Halfway to Forever (30 page)

“I knew it!” Jade giggled. “A true daddy’s girl; love at first sight.” She was tired, and her words slurred, but nothing could have dimmed the happiness bursting within her.

Jade studied her husband and daughter, and for the flash of an instant she wondered if she would live long enough for their baby girl to know her. The thought didn’t dredge up sorrow in her as it might have a week ago. Because Jade knew that if all Maddie had was the love of a father like Tanner, she’d never want for anything.

Fresh tears came, but Jade blinked them back. She didn’t want anything to blur the image of Tanner and their newborn daughter. Madison looked lost in Tanner’s muscled arms as he cradled her against his body and carried her to Jade. He leaned down and nuzzled his face near hers, with Madison snuggled between them.

“Everything’s going to be okay, Jade,” he whispered. “I can feel it.”

She wanted to say something, but her throat was too thick for words to pass. Instead, she nodded and ran her finger lightly over Madison’s silky dark hair.

“Time for the incubator.” A nurse came up behind Tanner and held out her hands. “We don’t want her to get too cold.”

Reluctantly, Tanner eased their daughter into the nurse’s arms. When she was gone, Tanner spoke in a soft voice near Jade’s ear. “You see it, don’t you?”

“What?” She brushed her cheek against his.

“She looks just like you.”

Jade smiled and settled back against the operating table. She had been thinking the same thing. There were few pictures of her as a child, but the box of belongings she took from her father’s house included one baby photo. There was no question that Madison looked like a small version of her. “I think you’re right.”

“I know so.” He kissed her cheek. “She’ll be a knockout.”

Jade was quiet for a moment. There was something she’d wanted to tell Tanner, but the timing had never been good, especially this past week when Tanner had been so fearful of the looming delivery date. “You brought the video camera, right?”

“Right. I’ll take pictures when I visit her down the hall.”

“Keep it here, okay? In the room. I have something I want you to do tomorrow.”

Tanner didn’t seem concerned with her request. He was too taken with the giddy reality of witnessing Madison’s birth and the fact that Jade had come through the surgery so well. “Whatever you want, honey. I have everything I’ve ever wanted. I can’t think of anything I wouldn’t do for you.”

Jade was still strapped to the operating table, the doctor working to stitch her closed. Despite the IV tubing, she managed to drape her arm around his neck. “There’s only one thing I really want.”

He brought his face up against hers. “The video camera?”

She shook her head.

“Pickles and ice cream?”

Her laughter rang through the room. He’d teased her throughout her pregnancy about the fact that she never had cravings. “No, silly. Not that.”

His face grew serious and he framed her cheeks with his fingertips, kissing her in a way that needed no words. “What then? Anything …”

“You, Tanner.” She whispered her answer straight to his heart. “Always only you.”

It had been four days, but still Hannah thought of the baby boy with every passing hour. Where was he and who would raise him? Would they teach him to love Jesus? God had heard the prayers she’d prayed over him, that much was certain. Even if they were the only prayers ever said for the boy, somehow she knew God would answer.

But still she wondered. Because in their short time together, the baby had left an indelible mark on her heart. She’d told Matt about him over dinner that night, how he’d looked into her eyes and how she’d fed him and sang to him, prayed over him for more than an hour.

“If I could have, I would have brought him home then and there, Matt. I’m sure of it. He felt like my child.”

“I wish I could have seen him.”

“So you’d be okay with a boy? One day down the road, I mean?”

“I only want a child, Hannah. Whatever child the Lord gives us.” Matt cocked his head. “What happens to the baby now?”

“He’s in short-term care until his relatives can be notified. I’m sure someone in his family will take him.”

In the days since then, Hannah had tried to push thoughts of the boy aside. She even wondered if she was dwelling on him as a way of letting go of Grace. Whatever it was, the feel of him in her arms, cradled against her chest, was not something that was fading with time.

