Guardian (The Guardian Trilogy) (13 page)

I gasp
and pull away quickly, clutching my hands together and holding them to my
stomach.  I try not to appear frightened but when I look up at him, I know I
failed.

He
closes his eyes and his face falls.  “I’m sorry,” he whispers.

Words
escape me.  “I…no…I’m okay,” I stutter.  When he doesn’t open his eyes, I start
to panic.  What if he thinks it’s too much for me to handle and he leaves?  “Please
look at me,” I plead.  “I’m not afraid.  I’m not.”

He
opens his eyes and they reflect his worry.  “Are you sure?”

“I’m
not sure exactly what I feel,” I say.  “But I know it’s not fear.”

James
gives me a tiny smile and appears to relax a little.

I want
to touch him so badly.  I start to reach out toward him slowly.  I can see him
tense up.  “What are you doing?” he asks.

I
freeze mid-reach.  “Can’t I touch you?  Now that I know?”

He
looks surprised.  “I...I didn’t think you would want to.”

I smile
at him, to reassure him, and continue my reach.  I lay my hand against his face,
and he closes his eyes, pressing his cheek against my hand.  I feel nothing against
my palm, but a chill runs through my arm, like a cool breeze.

“You
feel so warm,” he sighs against my skin.

“You
can feel me?”

“Just
warmth,” he answers and opens his eyes, smiling.

“How
does this work?” I ask him, bewildered.

James
shakes his head.  “I wish I could explain it to you.  I’m still learning
myself.”

“Learning
what, exactly?”

“How to
be a Guardian.”

I gaze
at him, stupefied.  “A what?”

He
smiles at me.  “There’s so much I want to tell you.”

“So
tell me.”

“It’s a
lot.”

“I can
handle it,” I nod enthusiastically.

“I have
a better idea, for tonight anyway.”  He steps closer to my bed.  “You should
get to sleep.  You have to be at work in the morning, right?”

I give
him an incredulous look.  “Really?  You’ve returned from the dead and you want
me to go to sleep?”

He
nods.

“So I
won’t be late for work?”

He nods
again.

“That’s
not going to happen,” I cross my arms in defiance.  I’m finding it incredibly
easy to fall into our old routine.

“Just
get in the bed,” James scolds.

I roll
my eyes at him.  “Am I allowed to change?  Or must I ‘pretend sleep’ in my
clothes?”

He laughs. 
“I’ve missed your stubbornness.”

Annoyed,
I march to my dresser and pull some pajamas from the drawer.  “Turn around,” I
order him.

“Why?”

“So I
can change.”

His
eyes blatantly travel from my head to my toes.  “It’s not like I haven’t seen
it before.”

My face
flushes.  “You weren’t a ghost before.”

“Guardian,”
he corrects me.

“Whatever. 
Whatever you are now, you weren’t that then.”

“I was
the other day in the shower,” he winks at me.

My
mouth falls open in disbelief.  That was the first time I’d heard his voice. 
“You were really there?”

He
nods, a big grin on his face.

The
realization hits and my mouth snaps shut.  “You.  Were.  There.” I growl at
him.

“What?”
He looks confused.

“You
should use your powers for good, not evil,” I say sarcastically.  “Spying on
naked women.  You should be ashamed of yourself.”

“Naked
woman,” he corrects me again.  “Singular.”

I give
him a dirty look and turn my back to him.  As I change clothes a huge smile
breaks across my face.  I want to hug myself.  He was really there!

“Okay,”
I turn back around, now in my sleep shorts and t-shirt.

“Turn
off the light,” he tells me.

Instantly
I pout.  “I won’t be able to see you.”

“I’m
not going anywhere, I promise.”

I sigh
and walk over to flip the switch.  When I turn around, I see nothing but
darkness.  I start to walk around to the side of the bed where James was
standing, arms outstretched.  “Where are you?”

“I’m
right here.”

His
voice closer than I anticipated and it startles me.  “Geez!”

“Sorry,”
he immediately apologizes.  “Now, get in the bed.”

