Heart Echoes (32 page)

“River was a surprise. But I have tried to do my best.”

“It seems to have worked. What else is there?”

Adoption.
“River. Uh.” She swallowed. “River wants to adopt her. Maiya and I want that too.”

Cody sat back and gazed at her. “That means I give up my rights as her father?”

“It means you wouldn't owe her anything. You wouldn't be financially responsible for her. She would not inherit anything from you unless you were to stipulate that. She doesn't take your name. She could still visit as often as she wants. You'd still have a relationship.”

He looked away. His jaw clenched. His lips pressed together. He made eye contact again. “I sign papers, giving up rights and responsibilities, and we base our relationship on abandonment.”

“Not exactly. At this age she wouldn't see it that way.”

“But I would. I would, Teal. And that doesn't sit well in my gut. Life is about loyalty. Now that I know I have another daughter, I refuse to abandon her. I won't do it.”

She bit back a sarcastic retort. Not only had the guy grown up, he'd gone off the deep end. Had she asked for a stupid knight in shining armor to ride up on his white horse? No. She had River for that.

Disappointment washed through her. River would be crushed. Maiya would be . . .

She did not really know what her daughter would be. Especially once she heard the whole truth from her mother.

Funny. All the fearing about Cody fighting adoption had not helped. All the delaying had not helped. Here they were, exactly in the place she thought she had avoided.

She really had been a silly fool.

Chapter 54

After returning home from their long day and evening at Disneyland, Teal had hoped to tuck Maiya into bed and surprise her with the baby news. Instead she went right to bed herself, needing River to tuck her in. There hadn't been a chance to tell him about her private talk with Cody. That would have to wait. Perhaps the baby news could wait as well.

She said, “Maybe we shouldn't tell her tonight.”

He propped another pillow behind her back. “She'll say it wasn't fair to exclude her. How come we all knew and she didn't?”

Teal did an eye roll. “You can be so annoyingly right on about her.”

He stretched to pat himself on the back. “Yes, I can.”

“I think we've maxed out on over-the-top emotions for one day.”

River sat on the edge of the bed. “You're exhausted, but we have to bring her in. This is major family business.” He glanced at her midsection. “For us four.”

She sighed and whispered, “He showed her family pictures already! What if she refers to that woman as her stepmom? What if she says ‘Dad this' and ‘Dad that'? What if—?”

He put a finger to her lips. “News flash, love. Cody
is
her dad. Erica
is
her stepmom. We have to accept these facts and get used to them. It doesn't take anything away from us, from what we have together. It's not like anyone is going through a nasty divorce and forcing her to take sides.”

She moved his hand away from her mouth. “Why couldn't they have just stayed overseas? Or even on the East Coast?”

“Teal.” His low tone was San Sebastian style.

“What?” She snapped the word.

“I adore you. I adore that we are having a baby together. But if pregnancy makes you this whiny, I'll be spending more time at school, and I wouldn't be surprised if Maiya moved down to Camp Pendleton.”

“Teasing is not going to help.”

“I'm only half teasing. I'll cut you some slack for hormones and exhaustion, but this is off the charts. What else is going on here?”

She shuddered and a sob nearly closed up her throat. “She had to do this all by herself.”

“Yes, she did.”

“I messed up.”

“Big time.”

“How can I ever . . . ?”

“Make up for it? You can't.”

“How can she ever forgive me?”

He shrugged. “Only one way to find out.”

“How?”

“How do you think?”

“Ask for it? Apologize?”

His eyebrows rose.

She gritted her teeth and deleted the question marks. “I ask for it. I apologize.”

There was a brief knock on the open door and Maiya came into the room. “Apologize for what?”

“Oh, honey.”

Maiya plopped on the other side of the bed, her face scrunched. “My bad. I'm sorry, Mom and Riv. I never should have contacted Cody without telling you two.”

Teal exchanged a glance with River, who smiled.

