Funeral with a View (9 page)

“I know, Mom. I’m fine.
Yes. I will. Talk soon. Love you, too. Bye.”

Cat hung up the phone and
flopped on the couch next to me where I sat staring at a her blank TV. First
thing we did once we arrived at her apartment was call out of work. Neither of
us was in the mood to go back after dealing with the shock.

“Jude’s coming over
later,” Cat said, pulling her feet underneath her. “I took the rest of the week
off, too.”

All the necessary
appointments were made before leaving Dr. Ann’s. There was nothing left but the
waiting. Always the hardest part.

“I’ll be in that waiting
room on Friday. You know that, right?”

“You don’t have to do
that, Ricky. Jude said she’ll take me there and bring me home.”

“And that’s fine. But I
still want to be there. Unless you’d rather I not?”

“Of course I want you
there. That would mean a lot to me.”

“Good. It’s settled
then.”

Outside, billowing clouds
peppered a clear blue sky. A bird swooped in and landed on the windowsill. It
stared at me. I stared back. The room was silent.

“Ricky?”

“Yeah?

“How do you feel?”

I’d asked myself the very
same thing once we’d left Dr. Ann’s office. My thoughts were conflicted at
best. There was relief. I felt like we’d been let off the hook, free to pursue
our future at our own pace. No pressure, no forced decisions. There was also a
deep sadness, a sense of loss unlike anything I’d experienced since my father’s
passing. There was also anger. Anger at all the bullshit we’d been through only
to have the rug pulled out from under us. All the stress, pain, and arguments
seemed like such a waste.

I told Cat as much.

She nodded. “I know what
you mean.”

“And how about you?” I
said. “Stupid question. Forget I asked.”

“No, really. It’s fine.
Honestly, I’m feeling pretty much the same as you. I’m not scared anymore. This
may be a shitty thing to say, but with how young we are, and me still trying to
get my MBA, I think this is for the best. It nips so many problems in the bud.”
She sat up straighter and wiped at her eyes. “Even so, I was getting used to
the idea of being a mom. I started to warm up to it. I don’t know. I’m not
making any sense.”

“Sure you are.”

Cat became silent and
stared out the window. The bird flapped its wings and ascended into the sky.

“When I heard that
heartbeat,” she said, “when I saw that picture on the screen, I fell in love,
Ricky. I don’t know why, but I just … did.” She turned to me, her brow furrowed.
“How can that be? How can you fall for something so completely? Something that throws
your life out of whack?” With a smirk, she shook her head. “I sound crazy, don’t
I?”

“You don’t sound crazy.”
I pressed my lips lightly to her forehead. “You sound like someone who’d like
to have a family one day when they’re ready. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

There was a knock at the
door. I beat Cat off the couch.

“I’ll get it. Stay put.”

Jude stood in the
breezeway. She gave me a quick hug and peered over my shoulder.

“Hey, Rick. How is she?”

I tilted my hand left
then right. “So-So. Thanks for stopping by, Jude. Come on in.”

Jude hugged Cat from over
the back of the couch.

“Don’t bother getting up,
sis. I’m in charge here now, and my first executive decision is to order a
metric ton of Chinese food. Once that task has been completed there will be a
trip to the liquor store, followed by a visit to the supermarket where we will
empty the freezer aisle of every single frigging container of Ben & Jerry’s
ice cream they have. You’re in need of a good time. I know these things. I’m
the older and much wiser sister. Arguing will get you nowhere, so don’t even try.”

Catherine gave a teary
laugh. “Sir, yes sir. You’re the bestest sister I ever had, sir.”