I pull
the covers back and crawl in, lying in the middle, on my side, like always. 
“Now what?”

“Don’t
jump,” he says calmly.

What’s he
going to do?

Slowly,
creeping from the top of my head, over my shoulders, along my back, and down my
legs I feel the chill.  It stays there, and a branch of the chill spreads
across my stomach, over my arms.  It feels cold, but also heavenly.

“What
are you doing?”  I’m barely able to whisper.

“Are
you all right?” he asks softly.

I nod
into the pillow.

“I
thought I would stay with you tonight, if that’s okay?”

A tear
escapes my eye and runs down my cheek.  “It’s more than okay.”

“You’ll
probably want to pull the covers over you,” he whispers in my ear.  “You might
end up shivering if I keep holding you like this.”

I do as
I’m told.  The warmth of the blankets and the chill of his body are the perfect
balance.  My entire body wants to sing; I feel so peaceful.

“How
can you do this?” I ask quietly.

“What? 
Lie here?”

I nod.

“Right
now, for me, it takes a great deal of concentration.  Most of my energy has to
stay focused on remaining in this exact spot.”

“What
do you mean ‘right now’?”

“Certain
things will get easier, as time goes on.”  The chill that lies against my arm
starts to move.  I visualize James running his fingers to my elbow and back
down to my wrist.

“Why
didn’t you reveal yourself to me sooner?”

 “I
wanted to, but I had to be taught how.  In the beginning, all I could do was
watch you.  I wanted to show you I was still around so badly, but I had to
learn to speak to you first,” he pauses then snickers.  “Your reaction in the
shower was priceless.”

I try
to elbow him in the gut, but my elbow hits only cool air behind me.  “I’m glad my
thinking I was going insane entertained you!” I hiss quietly.

“Aw,
don’t be upset.  Besides, you could only be one kind of crazy,” he teases.

“And
what’s that?”

“Crazy
about me, of course.”

“Oh,
of
course
,” I say sarcastically, but I can’t help it and let out a quiet
giggle.

“Talking
to you is still hit or miss; I don’t know how I’ve managed to speak with you
this long tonight.  It has to be tied to the manifest in some way…” he voice
fades in thought.

What? 
It’s hard to wrap my mind around what he’s telling me, but I’m trying to keep
up.  “If things are hit or miss, how do you know you’ll be here tomorrow?”

“I’ll
still be here,” he promises.  “I’m always here.  You just can’t see or hear me
all the time.  Maybe it will be easier for me, now that I’ve had a successful
manifest.  Obviously tonight’s attempt has gone very well,” he says, his voice
full of pride.  “Garrett will be pleased, although he probably won’t be happy
with how long I’ve stayed with you.”

“Who’s
Garrett?” I ask, confused.

“My
Guardian.”

I think
I understand.  “Your teacher?”

“Both.”

“He
will be angry with you?” I can’t help myself and a yawn escapes.

“He
only gave me permission to try and show myself – manifest – at the cemetery,”
he sighs.  “I had to talk him into letting me; it’s still very early in my
learning for that big of a step.”

“Why
did he allow it then?”

James
laughs softly.  “I haven’t shut up about you since I...” his voice trails off. 
“I think he got sick of my nagging and caved in.  And then, after you fainted,
I couldn’t leave you without trying again.  I had to make sure you were all
right.”

“Well,
when you see him, you can tell him it’s my fault.  Thank him for me too.”

“Will
do,” he says quietly.  “Now, try to go to sleep.”

My eyes
pop open.  “To see him again means you have to leave?”

I feel
the chill along my body grow more intense and then release, as if James hugged
me and then let go a little.  “Yes, I will have to return to Garrett and my
Guardian study because I’m bound to the option I chose.  But I can always find
you.  As time goes on, it’ll be easier to understand.  I hope.”

I try
to make sense of everything, but my mind is overwhelmed.  Option he chose?  “I
think you’re going to have to write this down for me.  But I trust you.”

“Good. 
Now, go to sleep.”

“No.  I
just got you back.”

“Yes.” 
I feel the chill intensify in a concentrated spot on my cheek and then
disappear.