She reached over and took Maiya's hand. “Hon, you had every right to do that. I am proud of you for being brave and doing what had to be done when I dropped the ball. Maybe you should have told us, but I really didn't let you. You knew my response would be what it's always been: ‘I'll tell you later.' Thank you for figuring out that ‘later' was now.”

“I just couldn't wait any longer to find out.”

River said, “What made you change your mind? After the Dutch incident, you said you didn't want to know him.”

Maiya shrugged. “I was missing Aunt Lacey and Uncle Will and Baker so much. And Nora. I e-mailed her and she e-mailed back. She reminds me of Gammy Jayne, you know, just down-to-earth and not judging me for being me. I guess it snuck up again, that wanting to fill up the empty place. No offense, Riv.”

“None taken.” He ruffled her hair. “How did our smart cookie put the pieces together? You were putting yourself out there to contact Cody, not knowing for sure it was him.”

She blew through her lips. “
Pff.
It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out it was 99 percent for sure him. I figured I was conceived around Christmastime, when you might have been home from college, Mom. I heard the stories about what a bad dude Cody was. Baker did some research and found out he'd been arrested and went to jail about the time I was born, just like you said my dad was. The way you didn't want to tell me when we were in Cedar Pointe was a red flag. Then there was the awesome way I connected with Nora. And—” she gave them a funny smile—“you saw her earlobes.”

Teal sighed. “Maiya, I'm the one who needs to apologize. I'm sorry you had to go through all this by yourself. And from the bottom of my heart I'm sorry that I lied about Cody not wanting anything to do with us when in fact he did not even know you existed.”

“But he was eighteen and totally screwed up.” She sniffed, on the verge of crying now, her smart-aleck demeanor melting away at the reality of who Cody was. “He wouldn't have cared about us.”

“He probably wouldn't have been capable of even trying, but that's moot at this point. I just apologize for everything, honey.”

Tears streamed down Maiya's face. “It's okay.”

“It's not, but I hope you can forgive me.”

“Mom, it's okay. Really.” She brushed away the tears. “Yeah, I've been seriously ticked at you, but I never thought about forgiving you. You're my mom. Why would I have to think about that?”

Because I hurt you deeply.
So deeply her daughter would not even see the fallout until much later in her life. Something would happen. Perhaps she'd be unable to trust Teal in some way. Perhaps shame would strike out of the blue because of how she was conceived and she would react, thinking herself worthless, engaging in self-destructive behavior.

Cody's accusation echoed through her.
Kind of picky about what parts of the truth you reveal.

“Maiya, Cody and I were not boyfriend and girlfriend.”

“Yeah, I got that. So?”

“So our intimacy was without affection.”

“I get it, Mom. You've taught me all about that. How some girls who don't have good dads have sex with guys just to fill up some emptiness. You had Dutch
and
Owen to deal with. Yucko!” Her eyes widened. “Whoa. Is that why you went totally berserk about Jake?”

Teal shrugged. “Honey, don't excuse me for how I let you down. For your own well-being, I hope you can let me off the hook.”

Maiya cocked her head.

Teal's breath caught at the mirror image of herself.

“Mom, you did what you thought you had to do to protect me. But it all turned out fine. Right? I got to meet Cody. He's not Riv, but he's cool. And okay, I admit I fantasized about him being a prince, but no worries.” She leaned over and kissed her cheek. “I love you. You are not on the hook.”

“All right then. I accept that.”

“Good. Are we done?”

Teal exchanged a smile with River. “Yes, we're done.”

Maiya bounded off the bed and ran through the doorway, calling out, “Don't go away.”

River mouthed at Teal,
It's okay
. She took a deep breath.

Maiya popped back into the room holding a bag from Disneyland and slid up onto the bed again. “I have gifts!” She pulled out two small boxes and handed one to each of them. “Happy day.”

Teal exchanged a curious smile with River and opened her gift. She pulled out a tiny riverboat Christmas tree ornament and laughed. “Thank you, hon.”

River was grinning and inspecting a miniature train. “Thunder Mountain? Thanks.”

