Fading Away (Hardest Mistakes #1) (19 page)

***

She stays in her room all day. When Ashlee heads off to bed, I trudge up the stairs and push Sam’s door open with my nose. She gets up from her chair in front of her desk as I walk in and pushes me back out the door.

“I think you should sleep somewhere else tonight. I need time to think.” She doesn’t even glance my way as she closes the door with a definite thud. I stare at her door for a moment longer before curling up in front of it and closing my eyes.

Sammy

The warmth of the shower clears my fuzzy brain. I’m starting to prune by the time I climb out and change into a pair of jeans and a loose t-shirt. I don’t feel like staying put in my room today, so I swipe my glasses off the nightstand on my way out the open door only to trip over Kai. His gaze is focused on me while I turn and right myself. Taking a deep breath, I plod down the stairs to the kitchen.

“Hey,” Ashlee greets me as I walk over to the fridge and pull out the carton of orange juice. I nod a hello and smile. “This was on the front porch, it’s addressed to you.”

I swing around to find her holding out a teddy bear and a card with my name scrawled on it.

I snatch the bear and take a quick look at the note, already guessing who it’s from—Riley. I turn and throw the teddy into the living room. “Thanks.” She raises her eyebrow at me but goes back to flipping pancakes in the frying pan. I down my glass of juice in record time and head for the front door. I need to clear my head and work a few things out in the fresh air by myself.

I dawdle down the street and turn toward the outskirts of town toward the surrounding forest. I reach the edge and stop to gaze up at the massive ancient trees. Sitting down on the soft grass against the closest trunk, I start pulling at the new shoots in frustration.

I’m confused and hurt. I definitely don’t forgive Riley, and probably never will. He was cheating on me for who knows how long. I’ve completely lost all trust in him, but Kai—I just don’t know. He told me that he and Ashlee kissed, which I suppose was the right thing to do, even if he didn’t need to. He was such a selfish and arrogant twit when I knew him at school, can someone really change that much? He’s my friend and I care for him. Groaning, I shake my head; this is all just so tangled up and confusing.

I drag my feet the entire way home and up the pathway to the door. I can hear Ashlee yell from the other side as I twist the knob and step through.

“Kai, what the hell? Look at this mess!” I tip-toe to the living room doorway and peek around the corner, curious. Ashlee is standing over Kai, who is lying in a pile of fluffy white stuffing, gazing up at her with his ears back. I step around the corner and walk into the room hesitantly. Kai turns his focus to me and I put my hand up, covering my mouth to hide my laugh. There’s a piece of brown material hanging from his jaws; it looks like my teddy bear from Riley.

CHAPTER 26

Kai

Ashlee glares at the mess I’ve made of Sam’s stuffed bear. When she realizes I’m looking past her, she turns and glances at Sam before looking back at me, her face twisted in a confused frown. I see the change in her face as everything clicks into place, her eyes widen and her mouth opens slightly. She’s a smart girl.

“Oh my god.”

Sam’s gaze darts over to her. “What?”

I turn to watch Ashlee again; she’s staring at me pointedly as if asking if it’s true.

“Nothing.” She spins around and leaves the room, glancing back at me as she walks up the stairs. She knows; she’s just figured out my feelings for Sam. I should have said something to her. Now I’ve probably hurt her.

Sam raises her eyebrow, sighs, and gestures to the mess around me. “Was this really necessary?” I duck my head and whine. I don’t actually remember ripping up the stuffed animal, I blanked out, but she doesn’t need to know that. She shakes her head at me and starts picking up the white fluff, mumbling under her breath.

***

Ashlee doesn’t come down from her room for dinner. Guilt gnaws at me as I trail up the stairs after Sam. I glance at Ashlee’s door before I push my way through her legs into her room. She’s not locking me out again. I wait patiently while she gets dressed in the bathroom and washes her face. She narrows her eyes at me and then slips under the covers, switching the light off as she settles in. I hesitate and jump up onto the bed, crawling up near her face. I can see her clearly in the dark, excellent night vision has its advantages. Her eyes are still open, but she can’t see me in the darkness. I whine softly and shift closer to her. I need her to forgive me.

