Forever Fall (14 page)

“This isn’t about you, Luc. And it’s not about a stolen kiss on the deck this morning. It’s about me and the choices I’ve made for my life.”

“And these choices don’t include me personally? Or they don’t include men in general?” Luc frowned down at her, managing to look hurt and sexy at the same time.

Mandy couldn’t afford to react to either the hurt or the attraction. She couldn’t afford to let Luc charm his way any further into her soul than he already had. She couldn’t care for him. She just couldn’t.

“It’s a long story, and I’m not sure I’m ready to share it. I’m not sure if I ever will be, either, so please don’t ask.”

Before he could stop her, she whirled and left the kitchen and him standing beside the sink with the look of confused hurt deepening in his soft brown eyes. She lurched to a stop in the hall, leaned heavily against the wall, and squeezed her eyes shut. But she couldn’t block out the way Luc had looked at her just before she fled. Like a little boy who’d been slapped by someone he trusted.

Luc wanted her trust, and she wanted to give it to him. But a person is only given a certain amount of trust, and she had given all hers away to a mother who didn’t deserve it.

In the following days, and much to Mandy’s relief, an unspoken truce settled between her and Luc. He didn’t ask any more questions, nor did he attempt to repeat the kiss, and she became less wary around him. Luc had stopped referring to Joey as
robo
baby, and their strange little household began to take on all the aspects of a real family, something Mandy had never experienced. The evenings especially had become a time when they would gather together in front of the TV and watch a movie or play a board game.

The one flaw in their otherwise content world was Shannon’s growing discontent with being a mommy. She’d happily join in the games and watching TV, which was the only time she resembled a carefree teen. But when Joey’s strident cry rang out, her smile would vanish, and the frown that Mandy had come to know so well, and that was so unlike the happy, enthusiastic girl she’d first met, would transform the girl’s face.

Mandy also noticed that it was taking the young girl longer and longer to quiet Joey’s cries for attention, and she’d begun referring to Joey as
it
more often than she used the name she’d chosen so carefully for him. When Mandy had checked the monitor in the simulator, the demerits were alarmingly high, and the day she’d mentioned it to Shannon, she’d thrown down the laundry she’d been folding and ran from the room in tears.

Catherine had dropped by a few times and asked Shannon to go to lunch or shopping, but she’d refused. “It’s not the same. I want to go out with my friends, not my grandmother,” she’d snapped and left Catherine standing there with a helpless look on her face.

The tension between Mandy and Shannon peaked midweek when Mandy went to do her laundry and found the washer full of wet, musty baby clothes. Grabbing a handful of the wet garments, Mandy stormed into the kitchen where Shannon was eating lunch.

“Did you forget these?” She thrust the wet clothes at Shannon. “You’re going to have to rewash them. The baby can’t wear clothes that reek of mustiness.”

Shannon laid down her sandwich and glared at Mandy. “Oh, yeah. Like it’s going to catch some horrible disease and die.” She frowned. “Helloooo. It’s not a real baby. Geeze, Mandy.” She went back to eating her sandwich.

“Maybe you missed the part where for all intents and purposes, Joey is real to you. He needs the same care as a real baby.” Mandy threw the clothes on the table. “Rewash them.”

Shannon pushed them away. Then, throwing down the remains of her sandwich, Shannon jumped to her feet. “You’re not my mother, and he,” she pointed an accusing finger at Luc, who had been standing silently nearby, “is not my father. So get off my back.”

“You will not speak to Mandy like that, young lady.” Luc’s voice was hard and commanding.

Shannon glared at Luc and then stomped from the room and down the hall. The front door slammed behind her.

Mandy didn’t know what to say. She stood open-mouthed staring at the empty doorway. A moment later, a hand touched her shoulder. She turned to find Luc standing close by her side.

“She’ll cool down after she’s had some time to think. In the meantime, why don’t you take a drive into town and do the grocery shopping?” He handed her the list they kept hanging from a magnet on the refrigerator. It included bread, canned soup and cheese, but she could see in his eyes that he wasn’t as concerned with the food as he was with her peace of mind. “You haven’t been away from here in days. It’ll do you good.”

