Exile to the Stars (The Alarai Chronicles) (53 page)

“Do
others of your kind have the gift of thought sharing? I find your mind to be
quite intriguing and acute.”

Oh
dear, Jeff privately thought, don’t lay it on too thick, Heideth. There’ll be
no living with him!

All
three of his companions caught the thought. Cynic twitched his hindquarters and
sent Jeff stumbling away grinning and chortling. Balko wasn’t old enough to
understand the humor, but Heideth sent a mild reproach in Jeff’s direction
while hiding her own amusement.

“I
have found none that are so blessed, wolf-sister.”

“Just
so. Now, horse-brother, this one understands you have traveled widely. Will you
share those experiences?”

Shortly,
Cynic and Heideth were exchanging travel adventures and finding common ground,
Balko good-naturedly tossing in the occasional comment. The wolves were
impressed with Cynic’s run and stand against the hyenas, while Cynic was unable
to disguise his awe at the wolverine and the wolves’ willingness to take it on.

After
a period, Jeff decided a good run in the woods was in order to cement what was
shaping up to be a great first meeting. It would also get him away from the
press of humanity in the village for a while. He hopped onto Cynic’s back and
the four of them took off, Balko charging into the lead with Cynic hot on his
trail.

When
they happened across a wide meadow, Jeff called a halt. Enough was enough.
Cynic had cut through several dense stands of trees trying to catch Balko,
nearly brushing Jeff from his back. Dismounting, he affectionately slapped
Cynic on the rump.

“Go
and play, horse-brother.”
  

Cynic
bolted toward Balko, who lay crouched and waiting. Heideth sat down to enjoy
the spectacle of horse and wolf tearing around the meadow.

“Will
you join me, wolf-brother?”

Jeff
sat down behind Heideth and scooted forward until she was between his legs.
Wrapping his arms around her chest, Jeff linked minds and heaved a sigh of contentment.

By
the time they returned to Valholm, Cynic and Balko were well on the way to
becoming inseparable. Balko was especially excited for reasons that he
innocently explained.

“Now
we may run! The horse-brother moves swiftly and is also most devious in
pursuit.”

Heideth’s
ears dropped in embarrassment at her offspring’s lack of tact. Paradoxically,
it was amusing to Jeff.

“Our
wolf-brother is young and needs to run. It is also true that my sister and two
brothers are much swifter than I. Together we will move like the wind in a
summer storm.”

The
Telling would take place outside given the mob of humanity now in the village
and growing daily. The evening meal came first, giving Jeff the chance to renew
many friendships and further acclimatize. When those inside the hall recessed
for the Telling, they found the assembly area outside packed. A number of
warriors had climbed up on lodge roofs so they could see. Halric gave the order
and torches were lighted.

Jeff
jumped on a stump and gave a Telling that set his audience on its collective
ear. Later, with the customary all-night party in full swing, he was forced to
continually repeat two segments of the tale.

The
first was his long march in the deep cold, the second their battle with the
wolverine. It turned out that none of the warriors had ever encountered such a
beast except in legend, and they just wanted to be sure it was as terrible as
it sounded like.

Anticipating
such questions, Jeff had fetched the wolverine pelt. With a group of ten or
fifteen warriors gathered around, he let it unroll. They were stunned. For a
brief period, no one moved. In the dim light it seemed the creature would
spring to life again. When it did not they pressed close and muttered heartfelt
oaths as they examined the pelt and judged the animal it had covered. That
group eventually wandered off shaking their heads and thoughtfully stroking
beards, only to be replaced by another bunch wanting confirmation.

Heideth
and Balko were also the center of much attention and endured it
philosophically. What really worried Jeff was that someone would try and pet
them, an affront of such magnitude that mayhem was likely. It was a great
relief when they escaped the melee without incident.

Images
of Zimma intruded into his dreams that night, mixing with those of Heideth and
Magda. Jeff awoke in the grip of feelings and memories that provoked a renewed
sense of confusion.

