Frenemies (17 page)
Authors: L. Divine
“No, we never settled it. You bought me a purse instead, remember?” I say, rolling my neck. The neighbors peek out of their windows to see me, once again, outside with my White boyfriend. I wonder if they ever talk shit about me to my mom. If they do, she's never said anything to me about it.
“Jayd, what do you want me to do? Fight Tania for the right to raise her baby? Not going to happen,” Jeremy says, unrelenting in his self-righteous attitude.
“Yes, I want you to fight for something other than your brothers,” I say, remembering how heated he gets when it comes to Reid and his brothers. “How can you not want to be involved with your own baby?”
“Because it's me or the baby,” he says, letting out a painful part of his lineage I know nothing about. “If I keep my name on her baby, my father will disown me, and it's not worth all that, Jayd. Now, can we please drop it?” Damn, now that's heavy. I guess it's not so easy being a trust-fund baby after all. But I still have no respect for his decision or the way he's so cool with it.
“So what about Tania's guilt gifts?” I say, moving on to the next gripe on my list. “She said you used to buy her gifts when you knew something was up and you didn't want to deal with it, especially when it concerned your racist family.” Jeremy's olive complexion turns beet red.
“What about them?” he says, not even denying it. “I say sorry with pretty things rather than words. You act like you don't get to benefit from it, too.” Now, see, that's the arrogant shit I'm talking about. This fool's too much for me.
“You know what, Jeremy, where you come from, that may be okay,” I say, picking up my backpack from the car floor, ready for a hot shower and nap before my long night. This conversation is over, just like our relationship. “But where I come from, that's called bribery, and I'm not for sale.”
“Who's trying to buy you?” he says, sitting straight up in his seat as I open the passenger door, ready to exit his car for what will probably be the last time.
“You are. And you not seeing that is what makes this relationship impossible to maintain.”
“So, that's it? You're breaking up with me because I buy you nice things like this purse you were salivating over last weekend?” he says, reaching in the backseat and pulling out the Lucky bag that won't go away. “What am I going to do with this?” He stretches it toward me.
“That's not my problem. And it's the reason behind the buying, not the action itself,” I say, touching the soft leather. “I told you to return it.”
“I don't return things, Jayd. Besides, it was a gift, and you can't give gifts back,” he says, lifting my chin with the gentlest touch. He kisses me softly, but I'm still too hot to buy into his game.
“And I can't take back my feelings, Jeremy. I'm sorry, I wish I could say that all this doesn't matter, but it does. I can never get over the fact that your family is classist or racist or whatever they are and that you're to chill to really give a damn,” I say, finally getting out of the car.
“Jayd, don't do this. I love you, girl. Get back in the car,” Jeremy says, still not believing it's over.
“Jeremy, I need some space,” I say, trying to let him down as easily as I can without crippling his pride. If I know one thing about dudes it's that they don't like to show when they're hurting. And this is one of those times for Jeremy.
“Okay, I'll check on you later, Lady J. And don't forget your bag,” he says, handing me the purse through the open window before starting the car and taking off. I admit, it was fun while it lasted. But like all things, whether good or bad, they must eventually come to an end. As I walk up the stairs leading to my mom's door, my phone rings. It's Mickey.
“What up, girl? Me and Nellie are going to roll out around nine to pick you up,” she says. I'm so glad to hear her say Nellie's name without any hate in her voice.
“Cool,” I say, sounding as exhausted as my body feels.
“Is everything okay, girl?” Nellie says, chiming in on the three-way call. “You sound awful.” It's been a long day, and I need to wind down.
“Jeremy and I just broke up,” I say, realizing for the first time it's true. Breakups never feel good, even if they are the only option left in a mismatched relationship like ours.
“Well, it's about time,” Mickey says, not hiding her joy. “Now, we can get down to business and get you and Rah back together?”
“Whatever, Mickey. I'll see y'all later,” I say, ignoring her jovial disposition.
“I'm sorry about you and Jeremy, Jayd,” Nellie says, sounding truly sympathetic.
“I know you really like each other.”
