For Our Son: A BWWM Parenting Romance For Adults (4 page)

Truth was, Ryan liked his freedom. Sure, things were good with Sophia,
but being able to take time away from each other was what made them good. And
not that he would admit this to anyone else, but Sophia’s jealousy was
beginning to take its toll on him. At first he’d thought her little fits and
bouts of faux rage were cute, but not anymore. Now he just thought the routine
was old and tired.

Across the room, the back pocket of Ryan’s jeans began to ring. He
hurried to answer it for fear of waking up Sophia.

"Hello?" he answered quickly and quietly. He didn’t bother to
look on the display screen to see who he was talking to.

"Ryan?"

"Grace?"

"Sorry to call you so late…were you in bed?"

"No,” Ryan lied. After all, it was only ten o’clock and he didn’t
want anyone to know he’d gone to bed so early. He walked out of the bedroom and
shut the door so as not to disturb Sophia.

"I just wanted you to know that I went to the doctor’s today. I’m
not an eligible donor." Grace stated without taking a breath.

"Wow…are you okay?" Ryan didn’t know what to say. He
completely forgot that he was furious with her for their last conversation.

"As well as can be expected. I would have been surprised if I was
eligible, so it wasn’t a shock that I wasn’t. I feel bad for Matthew
though."

"Well I go Friday. I’ll let you know what happens."

"Okay. I’ll keep my fingers crossed."

There was a moment of silence and Ryan thought he’d lost his connection.
"Hello?" he asked.

"I’m here,” Grace confirmed. "I was just collecting my
thoughts for what I had to tell you next…"

"Uh-oh." Ryan braced himself.

"Actually, I owe you an apology for the things I said about the
adoption. I’m really sorry."

"Ah, you were just upset." Ryan swatted at the air as if he
could wave the incident away.

"It’s no excuse. I didn’t mean it, you know."

"Yes you did, but that’s okay. I’ve always known how you’ve felt
about it, Grace."

"Ryan, you made a decision that I couldn’t make. It was a decision
that needed to be made and you knew that from the beginning. I didn’t. I
couldn’t."

"Some days I wish we’d have kept him, but most days, to be honest,
I’m glad we didn’t. I feel horrible saying that, but…"

"You shouldn’t. It means you know you did the right thing."

"I guess."

"Well, I’ll let you go. It’s late. Call me on Friday and let me
know what happens. I’ll be so anxious I’ll barely be able to stand it."

"Well, my appointment is at nine. Do you want to meet for lunch
afterwards so that I can tell you what happened?"

Although Grace lived almost an hour away, she agreed to meet up with Ryan
for lunch on Friday. They decided on a place and time and then got off the
phone.

Sleep suddenly overtook Ryan. He yawned repeatedly as he walked back
towards the bedroom. He almost tripped over Sophia as he attempted to walk
through the bedroom door.

"What the…?" Ryan wasn’t expecting her to be at the door.

"What’s going on?" Sophia asked with wide eyes.

"Nothing. Go back to bed."

"Who were you talking to?"

"It’s not a big deal. Grace just called to tell me she can’t be a
donor."

"Why not?"

"She’s not a match."

"Oh…well it’s a little late for her to be calling. Did you tell her
that?"

"Somehow, that wasn’t exactly what I was focused on at the
time."

Ryan crawled into bed and turned his back to Sophia with the hope that she’d
take the hint and stop talking to him. She didn’t.

"So you’re going out to lunch with her?" Sophia continued.

"No, I’m not going out to lunch with her. She’s going to meet me
after my doctor appointment so that I can tell her what the results are."

"Where are you meeting?"

"At a restaurant."

"So you
are
going out to lunch with her!"

"Sophia…” Ryan sighed in exhausted exasperation. “You make it sound
like a date. It’s not a date. It’s just…we’re expecting the worst and I didn’t
think she’d want the information delivered over the phone."

"She gave you her news over the phone,” Sophia reminded him.

Unwilling to argue, Ryan simply stated, "That she did."

Sophia was silent for so long that Ryan thought she’d finally gone back
to sleep, but suddenly she sat upright in bed.

"Are we okay?" she asked.

"What?" Ryan kept his eyes closed, further evidence that all
he wanted to do was sleep.

"Are we okay? Or should I be worried about all the time you’re
spending with Grace?" Sophia reiterated.

Ryan opened one eye and looked over at Sophia. "All the time? I’ve
seen Grace once in eight years, Sophia. What time am I spending with her?"

"You were just talking to her and you’re meeting her on
Friday."

"Sophia, I don’t know what you want me to say. Grace and I are
over. I’m not in love with her, or anything, okay? We’re dealing with something
very serious and when we’ve dealt with it, she’ll go back to her corner of the
world and I’ll go back to mine, okay?"