Mandy didn’t think Shannon would cool down much, but he was right about needing time away from here. The tension between her and Shannon had become unbearable, and her nerves felt like elastic bands stretched to their limit. Shannon may have been learning what it was like to be a teenage mother, but Mandy was quickly learning what it was like to be the mother of a rebellious teen.

She looked up at Luc, and for a moment allowed herself to soak up the compassion in his expression. It worked on her taut nerves like a soothing balm. How was it he had the power to do that with just a look? Days of physical and mental fatigue caught up to her, and the urge to just lean against him and bask in that feeling of protective warmth and security almost overwhelmed her.

Maybe she’d been wrong not to trust him. She’d always measured all men by the unending stream of ne’er-do-wells that had paraded in and out of her mother’s house when she’d been growing up. None of them had stayed longer than a few days, just enough time to get what they wanted from her mother with their smooth talking lies. And when each one left, her mother had turned to her pacifier, the bottle, and ranted on and on about how Mandy was ruining everything for her. But maybe Luc was different.

And maybe he’s not.

Before she could do something she’d regret later, she moved away from his magnetic aura. With her nerves in bad shape and her mood even worse, she figured she was ripe for some serious sympathetic hugs.

She had to get out of there
 . . .
and fast.

“I think I’ll take your suggestion. I haven’t been by the office for a few days either. I can do both while I’m out, but I shouldn’t be too long.”

He smiled, and that urge to be close to him came sneaking back into her mind. She pushed it away.

“Take as long as you need. I’ll hold down the fort.”

Mandy sighed. “In the mood she’s in,” she motioned toward the doorway where Shannon had disappeared, “you’d better put on a suit of armor.”

His expression changed from the lighthearted friend urging her to take time for herself, to the serious man who’d kissed her on the deck. “Don’t underestimate my determination. When I put my mind to it, I can be a formidable opponent.”

Mandy had the unmistakable and very uncomfortable feeling that he was no longer talking about the rebellious teen who’d just stormed from the room.

Not long after the sound
of Mandy’s car faded into the distance, Luc heard the back door close. He entered the laundry room and found Shannon throwing baby clothes into the dryer with a lot more force than necessary.

“Shouldn’t you be rewashing them?” Silence followed, and Luc began to think she hadn’t heard him, or had opted to ignore him.

“Probably.” But she threw another handful of wet clothes in the dryer. “He doesn’t get them dirty, so I don’t see why they have to be washed anyway.”

“Mandy’s right, you know. If you want a baby, all this that you hate comes along with it.” He leaned against the door frame and continued to talk, even though Shannon appeared to be ignoring him. “I understand your frustration and that you’d rather be out having fun with your friends. I wish you could be, too. But you chose this, just as you would have chosen to have a real child. Now, you have to stick it out and put up with the results.”

Shannon whirled on him, tears glistening in her eyes, her pretty face contorted in anger. “If she’d just give me a break once in a while. But she’s always on my case. Joey needs this. Joey needs that. I’m sick of him and her.”

Teenagers
. Luc sighed in frustration. “Then maybe you should give up on this and go home.”

“Maybe I should.”

“Or you could prove her wrong and stick with it.”

“In your dreams.” She glared at him, slammed the dryer door closed, jabbed the
start
button on the dryer, then stormed past Luc.

That certainly wasn’t the reaction he’d been looking for. He wanted her to stay, to see it through, to fully understand what being a parent meant. Instead, he’d pushed her into giving up.

How do parents do it? Or was it perhaps different if it was
your
child and there was that deep love bond? He wouldn’t know. He’d never experienced that connection with his parents.

He sighed and rubbed at a spot on his temple that had suddenly begun to throb.

Later that day, Luc,
having given the teenager time to cool down, looked around briefly for Shannon. She was nowhere in the house. Shrugging, he decided she’d gone for a walk to calm down. He ran upstairs, checked on Joey, who was quiet in his crib, then Luc went back through the house to the kitchen, grabbed his coffee and took it onto the deck.

Once there, his gaze seemed to automatically go to one spot. For a long time, he stared at the railing where he and Mandy had kissed. Warm, sweet memories drove all thought of the teen from his mind. He ran his tongue over his lips, as though testing for remnants of the sweet honey he’d detected on her lips that day. Like the kiss, the honey had become a memory, but nevertheless, a sweet one. Along with that memory came the recollection of the expression on Mandy’s face just before she’d announced that they could never do that again.

