Fixed (28 page)

This place is like K Block,
she thought suddenly.
Or Detta. Another level but not fixed, like Nell said.

Uh-uh,
her twin thought at her quickly.
I’ve seen some of the unfixed levels and this one’s not like them. Look.

With a grimace she pointed to the window in a door they were passing, and Nellie glanced through it to see a large white-walled room filled with the aimlessly wandering figures of children and adults. Faint strains of music could be heard and shafts of prismatic light spun and drifted midair, constantly changing color. Out of this light stepped glowing figures that flowed gracefully, changing shape as they moved so that they suddenly expanded to three times their size, or grew wings and floated through the air. Mumbling under their breath, the stumbling children and adults observed the luminescent figures with glazed eyes, and Nellie’s face reddened as she remembered the holograph she’d experienced in K Block. Was this the way she’d looked to the director and Col. Jolsen?

Another mindjoy,
Nell muttered contemptuously beside her.
At least in the Outbacks they’re natural. Here they make them with machines.

Maybe they’re being taught about heaven,
said Nellie, remembering the director’s words.
So they’ ll be ready for the mysteries when they’re revealed.

Heaven wouldn’t make them lose their brains,
Nell said sourly.
C’mon.

Suddenly, without opening or passing through the door, Nellie found herself standing beside her twin at the center of the room she’d just been looking into. Mumbling figures wandered past without giving them a second glance. Then a woman turned and fixed the twins in a blank stare.

Have you come to summon me?
The woman spoke inside Nellie’s head, her words sluggish and slurred.
Is it time to ride the light and become a star?

A star?
asked Nell, her eyes narrowing.
How are you going to become a star?

I’m a soldier of light,
said the woman.
All soldiers of light become stars.

Soldier of light
, interrupted Nellie, startled.
How can you be—

Hey
, came Fen’s voice behind them, and Nellie turned to see him opening the door.
How did you get in here?
he demanded.
And no talking to them. They’re in preparation.

Preparation for what?
Crossing her arms, Nell slitted her eyes at him.

For their destiny,
said Fen.
Come on, how did you get past the drones and into this room?

Just did,
Nell said vaguely and stalked back into the hall.

Don’t look at me,
thought Nellie, avoiding Fen’s glare.
We were in the hall and then we were in this room. That’s all I know.

Thoughts whirling, she stared at her twin’s back
. Ride the light. Soldier of light. Star
. It all had to mean something, but what?

Realization swept her, scattering the interference field that sat on her brain, the scene before her dissolved into a mass of screaming blue-white energy, and she saw. The light coming from the walls, ceiling and floor was
bits
of light, just as Nell had said. And each bit of light was a star, a human soul that had been taken from some poor kid or adult who’d probably been “prepared” like those drifting around the room they’d just left.

As the mass of blue-white energy began to fade, Nellie caught a glimpse of her twin’s double, the girl in the gold dress, walking ahead of them, her head tilted to one side as if listening to something.
The screaming?
Nellie wondered as she watched her. Why would the double be listening to that?

Hey,
she hissed, catching up to Nell.
The light in the walls — it’s made up of people’s souls. That’s the stars they’re talking about.

I kno—
Nell started to reply, but was interrupted by Fen.

That’s enough,
he ordered behind them.
No more talking, just walk
.

Turning, Nellie saw him standing between the drones, pointing a stun gun at them.
Where did that come from?
she thought wildly.
He didn’t have one before. Neither did the drones.

But when her twin caught sight of the weapon, all she did was snort. Suddenly the stun gun vanished from Fen’s hand and reappeared in Nell’s.

I know how you did that
, she scoffed.
You thought it from somewhere else, maybe a weapons storage room, into your hand. You can do that here because the vibrations are so quick. You just have to think something and it happens.

Fen’s eyes narrowed, and abruptly they were surrounded by a crowd of armed drones.
How long do you want to play games?
he asked coolly.

Nell’s eyes skimmed the watching drones, and then her shoulders sagged and the gun reappeared in Fen’s hand.
I think
, he said slowly,
we won’t bother walking the rest of the way. Not if you already know the think-do mystery.

Without warning, the drones disappeared, and the girls found themselves in a different corridor, standing before a magnificent domed doorway. Across the entranceway danced a shimmering red light, prohibiting any view of what lay beyond.

Here we are
, said Fen, pointing the stun gun at them.
The Receiving Chamber of the Gods. You may enter.

Gripping her twin’s hand tightly, Nellie stepped forward. For the next few seconds her brain was engulfed in a swirl of shimmering red, and then she was through the doorway and surrounded by a radiance so bright she had to close her eyes. Immediately she noticed her thoughts racing at triple their normal speed, and realized that the note she’d heard continually since her arrival was now so loud she could feel it reverberating through her body. Opening her eyes, she found she’d adjusted to the room’s quicker energy field and could make out actual forms within the radiance. The Receiving Chamber stretched before her, an enormous room with a ceiling
that arced impossibly high, and the entire place ached with light. Even with the interference field that sat tightly across her brain, Nellie could sense it — the walls, ceiling and floor were composed of bits of light that had been shaped into dense geometric patterns.

Like constellations,
she thought, her stomach heaving.
Stars.

Then her eyes fell on the hundreds of red-robed figures that stood about the room. Like the walls of the Receiving Chamber, Their faces shone with a brilliant light, and their bodies emitted a rapid high-pitched hum. Instantly Nellie’s knees gave out beneath her and she sank to the floor, covering her head with her hands.
The Gods,
she thought, riding wave after wave of panic — an entire heaven’s worth of Them, and They were all staring straight at her. Why were so many of Them packed into a single room like this? Was it for the Second Coming? The Goddess’s manifestation was imminent, she could feel it. It was about to happen
right now.