Now it was Monday morning, and she and Matt had planned to be at the hospital by seven. Instead, she’d burned the oatmeal, and by the time the two of them had cleaned the mess, they were running late. Hannah was sitting at the kitchen table putting on lipstick and Matt was washing the breakfast dishes when the phone rang.

He dried his hands on his jeans and grabbed the receiver. “Hello?” He cradled it against his shoulder as Hannah threw him a dish towel from the table. “Okay.” Matt winked at her. “Just a minute.”

“Salesman …” He mouthed the word and handed her the phone.

“Thanks.” Hannah pointed to the clock. She kept her hand over the mouthpiece. “We have a baby to meet.”

“Sorry.” Matt shrugged and chuckled. “They asked for you.”

Hannah brought the phone to her ear and dropped the whisper. “Hello?”

“Mrs. Bronzan, I’m sorry to call so early. This is Edna Parsons at Social Services.”

The floor fell away beneath her. Why on earth was the woman calling now? To give them an update on a little girl they’d never see again? To offer more false promises? Hannah clenched her teeth. It did no good to be bitter now. “Yes, Mrs. Parsons.” She motioned for Matt to join her. “What can we do for you?”

Hannah heard the woman draw a deep breath. “First, I want you to know that what happened with Grace was … well, it was devastating for me.” She hesitated. “It was the first time in my career that anything like that took place, where a birth mother lied about her existing family members. It’s changed the way I handle cases.”

Matt pulled up a chair and sat across from Hannah, his eyebrows lowered. A streak of regret pierced the walls around Hannah’s heart. Maybe her thoughts about the social worker had been too harsh. “It was hard for all of us.”

“Anyway, that’s not why I called.”

“Okay, what’s up?” A part of her didn’t want to know, didn’t want to hear about another child who would almost certainly, positively, practically, for sure be theirs if only they were willing to
ride out the process. She held her breath and waited.

“We have a healthy baby boy, an infant. He’s been cleared for adoption, Mrs. Bronzan. No foster care involved. You’re the first person I’ve called.”

Hannah could feel the blood draining from her face. A healthy baby boy? Could it be …

It wasn’t possible.

The woman couldn’t be talking about the baby from the hospital the other day, the little boy who had grabbed so tightly hold of her heart and held it every day since?

Hannah closed her eyes and reached for Matt’s hand, her grip on the phone tighter than before. There was no way it could be the same child. Thousand Oaks had become a big city, and besides, Mrs. Parsons worked with families from all over Ventura County.

She blinked back tears and ordered herself to be calm. Mrs. Parsons was waiting for an answer. “What … what do you know about him?”

“Well … he’s six weeks old and very healthy. His mother’s name was Milly Wheeler; she was a teenage runaway from San Francisco …”

Hannah squeezed Matt’s hand while Mrs. Parsons continued.

“Apparently the mother was a drug addict. She stayed clean through the pregnancy, but took an overdose of drugs early one morning last week. On Thursday morning she showed up at Los Robles Medical Center, barely alive. Her baby was on her lap and—”

“Dear God, it can’t be …” Hannah’s hand flew to her mouth and she hung her head, her mind spinning. It was a dream; it had to be. The baby, the one she’d loved through the most defining moment of his life, couldn’t possibly be the one Mrs. Parsons was talking about.

Could it?

“I’m … I’m not sure I follow you, Mrs. Bronzan.”

“Thursday morning? At Los Robles Medical Center?”

“Yes. His mother died in the emergency room. He’s been in foster care ever since. I’ve checked out his background, and he has no one. Late Friday afternoon, the judge made him a ward of the court and cleared him for adoption.”

Matt leaned back, searching Hannah’s face for clues. She held up a single finger and closed her eyes. She had to hear it for herself before she could tell Matt. “He … he was wet. He needed a diaper and a blanket and a bottle.”

Mrs. Parsons paused. “Who?”

