Forty-Four Box Set, Books 1-10 (44) (32 page)

I didn’t tell her, but I had a strong feeling that she would be offered the job. And I was finally okay with it. I was learning to accept change.

I finished my shift and grabbed my stuff in the back. The owner, Mike, was up on a ladder, hoisting a large burlap bag onto a shelf.

“Bye, Mike,” I said, taking off my apron and hanging it up on the rack.

“See you tomorrow, Abby.”

It wasn’t that late yet, but the sun didn’t seem as bright and was already falling out of the sky. It was hard to get used to it, summer slipping away and autumn coming. But some of the leaves were already changing and there was a nip in the air.

I walked down Bond Street and then over to the library to return some books for Kate.

***

Even though summer was officially over, it was still busy. The locals, especially the older ones, had come out of hiding and were taking back their town. People were walking their dogs and the restaurants all seemed to be doing good business.

And I was dropping off some books.

That’s when I saw him.

In the trees by the library parking lot, standing there, watching me.

I jumped at first, my heart thundering hard and fast in my chest. My breath disappeared. Tears welled up fast in my eyes.

It couldn’t be him.

But he kept staring as he walked toward me. He was still wearing that damn baseball cap.

It was him.

“Hey, Craigers,” he said, coming in close.

I looked up into his gray eyes. He didn’t look away. I couldn’t move.

Jesse.

CHAPTER 49

I couldn’t stop crying.

He was in front of me.

Standing right there.

I reached out and touched his face.

Jesse.

I was frozen. Confused. Breathless. I couldn’t stop staring at him.

“Craigers, you gotta say something,” he said. “And you gotta breathe.”

He didn’t look any different. He was exactly the same as I remembered.

I was spinning.

“Jesse?” I finally whispered, forcing the words out. “Is it really you?”

“Yeah, it’s me, Craigers.” He gave me a long hug. “Please. I know you’re in shock. But come with me. I need to talk to you and I don’t have much time.”

He took my hand and we walked over to the park, found a bench, and sat down.

“I can’t believe this,” I said.

My head was light. I couldn’t think straight.

“Come on, Craigers, you’ve seen ghosts before. It’s not so crazy.”

He laughed a little, but then was serious again.

“But where have you been?” I asked.

We embraced again and I was lost inside him and never wanted to let go. He smelled the same, felt the same. And I felt safe in his arms.

It was true. He was real. Jesse was real.

I touched his face again, my fingers sliding down over his lips.

A harsh wind blew into us.

“I remember our kiss at the lake. I love you, Jesse. I want you to know that.”

“I know that, Craigers.  I love you too.”

He stood up.

“But something’s coming,” he said. “That’s why I’m here. There’s a darkness gathering around you.”

 “What are you talking about?”

“I don’t know exactly,” he said, sitting back down. “You don’t see it, do you?”

“No,” I said. “I don’t.”

Two women went by with a little dog.

“Is it Annabelle? Is she coming back?”

“Let’s walk for a while,” he said.

I smiled as he took my hand and pulled me up. It was the same Jesse. Never able to sit for long. I was surprised he didn’t have his basketball.

We walked alongside the river. He put his arm around me and pulled me tight as we headed over to the bridge, the wind blowing some dead leaves across our path.

“I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too, Craigers,” he said. “But I had to leave.”

“I know,” I said. “I figured they wouldn’t let you stay.”

Jesse was quiet. We walked to the middle of the bridge and looked out at the river. We stood watching the ducks swim by, watching the trees sway.

“I’m sorry, Craigers. But it was the only way.”

The sun was nearly gone but there was still a lightness in the sky.

“What do you mean, it was the only way?”

He looked at me, his sad eyes large.

“You needed to move on. You couldn’t live your life being in love with… with whatever it is I am now. I had to leave.”

I pulled my hand away.

“You’re saying you had a choice?”

Jesse was quiet. I was cold suddenly. I started shivering. And what he was saying made me feel even colder.

“I did it for you, Craigers. I did it because I love you.”

I looked up at him. Anger, hot and quick, shot through me.

“That’s not love.”

We stood apart, quiet. I tried to calm down.

“It was for the best,” he said, moving closer. “And it wasn’t easy, Craigers. Do you know how hard it’s been, being away from you? Do you know how much I love you still? But there wasn’t a choice. Not a real one anyway. You can’t give your life over to a ghost. Staying away was the right thing to do. I did it for you.”

I moved a few steps back.

“It’s been hell without you here. You’re saying you left me on purpose, that you could have stayed?”

He adjusted his hat, pushing it down tight on his head. I walked off the bridge and he followed.

“Craigers,” he said. “It’s like I told you back at the lake, you don’t need me anymore.”

“How could you say that? I’ll always need you.”

My face was hot with fury, the tears flowing from my eyes. He could have been with me this whole time. But he had chosen instead to break my heart.

Again.

I stopped and turned away, looking off at the water.

“How could—” I began.

But he was gone.

I ran, ran until I couldn’t think anymore. Ran up a steep hill, ran until my breathing drowned out his voice.

I didn’t know where I was going and I didn’t care. When I stopped, I stared out at the lights twinkling in the city below me.

He had decided our future and I never had a say.

I would have loved a ghost. And I would have loved him forever. I
would
love him forever.

“Damn it, Jesse,” I screamed into the darkness. “Damn it!”

