Forty-Four Box Set, Books 1-10 (44) (19 page)

And if I hadn’t gone up there with him, Jesse would still be alive.

That last part hurt. It was like she had sliced me open and pulled out my heart. Because truthfully, sometimes I wondered about the exact same thing.

“You know, you owed me more than that, Abby,” I remembered her saying before she walked away. “That was so wrong.”

As I watched her leave that day, it came to me that in some ways this town had broken her too. The fact that Jesse and I had been together made for good gossip. Besides dealing with the pain of Jesse’s death, Amanda was embarrassed that her boyfriend had been with another girl.

Seeing Amanda now was a reminder of those things I didn’t like to think about.

I looked over at Kate who had been trying to get my attention, raising her eyebrows and signaling with her head that we should leave.

“Let’s get out of here,” she whispered.

We walked out the door.

“She must be back for summer break,” I said.

“She’s holding grudges. She gave you a real nasty look back there. I would advise to just stay away from her.”

CHAPTER 7

It was another good day on the river. I didn’t see the ghost and I was hoping that maybe it was just an isolated incident. After the third run down the rapids, a dad came up and thanked me, handing me a twenty dollar bill. Before putting it in the tip pot at the end of the day, I did a little bragging about it to Ty.

“Of course you got a fat tip,” he said matter-of-factly. “You’re my protégé. It’s all because of me. I’ve taught you well. That’s why I get half.”

Ty could always make me laugh. He seemed in an especially good mood lately even though I still hadn’t quite figured out what to say about his dinner offer. I wanted whatever I said to sound right and I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. I hadn’t come up with the right words yet.

We said goodbye and I drove home, got ready, and went back out to the Old Mill for dinner with Kate and Dr. Mortimer. I found her waiting and talking on the phone in front of Greg’s Grill, still in her work clothes. She was putting in long hours lately. Other than shopping the other day, I really hadn’t seen her much.

I loved eating at this restaurant. We could usually get a table outside right next to the river.

It was a beautiful summer evening and there were a lot of people out walking on the path near the water. We sat down and looked at the menus.

“This is nice,” Kate said. “Just sitting out here. I feel like I haven’t been outside in months.”

I nodded.

“Did you bring a pillow to the trial today?” I asked, smiling.

“Stadium seat. Got it at Dick’s. It’s made a big difference too, but my back is still sore.”

I hadn’t been following it, but it seemed to be a popular conversation all over Bend. I heard people talking about the trial in the grocery store and at the bank. Even the girls in the office where we signed out had mentioned it.

“The first of the closing arguments was today, so it’s wrapping up. I can’t wait. I barely remember what it’s like to be on a regular beat. I feel like I’ve been stuck in that courthouse for half my life, if not half my ass.”

“So what’s it about anyway?”

“An attorney is being accused of embezzlement. It’s a big deal because he was a congressman for 20 years. When he retired, he moved to Bend and opened up a law firm. Personally I think he’s guilty, but he’s going to walk. I can tell that the jury likes him.”

Kate was always good at figuring people out. She didn’t see energy or anything, but she seemed to pick up on other things. Maybe it was their body language or the pauses in between their sentences. It was probably why she was such a good reporter.

She sat up in her chair and pulled her sunglasses up to the top of her head. I noticed she was wearing dark eye shadow and a little more mascara than usual. Then she pulled them down again.

A canoe paddled past us. A tall man was standing up in the middle, his dog up at the front. The waitress came and asked if we wanted any drinks. Kate ordered a glass of Chardonnay and I got a Cherry Coke.

“Well, at least the trial is almost over,” I said.

“Yeah. And I’m getting some good clips for my portfolio. But I’m really looking forward to getting back to my regular beat. I miss it.”

My phone buzzed. It was a text from Dr. Mortimer.

“He says he’ll be here in 10 minutes.”

A brief sadness flashed across Kate’s face.

“I wonder how he’s doing in the ER,” she said. “I mean, if he still likes it and everything. He used to talk about going into private practice. He said he wanted to work with kids, be a pediatrician.”

