Read Future Queens of England Online
Authors: Ryan Matthews
“Oh, I love all the drama!” Gareth tittered.
“I’m so confused,” Tony said with exasperation. “I give up!”
“A man can do what he wants, but not want what he wants,” Uwe commented wisely.
“George!” Hugh called, “I love you!” He shuffled out of his row, apologising as he stepped on people’s toes. “George!”
Hugh’s Dads, Brad and Ron, stood up and began to clap, soon the whole room began to cheer and Hugh scooped George up in his arms and squeezed her tightly.
“I’m so sorry darling, I realise what an idiot I’ve been. I’ve been so set on becoming famous that I just lost sight of what really mattered most to me. I can’t believe you’ve stood by me through all of this.” He kissed her on the lips passionately and pulled her tightly against him.
“Alright, alright! That’s enough,” the Head’s voice boomed out of the PA system. “I suppose that we can all accept that you’re not really one of us but none of us need to see such blatant heterosexuality flaunted in front of us, so please put her down.”
Hugh put George down and bowed apologetically to the room.
“So, he may not be a future queen of England, but he certainly is a drama queen,” the Head chuckled, “but let’s get back on track now and let the graduation ceremony commence.”
A fanfare played over the speaker system and four teachers ushered up the first two rows of students. They walked across in single file to the side of the stage and waited for their names to be called.
The teacher at the foot of the stage whispered into the student at the front of the queue’s ear, “What’s your name?”
“Anthony Goodwin,” he replied quickly.
The teacher then cleared his throat and spoke into a microphone at the side of the stage, “Please welcome our first graduate Anthony Goodwin!”
He then gave the student a little push of encouragement and Anthony made his way up onto the stage. He walked across to the Head and shook his hand, they paused for a moment as several camera flashes fired off and then Anthony was signalled to leave the stage.
“Lawrence Faconti,” called the announcer and Lawrence made his way onto the stage.
“Jesus Christ,” Keenan moaned, “aren’t there four hundred students here? This is going to take forever.”
“Shhh,” Uwe said, “you should only moan that it’s a waste of your time if you actually have something better to do.”
“He’s got a point,” Gareth tittered winking at Keenan.
They all sat back and waited for their turn and did their best to enjoy the moment.
Eventually the teachers signalled for their row to stand and make their way to the front of the hall. They duly made their way forward and lined up single file as they had seen the other students do. At the front of the queue they were asked to give their names, Gareth gave his name and the announcement was made. Gareth made his way up the steps and toward the Head, he shook the Head’s hand and waited for the flash to go off before leaving the stage.
The announcer then asked Uwe for his name, when he gave this the commentator looked at his clip board and asked Uwe to wait at the side.
“For what purpose should I wait?” Uwe complained.
“No time to explain now,” the announcer said hurriedly before looking at the next student in the line, “name?”
Giles responded and was nudged up onto the stage.
“Name?” the announcer asked.
“Tony Horwood.”
The announcer nodded and spoke quickly, “Could you just wait to one side please next to that chap?”
Tony frowned but obeyed and went over and stood next to Uwe.
“What do you think this is about?” Uwe said irritably to Tony.
“Frith knows,” Tony replied simply, “but I guess we’ll find out in a minute.”
Keenan and the rest of the line made their way up onto the stage whilst Uwe and Tony watched and waited impatiently.
As the last student made his way off the stage the Head spoke once more, “Ladies and Gentlemen let’s hear it one more time for our graduates.”
The applause erupted as the families, friends and students clapped, whistled and cheered. When the noise eventually died down the Head spoke again.
“Now as you can see we have two more students who we still have to call up onto the stage. These two young men have shown themselves as exemplary students and therefore will receive a special award in addition to their normal graduation. So let’s hear it for the first of our special students, Uwe Schachtschnieder!”
Uwe smirked and strutted up onto the stage, he pursed his lips and puffed out his chest as he soaked up their applause. One of the teachers approached him and clipped a microphone onto Uwe’s lapel. He made his way to centre stage and the Head took his hand and shook it vigorously.
“Uwe Schachtschnieder that’s a mouthful isn’t it?” the Head said pronouncing it badly.
“I think you’ll find it more than a mouthful,” Uwe retorted making a public display of the skills he’d learned in his ‘British Innuendo for Overseas Students’ classes.
“Quite, quite,” the Head replied. “So Uwe, you’ve shone like a beacon in all of your classes, you were on the hockey team and played a key role in us winning the league, you helped mentor your fellow students.” The Head took a breath. “The list just goes on and on. We’d like to honour you with this special award of ‘Most Outstanding Student’.” He stood back and gave a little clap, the rest of the room quickly joined in. “Though I must say that this is the first time that our top Future Queen of England isn’t actually English.”
“Surely this just follows in the tradition of this country, since the Queen is German too isn’t she?”
The brief sound of laughter echoed off the walls.
“Okay, the room is yours. Would you like to say a few words?”
“Naturally,” Uwe said and turned his attention to the audience. “Although this institution is known to be the greatest in the world of its kind, part of me still wondered what on earth it could teach me. When I arrived I had the impression that it would be like teaching Grandma to fuck eggs.”
