Authors: Cate Beauman
“Hailey,” he pulled her into his lap, nuzzled her neck, “I’m going to be fine.”
“I know. I’m being silly.” She tried to stand.
“Not silly, sweet.” He moved so he could cradle her. “What do you say we schedule a movie marathon? We’ve tried the last two nights, but for some reason, we never get around to it.”
She smiled. “I wonder why?”
“Let me go talk to the landlord—get a closer look at our digs for the next three months, then we’ll movie marathon it. Ladies choice, of course.”
“Ooh, chick flicks it is.”
He winced. “I thought you wanted me to hurry back.”
Smiling, she pulled his mouth to hers, kissing him lightly, sweetly. “I do.”
He pressed his forehead to hers. How could such a simple gesture undo him so completely? “I want you to stay in the room while I’m gone, with the door locked. Or I can walk you up to one of the restaurants and pay an attendant to walk you back if you’d prefer.”
“You’re worried about the men who’ve been watching us.”
“Not worried so much as cautious.” So far they’d kept their distance, but he also hadn’t left her alone.
“I don’t think we have anything to worry about. They’ve seen we aren’t here to cause problems.”
“I still want to play it safe. I don’t want you out walking around in the dark by yourself at least until we have a better idea of what’s going on with the kidnappings.”
“I’ll stay in. I’ll order in some room service, catch up on my emails, probably call Sarah and check in on the girls. I miss them.”
“I bet they miss you too.” He ran a finger down her nose before he kissed her again and set her on the bed beside him. “I have to get going. The landlord will be waiting.” He stood and grabbed a maroon short-sleeve button-down from the small closet. He concealed his weapon with each button, shoved his cell in his pocket, and headed for the door. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
She hurried over to him and gave him a hug. “Careful, ‘kay?”
“Okay.” Austin pulled her against him, taking in her scent once more, then let her go. He stepped into the brilliant sunset, wishing he could stay to watch the sun sink below the horizon with Hailey. He shrugged off the regret. His job had begun again; there wasn’t much he could do about it. It was time to step back into reality. “Lock up.”
She smiled, nodded, and closed the door.
The bolt slid in the lock. Satisfied, Austin started down the steps. He paused when he spotted the man by the dock, smoking his signature cigarette. Austin hesitated, wanting to go back, but knew he couldn’t. He would have to hope everything was okay while he was gone. There was nothing else he could do.
Hailey watched Austin walk up the path to the hotel. As he disappeared from sight, her gaze wandered to the docks. The man who all but camped by the water stood in his typical spot, smoking. She snapped her curtain closed, turning away with a shiver. She rubbed at the goose bumps puckering her arms. The discomfort of being watched heightened now that Austin was gone.
She walked to the door, tested the lock, then hurried over to the bed, scooping up the remote. She turned on the TV. The canned laughter of the American sitcom comforted her. She needed to get busy before her imagination got to work.
As Hailey settled with her laptop, her cell phone vibrated against the side table. She picked it up, grinning as she read Sarah’s text message
. Heard through the grapevine Austin’s shower is broken. So nice of you to let him use yours. I’m also proud of your dedication to the environment—saving water by showering together?!? I’m missing some major details!!
Hailey texted back.
I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Her phone vibrated again.
Morgan’s coming over tomorrow night. We need a conference call!
I think that can be arranged. How about six thirty?
Let me set my alarm!!
Hailey chuckled.
By the way
, Sarah texted.
I’m so happy for you.
Me too. He’s everything I never thought I could have.
I’ll let you go. Love you. Miss you. Can’t wait to chat.
Ditto. Kiss my beautiful girls for me.
Hailey set her phone down, still smiling, and sighed. Is this what ‘truly happy’ felt like?
Hailey still couldn’t put her finger on how she and Austin ended up in this unexpected, wonderful place. At the end of the day, it didn’t matter. He was here; he was hers. She was going to treasure this miracle for as long as it lasted. She wasn’t a dreamer—or not much of one, anyway. She didn’t have any unrealistic expectations or hopes that her relationship with Austin would last forever. If she began to wonder what it would be like to wake with him every morning, or what it would be like to make a family with him or grow old together, she quickly dismissed the thought. Austin wasn’t looking for long-term—at least not with her.
