HDU (8 page)

“Amanda, it’s a fucking
miracle
!” he shouted, shooting up from his seat with his hands in
the air.
 
The entire diner froze,
coming to a standstill as they stared at the tall stranger and his vulgar
mouth.
 
Even the cooks in the
kitchen emerged to get a glimpse of the yeller, but Ian showed no more signs of
caring.

“
Shh
!”
Amanda hissed, though she couldn’t help being completely amused.
 
She dared to peek at her neighbors,
whose gazes interchanged between them like they were watching a tennis match.
 
Tandy Mueller sat at the counter with a
few of her gossip minions, her terrifying eyes so wide she could see more white
than pupil.
 

“Amanda Nathan, you are embarrassing your family,” Tandy
dared to shout, standing up from her chair.
 
“I hope you realize that!”

Ian promptly spun to face her.
 
“And I hope you… get a life, you
nutjob!” He slapped a twenty-dollar bill on the table before taking Amanda’s
hand to help her up from the booth.
 
“Okay, I think we have to go now,” he murmured in her ear, clearly
startled by his own outburst.

“I think you’re right,” Amanda whispered, covering
her mouth in shock as they shuffled out the diner.

~

Amanda sat on the wooden dresser in Ian’s Marriott
suite as he watched Liam’s video from his own laptop.
 
Just listening to Liam Brody’s actual voice again brought
her back to the reality that a celebrity was offering her whatever payment she
wanted to complete a task that really couldn’t be easier.
 
The past few days had been such a
whirlwind that Amanda wondered if she had simply been out of her mind not to
consider Liam’s offer earlier.

Sitting cross-legged on the bed with his chin in his
hands, Ian looked like a riveted five-year-old watching cartoons.
 
When the video finished, he slowly turned
to Amanda, his wide eyes fixated on nothing in particular.

“I know what to do,” he said, zen-like.

“What? What are we going to do?”

“More like what are
you
going to do,” he clarified, looking at her.
 
“It would kill a million birds with one
stone and I can’t believe you didn’t think of it earlier.”

“What?
What
?
Tell me!”

He threw his head back and laughed, flopping onto his
back.
 
“This is hilarious.”

“Why?” Amanda asked urgently.
 
“What’s hilarious?”

“You dating Liam Brody.”

Amanda stiffened, hit by a mix of emotions.
 
She let out a sharp laugh but then suddenly
shook her head with a frown.
 
“I
can’t.
 
I’m not pretty enough.”

Ian shot her an incredulous look.
 
“Uh, I think the issue might be that
you’re
too
pretty.
 
Remember?” He waved his hand before her
dazed eyes.
 
“You’re not exactly
Plain Jane material.”

Amanda narrowed her eyes at him, her cheeks aflame.
 
“Stop,” she said, not knowing what else
to say.
 
Compliments always made
her uncomfortable.

“I’ll stop, but you have to start getting used to the
idea of being Liam Brody’s fake girlfriend, because it’s going to happen.
 
It’s the perfect plan,” he said, his fingers
typing away on the laptop again.
 
“Don’t
worry, I’ll respond to this email for you.
 
I know exactly what to say.”

“Wait!” Amanda yelped, the reality suddenly hitting
her.
 
A knot twisted in her
stomach.
 
She
could
ask to be Liam’s Plain Jane.
 
“Just hold on.
 
Let me think for a second.”

“Fine.”
 
Ian closed his laptop and placed it gingerly before him, crossing his
arms as he waited for Amanda to think.
 
She stayed silent, frozen on the dresser.
 
“Do you need me to talk you through this?” he asked.

Amanda nodded wordlessly.

“Alright.
 
Part one.
 
You
are going to date Liam because he
needs a nice, every day All-American girlfriend that the rest of the world will
like and approve of.
 
You’re
going to get famous because
you’ll
have broken the chain of swimsuit
models that he usually goes for, and everyone will love both of you for being
such a weird, unlikely couple.”
 
Ian tilted his head, trying to meet Amanda’s roving eyes.
 
“Are you following so far?”

“Uh-huh,” Amanda answered absently, still rather jolted.
 
It made a ton of sense, really.
 
But that was the part that was scaring
her.

“Part two.
 
You stick it to everyone in Merit, especially Megan, because you’re the
girlfriend of an A-list celebrity whose been named to like a hundred Sexiest
Man lists.
 
You’ll use whatever
platform you get as his girlfriend to create your own following – on
Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, whatever.
 
And that can all lead to some sort of job.
 
I mean, you realize that people have gotten endorsement
deals just for dating celebrities, right? You just have to know how to play it.
 
Or, more importantly, you just have to
meet the
one
right person to connect
you to a bunch of different opportunities.”

Amanda nodded, literally pinching herself to snap out
of her trance.
 
“Holy crap,” she
murmured

“What?”

“This could all totally happen,” she said, looking up
at Ian with a sudden exhilaration.
 
“This is actually a completely feasible plan!”

“Well… yeah,” he shrugged.
 
“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.”

“But what about you?”
 
Amanda asked.
 
“What will make you famous?”

Ian smirked.
 
“Being your friend.
 
Being
connected to Liam somehow.
 
Trust
me, I’ll guide your way to make sure you blow up.
 
My own career depends on it.”

Amanda smiled, slowly allowing herself to laugh.
 
To really, truly enjoy it.
 
The plan was actually genius.
 
