Harvest (49 page)

“
What with?” Jason
insisted.

Rachel got up from the table and
disappeared out into the hallway and rummaged through a large
ottoman. Craig puzzled at her before answering Jason. “There’s
weapons all around us everyday. Think of all the harmful things
you’re told not to play with; dangerous liquids, flammables and
pointed things.”

“
We need a plan then,”
Kelly suggested.

Rachel returned to the group and
delivered a large two-handed sword crashing onto the table. “Seize
the day…”

Craig was emboldened by
the strength of Rachel’s conviction, but he finished her quote in
his head:
“For tomorrow we
die…”

Chapter
Thirty Six

Kelly rested against the
quilted headboard of Rachel’s bed, her seat parked on the pillow,
her knees hugged up to her chest. In the orange gloom the little
tasselled table lamp gave out from the bedside table she waited for
Rachel to return. The others would be moving about the flat and
turning in now too, Cat had refused to take up her old bedroom so
Craig had taken it, Kelly had wanted to join him but the idea
frightened her, and things were different between them now. Cat and
Jason were going to share the sofa cushions laid out on the floor.
Rachel’s room was like the rest of the flat, dated décor furnished
with old furniture, not antiques but pieces that were made about
fifty of sixty years ago and required craftsmanship – not a
flat-pack in sight. It reminded her of how her grandparent’s house
had looked. Well-decorated and furnished, but lived in and not
maintained for several decades.

It had been a harrowing day, and
the evening had presented its own difficulties through the five of
them discussing, mostly arguing, what they should do and who should
do it. She could feel the physical and psychological exhaustion
drawing on her weary body and mind. The option of doing nothing and
waiting the storm out had seemed an easy and rational option
considering they were seemingly safe and hidden from the reach of
the tower and the threat of its stalkers. Yet the knowledge that
others were in danger and that the five of them alone had faced
what others would consider fantasy or madness, had fuelled them and
left them with a burden of responsibility and the sense that they
were the only ones that would be prepared to do what needed to be
done.

Craig had shared Kelly’s unease,
but had objected little to the risks of their ideas and seemed to
be happy to go along with everything considered or decided. Kelly
had been unsure of Rachel’s thoughts and feelings because although
Rachel had taken the initial lead her composure had gradually been
eroded under the wear of Cat’s arbitrary digs and attacks, and she
had grown quiet and distant. Her natural authority had diminished
and she had flinched warily each time Cat spoke, a shadow or
resignation in her grey eyes. Cat was fully aware of her deference
and had taken advantage of it.

Kelly tried to bolster
Rachel as much as possible, but acting outside of the law and the
possibility of endangering anyone but herself was uncomfortable,
and she found it impossible not to be the grounded rational voice
in their brainstorming session, which meant the cohesion of the
group was left to a fraying Rachel. Especially when Cat had been
irresponsibly supportive of Jason’s wish, a
child’s
wish, to be involved in their dangerous
plans. Rachel’s protests were weak in her subdued state, and
Craig’s lack of standing and seeming unwillingness to rock the boat
had left Kelly fighting alone, aware that the strength of her
argument had alienated her into a lonely no-man’s land. The
frustration and anger still knotted Kelly’s insides, however
despite the danger and the madness of it all, they had eventually
settled on a plan.

The door nudged open and Rachel
stepped around it with two mugs held in front of her. She closed
the door behind her by walking backwards and pressing herself
against it. Dressed in a fleecy dressing gown buttoned up to her
neck, and with a floor length flannel night gown beneath, Rachel
looked older than Kelly had thought she was. Kelly took the drink
that was offered to her and Rachel rounded the bed and set her mug
amongst the clutter on her bedside cabinet. She peeled back her
side of the quilted nylon bed cover as much as she could with Kelly
sitting on it and got under the covers. “You turning in?”

“
In a bit. Thanks for the
drink.” Kelly raised her mug to Rachel in a silent toast of
thanks.

It had only been the middle of
the evening when they had all finished discussing what they would
do about the things at The Heights, and no one had been keen on the
idea of going to bed, it was the kind of night you would only sleep
if you were really tired, the wild ideas they had had and the
dangerous plans they had made were enough to keep sleep at bay.
Kelly was thankful to Rachel for suggesting playing poker, it had
proved a good distraction and kept their interactions with each
other focussed around the game. Cat did manage to get some snipes
at Rachel, but for the most part she shared her cards with Jason,
teaching him the rules and joking with him as if they had been
long-time friends and not the practical strangers they were. Cat
and Craig were competitive with each other, teasing each other with
their tells whenever they thought the other was bluffing, one would
lord it when they won, while the loser would demand another chance
to win and get vengeance.

Strangely, after the unusual
things they had discussed and the outrageous things she had agreed
to go along with that evening, it was Cat and Craig’s banter that
Kelly kept returning to. She had tried to join in with them on the
game, but although she played well, where she was in the turn
sequence limited her interaction with Craig, and the hands they
were dealt kept them out of the game with each other, as if the
game had conspired against them. She had felt a little like an
outsider, when tonight of all nights Kelly needed to feel included.
Even the casual conversation about science fiction in the early
evening had left Kelly out of her depth and seemingly cut off from
Craig, reinforcing her awareness of their tenuous relationship and
age difference.

Cat had entered their group like
a brick through a window. Kelly no longer felt as connected to
Rachel and Craig as she had before and she knew that feeling was a
reaction to Cat’s actions: Cat had made casual flirts with Craig
but with her eyes on Kelly watching for a response, she made jibes
at the police that scored some brief laughs with Craig and Jason,
attacked her reluctance at breaking the law by labelling her ‘PC
Goodie’ and ‘PC Jobsworth’ and challenged her self-imposed
authority during Rachel’s impotency. Cat clearly felt threatened by
Kelly and had systematically dealt with her.