So,
came a voice, singing quick and high-up inside her head.
Nellie Joanne and Nellie Joan, you have been granted the honor of entering Our presence. Welcome to the realm of the Star Lords. You may approach the throne.

Robes swished as the crowd of Gods parted. Lifting her head, Nellie saw a red-hemmed path that led toward a throne at the room’s far end. On it sat a figure that emitted such brilliance, she gasped and ducked back down.

A hand grabbed her arm and hauled her to her feet.
Don’t look straight at Them,
Nell hissed
. Look off to the side. Then it’s better.

Hand in hand, they proceeded slowly along the narrow path that had been created for them. On either side the red-robed figures pressed close, Their collective energy field so intense it was like a crackling web of vibrations. Eyes lowered, Nellie darted sideways glances at the Gods. As near as she could make out They were humanlike, though taller, with jaws that protruded strangely. And from Their skin came a radiance like the stab of light emitted by a prism.
Like fire
, Nellie thought.
Or electric shock.

No one spoke. Except for the high-pitched hum coming from the Gods’ bodies and the single ongoing note, there was silence. Step by step, Nellie watched her feet take her toward the throne. Either her eyes were playing tricks, or the revved-up frequencies of this room were dissipating the interference field that sat on her brain. What she’d previously only been able to sense, she could now see — dense patterns of stars compressed so tightly, they actually formed the solid mass that was the floor beneath her feet. She was walking on human souls.

Without warning, the brilliant figure at the far end of the room rose to His feet. Before she could stop herself, Nellie’s gaze shot to His face and she stumbled to a halt, transfixed. Without the interference field riding her brain, the radiance was no longer overwhelming and she could see the head God clearly. There in His face, she saw it — a pair of extremely slanted eyes.

Dizziness twisted through her, a filing cabinet surfaced and opened, and she heard an old woman speak tremulously inside her head.
A special child
, the woman’s voice quavered.
A child of the Gods. I know one when I see one
.

Closing her eyes, Nellie rode out the thundering of her heart. The father she’d never been told anything about, the extreme slant of her own eyes — was it possible,
was it?
But she was a Cat, one of the lowest castes.

Only as a disguise,
said the glowing figure before her.
It was a way to conceal your true identity. For yes, Nellie Joanne, you and your twin are children of the Gods. Indeed, your father is one of Our higher lords, one who descended from Our quickest realm to breed with a human from your world. Your births were meticulously planned, for you were both created for a divine purpose, and your lives have been carefully guided in order to prepare you. Now it is time for your destiny to be revealed. But first We will allow you the opportunity to look upon Our faces and know Us. See me: I am the first among the lords of this realm, and my name is Eld.

As Eld spoke, a great spurt of radiance leapt from the top of His head, and He shot up to twice His height. Six wings unfurled from His back, four eyes appeared across His forehead, and a pattern of dazzling lasers emerged upon His chest. As if in echo, every other God in the room immediately took on the same new form, Their wings arcing high over Their heads. Stunned, Nellie gaped at the towering throng, then almost shouted aloud as her twin also altered form, sprouting wings and extra eyes and shooting up to match the Gods’ height. For one impossible, mind-numbing moment, Nell pushed her own height above that of the surrounding Gods, then shrank back to human size and form.

Show-offs,
Nellie could hear her muttering.
It’s just shape-shifting. Think They can scare me with that kind of ooly-gooly
. Crossing her arms, Nell watched slit-eyed as the Gods collectively returned to Their original form.

So
, said Eld, His voice slightly amused.
You know some of Our ways
.

I learned it in the Outbacks,
Nell scowled.
You can do it easy in this place because the vibrations are so quick, but they also make everyone think the same. If you had flux, you could each think yourself into a different shape
.

Flux?
asked Eld, His voice growing more amused.
And what is flux? Is it good?

Of course, it’s good
, Nell said fiercely.
It’s what unfixes things and lets you be what you want to be.

Now that sounds like an interesting concept
, said Eld, and a dry heaving sound ran around the room. With a start, Nellie realized the Gods were laughing.

“Hey.” In response to the laughter Nell’s chin rose, and her eyes locked with Eld’s. “What kind of level is this, anyway?” she asked, her voice loud and clear as she deliberately broke the mind link. “It’s different from the others. Not just quicker. There aren’t any doubles, and the vibrations are ... twisted.”

At the sound of her voice, a rippling sensation ran through the floor and the Gods’ laughter was sucked into a collective gasp. Instantly Eld leapt to His feet
. DO NOT SPEAK ALOUD!
He thundered, His voice rocking Nellie’s thoughts. Beside her Nell flinched, paling noticeably. Then her scowl deepened.

Why?
she asked stubbornly.

It is Our way
, Eld boomed.
You have only to think a thought and We know it.

But anyone can link minds in a quicker level
, said Nell, glancing around.
That’s what this is, isn’t it — a really quick level? But where are the doubles?

Would you shut up?
In a mad panic, Nellie tugged at her twin’s sleeve.
You’re getting Them really pissed off.

Do not fear, Nellie Joanne,
said Eld, cutting her off.
It is not your destiny to die here.
He raised one hand, and without warning Nellie found herself floating midair, several feet above her twin’s head. Panicking, she flailed about, seeking something solid to grab onto, but there was nothing beneath her except a dense humming sensation. Fear lit her like a scream and she was certain Eld had lied, she was about to die and be turned into a star. Then she realized the crowd of Gods had surrounded her with Their collective energy field and were holding her effortlessly midair with Their minds.

Astounded, she lay rigid, afraid to move an inch in any direction. About her the vibrations pulsed like an electric storm, huge masses of energy that snapped and hissed, but she remained unaffected.