“Did
you just kiss me?”

“Yes.”

The
cool air moves against my neck, and I picture him nuzzling me there.  I lean
toward the chill and smile.  “Kiss me again please.”

He
complies with my request, but on my temple this time.  And then again, under my
ear.

“You
came back to me,” I murmur.

“We aim
to please,” I can hear his smile.  “I love you,” he whispers.

“I love
you too.”

“Go to
sleep.”

“So
demanding,” I mumble.

The
chill intensifies along my body again, and eventually I allow sleep to overcome
me.

I’m too
hot.  I break free of the blankets that are wrapped around me like a burrito.  The
air outside my bed feels cooler.  A lazy smile spreads across my face as I
remember last night.

My eyes
fly open, and I spring upright, realizing the chill of James is gone.  I look
around the room, searching.

“James?”
I ask quietly.  “Are you here?”

Silence.

“James?”

Nothing.

“Say
something!”

My heart
sinks as I hug my knees to my chest.  A heavy feeling of loneliness settles
over me.  Last night wasn’t real, was it?

Of
course it was
, my mind taunts me. 
Your dead boyfriend
returned to you as a ghost – NOT!  You’ve been Punk’d by your broken heart!

Defeated,
I close my eyes and rest my forehead against my knees.  I expect the few tears
that escape.  I remember the feeling of him lying next to me, his voice, his
smile.  It was a wonderful delusion while it lasted.  I know I shouldn’t but I
wonder how to make it happen again.

I pick
my head up and wipe away the tears.  I glance at the clock.  I need to start
getting ready for work, but I remain tied to my bed.

“What’s
with all the drama?”

I
quickly scan the room.  “James!  What…where are you?” I whisper, panicked, when
I can’t find him.

“Don’t
worry; I’m here.”

“Where?”

“You
can’t see me right now.  Seriously Em, calm down, you’re going to give yourself
a stroke.”

I take
a deep breath.  “When did you leave?  Why did you leave?”

“I had
to go this morning.  Listen,” he sounds distracted.  “I’d love to stay and talk
right now, but I can’t.  I’ll find you later tonight, okay?”

“You
promise?”

“I swear.”

“Okay,”
I say quietly to the air.  “Love you.”

“Love
you t…” It sounds like he’s cut off.

I finish
wiping the last of my tears and think about what he said.  I pry myself out of
the bed and begin to get ready for the day.  As I do, a grin slowly spreads
across my face.

Last
night really happened!

“All
right!” Shel says, slamming her hand down on the counter.  “What’s going on?”

I look
at her innocently. “What do you mean?”

“Something’s
up.  You’ve had this loopy smile on your face all day and now you’re
humming,”
she winces.  “It’s annoying.”

I can’t
help but smile at her some more.  “So now I’m too happy for you?  Make up your
mind!  Happy or depressed, I can’t be both.”

She eyes
me suspiciously.  “I’m forced to choose happy.”  She crosses her arms.  “So
what gives?”

I want
to shout from the rooftops that James has returned, but I force myself to
respond in measured words.  “I’m just feeling…you know…better.”  I shrug.

“Better?”
she asks.  “Just like that?”

I try
to act casual, like it’s no big deal.  “Just like that.”

“I
guess that’s a good thing,” she narrows her eyes and goes back to cleaning the
counter top.  “But could you stop with the humming?”

“Whoa. 
Somebody’s in a bad mood.”

Shel
stops wiping and sighs.  “This Matt thing has me really messed up.  I can’t
stop thinking about it.  I need to be sure he’s not mad at me.”

Just
then, two people walk in to the main concession area.  I look past Shel and
mutter, “Ask and you shall receive,” nodding toward the entrance.  Matt and his
friend Dane have arrived.  My eyes catch Dane’s for a split second, and I
quickly look away.  Hopefully, I can refrain from acting like an idiot today.

Shel
catches my drift and looks a little surprised.  She rearranges her face to look
nonchalant then turns around.

