go talk to him,” she said.

I noticed her watching something intently, and I followed her eyes. Caleb was leaning against a tree with his arms crossed over his chest. He was staring into the distance and looking completely alone.

“I can’t, Ivy,” I argued. “I’m too upset.”

“Look, there’s things you don’t know about Caleb,” she said. “And it’s not up to me to tell you, but clearly he hasn’t or you wouldn’t be sitting here right now. All I can tell you is that he needs you, and you should go to him.”

I couldn’t take my eyes off him, and I could almost sense the depth of his loneliness from across the thirty or so yards between us. He pushed off the tree and disappeared into the woods.

“Go,” Ivy said. When I didn’t move, she pushed at me and said, “Go!”

I needed no further prodding. I jumped off the log, ignoring the twinges of discomfort that skill lurked inside my body, and I followed him.

Caleb followed the path toward the branch, and I slowly followed after him. I watched him approach the water, and he kneeled beside it and splashed his face. I watched him rub his eyes with his middle finger and thumb, finally pinching the bridge of his nose with his elbow resting on his knee.

“Caleb?”

I was surprised that he was startled as he jerked his head to look at me. I assumed his shifter senses would have detected me long before.

“What are you doing here?” he snapped.

I walked over to him and stood over him. I said nothing. Not because I was upset with him, but because I simply couldn’t find the words.

He shook his head and turned to look away from me. I couldn’t see his face, but somehow I knew there was a tremendous sadness within in. I could feel it. It was almost palpable. I put my hand on his shoulder, and in an instant his hand reached up to rest on top of mine. His fingers lingered there for a moment, and then they closed around my hand and pulled it to his lips. He kissed the back of my hand firmly, and then he turned it over and kissed my palm. Then he slid his fingers around my wrist.

He stood up and used my wrist to pull me toward him. He kept his grip on my left wrist with his right hand, and his left hand scooped around the back of my neck and brought my face toward his.

“Penny,” he said softly.

“Shh,” I told him. “You don’t have to say anything.”

I took his face in my hands and brushed my lips over his. I heard him exhale, and he stroked my cheek with the tip of his nose. Then he pushed his nose against the top of my shoulder and inhaled deeply.

His lips found mine again, and he wrapped his arms tightly around me as I parted my lips for him. His tongue slipped inside my mouth and began to dance with mine, tangling and twisting as his hands began to knead the flesh of my back.

My hands rested on the thickly corded muscles of his arms, and I could feel them twitching as he caressed my body. I was desperate to feel his skin against mine, so I tugged at his t-shirt, trying to pull it from the waistband of his jeans.

“No!” he gasped, pulling away from me and stumbling backward.

“What is it?” I asked.

“No… I don’t… I don’t like to take my shirt off,” he said.

“What? Why not?”

“I just don’t,” he said. “Don’t be offended. I just… I can’t.”

“Alright,” I said softly, stepping toward him and reaching out to touch his arms, which were folded in front of him. He recoiled slightly at my touch, but as my hand slid over his skin, he relaxed slightly. “Caleb, I won’t ask you to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”

He nodded, and then he pulled me back against him and began to kiss me once more. This time his kiss was cautious… a bit reserved. After a moment, he pulled back.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked him.

“Maybe someday,” he said. “Not now.”

“I have insecurities, too, you know,” I told him.

“You?”

“Yes, me,” I said.

“What could you possibly have to be insecure about? Look at you!”

“Yeah, look at me. My hair is always either flat as a pancake or frizzed out like a chia pet. There’s no in between. My skin always gets these red blotches out of nowhere, and no amount of makeup in the world seems to hide them. I bite my fingernails down to nubs. My breasts are saggy enough that I feel twenty years older than I am. I’ve got stretch marks in places that no other woman has them, and I haven’t even had kids yet. My ass jiggles when I walk, my thighs rub together so much they chaff if I wear shorts in the summer, and if my thighs were made of the cottage cheese they look like they’re made out of I could put the cottage cheese companies out of business!”

“I like the way your ass jiggles,” Caleb argued with the most adorable pouty grin.

I couldn’t help but snicker slightly, and he took me into his arms and kissed the end of my nose.

“Look, pumpkin,” he said, “you see all those things as imperfections, but I see them as beautiful. Do you know why? Because they’re you. And you’re the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen in my life. To me, nothing about you is imperfect. To me, you are the epitome of perfection.”

“Don’t you see?” I told him. “That’s the way I feel about you.”

I could tell that he was really mulling over what I’d just said, and after a moment he said, “Fine. You really want to see?”

I nodded. He took a deep breath and grasped his shirt. After a pause, he lifted it over his head and tossed it to the ground.

I wasn’t prepared for what I saw before me. I gasped and closed my eyes, turning away from the dozens of massive scars that mottled his skin.

“See,” he said. “I knew you’d see how ugly I am.”

My eyes popped open and I turned toward him as he was walking toward his shirt. He swiped it off the ground and started to pick it back up, but I stopped him.