She huffs out a deep breath and moves her hand to touch the fur on my front leg. I lay my head down on her fingers and close my eyes. She whispers my name before her breathing turns heavy with sleep.

Sammy

Ashlee seems a little weird toward me the next morning when I step into the kitchen to make myself some breakfast. I frown. “Are you okay, Ash?”

She takes a deep breath and smiles at me. “I’m fine.” I sit down across from her at the table and dig into my corn flakes. “I was thinking about having another party—what do you think?”

I look over at her. “Like the party we had before classes started?”

“Yes.” She grins.

“Why? .”

She pauses and takes a huge bite of her apple. “Why not?”

I raise my eyebrow at her explanation, then smile with a nod, agreeing. “Let me know what you want me to do.”

She finishes off her apple and stands up to chuck it in the bin. “It’s going to be on Friday, so I need you to help me clean the house and decorate.”

I get up and rinse my bowl out in the sink. “Sure.”

Sammy

I don’t even know half the people packed into our house dancing, drinking, and talking. It’s getting late. I weave my way through the crowd to the kitchen and pour myself a Coke. The party’s starting to wind down. I smile and wave to people I recognize as they walk past, some of them leaving, until finally, Kiera stops beside me and starts a conversation about her new hair color. It’s a gorgeous deep brown and I’m a little jealous of how well she can pull it off.

“Sammy?” Someone taps me on the shoulder. I spin around to find Riley, one hand behind his head and a shy smile on his face. What is he doing here? Who invited him? I frown, refusing to answer. He nods. “Right. Sammy, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. I still want to be with you, and I promise it’ll never happen again.”

Kiera stares at me, wide-eyed in surprise. I see a flash of silver behind Riley. He turns and glares at Kai, who’s standing behind him with a look of disgust on his face. Kai pushes past him roughly and comes to stand beside me. Riley glances at me one last time before turning on his heel and walking away. I let out a sigh of relief and give Kai a small smile of thanks. He pulls his hoodie back up over his head and walks away to get a drink. As soon as he’s gone, Kiera turns on me. “Who’s Mr. Hottie?”

“Umm…” I look over at Kai.

“Is he your new boyfriend?”

“I don’t know.” How am I supposed to answer that one? I’m not sure what Kai is to me. She grins and starts describing her new classes for next semester as Kai comes back to stand at my side.

After Kiera leaves a little while later, Kai excuses himself and sneaks out onto the deck for fresh air. I tidy up a few empty bottles and plastic cups into garbage bags and then amble out onto the deck myself. I freeze in my tracks when I look up to see Kai and Ashlee standing close together holding hands. Kai says something to her and she nods, leaning up to kiss him. My mouth drops open in shock. I feel my chest clench in pain. I can’t believe this. This is so much worse and hurts so much more.

“I knew it,” I shout at them. Both their heads snap up and look over at me. “You’re just like Riley. You’re all the same!” Ashlee opens her mouth to speak and drops Kai’s hands.

Kai takes a step toward me with his hands out. “No, Sammy, you don’t understand. It’s not what it looks like.”

“I trusted you, Kai. Just leave me alone.” I turn and bolt for the front door, snatching my coat off the hook on my way. Once I’m outside I throw off my ridiculous shoes and sprint down the street, around the corner, and into the forest. It’s the only place I can be alone, where they won’t find me. I should have known Kai is just the same as he always has been: a liar and a selfish douche bag. I don’t know how I ever could’ve believed he was different.

Kai

“Sammy, wait!” Ashlee calls out as Sam slams the front door. God, this is all so messed up.

Ashlee starts for the door; I grab her by the arm and pull her back. “No, you stay here. I’ll go find her.”

She nods, her brow creasing in worry. “Be careful.”

I don’t know how much time I have left. I have to find her quickly. I dash out the door and head down the street. I don’t have my canine senses, so I’m not sure which way she’s gone. I come to a stop at the crossroads at the end of our street and search the darkness for any clue on which way she’s gone.