"But when will you be done dealing with it?"

"Friday."

Sophia was content with
that answer, so much so that she leaned over Ryan and placed a kiss on his
cheek. As soon as he heard her head hit the pillow, Ryan’s eyes popped open.
Now he couldn’t sleep…again.

Chapter eight

Grace checked and re-checked the address Ryan had rambled off to her for
the restaurant they’d be meeting at. She knew she was early to meet him, but
there was only so much she could do to waste time. She resisted the urge to
call his cell phone to see what was going on. She was so anxious and nervous
that she couldn’t stand it. When she thought of young Matthew’s future looming
in the air the way it was… well, she honestly didn’t even want to think about
it.

Grace’s anxiety over Ryan’s test results distracted Grace from being
nervous about seeing Ryan again. It was unsettling the way someone she’d been
so intimate with in the past had become a stranger to her. She knew almost
nothing about him, save for his telephone number and the color of his truck.

Did he have any of his old habits? Like, did he still put fries between
the buns on his burgers? Did he leave half-empty soda cans all over the house,
refusing to drink warm soda? Did he still wear boxer shorts, or had he made the
switch to briefs? Grace chuckled to herself as she remembered Ryan’s disdain
for ‘tighty-whities’.

The ambience of the restaurant was casual. Grace sat near the front so
that Ryan would see her when he walked in. While she waited, Grace looked over
her notes for a paper one of her professors had given her an extension on. With
everything that was going on, she’d had a hard time concentrating. She still
wasn’t completely focused, but she worked well under pressure and she knew she
wouldn’t be getting another extension.

When Ryan walked in, Grace had her head down and was still working away
on her paper. He pointed her out to the hostess, relaying the fact that he
didn’t need to be seated.

"Happy Friday," Ryan said as he pulled out a chair and sat
down.

"Is it? You have good news then?" Grace asked anxiously.

"Actually…no. I don’t. I’m not a match either."

Grace felt the life and hope deflate out of her. She slumped against the
back of the chair as if she’d been defeated. Her eyes watered as the situation
settled upon her.

"Sorry," Ryan offered.

"It’s weird. I kept telling myself that you wouldn’t be a match, so
that I’d be prepared when things didn’t work out, but…it still didn’t prepare
me. I was hoping…"

"Nothing wrong with hoping," Ryan looked very uncomfortable at
how emotional Grace was being.

"Did they say anything? Like maybe what they were going to try
next?"

"The doctor did say that the family had located some additional
people who were willing to be tested."

"Well that’s good. That’s good, right?"

"Yeah, and he’s on a list to receive a bone marrow transplant. But
I don’t know how long the list is…"

"This seems unreal. Doesn’t it seem unreal to you?”

"Actually, it seems a little
too
real for me. So real that I
can almost not handle it." Ryan communicated his message: he wanted to
talk about something else for awhile. "What are you working on?" He
nodded towards Grace’s papers.

"Term paper. I have to turn it in on Monday."

"What’s it on?"

"The fall of the Roman Empire."

"Ugh.” Ryan made a face. "I don’t miss school at all."

"No, I wouldn’t think you would." Grace smiled.

Ryan wasn’t sure if that remark was simply a statement or an insult.
Looking at Grace’s laid back demeanor, he decided against the latter.

"So, what do you do when you’re not being a student?" Ryan
asked.

"Nothing. There isn’t much time for anything else."

"Sounds lonely."

"It is, but I prefer to look on the bright side. Besides, I have my
own personal stalker."

"A stalker?" Ryan looked serious.

Grace laughed at Ryan’s reaction. "He’s not really a stalker. Just
this guy I went out with once and now he won’t leave me alone. He’s harmless
though."

"Oh. Well that’s good."

"What about you? Who’s keeping you company?" As soon as the
question left Grace’s lips she regretted asking it. Why would she care whom or
what was keeping him company? It’s not like she was interested in him or
anything.

"I have a girlfriend. We work together, actually."

"That’s cool. What does she think about this whole ordeal?"

"She actually wants me to make a documentary of it…from my
perspective."

"Are you going to do it?"

"I don’t know. It seems a little intrusive. But for therapeutic
purposes it doesn’t seem like such a bad idea."

Grace nodded. She also thought it sounded a little intrusive, but she
didn’t bother saying so in case Ryan went forward with the project.

The server came and took their order, but both Grace and Ryan had
decided that they weren’t that hungry so they decided to share a platter of
mozzarella sticks that they each washed down with a local brand of craft beer.

"So, do you work?" Ryan asked to keep up the conversation.

"No. Just graduate school right now. I’ll start student teaching in
the fall, though."