Future Queens of England (41 page)

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Authors: Ryan Matthews

BOOK: Future Queens of England
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The away team let out a cheer and their captain made his way to take his flick.

“Look at the size of that thing,” Hugh said in awe.

“Cut the chatter and prepare yourself,” Tony ordered.

Hugh gulped, “I have a bad feeling about this.”

The umpire blew his whistle and the massive nemesis
stepped into his flick
.  The ball left the ground and flew towards the goal.  Hugh dived at the ball, but reacted too late.  The ball made it
quickly into the back of the net.

“One-nil,” screamed the away team captain, as he pointed at Tony.

“Oh frith,” Tony muttered in despair.  “Bruce, you’re next.  Don’t
balls this up!”

Bruce took his position, “No pressure then?”  He shook his arms and hopped on the spot as he mentally prepared himself.

“Stop time wasting,” the goalie called.

 

Bruce picked up his hockey stick and prepared to take his shot.  Just as he was about to swing a tinny melody began to play out.

“What the hell is that?” Tony called looking around for the source.

As the noise got louder the teams turned to see an ice-cream van turning into the car park next to the playing field.  The tune got louder and louder as the van approached the field.  The vehicle pulled up and there was a moment’s delay before the serving window slid open.  Louise leant out of the window and made an announcement.

“Free ice-cream for all hockey players!” she bellowed at the top of her voice.  “But this is a limited offer, I’m only here for the next few minutes.  So hurry, hurry, hurry!”

The weight watchers team began to twitch.

“Get your delicious, mouth watering, creamy, creamy ice-creams now!” she called out to the players.

“Guys, stay focused and remember your weight watchers points,” their team captain called, realising he now had a new battle on his hands.

The away team ignored their captain and entered into a frantic discussion.  Team Queens watched as they started to perform calculations using their fingers.

“If I skip lunch and dinner, then I could have a couple of ice-creams,” one of them said.

“Well, that doesn’t take into account how many calories we’ve burnt in this game,” another said.

“You’re right.  So, how many points does that give us?”

“Focus!  Focus!” cried their captain in exasperation.  “Please!” he begged.  He listened to Louise shouting and his mouth began to salivate.  Using all of his self restraint he shouted at his team, “Come on guys, stay strong.  A moment on the lips a lifetime on the hips.”

Tony laughed, “Oh my god!  She’s a genius.”

Uwe scratched his head.  “Where on earth did she find an ice-cream van in the middle of winter?” he said with puzzlement.

“Hey, who cares?” Keenan squealed.  “Let’s just finish this.”

Bruce nodded.  “Ready?” he called.  He took aim and launched the ball straight past the distracted goalie and into the back of the net.  “I got him, I got him!”

“Alright Bruce, don’t get cocky.”

“One-all,” the umpire declared. 

Tony turned to face Hugh.  “You can do this, we believe in you.”

One of the away team took his position.  He placed the ball on the spot and took aim, but before he could swing Louise rang out the ice-cream van music once again.  As the hockey stick
began to lift the ball, the away team player looked up.  His stick made contact with the ball, but it jolted and curved,
missing the goal by a long way.  The home team let out a cheer.

Uwe quickly picked up the ball and took his position in front of the away team goal mouth.  The goalie steeled himself for the shot, and Uwe raised his stick.  He held it aloft waiting for his moment.

Louise leant out of the window again and shouted, “right!  If no one comes to get their delicious free ice-cream in the next ten seconds, I’m leaving.”

The goalie looked over at Louise, “Oh, screw this!”  He removed his gloves and threw them onto the floor then began to waddle across to the ice-cream van.

“That’s it.  Come on over, don’t be shy!” Louise called.

Several of the away team also left the pitch and ran after their goalie, with a new found energy towards the ice-cream van.

“No, come back!  It’s a trick,” screamed the away team captain, but it fell on deaf ears.

“Yahoo! Tony cheered.  He looked over at Uwe, “You’re all clear kid, now’s let’s blow this thing and go home!”

Uwe
flicked the ball with the grace of an eel and the ball glided through the air and found its target with absolute precision. 
He
bowed to the umpire, “
y
ou may make your announcement now.”

The whistle blew to signify the game was over and T
eam Queens rushed towards Uwe and lifted him up onto their shoulders.  As they sang and carried Uwe back towards the changing rooms
, Tony turned towards the ice-cream van.  He watched Louise handing out i
ce-creams in the freezing cold to the
ir opponents
.  He waved to her and smiled and she returned his smile coyly.

“Omie’s!” Tony shouted at the team
, as they danced away.  “I
t’s time for you to zhoosh me up and make me look fantabulosa, old Tony’s got a date!”

 

 

Chapter Twenty
One

 

“Good morning my nearest, dearest and queerest,” Ben sang out as he entered the classroom.

“Good morning, Ben,” they chorused.

“Before we start our day’s proceedings, let’s have a round of applause for our hockey team.”

The class all began to clap. 

“So, Tony, you and the boys are through to the semis now,” Ben said with excitement.

“And talking of semis, Tony’s got a date this weekend thanks to us winning,” Bruce interrupted.

“Shhh,” Tony said raising his forefinger to his lips.

“Ah, yes, Tony and his mystery woman.  We never did get to the bottom of this did we?” Ben said, hoping Tony would spill the beans.

“I thought we were talking about hockey?” Tony said, trying to quickly change the subject.