“Yeah, but that isn't always enough,” I say, stating the obvious. If relationships were that easy, no one would ever break up.
“We'll catch up with you in a few hours, Jayd. And wear those red boots again. I think Rah likes them.”
“What are you, my pimp now?” I say to Mickey as she and Nellie hang up, leaving me to my mom's peaceful apartment. I need some space before we go out tonight. It feels good to be alone for a change, even if it's only temporary.
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“Where are the boots?” Mickey says as she and Nellie pull up the driveway, bumping Mary J, who's singing my exact sentiments about Jeremy. I wasn't thinking straight to think we were ever meant to be.
“I wanted to chill,” I say. I opted for my black Old Navy roll-up cargo pants and a pink top with some sneakers. Casual is how I'm feeling about everything in my life at this moment. I performed a miniature head cleansing on myself during my shower. I read in Maman's stories about cleansing after separations. And I do feel much lighter than I did a few hours ago. I'm also glad my girls are here and we're going to hang out with my boys. Life is still good, with or without a boyfriend.
“There's chilling, and then there's just not caring,” Mickey says, gesturing toward her body, which displays her gold jacket and belt, with the high mules to match. Her jeans are much tighter than the ones I wore to work today, and I'm sure Nigel will find her outfit very appealing. “Girl, if you're going to get Rah back, you've got to step it up a notch. Them heffas at Westingle don't play when it comes to gear.” Mickey's right, but I've never been one to care about what the status quo is wearing or doing. And it's time for that side of Jayd to come out more. This entire school year has been about what other people think, but that's over. It's time for people to know the real me and for me to stop second-guessing myself.
“Jayd doesn't care what those girls are wearing. She's prettier and smarter than all of them combined,” Nellie says, looking the preppiest of us all in her capri pants and formfitting top. She still looks thin, but her color's coming back, and she looks happier than I've seen her since she got that godforsaken crown.
“Well, thank you, Nellie,” I say, just happy to climb into the backseat of the Regal behind my girls. “And for the record, Mickey, I'm not trying to get Rah back. I'm actually feeling good about not having a man right now.”
“Is that right?” Mickey says, sounding unconvinced. “So that's why you're now sporting the same purse that you just broke up with your ex-man over.”
“Let's just say it was a little parting gift. Besides, you're rightâI did earn this bag,” I say, giving me and my girls a good laugh. And with my job on the line, I don't know when I'll be able to afford a nice bag like this one. If Jeremy wants to give it to me, I'll take it, especially now that we're not together. At least he now knows that bribes don't always work to his advantage.
“I hear you, girl. But I still think you should give Rah another shot. He really loves you,” Mickey says as we pull up behind Nigel's Impala. Rah's Acura isn't in the driveway; he must've stepped out.
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“Jayd,” Kamal says as we walk up the side path toward the back door of the garage turned studio. “I'm so glad you're here.”
“I'm glad to see you, too, little man,” I say, kissing him on the head.
“Hi, Nellie and Mickey. Rah went to the store. He'll be right back, but Nigel and Chance are kicking it already,” Kamal says.
“Well, aren't you a good little host,” I say as we follow him inside.
“Now we can get this party started,” Nigel says, changing the music from some of their beats to Peaches & Herb's “Reunited.”
“Nigga, you crazy,” Mickey says, kissing her man and landing in his lap on the sofa next to Chance. Nigel's eyes look pleased at her outfit, just as I anticipated.
“Hey, Chance,” Nellie says, overly enthusiastic to see him. Maybe after all she's been through with Tania, and with Chance by her side during it all, she's starting to value him for the real friend he is in her life and not just someone to use. She takes a seat next to him on the couch as he nods “what's up” to me. With everyone coupled off, I take a seat at Rah's desk and look around at my friends. Although we have our problems, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.
“Rah, it's about time you got back,” Nigel says, looking toward the back door. As he walks into the room headed straight for me, my heart begins to beat so fast I swear it's going to leap out of my chest.
“What's up, everyone?” Rah says as he picks up the remote controlling our soundtrack. “I want y'all to hear some new shit we came up with this afternoon.” He smiles at me and kisses me with his eyes.
