First Love: A Superbundle Boxed Set of Seven New Adult Romances (74 page)

“Yeah, I’m really not looking forward to the exam,” I say. “It’ll be easy, but all tests suck. It’s kind of a rule.”

“Pretty shitty deal to have a test on a Friday. Bad karma for your professor, you know?”

“Hey, better than on a Monday,” I say, and she nods back.

“True, but aren’t we supposed to be past that by now? Second-semester seniors should have it easy so we can go on interviews.”

“I kind of like keeping busy,” I say quietly. I don’t know if Tina heard me, and she doesn’t say anything for almost three blocks. I can feel myself working up a sweat underneath my coat as I struggle up the snowy hill.

“What do you have going on today?” I ask, gasping from exertion as we scale the miniature Everest of the west campus hill.

“Just one class, and then a lab session for Alcoholic Studies,” she says, winking at me. How is she not sweating? She isn’t even breathing hard from the climb! This is so unfair.

“Hey Maria, you should totally come out with me tonight!” she gushes excitedly. “Let’s go to The Nines! Wait... no... Pixel. Fuck it, how about Stella’s? Yeah, let’s go to Stella’s!”

I smile at how excited she’s getting and then shake my head.

“Tina, you know how I get around... crowds.”

She elbows me affectionately as we reach the top of the hill.

“Come on, Maria! You’re going to ace that stupid test, and then we’re set for the weekend! You’ve gotta let yourself live a little.”

“I like living a little when it’s just with you,” I protest. “It’s when everyone else is there that I have problems.”

“You have to start going outside and doing things. I know I sound like your mother, but it’s true.”

I shake my head. If I can barely stand being next to someone on the bus, how am I supposed to handle a crowded Friday-night bar?

“I can’t do it, Tina,” I say quietly.

She sighs, stops dead in her tracks, and shoots me a glare that I’ve learned, over the years, means that it’s time for ‘serious-talk.’

“Maria... where are you going to be at this time next year?”

I stare back at her silently. I don’t have the slightest clue where I’m going to be; I haven’t found a job yet. I had a panic attack during the single on-campus interview I’ve been offered.

“I don’t know,” I answer. “Grad school, probably.”

“I have no idea where I’m going to be either,” she says in a flat, serious tone.

“Then why...”

“Maria, we might never see each other again after this semester.”

I start to protest, but she cuts me off and pretends to zip my mouth shut.

“I want to see you get better, just in case I’m not with you next year,” she says quietly.

I silently look down at my snow-caked sneakers. I know what she means, but it’s not as easy as she’s making it sound. She knows that, though. She knows all about what happened.

Tina suddenly closes the gap between us and wraps her arms tightly around me.

“I care a lot about you, Maria,” she whispers. “I mean it. I want to see you be happy for once.”

I hug her back and smile weakly. She’s so short that she could almost pass for my little sister. In a way, I really am her sister. I'm the only family she has left.

“You okay?” she asks, finally letting go of me. I nod back.

“I’m fine. I’ll see you tonight, okay?”

“You mean at Stella’s, right?” she asks, still not willing to let me retreat inside my shell.

I sigh and nod dejectedly, and her face lights up at my answer.

“Good. Seriously, you’ll do fine, Maria. I’ll see you tonight!”

She waves to me as our paths diverge at the base of the clock tower, and I wave back to her as she continues the long walk to her chemistry class. As I walk the last block to my stats class, I am so lost in my thoughts that I don’t even notice the tower bells as they play the school song.

––––––––

“
Easiest test ever
,” I think, grinning with satisfaction as I check to make sure I didn’t do anything stupid like skip a question or accidentally forget a page. I expected far worse than this, and I’m pleasantly surprised at how easy the test was.

It’s only 11:45 AM. I didn’t even take a full hour to finish it, and the professor gave us two and half.

I feel my face flush as I realize nobody else is done yet. I’m the first one finished, and I hate standing up in front of people. It feels as if every eye in the room is watching me as I rise from my desk. My pulse quickens and it’s all I can do not to retreat to my chair and hide inside my coat.