At the time, he’d interpreted it as wary, but the more he thought about it, the more he thought it had been fear. But why? He’d never given her a reason to be afraid of him. And it certainly couldn’t have been the kiss itself. Her response had more than proved that she’d enjoyed it as much as he had.

This woman that he was coming to care a great deal for was an enigma, a mixture of puzzle pieces, and none of them seemed to fit together to give him a true picture of the real person. And if her response to his questions earlier meant anything, it didn’t appear as though she’d be sharing her secrets anytime soon
 . . .
if ever.

But she’d never come up against a determined Lucas Michaels.

He’d perfected the art of wheedling things out of reluctant students. Certainly he could handle one social worker.

The sound of raised, but muffled voices coming from inside the house cut short Luc’s musings. Had Mandy returned and gotten into it with Shannon again? He rose and went inside, preparing himself to step between them. As he walked toward the front of the house, the voices became more distinct and sounded as though they were coming from Shannon’s room, and none of them were Mandy’s.

“That’s not fair!” Shannon sounded like she’d been crying. “He knows why I’m doing this. It’s for us. For him and me.”

“I know, but he’s changed his mind. He doesn’t think it’s a good idea anymore, Shannon.” Luc didn’t recognize the other female’s voice. “I told him to talk to you, but he said he’s done talking, and he’s done waiting. If you don’t show up tonight, he’s going to take Jean to the dance.”

Feeling a bit guilty for eavesdropping, Luc moved closer to the foot of the stairs.

“I can’t. I have to take care of the baby. Why can’t you understand that? Why can’t he?” Shannon wailed, her voice thick with tears.

“Can’t you leave it with them?”

Silence. Luc held his breath waiting for Shannon’s reply. More silence. Then
 . . . .

“No. They can’t do it. I’m the only one with a key to stop it from crying.”

It.
Not a good sign.

“Well, you better make a decision. I have to tell Jeb if you’ll be meeting him or not.”

Luc waited for Shannon’s reply, but none came. All he could hear was the faint sound of someone crying.

Mandy entered the Social Services
office and found Becky sitting at her desk talking to her grandmother, Granny Jo Hawks. When she walked in, their conversation stopped, and they both turned to her.

Becky looked very surprised to see her. “What are you doing here?”

“I needed to get away.”

Granny Jo laughed. “Well, if that don’t beat all. You had to get away from your getaway?”

Mandy realized what she’d said sounded strange. Since neither of them knew what she was really doing at the lake, she fumbled to explain what seemed to be an odd statement from someone supposedly on vacation. “I guess I’m just not used to having a lot of idle time on my hands.”

“You have idle time with the beautiful lake out there? Seems to me you could find all kinds of things to do
 . . .
swimming, boating, laying around in a hammock catching the sun.” Granny Jo gave her one of those all-knowing looks of hers. “Now, suppose you tell us why you’re really here when you should be enjoying your time off.”

Mandy hesitated. How could she tell them she’d come here hoping to escape a snarling teenager and a man who was carving his name on her heart?

“No need,” Becky chimed in. “I know why she’s here. She came to see if I’ve gotten any information about Catherine’s daughter.”

Relief flooded Mandy. Then what Becky had just said registered in her fried brain. “Becky!” Mandy couldn’t believe she’d said that in front of Granny Jo when it was supposed to be their secret.

“Oh, child,” Granny said, waving away Mandy’s alarm with her hand. “Calm yourself. I’ve known about that girl for years. My Earl and Catherine’s husband were best friends from kindergarten. He confided in Earl years ago that Catherine was searching for her daughter. Darn near broke up their marriage till she finally gave up.” She smiled at Mandy. “Knowing your good heart, it doesn’t surprise me that you’ve taken up the hunt.”

Mandy relaxed. “You know this is not to leave here, right?”

“Won’t come from my lips.” Granny Jo made a motion as if closing an invisible zipper over her mouth. Then she shook a finger at her. “Just make sure Laureene Talbot doesn’t get wind of it, and you’ll be fine.”

“She won’t,” Mandy assured her. Then she turned to Becky. “Have you found her?”

Becky grinned and nodded. “Yesterday. Funny thing is she’s lived her whole life about forty miles from here in Madison.”