Ghost of a Chance Book 1 in Above the Grave Trilogy (2 page)

Drew was trapped in her own secret world, a world
where no men were allowed. Shedidn’t mind putting the act
on when she was bartending. Of course she knew the more you
flirted and the more you let peek out around the edges the more
tips you got, but that was as close to men as she would ever
get. She had had many phone numbers slipped her way and
many propositions that most women would die for, but not
Drew.

She could blame that one on her first step-father. She
had been a very beautiful blonde headed, blue-eyed little girl.
Everyone would tell
her
that
she
looked like an angel.
Somehow, she never let it go to her head. Her step-father had
been obsessed with her and he had taken that obsession just a
little too far. Drew still had her virginity, but she had been
about a half of a second away from losing it at twelve years
old. She hated him from the first moment that she met him and
yet her mother had refused to listen to her when she would tell
her just how uncomfortable he would make her feel.

One night, her mother found out for herself when she
walked in on her step-father about to ruin the rest of all of their
lives. Drew was glad for her mother’s sake that it didn’t
happen. As far as Drew was concerned, it may as well have
happened and it was never going to happen again.

“Drew, you know you can talk to me about anything.”
Liza said sitting up now on the balcony floor. She noticed that
Drew had gone off into one of her dream lands again. The Ivy
leaf that Drew had been rolling around between her fingers
now looked like a ball of mush and Drew’s finger and thumb
had turned green.

“Oh, I’m fine… really.” She said to Liza as she looked
skeptical. “I’m just really tired and very hung over.”

“Ditto. I think it is more than that though, and I wish
that for once you would just tell me what is on your mind. You
have known all of my life long secrets since we were fourteen.
Don’t you think that it is time that you let me in even just a
little bit?” Liza held up her thumb and pointer as if to indicate
that
she
really
did mean it
could be the tiniest
bit
of
information.

“Liza, you sound like a jealous husband.” Drew said
rolling her eyes then turning back to the city.

“Well, Drew, sometimes I feel like I am a worried
parent with you, and we have been together longer than most
couples stay together anymore so why not? Just talk to me.”

Drew stared at what she could see of the top of the St.
Louis Cathedral. She loved Jackson Square. She loved New
Orleans. She had been born and raised in Hammond, about an
hour north of New Orleans. Her mother would bring her to the
market at Jackson Square though every chance she got when
she was a child.
Drew had made friends with the local artists.
The painters, singers, piano players, even the mimes would
wink silently at her as she walked by, she loved them all.

She remembered being
about
six years old and
standing in front
of a very old building and listening to
someone play the piano, it was the most beautiful music she
had ever heard and it had been coming from one of the
windows above. (Later, she heard the same tune being played
in a movie and had to blink the tears back as she refused to
cry.)
She watched an old man draw a painting of the building
in front of her at the same time. It was almost like magic. The
man’s brush strokes seemed to match the beat of the music. He
drew her into the picture and then handed it to her. Her mother
tried to hand the man some money but he wouldn’t accept it.

Drew thought about that now.
Knowing that was
probably the man’s only income and he wouldn’t accept her
payment for the drawing. He had said with a toothless smile
that it was for the little angel who had given him the inspiration
that was sure to last him for the rest of the day.

“Do you ever wonder why at twenty
-five years old, I
am still a virgin?” Drew said still staring out at the buildings.
Drew’s shoulders shot up then as if she were expecting a blow.
She was usually very careful about what she said when it was
about her, this time it just fell out of her mouth.

If Liza had been standing up she was sure that she
would have fallen right back down. Never in the eleven years
that they had known each other had the subject been brought
up. Sure, every now and then they would joke about making
out with guys or how Drew had never been in a serious
relationship. Liza had just assumed that what Drew did behind
closed doors was something that she kept to herself.
How
could she be her best friend and never know that she had never
had sex with anyone?

“Drew, I am as plain Jane as they get and I have a
husband and three kids at twenty-five. How can you still be a
virgin when you have the body of an underwear model and the
face and hair of an angel?”

Drew laughed and turned to sit down in front of her
closest friend and the only person that she had ever talked to
about what was getting ready to be said in her life.

“First, and most importantly, you are not plain Jane.
You are very beautiful and you know it. Do you remember that
day that I beat the crap out of Kelly in the 7th grade?”

“Of course I do. I think that you have gotten
me in
enough trouble since then that we should be pretty much even
by now though.” Liza laughed, but the laugh didn’t quite make
it to her ocean colored eyes.

“Did you even know who I was before that day?”
Drew asked.

“Drew, you were the strange girl who
always sat in the
corner by yourself at lunch and who would rather go to ISS
then read a report or answer a question aloud in class.
If
anyone spoke to you, you would turn your head and pretend
not to hear them. I remember following you around like a lost
puppy until you finally broke after the “Kelly” day.” Liza
sighed and took a moment to calculate her words. “You have
been a different person since then though. You are fun and
outgoing and everyone that knows you loves you.
Though,
sometimes I think that you make people a little uncomfortable
when you aren’t in your element.”

“Why do you think I stay around here? Everyone is
weird around here. I fit right in!” Drew smiled.

“You aren’t weird, Drew. You are definitely different,
but you aren’t weird by any means. Now, are you going to tell
me why it is that you are still a virgin or are you going to make
me follow you around for the next two weeks to get you to
open up again?”

Drew laughed starting to relax a little. “Yes, I was
getting there.
The reason that I was such a loner before that
day was because just two years before I was almost raped by
my stepfather.”

Liza gasped. “Drew! Oh my God! What happened?”