When there were no more tears left, I started back. I walked in a daze down the hill, past the bridge, and then to the Jeep.

I didn’t see Jesse in the parking lot.

And I didn’t want to.

CHAPTER 50

It took me a few days to realize that Jesse was right. My anger was gone and replaced by a searing guilt that kept me up at night. I was wrong for getting so angry at him for doing what was best for us. Maybe one day we could be together, but not now. I couldn’t be in his world and he knew it was wrong to stay in mine.

I had acted like a child.

I was glad that I had a job and was working a lot of hours. It helped me get my mind off everything.

I wanted to see him, even if it was just once more.

Only to say that I was sorry.

***

I looked for him over at our park in the morning and then at the library on the way to work. On my break, I walked around downtown hoping to bump into him. I whispered my apologies in the wind, hoping they would reach his ears even if he didn’t come back.

I knew now that he still loved me and that it must have been hard to stay away.

I also realized that I hadn’t completely healed from the accident. I still had to let go of Jesse’s ghost. That would be the last and hardest part.

I wandered over to Back Street. I still had 10 minutes left on my break and sat outside at one of the tables and checked my phone. Kate had called and left a long message saying they had taken her out sightseeing and she had seen the Statue of Liberty and the World Trade Center Memorial.

Jack Martin had called too, reminding me about our indoor game that night.

I inhaled and ignored my jittery stomach. I stared at the numbers on my phone. And then I called Ty.

He didn’t pick up, but I left a message inviting him out to dinner on Friday night. My treat.

I walked back in and finished my shift, feeling a little better.

CHAPTER 51

I drove over to the indoor soccer arena thinking about the plastic turf. In our last game, I had gotten a nasty burn when I was pushed down by a crazy girl with long hair. This was the first season I had ever played indoors. It was fun and all, but nothing like real soccer.

I turned on Empire and pulled up to the large warehouse. It was nice seeing the familiar cars in the parking lot. I zipped up my jacket as I walked toward the doors. The stars were out, bright in the cool black sky above.

It was an easy win, 3-1. I scored one of the goals with Tim’s help.

Jack handed out Gatorades to celebrate the win. I finished most of it, grabbed my stuff, and then headed out.

My heart raced when I saw him standing in the parking lot. Jesse was by the lights.

He had come back and I had another chance.

“Jesse,” I said, running over to him.

He smiled. He still didn’t look like a ghost.

“I’m so sorry,” I said. “I totally overreacted. It’s just that I’ve missed you so much.”

“I know, Craigers,” he said, looking at me. “I understand. You have to know that I did it because I love you. More than ever.”

“I know that now,” I said.

“But I’ve come back for another reason.”

“What?”

“The black energy—”

Cars drove by, their headlights like spotlights.

Jack suddenly walked up.

“Good game, AC,” he said.

He didn’t see Jesse. I could tell. I smiled. But when I turned back, Jesse was gone.

I knew he would come back. And when he did, we would figure it out. We would find a way to make it work.

***

The Jeep wouldn’t start.

I tried it again as Jack walked back over.

“That doesn’t sound good. What’s up?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “It’s not starting.”

“Probably just the battery. Let me grab my cables.”

The parking lot was nearly empty now and Jack moved his truck over to the Jeep. He hooked up the two cars and we tried to get it going. But it still wouldn’t turn over.

“Let me try one last thing,” he said.

He fiddled with something else as the last car left. But it was no use.

“I’ll run you home, Abby,” he said, smiling. “No big deal. We can come back with a new battery in the morning.”

“That would be great.”

CHAPTER 52

It must have been in the Gatorade that Jack handed to me after the game.

I had been in and out of consciousness for hours.

“I feel sick,” I mumbled.

“You’ll be okay, Abby. Just relax. That’s the best thing you can do for yourself right now.”

I was in the backseat, tied down. Jack was driving. It was dark. Dark and empty.

The lights of the highway fluttered by like in a dream. My mind was heavy. Fuzzy. But I knew that if I had any chance to save myself, I had to remember the landmarks. I had to stay awake and pay attention to where he was taking me.

We drove for hours. I tried to hang on to the things we passed. The neon reindeer sign in Portland. The Columbia River crossing into Washington. The capitol dome in Olympia. The Space Needle.

Heavy metal drilled through the car and into my throbbing head. My wrists ached.

“Jack, what are you doing?” I asked, still groggy and nauseous. “Where are you taking me?”

“I’m just the courier,” he said. “Bringing you from Point A to Point B. Everything will be fine. Like I said, you just need to relax.”

We drove on in the dark. I was tired and then I let go, falling away with the distant lonely sound of foghorns lulling me into a deep sleep.

When I woke again, we were moving, but not moving. It was lighter out, but dull. I looked out the window. Rain poured down from the sky onto the water.

Another foghorn.

We were on a ferry.

I caught his eyes in the rearview mirror, watching me.

“Who the hell are you?” I said.

“I’m a doctor, Abby. I specialize in research.”

He leaned over the seat and put duct tape over my mouth and pushed me down on the floor.

“Even this early there are a lot of people on this ferry. We wouldn’t want you to call out and spoil things.”

My heart raced.

“He’s excited to see you,” he said. “He can’t wait. He’s flying in tomorrow.”

Nathaniel.

He was delivering me to Nathaniel.

THE END

Forty-Four Book Three

by

Jools Sinclair

Copyright © 2012 Jools Sinclair

You Come Too Publishing