He came from a traditional, close mid-western family. He had parents still married after decades, successful brothers and sisters married to successful husbands and wives, all with adorable children. A foster kid who’d descended from the likes of a drug addicted street whore didn’t exactly round out a pretty picture for the Casey Family.
If she felt a slice of pain, she shrugged it away. She wasn’t foolish enough to let her past define her, but she wasn’t stupid enough to believe it didn’t define her for other people. Austin might not have a problem with where she came from, but that didn’t mean the rest of them wouldn’t.
Hailey struggled to push the unhappiness away. Nothing would change what was. She adjusted her laptop on her legs, pulling it closer, logged in, and ran a search for articles on the missing sisters from Cozumel. As she read the vague details on the girls’ disappearance, her mind wandered back to Austin.
In less than a week she’d found herself more than a little in love. Was it possible? Could someone really fall so quickly, or was she making too much of her feelings? She thought of the way Austin looked at her, of the way they snuggled on the lounge chairs by the ocean waves, of his patience as they worked on her diving skills, of their long, quiet talks while they lay naked in each other’s arms at two o’clock in the morning.
She pressed her hand to her fluttering stomach as her pulse quickened. Oh, it was possible to love so quickly, because she did.
Hailey stared at her screen, no longer seeing pictures of the missing teens, no longer seeing the words. What was she going to do? How should she handle this?
A knock sounded at the door, distracting her from her thoughts. Frowning, instantly tense, Hailey got to her feet, and peeked through the security hole.
Jeremy. They hadn’t spoken since their argument outside the hotel lobby.
She flipped the lock, turned the knob.
Jeremy stood in his swim trunks, the bruising on his ribs almost completely faded. “Hi.”
“Hi.” Hurt and anger surged to the surface as he smiled at her. His words had cut deep when he made reference to her abandoning him, as he’d done on more than one occasion. He wasn’t about to get away with it.
“Can I come in?”
“I don’t know. Can you be nice?”
Jeremy’s brow rose. “I can if you can.” He started forward.
Hailey held up her hand. “I’m serious, Jeremy. You really hurt me the other day. You don’t get to do that.”
“Do what?”
“Throw our past in my face whenever you feel like it. Remind me that I had to leave you in the hospital hurt and scared. I thought of you every day, Jeremy. Every single day.” The loneliness she’d felt all those years without him still pained her.
“I’m sorry.” He tried to step forward again.
Hailey didn’t see any trace of regret as she looked at him. She held up her hand again. “Are you? Because this isn’t the first time you’ve made a reference to me walking away—as if I had a choice. You were all I had left too, but sometimes I don’t think you remember that.”
“I don’t want to talk about this, Hailey.”
At the moment, she didn’t care what he wanted. She was sick of putting Jeremy’s feelings first—always. Right now, she would take care of her own. “Then leave. I’ve had enough. I’ve spent the last ten years sacrificing for you, and you don’t give anything back. You’ll start now, or I
will
walk away—this time with a clear conscience, because I know I’ve done everything I can to try to have a relationship with you. I’ve tried to help you the way Mom and Daddy would’ve wanted me to.”
Jeremy stared at her, his eyes full of shock, before they darted down. “Why didn’t you come get me?” he demanded. “I spent three-and-a-half years in a hellish boys’ home waiting for you. I marked your birthday on a calendar the year you turned eighteen, sure you would be there the next day. You promised. I tried to be good and succeeded sometimes, but it wasn’t enough. I waited six months, but you never came. By then, I gave up hope and took off with a couple of older kids. I was homeless for years because you lied, because you didn’t keep your promise!”
Tears coursed down her cheeks as Jeremy broke her heart. His eyes met hers with the same vulnerability she’d seen all those years before, when he had begged her not to leave him. Hailey stepped back from the door.
They stared at each other until Jeremy finally walked inside.
“We’ve tip-toed around this since you came back, so let’s stop.” Hailey wiped at her eyes. “I tried to find you, Jeremy; I did. I walked out of the foster home I lived in the day I turned eighteen, collected my inheritance from the bank, and took a bus to L.A. After I found a job, I contacted a private investigator. I ended up taking a second job cleaning at the university to pay for him. He never found you. Even when he told me he’d done all he could, I wouldn’t let him stop. You vanished from the system—a runaway. There was nothing more I could do.”