The TA looks up at me as I approach his desk. He’s a blond-haired guy, slim, about my height and maybe a little bit older than I am. I'm suddenly incredibly uncomfortable as his gray eyes focus on me, and I feel like I’m moving in slow motion as I walk toward him.

“
You can do this, Maria,
” I think, urging myself to keep moving forward. “
Just hand him the paper and get out of the room. Be normal!
”

“Hmm... pretty quick,” he says quietly, holding out his hand to take my paper. “How do you think you did?”

My hand trembles as I place my test in his hand. The paper rustles and rattles against his palm from how much I’m shaking.

“I... I think I did oka... okay... I think,” I stammer awkwardly. The only way I can even get the words out is by avoiding his gaze and instead focusing on the long white scar running along his jaw.

“You sure? You’re done really early,” he says, staring at me curiously.

I hate the way he’s staring at me. He’s looking at me the same way Darren used to. I have to get out of here... I need air!

My voice catches in my throat as I try to answer him, and instead I make a horribly awkward and embarrassing gurgle. I need to escape. I can’t be around him while he looks at me like that.

I don’t want his attention—I don’t want
any
attention!

Panic takes control of me. I slap the paper into his hand as my face turns bright red, and I race for the side door.

Friday, February 15 – 11:45 AM

Owen

God, tests are so damned boring. Nobody mentioned this part to me when I signed up to be a teaching assistant. Ooh, free credits, organized homework time, and a pretty pathetic paycheck! Sure, they tell you about those parts, but nobody ever mentions the part where you get to stare in silence at a bunch of students for two and a half hours.

To make it even worse, I reviewed Professor Meador’s exam before I handed it out to everyone. It’s stupidly hard, and at least one student is going to burn me in effigy tonight. Whatever. I can deal.

Oh man, I’m
so bored
. This is the worst.

The clock ticks deafeningly above my head, and I crane my neck and look up at it. Only forty minutes have passed. I am in Hell.

“
Bullshit. No I’m not
,” I think, and I shake my head in shame. I’ve been to Hell before. I grew up there.

I grind my teeth and force myself to think about happier things, like the obnoxiously large beer I’m going to order tonight.

I don’t usually go out to bars anymore. I feel like I’m too old now, even though I’m only one year older than the seniors sitting in front of me with their heads bowed, scribbling feverishly as they race against the clock. I promised my roommate Craig that I’d meet him at The Nines, his favorite bar, and actually go outside for once. I don’t want to, but a promise is a promise.

“
You fucking hypocrite
.”

My conscience hits me with a cheap shot and somehow knocks the wind out of me. It’s right, too; I am a hypocrite.

A promise is only a promise until keeping it might get me hurt. Been there, done that.

The sound of a chair creaking drags me out of my thoughts and back to reality, and I look up to see a girl putting on her puffy, blue and white winter coat. I glance up at the clock again and then back down at her in surprise. We’re only forty-five minutes into the test. Is she done already?

She seems horribly nervous as she approaches my desk. It’s always hard to stand up in front of people—I always hated being the first one done for that very reason—but this is a bit much. She looks as if she might faint at any moment.

The girl holds her test paper out to me as she reaches the desk, and I can see her shaking. Poor thing. She must have given up on Meador’s test. That jerk of a professor totally made the test too hard.

“Hmm... pretty quick,” I say quietly, and I hold out my hand to take her paper. “How do you think you did?”

I feel the paper bouncing up and down against my hand as she tries to hand it to me. She’s a nervous wreck!

“I... I think I did oka... okay... I think,” she stammers.

I can tell that I’m making her upset, but I can’t stop staring at her. She’s tall and slender, and her black hair is stuffed roughly into the hood of her coat as if she’s ashamed of it. She’d be really beautiful if she took better care of herself.

Her eyes intrigue me most of all, though. They are a deep, beautiful emerald green, but something about her wide-eyed fear is making me uncomfortable. In the back of my mind, I know exactly why I feel uncomfortable, but I can’t let myself think about it. I know what’ll happen if I do.

“You sure? You’re done really early,” I ask, trying to give her one last chance to sit down and work on the paper more. I don’t think she’s going to take me up on the offer.