She wasn’t sure it could get any
better.
 

“Oh, and one more thing,” Ian said, as if suddenly
remembering.
 
“If the world ever
starts to forget us, we won’t let them.
 
Because we control the news.”

~

Dear Mr. Brody,

In your last email, you asked me to
name a price, so I found one.
 
I
agree to post only favorable articles (and my own flattering comments) about
your new romance as long as you agree to the following terms.

1. You expressed an interest in dating a
so-called Plain Jane to reverse your image as a bikini-chasing asshat.
 
The Plain Jane you choose must be me.

2. Aside from housing (any hotel will do,
I’m not bougie), I will be charging a weekly fee of $1,500.

3
.
 
A Soldier
is set to
begin production in mid-February.
 
Our staged romance must last until then, and you must bring me to at
least three public appearances, such as premieres, parties, and other highly
photographed events.
 
I promise to
attend whatever you invite me to.

4. You must take me out on at least one
‘date’ a week in plain view.
 
Make-up dates can be scheduled if no paparazzi show, but let’s be real,
they will be all over this.

5. You must mention me in at least two interviews
between now and mid-February.

6. To sign this contract, you must fly to
Columbia Regional Airport in Columbia, Missouri, arriving no later than 10AM
this Tuesday the 12th.

- You must pick up me (and 1 friend who is
aware of our situation) at a TBD location near Merit, Missouri to catch our
flight back to New York.
 

- You must suck it up if you find yourself
in a situation where you have to make small talk with my family members or
neighbors.
 
You will be my loyal “boyfriend”
at this point, so please remember to speak and act in such a manner (I will
accept nicknames such as “honey” and “babe”).

7. Contact me at (573) 555 – 1202.
 
I will disclose my name and other necessary
personal information when you arrive in Missouri.

I, Liam Brody, agree to the terms of service
outlined in this email.

X ____________________________

Please get back to me as soon as possible
about these arrangements.

Sincerely
yours,

- PK

~

“It doesn’t make sense to move the welcoming party
back a few days.
 
She’s coming home
tomorrow and I already invited everyone to come by around two,” Amanda’s mother
said, angrily mixing chocolate cake batter in a yellow ceramic bowl.
 
“Besides, I hardly want you
at
this party considering the stunt you
pulled at L.J’s today.”

Planted behind her laptop at the kitchen table,
Amanda did her best to sound rational.
 
“I told you it was blown out of proportion.
 
Since when did you start believing a single word Tandy
Mueller said anyway? You and Alice always thought she was creepy.”

“Well then I supposed everyone else in town is lying
too.”

“Would it be the first time?”

Her mother pursed her lips, considering it.
 
“You still have a
lot
of explaining to do, Amanda Bree.
 
I’m still waiting for it.”

“I know,” Amanda nodded blankly, refreshing her inbox
fiendishly as she did so.
 
Liam had
yet to respond, and she couldn’t tell her parents about moving out again until
he confirmed that she could.
 
Not
only that, she wanted to convince her mother to set the celebration on the day
of Liam’s arrival.
 
Turning Megan’s
welcome home bash into her own farewell party sounded like some of the best revenge
Amanda could think of – especially if Liam would be in attendance as her
boyfriend.

Click.
 
Click.
 
Click
.
 
Amanda
grew more and more antsy with each refresh of the page.
 
Liam Brody had to have a smart
phone.
 
Why the hell wasn’t he
checking his mail?

“Are you going to explain what’s going on with you or
not?” her mother asked impatiently.
 
“Between Tandy’s stories and this Ian boy, I’m getting the feeling you
didn’t tell me something about your time in St. Louis.”

No kidding
,
Amanda thought.
 
She decided not to
answer.
 
She didn’t want to spoil
her mother’s fun of throwing a welcome home party by revealing Megan’s true
colors.
 
Either that or she just
didn’t want to get into it.
 
She
could barely form a coherent sentence in her jitteriness.

“Do you hear me, young lady?”

Ding
.
 

The sound came the moment Amanda’s hand took a break
to crack her knuckle.
 
Her eyes
went wild as she clicked on her inbox, unable to hold her excitement as she saw
Liam’s email address bolded at the top.
 
She wanted to move to her room to check the message in private but she simply
couldn’t wait.

Dear “Babe”,

It’s a deal.
 
Call you when I get there.

Sincerely,

Love,

Liam

“Oh my God,” Amanda breathed.
 

“What?”

“Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.”
 
She lifted her laptop off the table and
ran with it to her room, shutting the door despite her mother’s shouting
questions.
 
A surge of adrenaline
coasted through her veins, forcing her to literally hop up and down on the
balls of her feet.
 
She grabbed her
phone off her dresser, dialing Ian’s number.
 
After a half ring, he answered.

“Did he respond?”

“He said, ‘It’s a deal!’
 
He agreed!” Amanda squealed, jumping up on her bed
excitedly.
 
“I’m going to New York!
We
both
are!”

She heard a string of joyous and faraway expletives from
the other end of the line before Ian’s voice came back clearly again.
 
“Wait, wait, what else did he say? When
is he coming?”

Amanda’s smile fell as she realized that Liam hadn’t
mentioned that.
 
She reopened her
laptop and stared at the email again, only then seeing that it had included an
attachment.
 
She clicked on it, a
smile once again forming on her lips.

“He attached his flight confirmation,” she said,
gasping for breath.
 
“Oh my God.”