Forgotten (57 page)

A soft sound broke into his morbid thoughts
and he blinked back tears to see that Kate’s long eyelashes were
fluttering against her paper-pale cheeks.

“
Kate?” he whispered,
hardly daring to breathe. “Kate, baby?
Lalli?”

“
Rone?” Her voice was
little more than a whisper. “What…what happened?”

“
Don’t you remember? Are
you all right?”

“
I…think so. And I
remember
some
.
Help me sit up.”

She struggled weakly in his arms and Rone
helped her, wincing as he saw his brutal handiwork on her body.

There was blood on her
chin where she’d bitten her lip and bruises on the pale skin of her
hips and thighs where he’d held her down while he took her. He
could see dirt and grass under her nails where she’d scrabbled at
the ground, trying to get away. But worst of all was the savage
scar where her shoulder met her neck—it was a set of
teeth-marks—
his
teeth marks, Rone knew. They showed clearly on the delicate
column of Kate’s throat—a visual reminder of what he had done to
her.

Because Rone
knew
it was his
fault—knew that he was the real culprit here. Some males might have
tried to blame their Beast but Rone didn’t believe in such excuses.
The Beast was a part of him—the ugliest, most lustful, selfish part
of him and it had treated Kate in exactly the way he must have
wished he could treat her. Deep down in the part of his mind he
couldn’t bear to look at or acknowledge, he had wanted to fuck
her—to breed her. And that was what he had done, whether she wanted
him to or not.

That would be a
NOT,
he thought as more black and white
snapshots of the night before paraded before his mind’s eye. Kate
moaning his name and begging him not to hurt her, her scrambling to
get away before he forced her to her hands and knees…

“
Rone…are you
okay?”

Kate’s soft, tentative voice jerked him out
of his self-loathing for a moment.

“
No,” he said shortly.
“No, I’m not. But neither are you, thanks to me and we need to make
that our priority. Come on.” He stood and fastened his leather
flight trousers. “Let’s get you to a healer.”

“
What? Why—I’m
fine,”
Kate protested.
She tried to stand, wobbled, and almost fell. “Well,
mostly
fine,” she
amended as Rone caught her.

“
The Hell you are,” he
said roughly. “Just look at you, Kate! You’re bruised and bloody
and scarred and…” His voice grew thick in his throat and he almost
couldn’t go on, but he forced the words out anyway. “And I did that
to you—all of it,” he finished.

“
Oh Rone, honey, no…” Kate
reached up to stroke his cheek but he jerked away from her hand. He
didn’t deserve to have her touch him—not ever again—not after what
he’d done.

“
Come on,” he said
roughly. “I want to take you to a healer but first we have to get
you dressed.”

A few feet away in the grass, he found the
petal dress she’d been wearing the night before. Like Kate, it
looked considerably worse for the wear. It was crumpled and torn,
shedding its petals—and the ones that remained were dirty and
ragged. The innocent white petals at the top of the dress, around
the neckline, were stained with Kate’s blood.

A snapshot memory came to him—the feel of
her small hand on his chest, clenched in pain but not daring to
pull away as he sank his teeth into her flesh…the sweetly metallic
taste of her blood in his mouth…the high, panicked sound of her
voice begging him…pleading with him…

“
Please, Rone, you’re
hurting me! I know you don’t really want to hurt me. You…you love
me, Rone. You’ve told me so over and over. Please.”

Rone clutched the dress to his chest and
doubled over, unsure for a moment if he might vomit or not.

“
Rone? Are you all
right?”

Kate’s soft hand rested tentatively on his
shoulder. Rone shook her off.

“
Leave me
alone!”

“
I’m sorry!” She drew back
at once, clearly hurt by his reaction.

For his part, Rone couldn’t understand how
she could bear to touch him at all.

“
Here.” He thrust the
dress at her, unable to even look her in the face. “Put it on. We
need to get back to the cottage before Tante Corii wakes up and
realizes you’re gone.”

“
Fine.” With stiff, jerky
motions Kate pulled the bedraggled petal gown back on. “I’m ready,”
she said after a moment. “We can go now but you’ll have to lead the
way—I have no idea where we are.”

I don’t either,
Rone thought but he wasn’t thinking about
directions.

“
This way. Can you walk?”
He made himself look at her, even though he didn’t want to. Didn’t
want to see how hurt and small and broken she looked in the dirty,
bloodstained gown.

“
I think so. I’m a little
stiff but I feel better now.” She ran a hand through her hair. “I
must have really been sleeping soundly.”

“
You were passed out,”
Rone said shortly. “I thought you were dead at first.” His voice
sounded flat in his own ears—flat and cold and empty. His stomach
still felt like a clenched fist.

“
Passed out?” Kate stared
at him blankly. “Really? I was passed out? No wonder I feel so weak
and woozy.”

“
You feel so bad because I
used you hard last night,” Rone told her harshly. “Used you with no
thought for your comfort or safety. Used you against your will. I…”
He shook his head—this time he really couldn’t go on.

“
What?” Kate stared at him
frowning. “Rone, no! It wasn’t like that.”

“
Oh?” He rounded on her.
“How was it then? Because all the parts that I remember go like
that.
Exactly
like that.”

“
How can you remember?”
Kate protested. “You weren’t you last night—you were the
Beast.”

“
Never forget, Kate—the
Beast is part of me. The ugliest part, to be sure, but at his core
he
is
me—my
darkest desires…my most shameful needs.” Rone scrubbed a hand over
his face and shook his head. “I cannot and
will not
hide behind my Beast as an
excuse. I have memories of what he—what
I—
did to you. I know exactly how bad
it was.”

“
It was a
little
rough,” Kate
sounded like she was trying to be cautious—trying to pick her way
through a verbal mine field. “But I went into it knowing it was
going to be rough. I…I didn’t mind, Rone.”