Lightning flashes above me and thunder rolls off the clouds. I flinch; I hate storms. I see another flash out of the corner of my eye and turn toward the road that leads out of town. Somehow this feels like the right way. My shoes slap the pavement as I run toward the tall trees of Black Pike Forest. Drops of rain start falling and soaking into my clothes.

I reach the first trees and slow to a walk. The stabbing pain in my head is increasing, I have to change back. I head into the cover of the trees, rip my hoodie and shirt off and drop to the muddy ground in pain. The ache sears across my body until I’m nearly unconscious and then I’m on all fours again. The enhanced senses kick into gear and I sprint through the trees, following the faint lemony scent of Sam’s soap.

The rain soaks my coat and the scent trail gets fainter and fainter as the rain washes it away. I’m just about to howl in frustration when something shines through the dark trees beside me. A deer is standing about twenty feet away, watching me. I growl at it, I don’t have time for this, I have to find Sam. My animal instincts overtake me and I lunge. It turns and dashes through the trees. I chase it.

CHAPTER 27

Sammy

Okay, so maybe this was a bad idea. My dress is soaked and I’m shivering, even through my thick coat. I’m standing at the edge of a small clearing. I don’t know which way I came from or which way to go to get home. I’m positive I’m not that far in, but if I turn the wrong way I’ll be even worse off. God, I’m so stupid. Why did I have to run off like that? It would have been just as easy to lock myself in my room to fume over Kai and Ashlee. I spin in a circle; the lightning illuminates everything as if it were the middle of the day.

A deep growl sounds from a clump of trees across the clearing. I turn toward the noise slowly and wrap my arms around myself. The next lightning flash reveals a huge brown grizzly bear on all fours lumbering toward me. I have to cover my mouth to stop the scream. I must have disturbed his den. What do I do? I read somewhere not to run, they chase you. Oh god.

A howl echoes from somewhere in the distance; the bear pauses and lifts its nose to sniff the air. I take the opportunity to take a few hurried steps backwards toward the thick trees. The bear swings its head back around to me and lets out a deafening roar before launching into a run. I scream and turn for the nearest tree. My fingernails scrape at the bark as I try to climb it. The closest limb is too high for me to reach in time. I close my eyes at the last minute and drop to the ground, curling into a ball.

I hold my breath, but the bear doesn’t come. Peeking through my fingers, I find the bear a few feet away attacking something smaller. I sit up just as Kai launches himself at the bear’s throat.

“Kai!” The screech echoes through the clearing. The bear swings its massive paw around and swipes at Kai’s side. He doesn’t let go of the bear’s throat. In the next flash of lightning, I scramble to my feet and feel around for a tree branch or a stick, anything. Everything is soaking wet and slippery. My searching fingers find a large thick rotten branch. I spin around with the branch held high and run, screaming at the bear. It swipes again and successfully knocks Kai off. He hits the ground with a sickening thump. The bear roars at me and then turns around, lumbering back through the trees.

I can’t breathe. I’m frozen in place holding a tree branch over my head, staring at Kai’s motionless body. He’s not moving. “Kai!” I snap out of my stupor and scramble across the slick mud, sliding to his side. His whine turns into a groan as his body starts trembling violently. I avert my eyes and shrug off my coat, laying it over his changing body. My tears mingle with the rain running down my cheeks. I push the wet dangling strands of hair out of my face and turn back to Kai. He’s lying on his back, fully human and semi-conscious with his head turned toward me, eyes half open. I lean down to brush the muddy hair from his face. He moans softly, and the next flash of light reveals the deep lacerations down his sides and the dark splotches of blood smeared along his body and neck. I hold in the sob that crawls up my throat and crouch down so I’m over his face, blocking the rain. His silver eyes are dull and unfocused, his breathing labored and uneven. He’s lost too much blood.

“Kai,” my whisper is choked and barely audible. His eyes move slightly to look at me, his hand twitches at his side and I reach down a grasp it in mine. “You’re going to be okay, I promise.”

He gasps, trying to suck in air.