“Hey
there!” she greets the guys.  Matt stands off to the side, his hands stuffed in
the pockets of his cargo shorts, pretending to be interested in the posted menu. 
He says nothing.

Dane
gives a small wave and leans over the register slightly.  “I’m glad to see
you’re feeling better,” he smiles at Shel conspiratorially.

Matt nervously
clears his throat and shoots him a look out of the corner of his eye.  Dane appears
to understand his unspoken message.  “We’ll have two hot dogs, please,” he
orders.  “I’ll have a Coke, and, what did you want?” he asks Matt.

Matt
looks up, irritated, like Dane should know better.  “The same.”

“Oh,
yeah, two Cokes,” Dane smiles, and his eyes light up.  I was right the other
night by the fire.  His perfectly tousled hair is dark brown and his eyes are a
rich hazel.

Shel
rings the order.  “That will be $8.50,” she says politely, but when she turns
to me, her smile fades and her eyes widen.  “You got the dogs?” she asks as she
heads to the cooler.

“Yep,”
I say and turn to grab the buns.

“Hey
Emma.”

I turn
and give Dane an embarrassed nod.  “Hey.  Golfing today?”

James
laughs sarcastically in my ear.  “No, they stopped by because this is the best
restaurant in town.”

I try
not to appear stunned in front of Dane
again
and relax my face.  I
glance out of the corner of my eye to make sure James isn’t standing next to
me.  He’s not.

“Yeah,
figured I’d drag Matt out for the afternoon,” Dane smirks.

I
finish up with the hot dogs and bring them to the counter.  “Here you go.”  I
hand him the food.

“Thanks,”
he takes one and hands the other to Matt, who has yet to say anything to us.

Shel
returns with the Cokes and sets them on the counter to take Dane’s cash.

“So,”
Dane says as he collects his change from her.  “Since you’re both here, I might
as well ask.  What are you two lovely ladies doing tonight?  Care to double?”
He glances at Matt with a wicked grin.  “I have some lawn furniture at my house
that needs christening.”

Matt nails
Dane with a murderous expression.  “Dude!”

Dane
holds out his hands, “What?”

“This
lovely lady already has plans tonight,”
James growls over my shoulder.

Shel quickly
turns to me and mouths, “What’s going on?”

I shake
my head and shrug.

Matt
lets out an exasperated sigh and his shoulders sag.  “Shel, can I talk to you
outside for a minute?”

She rounds
the counter and Matt hands his hot dog to Dane, following her outside.  Dane
chuckles and takes a bite.

“What’s
so funny?” I ask.

He
chews then answers me.  “I’m just giving him a hard time.  Whether he wants to or
not, he needs to talk with her.  He’s been sulking since Friday.”

“Really?”

Dane
nods emphatically.  “He just needed a little push, that’s all.”

“That
was a little push?” I smile.  “Looked more like a shove to me.”

He laughs. 
“I knew he wouldn’t just stand there and do nothing if I said what I did.”

“Sneaky.”

Dane smiles,
but then his look turns serious.  “Listen, I want you to know that I wasn’t
asking you out for real.  I would never do that.”

I can’t
help it and my face falls, hurt.  Not that I care, but that was kind of mean.

“Wait! 
That came out wrong!”  His face turns red.  “Of course I want to take you out! 
No!  What I mean is…”

“It’s
okay,” I mutter and start to walk away.

“No! 
Wait,” he reaches across the counter and grabs my arm. 

James
growls in my ear.

“What I
meant to say was that I’m sorry about your loss,” he says in a rush.  “Matt let
me know about his friend...your….James,” he finishes.  “I’m sorry.”  He looks
sincere.

“It’s okay.” 
I give him a weak smile and he lets go of my arm.

“Damn
right,” James snaps.

Worry
clouds Dane’s model-like features.  “I’m not that big of a jerk, I swear.” 

“That’s
debatable,” James mutters.

I shake
my head at both James and Dane’s comments.  “I don’t think that.”

“You’re
sure?” Dane asks.

“I’m
positive.”

His
face relaxes.  “Good.”