What
am I? he pondered. What’s happened to me? How can I want to take Heideth into
the mountains, while at the same time be with Zimma and Magda? Am I that
fickle? But, damn it, I didn’t seek any of them out!

While
the debate ran hot and heavy in his mind, Jeff set patched clothing aside and
pulled on a pair of leather pants he had left behind the previous fall. He
suddenly realized they were the ones he had been wearing when he and Carl met
the combined Alarai mind. Calling a halt to the debate, he took a deep breath.

“This
is all too much. I’ve got to focus on the Salchek invasion and hope to God that
everything else will sort itself out as I go.” Jeff once again reviewed how he
had attacked Heideth. “And I may be fucked up, but that kind of shit has to
stop. There’s a job to do, and it’s time to get outside my head.”

Once
dressed he absentmindedly began packing. When he woke up to what he was doing,
Jeff realized it was time to leave for Rugen and find out what he had become.
Heideth and Balko were in need of some serious running, and eagerly greeted his
plans for departure.

Having
had a small taste of freedom from the stable, Cynic was ready to leave the
instant the subject came up. In addition to his desire to hit the trail again,
he had also become quite suspicious of the looks thrown his way by the farming
contingent. It was time for spring planting and they were short of draft
animals.

Walking
into the smoky interior of the community hall that evening, Jeff’s musings were
drowned out by a roar of welcome and a flying piece of venison. He fielded it
and ripped out a hunk with a sidewise twist of his head. Toward the end of the
evening, Jeff shared his decision to leave with Halric and Gurthwin.

Normal
conversation in the hall during a meal amounted to shouting in order to be
heard over the general racket. Once the food was consumed, villagers could
concentrate on drinking beer and the decibel level rapidly increased. In the
middle of the conversation, someone started a fight. Uttering a curse under his
breath, Halric hurried off to referee.

Damn,
Jeff thought with a broad grin, I really have come home.

Halric
was forced to dodge and weave in order to stay clear of the two contestants
rolling around on the floor. One of the men grabbed a hunk of firewood and
tried to brain his opponent. That was considered dirty pool and Halric kicked
it away. Unfortunately, the piece of wood sailed across the room, thumped a
warrior and sent her backward to the floor. On the sidelines, spectators
shouted encouragement to both contestants.

The
two men broke apart along enough to stand up and have a go with their fists.
Pretty good footwork, Jeff concluded. He winced when one fellow landed a buffet
that snapped the other’s head against a beam with a sickening crack. He
collapsed like a half-empty sack of potatoes and fell onto a trestle table.

Amid
outraged cries, tankards of beer and food went flying in every direction.
Halric made sure the hapless villager was still breathing and sauntered back to
the head table. Taking a long pull from his wooden tankard, Halric threw an arm
around Jeff’s shoulders and motioned Gurthwin closer so he could hear.

“I
believe your plan to depart on the morrow will serve us all. We must be certain
that supplies have been delivered to the moot grounds. If they have not, you
must seek out the cause as you journey farther south. It would…”

Dual
shrieks of fury rose above the noise, followed by a crash. Two women jumped to
their feet, one of them leaped a table and they rushed together with fists
flying. Halric sprang to his feet again. Knowing real danger when he saw it, he
circled the pair with great caution.

“Looks
like Brunhil and Siglin are not on the best of terms.”

Gurthwin
nodded sagely, burping at the same time. “Siglin refuses to concede young Odik
to Brunhil. They are evenly matched, would you not say?”

“They
do honor to the village.”

Jeff
lay a hand on Gurthwin’s shoulder and they sat back to enjoy the second event.
Thunking their tankards together, they drank deep. The matter was settled—he
would leave in the morning. Now it was time to enjoy.

The
first days on the trail were taken at an easy pace to condition Cynic. Spring
thaw was well advanced, leaving only a few small drifts in the shadow of trees.
Flowers carpeted meadows, birdsong filled the air, excitement and renewal
overflowed. Feeling spring’s enthusiasm, Heideth and Balko ranged wide in
search of game and from a simple need to run.