She practically throws the paper at me and then races for the side door. It’s all I can do not to laugh now, because her reaction is just so absurd. It’s just a test, girl. There are worse things that can happen to you than failing a test.

I would know; I’ve had most of them happen to me.

“
Maria Ayala
.”

I read the name on her paper and then tuck it into the pocket of my backpack sitting next to my chair. I know better than to try grading it now. I have a bad habit of laughing at terrible answers, and with a reaction like that, she must have failed really, really badly.

––––––––

“Hey, Owen! Over here!”

Craig waves to me from a bench in front of the bagel place as I cross the bridge from campus. I wanted to go back to the apartment and clean up before going out to The Nines, but I ended up stuck with Professor Meador talking about the test. Of course, he wants me to review the stats on some undergrad’s research paper on top of everything else, too. I don’t think I’ve ever
once
gotten out of a meeting without him giving me more work to do. I thought PhD students were supposed to do all that stuff, not M.S candidates.

Maybe they have even more work to do. It’s hard to say with Professor Meador. He’s a bit... off. Great guy, but I don’t think he’s taken a vacation in fifty years.

“Hi Craig. Sorry to keep you waiting.”

He raises his gloved hand for a high-five, but there’s no way I’m pulling my bare hands out in this freezing cold weather. My gloves are back on my kitchen counter because I’m an idiot and left for class without them.

“Fine, be a spoil-sport,” he grumbles, and he brushes his messy brown hair back with one glove. It only looks even messier now.

The sidewalk is packed with Friday-night partiers, and I feel like a modern-day Balboa as I carve a path through the dense, human forest separating me from my beer. All I need now is a snazzy plumed helmet.

I accidentally run straight into a short, blond-haired girl going the other direction, and I instinctively grab her by the shoulder to stop her from falling over.

“Hey, watch where the fuck you’re going!” she snaps and then roughly shoves my hand off her shoulder.

“Oh Jesus, I’m so sorry. I didn’t see you.”

I feel terribly embarrassed, and it only gets worse when I realize I’ve just accidentally made fun of her for being short. My face turns red as I stammer an apology for the accidental slight, but the girl only laughs and shrugs it off.

“Hey, don’t worry about it,” she says, and she waves to Craig with a grin.

“Hey, Tina! I haven’t seen you in forever.”

“Yeah, been a while. You still hanging in there?”

Tina forgets about me and chats happily with Craig. I gather from their conversation that they were in the same dorm on North Campus back when they were freshmen, but that’s about as clear as the references get. Everything else is a long string of inside jokes.

“Well, we’ve gotta get going,” she says. “If you get bored, though, come find us at Stella’s, okay?”

“Sure thing, Tina. You two have a good night,” says Craig, and he waves goodbye.

I wave goodbye to Tina, but as I turn away and start to follow Craig again, I stop dead in my tracks.

“
Two?
”

I spin around again, and my jaw nearly hits the floor as I see the tall, black-haired girl walking beside Tina. It’s Maria from my class this morning. How did I not notice her the entire time they were talking? Her long, straight black hair is hanging free now, no longer tucked into the hood of her coat, and she is laughing and talking excitedly with Tina as they walk up the street. The paralyzing fear I saw this morning is gone completely.

As I stare after her, Tina suddenly looks over her shoulder and glares at me. Her defiant, protective expression is so clear that not even a megaphone could have gotten the message across any clearer.

“
Back off, buddy. Leave her alone.
”

She nudges Maria and whispers something to her, and then Maria turns and looks back at me. Her beautiful green eyes grow wide and dark as the laughter in them fades away, replaced instead with abject terror.

I am floored by the fear I see in her eyes, but even worse is that it’s directed at me.

Maria is terrified of me, and I have no idea why. Does she think I’m going to tell everyone about her bad test score? I haven’t even graded her paper yet! There’s no way on God’s green earth that I’d waste my Friday night doing that.

I shake my head as an uncomfortable memory flits into sight for a millisecond. I recognize the fear in Maria’s eyes, and it’s too late to close Pandora’s box now.

The memory roars to life and hits me so hard that I nearly fall over. I gasp in shock, turn away, and grab onto the back of a nearby bench to steady myself.