“No! Wait,” I said, and he paused with a roll of his eyes.

“What?”

“Caleb, you misunderstood,” I told him, tugging the shirt until he finally released it. I dropped it to the ground again. “I didn’t turn away because I think you’re ugly. I turned away because I couldn’t bear to think of the pain that must have caused such deep scars. Caleb, you’re beautiful. Everything about you is beautiful, even these scars. Do you know why they’re beautiful?”

“Why?” he sighed.

“Because they’re you,” I said. “Because you were stronger than whatever caused them. Because whatever, or whoever, did this to you didn’t beat you. Because you’re still here. You survived. Whatever happened to you to cause such scars turned you into the man you are today, and that’s not a bad thing.”

He swallowed hard, and I could have sworn I saw the faint glimmer of a tear in one eye, but he cleared his throat and said, “Fair enough.”

“Alright, you overcame your fears for me,” I told him. “Now I’m going to do the same.”

Before I could talk myself out of it, I pulled my shirt and my bra over my head and dumped them onto the ground beside his shirt. I stood before him with my sagging breasts and my muffin top spilling over the waistband of my jeans and I waited for his reaction.

“God, you’re beautiful,” he breathed, and I could literally hear the sincerity in his voice. His eyes devoured me as if he could never get enough of looking at me. I couldn’t help but believe him.

“So are you,” I told him.

I don’t know who moved first, but in a fraction of a second the two of us were in each other’s arms kissing with all the urgency and passion that had been building up over the weeks we hadn’t been speaking. We tangled together in one undulating mass that fell onto the forest floor in a sea of hastily removed clothing and naked limbs.

It had been so long since I’d felt anything even remotely close to this. I had never felt such intensity. I’d never felt such desire, or passion, or longing.

“Say you’re mine,” Caleb demanded.

“I’m yours,” I answered without hesitation.

“Say you’re
only
mine,” he growled as his fingers tangled into my bangs and he tugged firmly.

“I’m only yours, Caleb,” I promised him. “I only want you.”

“Mean it!” he snarled, tugging my hair even harder.

“I do mean it,” I gushed. “Caleb, I mean it!”

“I hope so,” he said softly, releasing his hold on my hair.

I could feel the desperation in his voice. It seeped from his pored and wrapped around us both like a thick fog. He needed to know that he was wanted and needed by someone who would never hurt him, never betray him, and never leave him. Despite his tough exterior, this Alpha male bear was more like a teddy bear missing an eye that sat on the store shelf so long he thought he was worthless.

His hardness stabbed against my inner thigh, and I could feel it pulsing against me. My whole body was alive with sensations. I could feel the chilly autumn air flowing across my naked skin. I could feel his hands stroking all along my body. I could smell the rich, musky scent of him mingling with the earthy scent of the forest floor beneath us. I could taste the slightest hint of brandy on his lips as he kissed me. And the fire in my loins was raging with new intensity.

“Take me, Caleb,” I begged him through the flurry of kissed he was planting all over my face. “Please!”

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Yes!” I gasped. “Yes, please, take me!”

I was lying on top of him, and he wrapped me in his arms and deftly rolled me onto my back in one swift movement. Now he was above me, and I could feel his cock straining against me.

“I smell your arousal,” he told me. “It smells delicious.”

Instead of penetrating me, he lowered his head between my thighs. Using his fingers, he spread me apart and swooped his tongue between my lips. I shivered the moment his moist tongue touched my swollen clit, and I moaned softly. He slipped two fingers inside me and then pulled them back out. He rolled my glistening wetness between his fingers and thumb, and then he stuck his fingers into his mouth and sucked them clean, his eyes rolling back into his head in pure bliss.

“You taste fucking amazing,” he groaned.

I didn’t have time to respond before he slid his tongue back between my pussy lips and I cried out with rapture at the feeling of his warm tongue sliding over my clit.

He curved his fingers into me, rubbing the mottled patch of skin inside my tunnel that was so sensitive. He lapped eagerly at my throbbing clit, and I could hear these deep, guttural moans escaping his throat as he licked me. It was as if he were a starving animal and I were the meal of a lifetime. It turned me on like nothing you’ve ever imagined to know the kind of pleasure he was getting from pleasuring me.

I reached down with both hands and snarled my fingers into his waves of hair. I pushed his head more firmly against me, and I began to grind my hips against his face.

“Oh, god!” I moaned. “Yes, just like that!”

I could feel the pressure mounting. It was like little surges of warmth racing from my abdomen straight to my clit. My toes began to curl, and my nipples stiffened. I balled my hands into tight fists as I gripped his hair, and his tongue brought me to the brink of orgasm.

“Don’t stop!” I begged him. “Ohhhhhhhh, yes!”

Fireworks. Cliché or not, that’s what I felt. Hot explosions of blinding passion resounded within me, and I cried out his name over and over as he kept licking and sucking my clit until I was writhing around on the ground. I thought it would never stop.