“I’m the
only
sister you’ve ever had. But, I’ll take it.”

~~~

I stayed well into the
evening and did my part to help make a dent in the ridiculous amount of Chinese
Jude ordered. No booze or ice cream for me. I had no room for it. Once the veil
of night dropped and the summer bugs started their racket, I’d offered to stay over.
Cat shot me down, but not in a bad way. She wanted to spend alone time with her
sister, an ‘impromptu girls’ night’ she’d called it. I was fine with that. I
understood.

Later, from my own
apartment, I called my mom. She was shocked and saddened by the news, as
expected, but shared in the relief both Cat and I had admitted to earlier. Mom
didn’t mention the obvious complications with Bill being a thing of the past, a
fact I was all too aware of.

It wasn’t an easy call to
make, but I made it anyway. Bill deserved to know what was going on.

He picked up on the third
ring.

“Oh. Hey, Rick,” he said
tentatively. “I was just thinking of giving you a call.”

I bet.

“Bill. I have some news I
thought you should hear. Nature’s stepped in and resolved our issue. Cat had a
miscarriage earlier today.”

“Holy shit. After all
that … it’s just over?”

“Yeah, it’s over.”

A long pause. “Wow. Unbelievable.
How’s Cat doing? She okay?”

“She’s hanging in there.
Torn between sadness and relief. We both are, but it’s much tougher for her,
obviously.”

Silence with a smattering
of static set in.

“Bill? You still there?”

“Yeah, I’m here. Look,
Rick. About what happened …”

“Forget it. Water under
the bridge. It’s small potatoes in the grand scheme of things. We got out of it
all right.”

“So, we’re cool?”

“Yeah, man. We’re cool.
Anyway, I’m wiped, Bill. I just wanted to let you know what’s up. Her procedure’s
on Friday.”

“What procedure?”

I explained what I knew
about the upcoming
D&C
.

“Wow,” he said. “That
sounds brutal.”

“I know. So, I’ll keep
you posted once she’s out of surgery, okay?”

“Thanks. I’d appreciate
that. Let me know if you two need anything. Anything at all. Tell Cat I’m
thinking about her. And Rick, I’m sorry. I screwed the pooch and I apologize. I
mean it.”

“We both did, Bill. Not
the first time, sure won’t be the last.”

Ain’t that the truth.

~~~

I picked up Cat and Jude at
six in the morning that Friday. It promised to be a very long day.

Catherine shifted in the
passenger seat, wringing her fingers together as she stared out the window. “Ugh,
I’m so damned hungry.”

“We know, sis,” Jude said
from the back seat. “But you heard the doctor. No eating after six the night
before, and no water. Kinda like a gremlin.”

I was glad to have Jude’s
company. Leave it to her to inject some black humor into a morose situation. It
helped cut some of the tension we all felt.

Cat’s lips curled at the
corners. “I know. I just can’t wait for this day to be over.”

I couldn’t have agreed
more.

I spent the hours in the
waiting room worried to the point of nausea. Jude and I didn’t say much while
Catherine underwent the procedure. There was nothing to say. While the news
droned on a television suspended in the corner of the room and people came and
went, I played with Cat’s C & R bracelet. It comforted me to hold on to
something of hers, a solid, real symbol of our relationship. As long as I held
it, I felt connect to her.

Cat made it through the
procedure with flying colors. She was tired, sore, and a little out of it, but
she didn’t complain once, either in the recovery room after she’d woken up, or
on the ride home.

Old Zucker Brothers
movies were a steady companion that weekend. They helped keep the sense of loss
at bay. It was a stopgap solution, we both knew it, but the sheer lunacy of
Airplane!,
Top Secret,
and
The Naked Gun
proved the cathartic distraction Cat’s
mind so desperately needed.

The Maddoxes stopped by
Saturday afternoon.

“We come bearing gifts.”
Mary Jo’s voice was cheery, if forced, and she toted a bag filled with a dozen
containers of Chinese takeout. Those containers meant more sit-ups for me, but screw
it. All hail comfort food.

Mary Jo set the bag on
the kitchen table and made a beeline for her daughter. They spoke in hushed
tones.

“Hey Rick.” The Colonel
gave me a hearty handshake. “Thank you for being by Cat’s side during all this.
It means a lot to my wife and me.” Not one for sentiment, his words were
clipped but sincere.

“I wouldn’t consider
being anywhere else right now. You’re stuck with me. For better or worse.”

His moustache angled in a
smile. “I could think of worse things.”

“Boys,” Mary Jo called
from the kitchen. “Come and get it before Catherine and her sister eat it all.
Honestly, girls. Do you two have hollow legs?”

Jude forked Lo Mein onto
a paper plate. “What can I say? Between my students and Rob, I’m a very active
girl. I need the calories to maintain my dynamic lifestyle. Hey, that’s my egg
roll, Cat.”

“Is not.”

“Is too!”

Mary Jo rolled her eyes.
“There’s plenty for both of you.”

“Rick,” The Colonel
sighed. “Have I mentioned to never,
ever
have daughters?”

“I do remember having
that conversation. Quick, let’s get something before they scarf it all.”