“Yes, sorry that was nosey of me.  You’re right, Tony.  So, do you think you can go all the way?” Ben inquired.

“You’re still talking about my date aren’t you? Tony muttered grumpily.

“Oh, I’m just teasing darling!” Ben said with a wink.  “Seriously, do you think you can go all the way to the finals?”

“Well, we’ve gotten this far, haven’t we?  So, I reckon we can do it.”

Ben clapped his hands together, “Oh, the Head will be so pleased.  We’ve never made it this far into the competition before.”

Hugh tapped Tony on the shoulder, “If Louise agreed to go on a date with you for getting to the semis, then imagine what she’s going to offer you if you get to the finals.”

“Shut the frith up, Hugh,” Tony barked.

Ben’s face changed suddenly, “Oh, Tony, I really wish I hadn’t heard that.  I had suspected that something was going on between you two, but I just turned a blind eye.  Now you’ve put me into a really awkward situation.”

Tony turned to Hugh and pushed him off his cushion, “Nice one, Hugh.”

Ben looked at Tony.  “I am so sorry, but I have no choice other than to notify the Head.  It’s written into our contracts.  We cannot date students and we are obligated to report any inappropriate behaviour too.” 

“But Ben, I am sure the circumstances are different, aren’t they?” Gareth said, coming to Tony’s defence.  “I mean, Tony is here under very special circumstances.”

Ben shook his head, “Rules are rules.  Tony may be a special case, but the rules still apply.”

“Look, can we end this discussion please?” Tony said firmly.  “Just get on with the class, Ben,” he said, irritably.

“Yes, yes, of course,” Ben said, his tone changing.  “Let’s get started.  Today we’ll start on gay humanities.  Let’s start with a fact, did you know that one in ten people are gay?”

“And one in three people are Chinese, but Tony’s neither,” Bruce shouted out.

“Very droll, Bruce.  Do you have anything more to add or shall I continue with the lesson?”

 

 

“Are you still going through with it?” Gareth asked, as they walked back to their dormitory.

“Of course I am,” Tony replied, “and what’s more you’re going to help me choose an outfit.”

Gareth pushed the door and held it open for Tony.  They walked into the dorm and headed for Gareth’s wardrobe.

“Right, what have you got that I can borrow?” he said rifling through Gareth’s collection of shirts.  He took a few items that caught his attention and threw them onto Gareth’s bed.

“Careful, Tony, these shirts cost a few quid,” he picked them up off of the bed and straightened out the creases before carefully laying them back down again.  “You should wear my black suit, with my red shirt and a black tie.  The suit will show that you mean business and the red shirt will subliminally let her know exactly what that business is.”

“Whoever thought a gay boy would be helping me get laid?” Tony chuckled to himself.

Gareth tipped his head to one side, “I guarantee that you’ll look amazing, but I don’t guarantee that you’ll be getting your end away.”

“You take care of your side of things, and I’ll take care of mine.”

The door opened and the rest of the group wandered in.

“Oh, here he is, ‘Mr Frithing-big-mouth’,” Tony growled as he looked at Hugh.

Hugh walked up to Tony.  “Look mate, I am so sorry.  I wasn’t thinking.”  He tried to pat Tony on the shoulder, but Tony shrugged him off.

Sensing the tension in the air, Keenan spoke up.  “Come on, Hugh.  Let’s go down to the library and do some study.  The exams are coming up soon and we’ve got start our revision plan.”

Hugh took the hint and followed Keenan out of the room.

Gareth looked at Tony, “Don’t be too hard on him, Tony.  He didn’t mean any harm you know.”

Tony nodded reluctantly.  “I know.  I’ll have calmed down by the time he gets back and I’ll speak to him then.”

“Okay, fine.  But don’t lose sight of why you are here.  Remember you need to pass this course and that means you need to study.”

“There’s plenty of time for that, but I want to bang Louise so much.  So, I need to focus my energy in that direction for the time being,” Tony explained.  “Have you got some shoes to match this?”

Gareth tutted, “Of course I’ve got the shoes to match, and yes you can borrow them.  But listen to me Tony, you’ve got a lot of reading to do on gay humanities.  Why don’t you do some study now and then you’ll be free to concentrate on getting your leg over.”

Tony shrugged, “Fine.”  He picked up his bag, “Let’s go and join them in the library then and get this out of the way.”

Gareth followed him, “For the first assignment on history, and this is only a suggestion, maybe you want to research Alan Turing.”

“Who?”

“Look, just do some reading on the Enigma machine, World War Two and how we won the war,” Gareth suggested. 

Tony’s eye lit up, “Yeah, that sounds cool.  Maybe I can pick out a few facts and rub Uwe’s nose in it.”

Gareth held the door open for Tony and they wandered out into the corridor with Tony singing, “One World Cup and Two World Wars, doo-dah, doo-dah!”

 

 

Tony sat anxiously in the corner of the restaurant, waiting for Louise to arrive.  He picked up the menu and flipped through its pages, he tried to read it but was so nervous that he couldn’t take any of it in.  After moving his eyes over the words and prices two or three times he gave up and dropped the menu back onto the table.  Across the room a figure appeared in the door way, instantly Tony sat bolt upright.  As the figure stepped out of the shadows and into the light Tony relaxed and sat back down in disappointment.  He looked at his watch and his stomach turned over. 

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