“Thanks again for coming, Kate. I know it must be hard.”

“Nonsense. We know hard. This isn’t hard. But don’t read more into this. It’s just a dinner with an old friend, that’s all.”

She must have felt like she had to say it, but I wish she hadn’t. It felt too sharp, like she had made her decision about him forever. I didn’t always understand those thick lines that she drew in the sand when it came to Dr. Mortimer and sometimes it made me mad. Here they were, both in love with each other and yet she refused that love, buried it deep, locked it up, and threw away the key. I would give anything to have Jesse with me now. And I wouldn’t have cared what he had done or what he hadn’t done. I loved him with all my heart.

“I know,” I said. “You don’t have to tell me that. It’s just nice, the three of us having dinner.”

She stared at me for a minute, her hair blowing around her face. I could see her sad eyes through her lightly-tinted movie-star sunglasses.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to get bitchy. I’m just tired. Here’s to weekends,” Kate said, lifting her water glass.

I raised mine and we tapped them together and sipped.

The waitress came back. She looked familiar but I couldn’t place her. Our eyes met for a moment and she smiled. Maybe from school. I wasn’t sure. Kate told her we were waiting for someone.

“You know, Abby, you’re looking good. You got that nice outdoorsy tan going and a healthy glow.”

“Thanks,” I said.

I was also letting my hair grow long, like when I was a kid. Most of the time I had it back in a ponytail, but when I let it down like tonight, it was half way down my back.

“So I’m glad. If being a river guide is making you happy, good. You deserve it. I’ll be relieved when the season is over, but it’s nice seeing you like this.”

I smiled. I did feel happier lately and was glad Kate was able to see it. Maybe it would help her to stop worrying so much about me.

Her expression suddenly turned serious.

It was easy to figure it out. Dr. Mortimer had arrived.

CHAPTER 8

Kate stood up with a strained expression on her face. I heard his voice behind me.

“Kate and Abby,” he said.

I turned around. Dr. Mortimer was smiling that great smile he had, the skin around his eyes all crinkly.

“Hi, Ben,” Kate said as she squeezed past my chair.

Light and dark waves surrounded them.

“Hello, old friend,” he said to me.

Dr. Mortimer was as handsome as ever. His hair was a little lighter than the last time I’d seen him and he had a dark tan that made his eyes stand out even more than usual. He was wearing a button-down shirt and khakis. He looked like he had stepped out of an REI catalog, stylish and ready for an adventure.

“Kate, you look beautiful. And Abby, look at you!” he said. “It’s so good to see you two. It’s been too long.”

There was a brief awkward silence after he said that, but he was right. It had been too long. We sat down.

I hoped Kate would be her typical charming self, but she was unusually quiet. It was up to me, at least for now.

“So, how is the ER?” I asked.

“Good, good,” he said, still smiling and staring at Kate. “The same, but it’s good.”

I glanced over and saw the confused energy around her. Her face was tense, like she was having a private conversation in her head, trying to talk down those feelings that were surging up.

The waitress brought Dr. Mortimer a menu and a glass of water and asked if he wanted a drink.

“Oh, sure. I’ll take a glass a wine. Whatever she’s having,” he said, pointing to Kate. “Thanks.”

We sat quiet for a moment, a soft summer breeze blowing around us. It was great to see him, even better than I had expected. He still felt part of the family.

“I’m so sorry I’m late. I got stuck at work. Have you ordered yet?”

“Not yet,” Kate said.

“I think I’ll treat myself to a steak,” he said, putting the menu down. “Abby. Let’s start with you. Tell me what you’ve been up to this summer.”

I talked about soccer and cooking for a while. Then I spilled it and told him about the river guide job, focusing mostly on the friendly people I met, and how great it was being outside in nature all day.

He looked a little distressed. He took his napkin and put it in his lap.

“A river guide, eh? That’s an interesting choice.”

He then smiled at Kate.

“Don’t look at me,” she said. “It wasn’t my idea.”

He nodded. I could tell he didn’t really like it either, but he seemed to understand.

“Just be careful out there.”

“I will,” I said.