Cynic
toughened up by the end of the first week, the terrain was more open, and Jeff
let his mount stretch out in breathtaking sprints. When Heideth and Balko
happened to be running nearby, they had to get into the fun as well. The
meadows were small and only served to whet their appetites. One day they
abruptly emerged into a long valley free of trees.

Broadcasting
a sudden
, “Let us run!”
Cynic was off like a shot, the wolves digging
after him for all they were worth. This time Cynic was not exhausted after a
day’s chase and he accelerated like a quarter horse.

Caught
by surprise, Jeff had to grab leather while getting sorted out. Shifting his
weight to the stirrups, he urged Cynic on with a fierce yell. They tore down
that valley, horse and wolves running for the sheer joy of it. Balanced in the
stirrups, the wind forcing tears into his eyes, Jeff felt on top of the world.
Life was good.

A
stream-washed gully rushed to meet them and Jeff was forced to call a halt to
the race. By that time all three were satisfied that they were indeed a match
for one another. The race had been in doubt to the end.

The
moot ground at the fork of the rivers Vecka and Farga was not far off when
Heideth and Balko raced back from a jaunt far ahead. Heideth reported that a
pack of wolves awaited them. She was excited, but Jeff also sensed she was
deeply troubled about something. Next day, Balthazar greeted them.

Formal
and polite as always, his humorous mindset still evident, the big male
nevertheless seemed distracted as they discussed the winter’s events. Looking
around for the source of his preoccupation, Jeff was not long in finding it.

Some
ways off, Heideth and another female were circling each other. The ruff on
their backs standing up, heads held low and fangs bared, they growled mutual
dislike. Jeff felt his world explode.

“Don’t
do it Heideth! Don’t leave me!”

Balthazar
was dazed and unaware of the chaos in Jeff’s mind. “Never have I encountered a
female such as this. From which pack does she come?”

Wanting
to scream, “From my pack. She’s mine!” Jeff somehow choked it back. Until that
moment, until he experienced the head-on collision of two radically different
societies, Jeff had not understood the inherent pathos of his love for Heideth.
He was not a wolf, could never be a wolf. She could never be a human. It nearly
tore him apart. All he and Heideth had shared, gone in an instant.

In
spite of what he was feeling, the uncompromising nature of his insight forced
reality to the forefront and Jeff described the circumstances of their meeting.

“I
know of this pack. Great was its leader, and wise. But now, that which has
started must be completed. It is our way.”

Surrounded
by Balthazar’s pack, the two females circled in tighter snarling threats. The
final challenge was issued and the females came together in a snarling collage
of twisting bodies and flashing fangs before springing apart to resume
circling. They came together two more times before Heideth found her advantage.
Holding her death grip for a moment, Heideth stepped back. Rolling onto her
belly, the female crouched in front of Heideth with throat exposed.

The
event was closed and witnessed. Balthazar’s pack had a new alpha female and
Jeff felt like a part of his soul had been ripped away. Conflict on the way to
being resolved balled up into a violent knot and hit him like a thrown brick.
Clenching his hands into fists, Jeff fought a rush of fury. It tried to batter
a way out, but he clamped his jaw and kept it shut. Then it was gone, and he
nearly fell to his knees from the shock.

Holding
his hands out, Jeff whispered, “Why? Why does she have to go? Have I asked for
too much? Damn it, I need her!” Jeff wiped tears from his eyes with a
shirtsleeve. “Fuck this shit. Gurthwin and his lousy gods. What a bunch of
crap.”

Taking
deep breaths, Jeff looked for Heideth and found her touching noses with
Balthazar. The instincts of countless generations of wolves had ruled the day
and determined with absolute authority what must happen. Bonded to Jeff in a
way that was beyond breaking, Heideth was nevertheless a young, dominant wolf.
From every aspect she was also a perfect match for Balthazar, and had just won
the right to pair with him even as he had won the right to lead.