The crowd sniggered childishly.
Uwe raised one eye brow inquisitively, though oblivious to another of his malapropisms, but he continued unimpeded.
“But I have learned to put aside my prejudices of this island. Over the past year you have made me one of your own and for that I am truly grateful. I have learned to love your self-defecating humour,”
Another snigger from the assembled mass.
“Though I will never truly understand it. But as I stand here today I feel like I am one of you now and even though I will return shortly but to Germany I want you all to know that a part of my heart will be forever England.” He bowed graciously as the crowd gave a heartfelt round of applause.
The Head stepped forward and presented Uwe with a plaque, “Please accept this award and know that you truly deserve it.” He shook Uwe’s hand once more.
“Thank you Uwe and we wish you all the best in the future.” Another round of applause ensued.
A teacher shuffled over to Uwe and unclipped the microphone from Uwe’s lapel. “Please wait over here,” the teacher whispered and pointed Uwe to a chair behind where the Head stood. Uwe made his way over and took his seat, pleased that he was allowed the accolade of remaining on the stage for a while longer.
When the applause had died down the Head spoke once more.
“Our final student is a strange fruit! Against all odds, he is graduating with excellent marks in all areas and, believe it or not, actually received the highest score ever in our homosexual humanities exam.”
The students let out an impressed, but tongue-in-cheek “oooo.”
“What makes this so unusual is that he isn’t gay but he definitely is one of us. I guess that you all know who I am talking about, so without further ado please put your hands together for Tony Horwood.”
The room erupted in applause and Tony self-consciously made his way up the steps and onto the stage. As Tony’s standing ovation continued the Head awkwardly tried to shake Tony’s hand, but quickly realised that this was impossible so settled for patting him on the back. The applause and cheers showed no sign of dissipating and in fact seemed to grow stronger. So the Head took a step back behind Tony and heartily joined in.
As Tony stood there listening to the applause he looked around the auditorium and studied their faces. He realised that he’d given up what he once loved for something that he’d once hated. As the crowed whooped and whistled he started to become a little overwhelmed. So before he lost control he gestured, as best he could, for them to stop. This only seemed to encourage them and the noise grew louder.
Tony began to choke up and took a few deep breaths. “Guys! Come on, you’re killing me up here,” he said with a smile. “I’d like to say a few words.”
The applause petered out as everyone took their seats again eager to hear Tony’s words.
He coughed and began. “I’ll try and keep this short and sweet. I want to thank you, I want to thank all of you. I never thought I’d be saying these words. When I was sentenced to come here a year ago I could not have imagined anything worse. Yet here I am today saying that this has been the best year of my life.” He paused for a moment as his eyes searched for Louise’s face in the crowd. He quickly located her within the non-teaching staff section and made eye contact with her before speaking again. “If someone had told me last summer that I would find love at gay school, well, to put it simply I would have punched their lights out.” He took a moment to reflect on how true this last statement actually was. “No one from my old life even recognises me. They say that I’ve changed, not only from the outside, but from the inside too. Not all of them think that this is a change for the better, but they’re wrong. And I’ve never been happier. When I look at all the things that I have learned here and the benefits that came with it I feel…well I can’t put it into words. The friends that I’ve made here are going to be friends for life. And I like the idea of being acquainted with you all for another selfish reason, now when I am at a party with friends and I say something slightly homophobic, I can dismiss it by saying some of my best friends are gay. I like to think that this is my get out of jail free card. So, I guess tomorrow is the beginning of my new life, I’ll stop talking now since I had better start preparing to leave here forever.”
The crowd applauded once more and several students wiped their eyes, overcome with emotion.
The Head stepped forward clapping and walked over to Tony, “Thank you for those touching words, but don’t go anywhere yet. We still have to give you your award and today we have a special guest to present this.”
From somewhere backstage the magistrate strode out and walked over to Tony. He threw his arms around him and squeezed him tightly. “Thank you. I don’t know what would have happened to me that night if you hadn’t have saved me.”
Tony blushed, but was unable to push him off. “Alright mate, that’s enough. You’re embarrassing me.”
The magistrate loosened his grip, “Yes, of course, of course.” He stepped back and spoke, “I effectively would like to give you two things. The first is your plaque for your outstanding performance this year.” He placed it carefully into Tony’s right hand. “And the second award is your freedom! By graduating you’ve completed your obligations and are now a free man!”
Tony smiled and nodded his head in appreciation, “Now that I like,” he said over the sound of applause.
“Settle down, settle down,” the Head called. “I’d like to call the members of the hockey team up onto the stage to receive their trophy too. Come on lads, where are you?”
From various places around the room Keenan, Paul, James, Uwe, Hugh and the others made their way up to the stage.
“Ben, come on. As team manager you need to come over to accept this too.”
From the teachers area on the side of the stage Ben walked over and joined them.
“Well done boys,” the Head cheered, “and congratulations.”
He handed the trophy to Uwe, the vice-captain, who held it aloft as they danced about on stage in celebration. The students became to chant in victory too.
“One more thing,” the Head said to Tony. “We’d like to make you an offer.”