“Yeah, Jayd, I know you're going to love it,” Nigel says. He and Mickey are smiling so big I know something's up. The melodic bass line gets us all in a chill mood before they even start rolling their blunts and sipping their drinks. Rah has mad skills in the studio.
“Where are the words?” Nellie says, stating the obvious as Chance starts the session by taking the first puff.
“All we've got is the hook so far. Here it comes,” Rah says, turning the volume up. “The title is âA Gangster's Dream.' ” As the beat continues, Nigel's hypnotic voice raps the hook, “You might be a weak boy's nightmare, but you're a gangster's dream,” for Rah's new beat, and I'm speechless as everyone looks at me and then Rah, awaiting our responses.
“I don't mean to talk about your boy,” Nigel says, accepting Chance's pass before continuing, “but that White boy was stupid if he thought there was something wrong with you, Jayd.”
“Nigel's right,” Chance says, finally stepping up and being the big brother I've always known him to be. “Jeremy isn't good enough for you, and I love him like a brother.”
“Yeah, but you already knew that, didn't you, queen,” Rah says, taking me by the hand as he kneels in front of me. “You're too strong for him but just right for me.” He kisses my hands and sits down on the floor in between my legs before handing me the small paper bag holding a Snickers bar and black rubber bands for his hair. As I massage his scalp before braiding his thick crown, I know this feels too good to be temporary. However this reality plays itself out, I'm down for the ride.
Epilogue
W
ith my mom still gone for the night, I decided to fall asleep on Rah's fold-out couch with the rest of my crew. As tired as I am, I still can't get any restful sleep. Luckily I've decided to go into work late, so I can sleep in a little longer if need be. Just as I fall into a semi-peaceful slumber, my dream begins, and it's anything but serene.
ith my mom still gone for the night, I decided to fall asleep on Rah's fold-out couch with the rest of my crew. As tired as I am, I still can't get any restful sleep. Luckily I've decided to go into work late, so I can sleep in a little longer if need be. Just as I fall into a semi-peaceful slumber, my dream begins, and it's anything but serene.
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The shiny black Monte Carlo pulls up alongside the football field, causing the few people in the bleachers to take notice of the classic vehicle tweaked out with limo tint. The license plate reads G 4 LIFE, and I know it's my girl's man without the confirmation apparent on her petrified face. What's Mickey's boyfriend doing at football practice? He's never been up here before, not even to escort her to a dance, not that she usually goes to them all. This can't be good.
When Nigel and the other players return from their water break, the windows on the almost cloaked vehicle open, and someone starts to shout out at Nigel.
“Nigel!” Mickey shouts, but not before her man steps out of the vehicle and rushes to the field with two other dudes right behind him. Mickey runs onto the field from where we're seated on the sidelines, and I follow with Nellie and Chance right behind us. Unfortunately Rah's nowhere in sight, and we're no match for Mickey's man and his crew.
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“Jayd, you still going to work?” Rah says, whispering in my ear as the rest of our friends still sleep. We've been lying here for hours.
“Yeah,” I whisper back. Should I tell him about my dream right now?
“I'll take you back to your mom's and then to work whenever you're ready,” he says, falling back into place next to me on the crowded bed. What am I going to do about Mickey's man snatching Nigel up at school?
Remember what I told you, Jayd: separate your emotions from your visions. Then you'll be able to master your powers,
my mom says. She must not be having a very good time in Vegas if she's got time to be all up in my head.
my mom says. She must not be having a very good time in Vegas if she's got time to be all up in my head.
I always have time for my baby,
she says, still here. I've got a lot of work to do on myself. And, even with Rah back in my life, he doesn't need to be my man. Not yet, anyway. It's time for some me time, and I'm ready to claim my powerful heritage fullyâfiery attitude, drama and all. And I must do it alone, for now.
she says, still here. I've got a lot of work to do on myself. And, even with Rah back in my life, he doesn't need to be my man. Not yet, anyway. It's time for some me time, and I'm ready to claim my powerful heritage fullyâfiery attitude, drama and all. And I must do it alone, for now.
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