“Yep. I gave Space Mountain to Uncle Will because he liked that best. Aunt Lace loved her Tinker Bell mug.”

River reached over and opened a dresser drawer. “As long as we're exchanging gifts.”

Teal said, “Good grief. What was I doing while you two were shopping?”

River winked and gave a shirt-size box to Maiya. While she opened it, he put his mouth to Teal's ear and whispered, “Upchucking.”

“Oh yeah.”

He smiled. His eyes were sparkling again.

Evidently throwing up was preferable to whining. She'd have to keep that in mind.

“Riv!” Maiya held up a red nightshirt. Minnie Mouse filled the front with her smiling face, pink bow, and pink dress with white polka dots. “Sweet! Thank you!”

“You're welcome, Minnie McMouse.”

“Mom, what did you get?”

Teal wiggled the lid off a small box. She wasn't into Disney junk. Why would River . . . ? “Earrings!” She lifted out a pair of beautiful dangly earrings with crystals and not a hint of mouse ears. “River! Thank you.”

He grinned. “I had to remember our special day with something special.” He leaned over and kissed her.

Evidently too long for Maiya's comfort. She cleared her throat twice. “Okay, I'll be seeing you two.”

They laughed. River sat up. “Oh, sit back down for a minute.”

She sank onto the bed, a wary expression on her face.

Teal smiled. “I'm happy you have siblings now.”

“Yeah?” She sounded puzzled. “Me too. I guess, anyway. I mean, they don't sound like brats.”

“You've always wanted one, and now you've got three and another on the way. That makes four. Imagine that. All in one day.”

Maiya stared blankly.

Teal saw River's goofy grin and knew hers was the same. They waited, giggling.

At last Maiya squealed. “You're pregnant! You're pregnant?”

Teal leaned forward to receive Maiya's hug. “I'm pretty sure.”

“Oh, wow! Oh, wow! Unbelievable!”

River wrapped them both in his arms and they laughed.

Teal breathed a prayer of thanksgiving. Amazing how many over-the-top emotions could be packed into one day.

Teal awoke with a start. The covers were pulled up to her chin. Sunlight rimmed the curtains. River wasn't in bed. She could hear voices faintly from elsewhere in the house.

Why was she still in bed? How had she slept so soundly, not even hearing River get up?

Ohhh, yes.
She might be pregnant.

A sense of great joy tickled inside her skin, from the top of her head to the tips of her toes.

As if on cue to prove her thought was indeed true, nausea chased off the tickle and she groaned. With Maiya, it had been the same. Those first months had been gruesome, finishing her final undergrad semester, graduating, packing, all the while nauseated beyond belief. Worse, she had never felt so lonely in her life.

The door opened and River walked in, smiling, carrying a mug and a small plate.

She wasn't alone this time.
Thank You, God.
“Morning.”

“Good morning.” He set the things on the nightstand and sat. “Peppermint tea and saltines. Lacey's prescription for morning sickness.”

“Sounds good. But we don't have either of those things.”

“We do now. Those coffee shop people sure do get going early. Want to sit up?”

“Not yet. Want to lie down?”

He went to the other side of the bed and lay on it, fully clothed for work. “How are you?”

She moved slowly onto her side to face him and giggled. “Either I'm pregnant or my mind has tricked my body into thinking I am.”

River kissed her. “I vote for number one.”

“Me too. Is it time for you to go?”

“Not yet. What did you want to tell me?”

“Did I say I wanted to tell you something?”

“You didn't have to.”

“You're pretty good, Mr. Adams.”

“Not really.” He grinned. “You had a private talk with Cody. I figured you'd clue me in.”

“Why? You think you're someone special?”

“Mm-hmm. I know I'm someone special to you.”

Her smile faded. She touched his cheek.

River said, “He doesn't want to give up his parental rights.”

“He doesn't.”

They gazed at each other for a long moment, passing between them a heaviness. As they shared it, back and forth, back and forth, its weight began to lighten.