“Well, I was twelve years old and my mother had been
remarried for about 3 months. I tried and tried to tell her that
the guy was a creep. He just gave me a really bad feeling, you
know?” Drew paused to light a cigarette and to take a moment.
She had never spoken about this to anyone and she knew that it
was time to get it all out.
As uncomfortable as it made her,
there was a huge change coming and she thought that if she
talked about her past, maybe it would help her ease into the
future. “He was constantly trying to get me to sit on his lap
and he even would beg to brush my hair after my bath at night.
Mom kept saying that he was just trying to be a dad, but at
twelve years old that was just a little too much.”

“That is something that you do with a six year old,
Drew, not a twelve year old.” Liza said still in awe.

“Yes, I know.
I knew it then to. Anyway, one night
my mom called and said that she was going to be working late
at the diner because of some big meeting that they were
supposed to have. I took my nightly bath and put on my robe
and headed for the bedroom. Jack,” Drew shuttered at his
name. It was the first time she had said it in many years, and
just to prove that she could, she said it again. “Jack, my step-
father at the time, was sitting on my bed whenever I got out of
the bathroom. He said that he thought it would be nice if he
could tuck me in since my mom wasn’t there. My mom
stopped tucking me in when I was five.” Drew’s eyes started
tearing up now.

In the many years that Liza knew Drew, she had seen
her cry only one other time and that was when she ran away
from home at sixteen.
Her mother was getting re-married.
Liza understood now why Drew had been so upset. Either she
had been worried about her mother, or she couldn’t bear going
through another “daddy” again. Either way, she now
understood, years later, what Drew must have been going
through in her poor mind.

“I told him that I was too old to be tucked in and asked
him to please leave the room so that I could put my pajamas on
and go to bed. He got up then and said that he would help me
with my pajamas. I told him that I was a big girl and to please
get out. He said, “Alright then, let me just have a hug good-
night.” His slimy hands undid my robe then and he pushed me
down on the bed.”

Drew was shivering now. Liza reached for her hand
and nodded her head in an effort to let her know that it was ok
and to go on. She hated to see her friend like this and really
didn’t want to hear the rest. She thought that it was probably
time for Drew to get it out after so many years of holding
something so terrible in and continued to listen.
Her eyes
which normally looked so light and easy going looked cold
now. It was definitely time to get rid of what must have been
weighing her down for so long.

“I remember how soft his hands were. Like a creepy
soft. Do you remember “Of Mice and Men” when the man
kept his one hand in a glove of Vaseline all day for his woman
at night? Creepy.” She paused again then swallowed hard.
“He cupped my breast with one hand and was undoing his
pants with the other. I remember feeling his “man-hood” on
my inner thigh. He was almost there, Liza!
My mom came
running in when she heard me screaming from the driveway.”

Drew laughed and tried to shake off the fit of hysteria
that she felt coming on. “I had a beautiful lamp that my real
father had bought me when I was only four.
It was like a
Cinderella doll with a gorgeous dress and it was big and heavy.
My mother picked that thing up and knocked him right square
in the face with it. She wrapped my robe around me then and
told me to go to the bathroom, lock the door, and get dressed
and not to move until she came and got me.”

“What happened to the asshole?” Liza said through her
own tears that she hadn’t realized had fallen and through teeth
that were close to cracking from grinding so hard.

“He was arrested. Last I heard he was living
somewhere in Michigan. He is on the child molester list or
whatever. I don’t know and I don’t really care. I wish I could
go back in time and cut his damn balls off though. If my father
wasstill alive the man wouldn’t have stood a chance.”

Drew barely remembered her real father. He had died
when she was very young, but she liked to imagine that if he
and his mother had been divorced instead of him dying, he
would have come and rescued her. It wasn’t that she blamed
her father of course; she just wished that things could have
been much different.

“So, you are afraid of men now?” Liza asked.

“No. I’m not afraid of men.” Drew put her arms
around herself and shivered again. “The thought of having a
man touch me like that again literally makes me want to puke
though.”

“What about making out with Bobby and that one guy,
what was his name, John, in high school? Remember the night
at the lake and the drive through?” Liza asked.

“I never made out with those guys.” Drew said rolling
her eyes as she was getting back up now and heading into the
house. She looked back at Liza, “I just told you that so you
wouldn’t feel bad about losing your virginity in the back of
Ernie Miller’s mom’s station wagon.” She ducked in the house
now as she saw Liza reach for the coffee mug that was sitting
on the table next to her. About two seconds later she heard the
mug shatter against the brick wall of her apartment building.

“You bitch!” Liza laughed following Drew inside. “I
haven’t thought about that pimple faced creep in forever! Now
I am sure I will have nightmares! Have you ever even kissed a
guy?”

“You mean besides the assholes who try to slip one in
on me when I am bartending? No. I have had no desire, Liza.
Does that make me a freak?”

“I think it makes you need to go out and get laid and
find out what you are missing, chick.”

They both laughed at that.
Liza knew that Drew was
done talking about it now as she watched her start digging out
her paintbrushes. She didn’t think that there was anything in
the world that she could say to Drew that would help her any
more than just letting her get it out. She realized that there was
just one more thing that she needed to know though.

“Drew?” She said quietly.

Drew set down her papers and looked up at Liza. She
was hoping that Liza didn’t want any more details about that
night. Drew hadn’t eaten anything yet and really hated getting
dry heaves. She was already on the verge of throwing up.

“You aren’t like, into girls are you? You, know, like a
lesbian?” She explained when Drew looked confused.

Drew turned and walked to her then. She put one hand
on Liza’s cheek then and the other one gently on her butt and
watched as Liza’s mouth dropped to the floor. She said, “I
have been waitingso long for this moment.” She leaned in
then and smacked Liza hard on the open mouth.