“
Bullshit,” he said
harshly, throwing one of her Earth swearwords at her. “Don’t lie to
me, Kate. I remember you trying to get away from me but I…I held
you down and…and did it anyway. Took what I wanted.” He swallowed,
hearing a dry click in his throat.

“
You have it all wrong,”
Kate protested but Rone only shook his head.

“
I know what I did and I
know what I deserve. You don’t have to pretend otherwise to save my
feelings. The Goddess knows I certainly had no such consideration
for yours last night.”

“
Rone! You
can’t…”

But he was already moving. The invisible
bubble that had trapped them so neatly the night before was gone
now and he made his way quickly through the woods, aiming in a
straight line back for Tante Corii’s cabin where they had parked
their shuttle. Rone knew exactly what he had to do—and where he had
to go. But before he could, he had to discharge his duties and the
first one was seeing Kate’s wounds—the wounds he was responsible
for—healed.

* * * * *

Kate stumbled along behind him, feeling weak
and sick and angry all at the same time. Why was he acting like
such a jerk? Why wouldn’t he listen to her?

She also felt wobbly and extremely sore
between her legs. This was one of those times when she wouldn’t
have objected to the big Kindred carrying her in his arms, as he
seemed to love to do. But there was no way she was going to ask him
to carry her when he was acting like this—like he didn’t even want
to look at her or be near her. It hurt her feelings more than she
wanted to admit, even to herself—especially after what they’d done
together the night before. Well, what she had done with his Beast,
anyway.

“
You big jerk,” she
muttered under her breath as she tried to keep up with his long
strides. “There’s no need to treat me like some kind of pariah just
because I did the deed with your other half. I mean, what was
I
supposed
to do?
There was no other way to get through the night!”

She was speaking to his broad back since
Rone was striding along so fast through the forest she could barely
keep up with him. Still fuming, Kate hobbled as fast as she could,
determined not to fall behind or ask for help. She didn’t see the
root in her path until it was too late.

Her bare foot caught under it and she fell
with a cry, twisting her ankle in the process.

“
Kate?” In a flash, Rone
was at her side. “Are you all right?”

“
I think so—I tripped.
It…really hurt.” She rubbed her scraped foot and injured ankle, hot
tears stinging her eyes. Normally she wouldn’t cry for such a small
thing but it wasn’t just the physical pain that was hurting her. It
was the way he wouldn’t look her in the eye…the way he seemed to
hate her and himself both for what had happened between
them.

“
You must have twisted
your ankle. It’s starting to swell.” He frowned in concentration as
he examined her left ankle.

“
I’m sorry.” Kate swiped
away tears. “I…I was just trying to keep up with you.”

“
I’ll have to carry you.
That is…” He hesitated. “If…if you can stand to have me so close
after…after what I did.”

“
Of course you can carry
me,” Kate said quietly. “And Rone, about last night—”

He held up a hand to stop her.

“
Can we not speak of it?
Please?”

“
All right,” Kate said
reluctantly. “I just think you’re remembering it differently from
how I do…and from how it really happened, for that
matter.”

“
It happened,” he said
shortly. “That’s bad enough. The way it happened—what I did—is even
worse. I…can’t talk about it right now. Not if I want to keep my
sanity.”

“
All right. I’ll shut up
about it—for now,” Kate said. But inside she vowed to herself to
make him understand that while the sex she’d had with his Beast had
indeed been rough and intense, she in no way considered it an
assault.

Rone lifted her gently, as though she was
made of fine china, and carried her carefully through the forest,
as though she might break if he squeezed her too hard.

Kate tried laying her head against his chest
but he stiffened at the contact. Reluctantly, she straightened up
again and tried to keep to herself, as much as she could while
being carried in his arms, anyway.

There was one thing she noticed—or rather
didn’t notice though. His scent—the warm, spicy, masculine aroma
which was usually so strong whenever she was close to him—seemed to
be muted somehow. She sniffed as surreptitiously as she could but
try as she might, she could only catch a faint whiff of it. Why was
that? Was it somehow connected to Rone’s mood—which was admittedly
very bleak and dark at the moment—or was there some other reason
she couldn’t smell him?

Before she could work up the courage to ask,
they came out of the woods and Tante Corii’s small cottage came
into view. Kate was just going to ask how he planned to sneak in
without waking the old lady, when she came bursting out the front
door, a wild look on her face.

“
Oh, Kate child!” she
gasped, her faded blue eyes wide with fear. “I woke and found you
gone and I was so
worried
about you! Where were you? What happened? Are you
all right?”

“
I’m fi—” Kate started to
say but Rone overrode her.

“
She was with me, last
night Tante Corii. For some reason Kate came and found me in the
forest, just before I took my fur-form. And so you got your
wish—she finally tamed my Beast.”

“
She did? Praise be to the
Goddess!” Tante Corii clapped her wrinkled hands together. “That’s
wonderful!”

“
No. It’s not.” Rone
glared at his aunt. “I hurt her, Tante. Hurt her the way Le’la was
hurt when she tamed her mate’s Beast. Are you happy
now?”

“
I’m
not
hurt,” Kate protested. “Well,
except for my ankle but I did that myself, tripping over a tree
root.”

“
Kate, please.” Rone gave
her a level stare. “Don’t lie—to me or to yourself. I know what I
did to you last night—I
remember.
So don’t try to pretend I didn’t hurt
you—didn’t…didn’t….” But he was apparently unable to
finish.

“
Rone—” Kate started but
this time it was Tante Corii who interrupted.

“
Now, now,” she said,
patting Rone on the arm. “A few bumps and bruises are to be
expected when a female tames the Beast of her mate. Let’s try to
look on the bright side and put the sad times behind
us.”