“You know, it’s hard not to worry,” he said. “If I had my choice, I wouldn’t want you near any sort of water ever again. But I can understand why you’re doing it. So Kate, how’s the newspaper treating you? Still chasing the big story?”

His eyes danced as he looked at her.

Kate still seemed super stressed out. I didn’t know how much wine it would take before she was comfortable around Dr. Mortimer, but the one glass wasn’t getting it done. She didn’t respond, so I jumped in.

“She’s covering that big trial downtown.”

It worked. She finally started talking. First about the trial and then about some of the problems at the DA’s office.

We ordered dinner. I decided on the bacon cheeseburger and Kate got a steak like Dr. Mortimer. By the time the food arrived, everyone had loosened up a little, the stress lifting away as the sun sank behind Mt. Bachelor.

“Summer jobs can be great,” Dr. Mortimer said. “Back when I was an undergrad, I had the best one ever. I worked on a tour boat out of Boston Harbor three summers in a row. It was incredible being out on the water all day, the salty sea air blowing through my hair as I talked to people about history. I loved it.”

I could see his light energy swirling around him as he spoke.

“I bet your rafting is like that. But tell me what you have planned for the fall,” he said. “Are you thinking about college?”

Kate was always asking that same question too. I knew they meant well, but I hated it.

“No,” I said. “Not yet. I’m still trying to figure out what I want to do.”

I didn’t see the point of going to college. It was such a great feeling when I graduated from high school. It felt like I was free. Released. Senior year was torture, going to class every day, getting C’s and D’s on tests no matter how hard I studied. And dealing with all those people. I was relieved to be out and never wanted to go back to school.

Everyone was sure that college would be the next logical step for me, figuring that if my body was healing so well, my mind must be too. Even Dr. Krowe was pushing it, suggesting that at the very least I should enroll at the local community college until I got some confidence to attend the university.

There was no way I was sitting in a classroom again, trying desperately to pass tests and learn about things I could care less about. I was going to figure something else out.

“I’m not sure what I want to do yet,” I said. “Weighing all my options.”

I was still a little lost. The river job made me feel better, but it was only for a few more months. I’d have to come up with something soon.

“Don’t think you have to figure it all out before you go to college,” Dr. Mortimer said. “Most kids your age have no idea what they’re going to do with their lives. I sure didn’t. But if you go, you can take different classes and find out what it is you would like to do.”

I sighed and looked over at the mountains.

“She has time,” Kate said.

That surprised me. She was usually pretty adamant about filling out applications and had been pushing me to look into different universities since winter.

“I’ve been thinking about it,” she said. “I think it’s smart to figure out what you want first. College is too expensive these days.”

“Yeah, I see what you’re saying,” Dr. Mortimer said. “You’re right, Kate. The cost is astronomical. And it keeps going up. But I bet Abby could get some assistance. Scholarships or other help of some sort.”

He smiled and I felt my stomach tighten. Good God. We needed to change the subject, and fast.

A group of kids in bright plastic rafts drifted past us down the river. The restaurant was suddenly loud and busy, packed with people laughing and drinking, drowning out the soft jazz playing in the background.

I finished up the last of my cheeseburger as they talked about work and the weather and baseball. Kate was a big Red Sox fan and of course, so was Dr. Mortimer.

“Ben,” she said in a low voice after the plates were cleared, pausing before going on. “Any news? About
him
, I mean.”

My stomach dropped. I hated talking about Nathaniel. It always brought up those deep, dark feelings and I couldn’t stop from thinking back to when I watched him kill those innocent people in my visions.

Although Nathaniel had confessed to us that night, the police were never able to find any actual evidence that pointed back to him. So, in the end, the authorities decided that the four deaths were not the work of a serial killer, even though the same unknown drug had been found in all the victims’ blood.

The police chief issued a vague statement saying that they had been exposed to a “new and lethal controlled substance for sale out on our streets that may have contributed to their deaths,” and that they all had histories of drug abuse. The cause of death in each case was ruled to be accidental. Nathaniel no longer was even a person of interest.