“Excuse
me?” another golfer has arrived at the counter.  Dane grabs his food and drinks
as he moves out of the way.

It
seems like I serve quite a few more customers while Dane stands at the end of
the counter, finishing off both his and Matt’s lunch.  I find it uncomfortable
trying to work while he stands there looking at the TV, looking at me, back to
the TV, back to me.  I glance at the clock.  Where are Matt and Shel?

Dane
notices my observance of the time.  “Taking a while, aren’t they?”

“Should
we be worried?”

“Nah,”
he shakes his head.

The
minutes pass.  I look at the clock again.  Our shift ends in fifteen minutes. 
I decide to close out my drawer and get things ready for the next employee.

“You’re
off at five?” Dane absentmindedly asks.

“Yep.” 
I’m anxious to get home.  A shiver of excitement runs through me at the thought
of seeing James again.

Dane
hangs out at the end of the counter for the next fifteen minutes until Katie
shows up for the evening shift.  Doesn’t he have anything better to do?  Where
the hell is Shel?

“Hey,
Emma,” Katie says as she comes around the corner.  “Busy today?”

“Not
too bad,” I smile as I grab my bag and Shel’s things.  “Everything’s all
restocked.”  I walk out from behind the counter.  “Have a good night.”

“You
too,” she says and her eye catches Dane walking up to me.  She shoots me a questioning
look.

“I’ll
walk you out,” he says.

James’
voice sounds menacing over my shoulder.  “The hell you will!”

“Uh…that’s
okay,” I stammer.  “I need to find Shel anyway; she’s my ride.”

“Funny,
Matt rode with me,” he smiles.  He reaches around me and holds the door open.  “Let’s
find them together.”

James
snaps, “Persistent, isn’t he?”

I have
to fight to keep a straight face.  Why is he acting like this?  I take two
steps toward the door and wave at Katie.  “See you next week.”

She subtly
nods in Dane’s direction and mouths, “He’s hot!”

I roll
my eyes at her as I walk out the door.

When we
get outside the pro shop, I don’t immediately see Matt or Shel.  Dane follows
me as I turn and head in the direction of the parking lot.

“Any
idea where they might be?” I ask him.  I really want to get home.

Dane
looks around.  “Nope.  I figured they’d be right here,” he frowns.

I
continue around the pro shop to where they park the golf carts.  The area is
pretty empty this time of the day.  There’s no sign of them.  “Maybe they’re
already by the cars?” I ask hopefully.

Dane
shrugs.  “Lead the way.”

We pass
the clubhouse on our way to the parking lot.  I can see Shel’s car amongst the
others but no Shel or Matt.  My heart sinks.  Where are they?

I stop
walking and cross my arms, looking around.  “Where could they be?” I whine.  “I
really need to get home!”

“If you
need to get going right now, I’ll take you,” Dane volunteers.

“I bet
you will,” James seethes.

“Ah,
no.  That’s okay,” I look around.  I wish James would knock it off.  He’s distracting
me.

“Hey,
look at it this way,” Dane says.  “Their talk must be going well.  Maybe good
enough for them to disappear, if you know what I mean.”  He winks.

A loud
“Ew!” escapes me before I can stop it.  Dane laughs and I can’t help but laugh
along with him.

Suddenly,
we hear a loud scream and our laughter is cut short.  I look at Dane panicked because
I’ve heard that scream before.

Outside
Louie’s Roadhouse.

It’s
Shel.

In a
split second Dane and I are running in the direction of the clubhouse.  We hear
Shel scream again and halt.

“This
way!” Dane points to the right and takes off running.

I try
to keep up with him as he runs along the side of the building, but I fall
behind a few feet.  He makes it to the corner before me, turns, and
disappears.  I kick it into high gear to catch up with him and when I speed
around the corner, I slam right into his back.

“OOOF!” 
I lose my footing and fall to the ground.

“Emma!”
Dane turns around.  “Are you okay?”

How
embarrassing!  I blink up at him and instantly try to stand.  “Yeah, yeah, I’m
fine.”

“Here, let
me help you,” he reaches for my hand.