“You tried to find me?”
“
Yes
, I tried to find you. I’ve told you that on the few occasions we’ve actually tried to talk about this, but I guess I should’ve told you everything. The PI tracked down the address of the boys’ home you’d lived in, but we were two weeks too late. You had already run away. When he gave me the news, I was still hopeful he would find you, but as the days and weeks went on, I started to realize it was hopeless.”
She grabbed a tissue, blotted her eyes, blew her nose. “Some days I was afraid you’d forgotten about me. Other days I was afraid you hadn’t. You were so little when I had to leave you. Sometimes memories fade.”
Hailey breathed out a deep shudder as she confessed one of her most troublesome secrets. “There are so many wonderful things I remember about Mom and Daddy, but sometimes I have to work hard to remember Mom’s laugh or the way Daddy’s eyes looked when he smiled. I’m so afraid I’m going to forget some small detail, some small something that meant everything to me as a child.”
Jeremy handed her another tissue. “I don’t remember as much as I wish I did, as I want to. I remember impressions more than anything—Mom and Dad making me feel safe. I remember their kindness, but I didn’t have as much time with them as you did. We got screwed—big time. We should’ve had more time with them, Hailey.”
She balled the tissue in her hand. “I know. I wish we had. I wish they were still here. Everything might be different.”
Even as she said it, staring at the brother she’d longed for, she couldn’t fully regret the events life had thrown their way. Austin’s clothes hung in a closet next to hers. His bathroom supplies lay jumbled on the counter with hers. If she breathed deep, she caught a whiff of him on the air. Would she be standing here right now if the last decade had played out differently? Her time with Austin had been worth every moment of anguish she’d encountered over the last ten years. For the first time since she’d sat in the car with her parents, warm under her blanket, content with her family, she felt home. Austin had given her a small slice of what it felt like to be home again.
As the thought struck, she glanced at Jeremy, realizing she could live without him. She loved him and always would. She wanted him in her life, but he needed to prove he belonged there—family or not.
Over the last two-and-a-half months, and his visit prior, he’d done little to show her. He’d stolen from her, lied, had been deliberately cruel. She wouldn’t tolerate such behavior from anyone else, so why from Jeremy? It was time to lay it on the line. Hailey took a steeling breath, realizing he might walk away after their conversation. “We need to talk.”
“Uh oh.” He tried a smile.
“Come sit down.” She sat, patting the cushion on the couch next to her.
He sighed. “All right. What’s up?”
“What’s up is I can’t keep doing this with you, Jeremy. You’ve been back in my life for almost three months now, and parts of it aren’t working for me.”
He rushed to his feet. “What the fuck does that mean?”
“Don’t curse at me.” She struggled to stay calm. Jeremy’s volatile temper always made her uneasy. “Sit down and
talk
to me like an adult for once.”
He exhaled sharply, then took his seat again.
This wasn’t easy. Sighing herself, Hailey glanced at the ceiling. “I can’t go on like this, Jeremy. Your snarky comment Tuesday morning was the last straw.”
“Is this because of Austin? Did
he
put you up to this?”
She narrowed her eyes as her own tempter heated. “This has nothing to do with Austin and everything to do with me. Maybe this isn’t going to work. I’ve wanted you back in my life since the moment I had to let you go, but things have to change. We’re both adults. I can’t keep looking at you as if you’re a helpless nine-year-old, and you have to stop looking at me as the almost-adult who abandoned you. We’re here now. We’re both grown. This is where we have to start.”
“This is where I want to start.” He fidgeted in the seat. “I knocked on your door because I want to take you to dinner.”
Her eyes flew to his, surprised. Hope tried to sneak into her heart, but she guarded herself against it. “I think I’ve heard that one before.”
“I mean it this time. My boss wants to meet you. I’ve been bragging about my big sister since I started working for him.”
Despite the turn their relationship had taken, Hailey couldn’t help but smile. “It’ll have to be tomorrow night or Friday. Project Mexico begins Saturday afternoon.”
“Actually, I was thinking tonight.”
“Tonight? Jeremy, I’m not dressed for a night out. I can’t meet your boss right now.”