Forty-Four Box Set, Books 1-10 (44) (138 page)

“I hope you’re feeling better about it all, now that some time has gone by,” he said. “You were instrumental in finding, and saving, Emily.”

“I do, but I was in a dark place for a while there.”

“I know the feeling. Most of the time, time is the only thing that helps. Most of the time.”

I nodded.

It was nice, talking with him like this. On this side of things. Even though I hadn’t known him that long, in a lot of ways it felt like I had. I imagined that’s how it was when you went through something like this together.

“I’m glad you stopped by for dinner,” I said. “Sorry you missed Ty. He’s in Idaho all week on business. He could have pointed you in the right direction to the best fishing spots on the Flathead. He’s from there, you know.”

“Why did he move here?”

“Beer.”

Frazier cracked a smile.

“As good a reason as any I suppose,” he said. “It’s nice here. I like the air.”

“Me too,” I said, taking a deep breath.

I finished the last of my wine and set down the glass.

I was trying to get up the courage to tell Frazier what was on my mind. Instead I asked him about Emily again.

“Emily will be okay,” he said. “It may take some time for her to come back, but she’s a fighter. Her life will never be like it was before. It’s too soon now, but who’s to say it won’t be better in the long run. I’m not betting against her. There aren’t many people who could have survived what she went through. But she managed to find a way. She’s a strong girl.”

I nodded and looked over at Frazier.

He was a good man and I was proud to have worked with him. And what he said about Emily applied to him as well. He was strong. The world had taken its best shot, but he was still standing. I think Jim Brown would have been proud, too.

I looked back over at the young ghost who had been watching us all through dinner as she stood at the edge of the grass. Studying her I could see now that she wasn’t mad or angry at him. Her somber expression suggested something more like concern, like a child looking at a distressed parent and not knowing what to do.

I stared at the black rip in Frazier’s energy.

“You have a real gift, Abby. And I’m not just referring to your cooking. I hope you continue using it.”

Here was my opening.

“I can talk to her if you’d like,” I said. “Mary Anderson, I mean. If there’s something you’d like to say.”

But he put his hand up and then shook his head.

“No, Abby. Thank you, but I don’t think that would be a good idea.”

He looked at the pond and then waited a moment before speaking.

“It’s one of those things, one of those truly awful things in life that can’t be fixed. There’s no feeling better about it, there’s no redemption. That’s just a word. You have to carry it with you. The cross is yours alone to bear.”

“I think I understand,” I said.

“But I thank you for the offer. I know it’s from the heart.”

It wasn’t Mary Anderson holding the key that kept Frazier chained to his guilt. The key was long gone. He had held it once on a night like this more than 40 years earlier. And he had thrown it in the sea.

I knew he would never forgive himself for watching that car drive off in the middle of the night with a girl locked in the trunk.

“Well, you know where to find me if you change your mind,” I said.

And then, as any good dinner host would, I switched the topic to something less uncomfortable. I talked about how we were practicing knife skills during the first week of class and how two students had cut their fingers.

“Show me your hands,” he said.

“No.” I laughed. “It wasn’t me.”

As the sun fell out of the sky, Frazier stood up and smiled.

“I think it’s time to bring this wonderful evening to a close,” he said.

We walked out to the street, where we lingered for a while on the sidewalk in front of his car. I smiled as I thought back to that first day he had come to see me, and how I didn’t think I would be able to help him.

I was glad I tried. It felt good now. The part I played in saving Emily, and how we did it together.

“It’s been a pleasure working with you, Abby,” Frazier said, extending his hand.

“It has for me too, Ellis,” I said, shaking it, but then giving him a hug. “Take care of yourself. I hope you catch a lot of fish.”

He smiled and walked out into the street, but then turned toward me suddenly.

“Maybe you could tell her,” he said. “Tell her that… I’m sorry.”

I nodded, eyeing the ghost standing next to him.

Ellis Frazier waved one last time. I stood there in the September twilight and watched his car roll down the street as I said a quiet prayer for my new friend.

THE END

Forty-Four Book Nine

by

Jools Sinclair

Copyright © 2014 Jools Sinclair

You Come Too Publishing

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book, or portions thereof, in any form. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in, or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical without the express written permission of the author. The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book via the Internet or via any other means without the permission of the publisher is illegal and punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions, and do not participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrighted materials.

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or to actual events or locales is entirely coincidental.

To Dad,

What if…

Forty-Four Book Nine

by

Jools Sinclair

PROLOGUE

As he stood in the shadow of the church, he saw them as they really were.

Heathens. Sinners. Transgressors.

So willing to surrender to the dark impulses that devoured their souls. So willing to ignore Him, to ignore the path to salvation.

He looked out at the busy city, remembering that day when he was chosen.

“Blood may be necessary,” the voice whispered to him. “Do this work in His name.”