“I’m so sorry for running away. It was stupid. But don’t leave me, please…just stay with me.” I lean closer, pressing my forehead to his. “I love you, Kai.” His hand tightens around mine weakly and his eyes drift shut.

Panic swells up inside me. I need to get him to a hospital. I struggle to search through the pockets of my coat looking for my cell phone; my hands feel clumsy and thick. Hopefully the rain hasn’t killed it yet. My fingers brush the hard case and I rip it out, fumbling to unlock the screen. I nearly drop it in the mud before tapping the green call button and dialing for an ambulance.

A calm male voice answers on the first ring. “911, what is your emergency?” My hand is shaking so bad I can barely hold the phone to my ear.

“Please help, there was a bear attack and now my friend’s hurt.” My voice comes out strangled and cracked. Kai isn’t moving, but his chest rises and falls with small shudders. Choking on another sob, I brush the tears from my wet eyes. “Please come quick.”

“Where are you, Miss?” the calm voice asks.

“I don’t know.” I glance around the dark trees. “I think we’re at the edge of the forest on Johnson’s Road.”

“Okay, I’m sending a search party now, don’t worry—they will find you soon. Please stay on the line.” I don’t get a chance to answer, my phone beeps in my ear and I pull it away to look at the blank screen. It’s still on but the rain must have gotten to it. I drop the useless thing in the mud and bend back down over Kai.

“It’s okay, you’re going to be okay. I’m so sorry.” A small noise escapes Kai’s lips, but his eyes don’t open. My heart is beating a million miles a minute, thumping loudly in my ears. I can hear sirens in the distance. I can’t tell which direction they’re coming from. I lean closer and press my lips against Kai’s, they’re cold and I can taste blood. I move to lay my head on his chest, listening to his faint, stuttering heartbeat. I sit up when I hear voices through the trees, and then a torch light flashes. “Over here,” I croak out, it’s not loud enough. I try again. “Here!” My scream stops the voices and they converge on us.

I’m pulled away from Kai by gentle hands and wrapped in a blanket. If they find it weird that Kai is naked, they don’t say anything. I watch as he’s wrapped in a thermal blanket, lifted onto a stretcher, and carried back through the trees toward the road and the waiting ambulance. The paramedics ask me questions on the way to the hospital, I don’t remember many of them, but I’m pretty sure I answer. I can’t stop staring at Kai, lying on the stretcher with an oxygen mask over his face and blood smeared everywhere. A paramedic is leaning over him, stabbing a needle into his arm. I reach over slowly and brush the stray mud crusted hair off his face.

Kai

“Where am I?” My voice echoes oddly in the vast white space. I look down to find I’m wearing white pants and a white shirt. I spin in a circle, it’s all the same; everywhere I look, endless white. A brilliant bright light sears my vision and I have to close my eyes to block it out. When I open them again a glowing deer walks into view. I nearly can’t see it; it blends in with the white surroundings. The deer bursts into light again and I throw my hand up to shield my face.

“Kai Jordan,” a female voice echoes around me. I drop my arm slowly to find a beautiful tall lady wearing a flowing silver dress. Her white hair cascades over her shoulders and down to her waist. Her bright green eyes are a startling contrast to her pale face.

“You? You did this to me,” I nearly shout at her, but I hold in my temper. “Where am I? And who are you?”

She smiles and takes a delicate step toward me. “I am called many names, none that you could pronounce correctly. You needed to learn, Kai. Your selfishness and arrogance would have destroyed you and everyone around you. You are lucky we crossed paths so I could help you. I know you will do great things with your life, Kai Jordan. Do not waste what I have given you.”

I frown. “It will be a bit hard to do anything as a dog, don’t you think?” Anger leeches into my voice but she doesn’t flinch.

She comes closer until she’s towering over me. She smiles again and leans down to place her fragile fingers on my face. “Your sacrifice for another has broken the enchantment.” Her outline starts to waver and disappear.

“Wait, what do you mean? Am I dead?”

Her chiming laughter echoes and her form turns transparent. “We will meet again soon.”

“Wait!” I scream and lunge at her, my fingers go straight through her. Everything bursts into sparkling white light; I can’t even see myself anymore.