“The baby. I was there that day. I held him while his mother died in the next room. I prayed for him and sang to him and told him everything would be okay. I wanted to take him home and never let him have another day like that again in his life.”

There was a long pause, and when the social worker spoke, Hannah could hear the tears in her voice. “Then I guess God really does answer prayers. Yours and Milly Wheeler’s.”

Hannah moved her chair beside Matt’s and rested her forehead on his shoulder as her tears soaked through his shirt. “What did Milly Wheeler pray?”

Mrs. Parsons cleared her throat. “She prayed her son would grow up to love the Lord and one day tell people about His miracles.” She paused. “And what did you pray, Mrs. Bronzan?”

“That God would make his home a safe one … that his mother would love him all …all the days of her life.” She brushed her face against Matt’s. “That he would know the touch of a father’s hand and the peace of Christ’s salvation.”

There was silence for a moment, and Hannah knew they were both soaking in the impossibility of what had happened. The social worker broke the silence first. “Does this mean you’re interested?”
Her tone was light and happy, and clearly she was sure of Hannah’s answer before it was spoken.

Hannah locked eyes with Matt and remembered what he’d told her four days ago over dinner. Whatever child God blessed them with would be fine. She smiled through her tears and spoke her answer clearly. “Yes, Mrs. Parsons. We’re interested. How soon can you bring him home?”

They worked out the details, and at the end of the conversation Mrs. Parsons told Hannah the baby’s name. When Hannah hung up, she was at a loss for words. Matt searched her face and chuckled, his eyes brimming with tears. “Why do I have the feeling our life just changed?”

“Remember how I said we had to hurry? Because we needed to meet a baby?”

Matt nodded and wove his fingers between hers.

“Well, we do. But not Jade and Tanner’s baby.” She kissed him, pulling back only enough to study his eyes. “Our baby, Matt. The little boy I prayed for, remember?”

“The one whose mother died …”

“Yes.” She struggled to find her voice. “He’s ours, Matt. And get this … his name is Kody
Matthew.”
She uttered a single laugh and ran her fingers through her hair. “Can you believe it? I feel like I’m dreaming, but it’s true! Mrs. Parsons is bringing him home this afternoon. I prayed that he’d have a safe home, that he’d know his mother’s love and his father’s touch—and the whole time I was praying for—” Her breath caught on a sob.

Matt wrapped her into a hug and held her close. “You were praying for us.”

In the hallways of Hannah’s heart, she could still hear Grace’s little-girl laughter, the laughter of a child they would never know again, a child they would miss forever. But in that moment, she knew again the truths she learned four years ago. Nighttime might
be long and dark, but eventually morning would come, because that was God’s way. His mercies were new every morning.

Just when it seemed like the darkness would last forever, morning would come. Hannah and Matt were living proof of that. In the end, even the bleakest night would always pass away.

Just like God said it would.

H
annah and Matt had less than eight hours to prepare a nursery.

But before they could do anything, they needed to go to the hospital. Jenny had called immediately after Mrs. Parsons to say that Jade and Madison were both doing well. Hannah kept the phone call short and exchanged a knowing glance with Matt. This was not the time to tell her about her new brother.

They arrived at the hospital half an hour later and found Jenny and Ty in the waiting room watching television. Jenny grinned at them. “Nice of you guys to show up.”

Hannah was bursting with the chance to talk to Jenny, but she played along. “You know how I am in the kitchen …”

Jenny laughed and stood to hug them. “Tanner says the baby’s beautiful. Looks just like Jade.”

“You haven’t seen her?”

Jenny tapped Ty’s tennis shoe with her own. “Ty has, lucky guy. Got to wear a gown and a mask and scrub up like he hasn’t done for a year or more.”

Ty chuckled, and Hannah thought he looked tired. He’d probably been more worried about Jade than anyone knew. Hannah smiled at him. “What’s she look like?”

“She’s so tiny.”

Matt patted Ty’s back. “She’ll grow. How’s your mom?”