F Paul Wilson - Secret History 02 (29 page)

           
"But two sisters with multiple
personalities… it sounds so far fetched."

           
"On the surface, yes. But not
quite so far fetched when you consider the specifics of your case: two
genetically identical children subjected simultaneously to identical trauma.
Given those circumstances, is it so outlandish to suppose that the
psychological defense mechanisms would also be identical?" He ticked
points off on his fingers "Same genes, same trauma, same response. It is
logical."

           
Kara was numb.

           
"When do we start
therapy?" she said.

           
"Today, if you wish."

           
"I wish. What kind of
therapy?"

           
"Just let me worry about
that," he said with a small, condescending smile.

           
The sudden surge of anger within her
energized Kara. Anything was better than feeling afraid.

           
"I am not an idiot, Dr. Gates.
If this is going to work I have to know what's going on. I am not a child and
will not be led through the dark by the hand."

           
He stared at her a while before
answering.

           
"Very well. I plan to use free
association at the start. I'll have you lay back in the recliner and begin
talking off the top of your head about your childhood. I'll be searching for
what we refer to as 'blocked' areas. When I have identified a pattern of
blocks, I will put you under hypnosis and try to unblock those areas. If I'm
successful, you will then begin the most difficult part of the therapy: you
will have to face the painful memories you have repressed since
childhood."

           
"And that will do it?"

           
"Theoretically, yes. Once the
repressed memories are free, once you have dealt with them emotionally and
intellectually as Kara, there will be no more need for Janine. She will either
go dormant permanently or cease to exist."

           
It sounded sensible to Kara. She
felt the first stirrings of hope.

           
"Let's get to it."

           
"There's something else you
should know," he said, holding up a hand. "It will not be as easy as
it sounds. It will take a
long
time,
perhaps years, during which you will come to hate me, call me an incompetent, a
charlatan, and want to quit. But you must have faith. You must stay with the
therapy."

           
A cold lump of fear formed again in
Kara's throat.

           
"Years? You mean I've got to
spend
years
wondering whether I'm
going to turn into this other person who writes on walls and God knows what
else?"

           
He shook his head and pulled a pad
from the top drawer of his desk.

           
"We can do something about
that. Your second personality appears to be adopting a pattern of activity
similar to your sister's: Janine takes over only when you are in periods of
lighter sleep."

           
That was a relief.

           
"Then I'm safe during the
day."

           
"For now.

           
"What does that mean?"

           
" 'Kara' is your primary
personality, the dominant one, the personality through which you deal with the
workaday world. This is a strongly entrenched, well-integrated, adult
personality that has no need for 'Janine.' So 'Kara' remains in the driver seat
while 'Janine,' the relatively minor personality, remains in the passenger
seat. She has been dormant for a quarter century or so and hasn't the power to
push 'Kara' aside and take over—except when 'Kara' is asleep. But the more time
she logs in control, the stronger she will become. And some day she may well be
able to assert dominance any time she wishes."

           
Kara fought the horror crawling
through her. Not to be in control… to be dominated by a stranger, even if it
was of her own creation…

           
"What can I do?"

           
"It's what
we
can do: suppress her. Don't give her time in the driver seat.
That's why I'm prescribing something that will keep both you
and
'Janine' asleep all night."

           
He handed her the slip. It was for
thirty Halcion tablets.

           
"You prescribed these for
Kelly. They obviously didn't help her too much."

           
Dr. Gates' smile was small and
bitter.

           
"Your sister wouldn't take them
if she had to work the next day. She said they made her groggy in the morning.
Which they might."

           
Groggy
in the morning
… a small price to pay for controlling Janine. Kara held up
the prescription.

           
"Guaranteed to work?"

           
"Nothing is guaranteed in
psychiatry. But they will give you an edge. Take one every night, Miss
Wade."

           
Kara folded the slip and dropped it
in her purse. She nodded toward the recliner.

           
"Shall we get started?"

           
"Hey lady!" Rob called
from his car window as he saw Kara come out of the medical arts building.
"Need a ride?"

           
She glanced at him with a get-lost
look, then her face relaxed into a smile. A worn, tired smile, but a smile
nonetheless. She came over to the car. "How long have you been waiting
here?" It had been an hour. He hadn't been able to see Doc Winters today,
so he'd set it up for tomorrow. He'd got here around five thirty and had begun
to fear he'd missed her.

           
"Too long. Get in. I'll drive
you where you're going."

           
She got in the other side, leaned
back against the head rest, and closed her eyes. She looked beat. Rob reached over
and squeezed her hand. She didn't pull away.

           
"Tough day?" he said.

           
She nodded. "You wouldn't
believe."

           
"Want to tell me about it over
a drink?"

           
She opened her eyes and looked at
him.

           
"A drink would be nice."

           
He didn't want to take her to Leo's
so he found a restaurant on Eighth and parked by the fire hydrant. The place
had upscale decor with lots of neon in the window, the kind of place that could
charge twenty-five bucks for portions that wouldn't feed a toddler. But it was
nearly empty so they got a table near the rear. No menus, just drinks. Rob
ordered a scotch, Kara had a chablis.

           
She was reticent, but slowly he drew
the events of the weekend out of her. It was chilling. Those words carved over
Jill's bed gave him the creeps.

           
He said, "I think you did the
right thing, getting out of there. I only wish you had someone else as a
doctor."

           
"You keep saying that. Do you
know something about Dr. Gates that I don't?"

           
"Nothing bad. Everyone I talk
to says he's tops. I just don't like him."

           
"Neither do I. He's got all the
warmth of an earthworm. Not the sort you look forward to spending an hour a
day, three days a week with."

           
"That often?"

           
"Monday-Wednesday-Friday. He's
going to jump me into heavy therapy at first to see if we can get a quick
response. As I said, he's not Dr. Warmth, but if he knows his stuff and can get
me through this, then he's the one I should be with."

           
"I guess so. I just—"

           
"It's all my fault!" she
blurted. Tears glistened in her eyes. "If only I'd listened to him and not
tried that hypnotism, none of this would be happening."

           
"Don't blame yourself, Kara.
You had to know if—"

           
"And now I do! Rob, I'm
frightened! To think that I was standing over Jill's bed with my father's old
carving knife, cutting words into the wall! It makes me sick!"

           
"You'll be all right. They
don't come any tougher than you, Kara. If anyone's going to lick this thing,
it's you."

           
Rob desperately wanted to raise her
spirits and would have said anything to buck her up, but he believed what he'd
said. Kara was strong. He had real faith in her mental toughness.

           
"I hope so," she said,
sniffing and wiping her eyes with a napkin. She finished her wine. "Can we
get out of here?"

           
"Sure."

           
"Staying at your aunt's?"
he said as he drove toward the East Side on Twenty-fourth. With all the little
businesses closed and no trucks double parked to load and unload, it was an
easy trip.

           
"For now. I don't know what I'm
going to do long term. This could be a lengthy siege. I may have to move
here."

           
Rob was ashamed of the tiny surge of
delight those words elicited. He knew how she hated the city.

           
She said, "During the day I'll
be at Ellen's with Jill.

           
She'll sleep there, too. But for the
time being I'm going to sleep over at Kelly's."

           
"Alone? Why on earth would you
want to do that?"

           
"I don't. But Dr. Gates
suggested it. He said I should spend my nights there until we see how things
go. Otherwise I run the risk of Jill seeing me as Janine. I don't want that.
What if she had awakened when I was carving those words over her bed? What if
she'd tried to talk to me then, someone who looked like her mother but
wasn't
? I can't risk frightening her
like that. Or worse, run the risk of hurting her when I'm Janine."