Craig had retreated from playing
an active role in the plans, clearly intimidated by Cat, he had
stopped trying to reassure her while she eased herself into
accepting the madness. When Cat wasn’t being hostile he seemed to
get on quite well with Cat. Kelly had less of a share of Craig
now.

The way that insecurity felt was
identical to the way it had felt when she had been married to Ian,
and it scared her that she could feel that way again when she had
put so much distance between him, her and that time, and the way
she had been back then. She had become human again through Craig,
she had allowed herself to trust, to desire again, she had started
a journey that she had thought she wouldn’t or couldn’t make again
and now she had lost him to Cat. Even if she could compete she
didn’t how to. She didn't have the fight in her. She was angry at
herself for letting her defences down and being so pathetic when so
much was at stake, her defences were back now and so strong it was
hard to even talk to him. Kelly knew she was pushing him away,
backing off quietly and undoubtedly unnoticed.

“
Are you okay,
dear?”

Kelly rested her head on her
knees and faced Rachel. “It depends how you define ‘okay’.”

“
Yes, quite.” Rachel
admitted grimly, pursing her lips.

“
If okay is the numbed
state that comes from learning that monsters are real, and then
making plans to destroy them, then I’m there in that
feeling.”

Rachel wrinkled her nose up.
“Yes, I think that will have to be tonight’s definition of
‘okay’.”

“
What if we are making a
huge mistake?” Kelly leaned her head back against the wall.
Resigning herself to all the doubts that lingered off-stage in her
head. Rachel turned away, her eyes averted to the floor. “I’m
sorry, I know I have said this several times tonight. It’s just
that even if there are things in the basement of that building we
could get hurt. And if there isn’t, then someone could still end up
getting hurt doing what we are going to do.” She couldn’t even
bring herself to speak directly of what they planned. Monsters or
no monsters, tomorrow was going to be terrifying and dangerous. She
found herself hoping they would find something, because she stood a
chance of getting arrested and losing her job going along with all
that they had decided. “Where did you get that sword from anyway?”
Kelly changed tact to get away from the subject that would only
distance her from Rachel and she didn’t want that.

“
Oh that!” Rachel took
Kelly’s lead appreciatively. “Well, I went to a Pagan wedding once,
a good thirty odd years ago now, when I could pull off being in a
forest in the middle of the night with nothing on but my knickers
and goose-fat. The sword was part of the ceremony I think. I don’t
remember much of the affair as it was freezing in the woods, the
goose-fat was not as insulating as I was told, and I had drunk lots
of brandy to keep me warm. I don’t know how, and I suspect the
brandy had a little to play in this, but somehow I ended up coming
home with the thing. I hope it’s the real article and won’t just
break should I get to use it. Mind you, even if it does, it
outlasted the marriage it was used within. I wonder what happened
to them?”

“
You don’t see them
anymore?”

“
No, dear. That was back
when I thought my talent was a way of life. A lifestyle. It was
short-lived. I have never felt too comfortable with religion, with
all its dictates and ceremony.”

“
I’m surprised. I would
have thought your talent and spirituality would go hand in
hand.”

“
Don’t get me wrong. I am
a spiritual person, my ability which is currently beyond scientific
explanation makes it hard for me to reconcile myself with the cold
logic of atheism, but I don’t see how my ability particularly
connects me with religion either, especially how religion has so
many different opinions on the afterlife, and some of them actually
quite critical of people like myself.”

“
What do you believe in
then?”

“
I guess that I believe in
people, I have faith in the potential for goodness and greatness in
all people. A humanist.”

Kelly raised her eyebrows. “A
day in my job might ruin that for you.”

“
Quite
possibly, but I think it is what I see with my
other
vision that maintains my faith. Spirits
that are aware of their passing are often changed with the
experience, the living people that I am connecting them to often
find it difficult to equate them with the one they lost. Those
spirits are released from their material and psychological
trappings and are just themselves, honest and open to those they
have left behind. Something us mortals hardly ever are. No one
(including ourselves sometimes) truly knows the real
us.”

“
The openness and honesty
sounds nice.” If not a little frightening. It had been some time
since Kelly had been honest with herself, but she was trying to get
to know herself again. “This faith you have in people, is that why
you let Cat say the things she does?”

“
Yes.” Rachel lowered the
mug into her lap and her voice softened. “Yes, it is.”

“
Did you hear what she…”
Kelly stopped herself; of course Rachel had heard what had been
said about her, Cat had made sure she did. “You shouldn’t put up
with that.”

“
She’s
emotional.”

“
Just because she’s
emotional it doesn’t give her the right to attack you like
that.”

“
She lost her mother. The
only thing she had.” Rachel snapped. Tears gathered in her eyes and
her face took on an instant expression of guilt for her
tone.

Kelly gave her time to collect
her emotions. “She has you.”

“
I’m not her mother.” It
sounded like a confession to herself as much as an explanation. “I
have wanted to reach her on some level for eighteen months now. She
doesn’t want me.”

“
Perhaps you should leave
her to it. After what she came out with I don’t know why you
bother.”

“
I
bother.” Rachel took a deep breath, wiped her tears away and faced
Kelly with a renewed strength of resolve. “I bother because I
believe there is some good in ninety-nine percent of all people.
That’s one thing I have learnt talking to my
‘friends’
, they always have regrets when they
pass. That’s why I take it. I won’t let her drive me away. She’s an
angry child, angry at losing her mother. She’s lost one person that
cares for her; I won’t let her lose another one. I have to be here
if she needs me.”

Kelly felt a pull of shame in
her stomach and looked away into the shadows of the room.