The kitchen table played
host to a flurry of plastic forks, elbows, and yelling.

I couldn’t help but
smile.

Everything was going to
be A-okay.

Labor Day: the symbolic
end of summer. A day of picnics and gathered friends. That one last opportunity
to enjoy the warmth of the summer sun before fall intrudes with its promises of
winter.

Cat and I had gotten our
fair share of picnic invites. It was appreciated, but not for us. The
miscarriage a not-so-distant memory, something more intimate and relaxing was
in order. We decided to celebrate the last dregs of summer by ourselves.

Mercer County Park was
one of our favorite haunts, with its three hundred plus acre lake, marina,
tennis courts, bike trails, and recreation areas.

We walked hand in hand
toward the lake where it was cooler. August disappeared with the flip of a
calendar page, but summer held on fast. The sun burned through a smattering of wispy
clouds.

Catherine set a blanket
on a patch of grass; a slight incline not far from the tranquil water of the
lake’s edge.

“This was a great idea,
Ricky.” Catherine lay down on the blanket, ankles crossed and fingers laced
beneath her head. With her eyes closed against the sunlight, for the first time
in a long time, her expression was peaceful. “It’s nice to decompress after
being cooped up. Just the two of us, stretching our legs. Mmmmm.”

My fingers made my way to
my mouth. Rather than gnash them, I sat Indian-style next to her. “Isn’t the
lease up on your apartment soon?”

“Mmm hmmm.”

“Well, I had a thought.
It’s cool either way. I mean, I’ll understand if you don’t want to but ...” I
don’t know why I had such a hard time spitting it out. I studied a patch of
grass that wasn’t all that interesting, desperate to play it cool. “Do you
think there’s a chance you’d like to move in with me?”

A bird chirped, kids
yelled in excitement, a small paddleboat drifted lazily by. Catherine had gone
very still. Between the closed eyes and the steady rise and fall of her chest,
she looked like she’d fallen asleep.

“You know, if it’s too
soon after everything I’d understand if you—”

Out of nowhere, an errant
football whizzed through the air and crash landed between us with a
thump
.
A young, freckle-faced kid of about ten-years-old ran up to us, panting and covered
in sweat.

“Sorry, mister! I told my
little brother not to throw it so hard.”

I flipped the football to
him. “That’s okay, buddy. No harm, no foul.”

“Thanks!” He heaved it to
his brother, a red head who couldn’t have been more than seven. With a fluid
motion, he caught it, smiled, and screamed his thanks before running back to
his group of friends.

When I turned around,
Catherine eyed me with intensity. She propped herself up on an elbow, and the
strap of her black tank top fell to the side, exposing her shoulder. The C
& R charms clinked together as she spun them.

“Are you serious, Ricky?”

My mouth went dry. I
couldn’t read her expression. The corner of her mouth twitched, and her eyes
darted around furtively. Was she thinking it over? Trying to formulate a polite
way to tell me to piss off?

“Like I was trying to say
before we almost got beaned by that football, if you think it’s too soon after
everything that’s happened, or too soon in general, I’ll understand. No
pressure, honest.” I swallowed. “We can pretend this never happened.”

“Yes,” she whispered.

“Say again?”

Her eyes glistened in the
strong sun. “I said yes.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Really really?” What the
hell? Couldn’t hurt to be sure.

Catherine threw her head
back and laughed. “Really really.”

She came to me on all
fours. With a hand on my face, she kissed me, and I almost asked her to pinch
me. I swore I’d been dreaming. Rather than that, I returned the favor. Not to
toot my own horn, but it was a pretty romantic moment, if I do say so myself.
In fact, it was damn near epic until a familiar wayward football came ripping
through the air
again
and connected solidly with my ass.

“Son of a bitch,” I
mumbled. “Someone’s got a rocket for an arm.” I rubbed my ass and spun around. The
ginger-haired little brother waved his hands. “Hey, Johnny Unitas, watch where
you’re throwing this thing!”

“Who’s Johnny Unitas?”

“Ugh. Kids.” I winked at
a laughing Catherine. “Go deep!” I heaved the ball their way. Mini Johnny U
caught it, yelled something incomprehensible, and the brothers took off.

“Nice spiral, roomie,”
Catherine said. She took my hand and pulled me down next to her.

“Thanks. Roomie. I like
the sound of that.”

That was a great day.

Really really.