That was long ago and he had remained loyal, embracing all that had been asked of him, embracing what he now was.

“Even with the bitterness that remains on my tongue, the black river that flows inside me,” he said softly to the night, “I will forever be a servant of God.”

Up above the tall buildings, a bright star gave him strength. He walked on, his task in hand, searching the streets for the ones who refused to see.

CHAPTER 1

I slammed on the brakes and lost control, my heart leaping up my throat.

“Damn it!” I yelled as the Jeep 360-ed into the intersection.

Fortunately there weren’t any other cars around, although that didn’t keep my eyes from bulging with terror. I couldn’t remember if I was supposed to turn into the spin or away from it, but somehow whatever I did worked and I righted the Jeep and got on track.

I pulled into the Safeway parking lot and cut the engine.

“What the hell?” I said, glaring in the rearview mirror at the man sitting in the shadows. “You can’t do that! What’s wrong with you?”

I just sat there staring, my heart still drumming like all three Haim sisters were beating on it at the same time. I took several deep breaths.

“Okay, first off there are some rules,” I said after I finally began to feel myself calming down. “Rule One: Don’t get us killed.”

The moment it came out of my mouth I realized how stupid I must have sounded.
Us?
What was I talking about? He was already dead.

“I didn’t mean to scare you,” he said, his voice sincere. “It’s just that I didn’t think you saw me back here.”

I was mostly angry, but there was also a trace of fear in the mix. I wasn’t sure how he had crept up on me like that. He didn’t just materialize while I was driving. He must have been there the whole time. I was usually better at seeing them come and go, from a nice, safe distance.

I sighed and gave him a once over. In the mirror I could see that he had dark hair and a serious case of five o’clock shadow. He was wearing a buttoned-up wool coat and a scarf. He appeared to be in his 30s.

“It’s just that I’ve been trying to get your attention for a while and you haven’t noticed me,” he said. “To tell you the truth, you kind of gave me a jolt, too.”

A slight grin flashed across his translucent face and I relaxed a little. I realized I still had a death grip on the steering wheel and eased up.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “Won’t happen again.”

“Okay. So now that you’ve finally got my attention, what do you want?”

His smile faded fast.

“I need your help. I’ve been asking around and they say you’re good.”

I was pretty sure he wasn’t talking about my
béchamel
sauce.

“Good at what exactly?” I said.

“At finding killers,” the stranger said, his eyes narrowing. “I need you to help me find the man who killed my wife.”

CHAPTER 2

He struck the match on the back of my headrest and lit a cigarette, a soft plume of smoke rising up to the ceiling and pooling there.

“I’m Charles by the way,” he said. “Charles, uh,
Charlie
Modine.”

“I guess you know my name,” I said.

He moved his head up and down and took another puff.

“You’ll have to come back during business hours,” I said. “I’m late for dinner.”

“I know. I just need five minutes. I promise.”

“All right,” I said. “Go.”

I watched someone skate across the parking lot and collect shopping carts while the ghost sat back in the seat.

“Have you ever had someone that you love ripped away from you?” he said. “That’s how it was with me. When my wife was murdered. When he killed her.”

He took a long drag.

“That ever happen to you, Abby?”

I didn’t answer. I wasn’t going to talk about the worst day of my life with this stranger, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t thinking about it, about Jesse and that icy mountain road, his Land Rover flying through the air and hitting a tree just after he told me he loved me.

Along with the smoke, Modine’s sadness and mine now filled the car.

“It’s the worst thing in the world,” he said.

He was right. It had been six years, but the pain was always there. I bit my lip hard and looked out the window.

“I didn’t even know what love was until I met her,” he said. “We were like in some fairy tale. She had me feeling that every single day was magical. I never thought that it was going to end. She was everything to me. Everything.”

He looked away abruptly, his eyes on the small flakes swirling around outside. He cleared his throat and continued.

“And then he killed her and took it all away. It was like one of those waves you don’t see coming, washing away your entire world. In a second, everything was gone, like it had never even been there in the first place.”

That’s exactly how it had felt when Jesse died. I never saw it coming either.

“I don’t know,” Modine said. “Maybe I’m still hanging on to the last threads of that fairy tale, but this… this man who did this… he can’t just get away with it. That’s not how the story ends. It can’t be. I need to find him. And I need your help to make it right.”

“I’m sorry for your loss,” I said. “But I’m not exactly a private investigator. I wouldn’t know where to begin looking.”

He breathed in more smoke and then let it out slowly between us.

“Oh, no, I guess I wasn’t clear. I’ve already taken care of the leg work,” he said. “See, that’s just it. I found him. I tracked the worthless SOB right here. He’s right here, in your town. All you have to do is help me get justice for my wife.”

My phone rang, piercing the quiet as Modine waited for my answer. I picked up when I saw it was Ty.

“Where you at?” he said. “I was starting to worry.”

“I’m just a few minutes away,” I said.