Every Heart (17 page)

I will, love you guys.

“My parents are running late.”

“I’m sure it’s been hard for them too.”

“Yeah,” I respond staring up into the grey clouds.

“Are you ready to head in?” Arion asks me.

I nod my head and get out of the car. I can do this. I have to…for Kinsey. Arion wraps her hand around mine and I keep my eyes to the ground letting her lead me inside the courthouse, where our final destination will be to spend who knows how long with a monster.

“Bain,” she whispers and I look up. The outside of the building is littered with news reporters and camera crews. I know right away what she is referring to. Then I hear my name when one of them spots us as we approach.
“Mr. Adams, Mr. Adams”
is all that echoes in my head.

Both Arion and I stay quiet like we have vowed to. Unless it’s a reporter at one of my games, we don’t talk. Quickly we walk up the front steps to the courthouse and I do my best to keep my ears closed and just go. Then a question that makes absolutely no sense for today and what we are about to do is asked. “How do you feel about the rumored trade to Miami?”

Annoyance brews inside of me. How could someone be so callous to ask something like that with what I am obviously dealing with today? It completely catches me unprepared and apparently Arion too. She can’t help herself and handles it like the little spitfire that she is.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” she snaps, looking the guy straight in the eye. He is taller than she is, but that doesn’t make her back down. “That’s your question? On a day when the murderer of his sister is getting sentenced, you wanna know how he feels about being traded? You are fucking unbelievable.”

Her rant has quieted the swarm of reporters and stunned me a bit. She glares at him and then tugs my hand and I follow, staring at her a bit in awe. I’m so damn proud that she is mine. When we enter the courthouse, a rush of warmth hits us. It’s a cold, cloudy day today, and I know rain is looming nearby. It suits my mood perfectly.

“Are you okay?” she asks me.

“Yeah, thank you for standing up to those reporters.”

“Baby, it’s my job. You deserve nothing but peace and respect today. That asshole wasn’t giving it to you, so I needed him to know that it wasn’t okay. I also know your parents are right behind us and I pray to God they leave them alone and don’t ask any questions.”

“After what you just said, I doubt it.”

We arrive at the courtroom and sit on one of the brown, wooden benches, holding each other’s hands while we wait for my parents, both of us being quiet. Being with Arion calms me, in a way that no other person in the world can. I know we are about to walk into a shit-storm, but if I have her, I know I’ll survive.

“Bain.” I recognize my mom’s voice right away. Looking up, she is running to me. I stand, engulfing her in a tight hug, and she cries into the fabric of my teal shirt. It was Kinsey’s favorite color and I wore it in honor of her today. When my dad is close enough, he hugs Arion, and then the both of them hug my mom and I. As we stand there together, I sense Kinsey’s arms shrouded around all of us.

She is with us today – I know it.

Our hug is cut short by the DA. She comes out of the courtroom clearing her throat and we all disperse, but still keep our arms around each other.

“How are you all doing today?” she asks.

“As good as to be expected,” my dad tells her.

“Good. Listen, I wanted to let you know that they bumped our time up thirty minutes. So it’s go time. Are you guys ready?”

My dad and I nod our heads. To the left of me is Arion and to the right is my mom. She is fragile in her current state, but we have to go through this for Kinsey and she knows that.

Cindie, the DA, heads inside and we follow. The courtroom is old and needs a remodel. The white walls and heavy, dark wood are not comforting. On one side there are only a few people, I’m assuming the family of this asshole.

The other side is packed, a clear congregation of support. Everyone is in teal, showing they are here for Kinsey.

Cindie directs us to sit in the front row. All is quiet while we wait, then a door on the side of the room opens. Two officers walk out with this motherfucker shackled like the fucking pig that he is.

My body tenses as I see Anthony. How could he do this to her? I squeeze my mother and Arion’s hands so hard, I’m surprised they sit quietly. In this moment, I can almost envision myself climbing over this wall and killing him with my bare hands. I could snap his little motherfucking neck before anyone was on me.

My body begins to tremble as my thoughts carry me away to a deep, dark place. Then Arion touches my face and it pulls me out of my hallucination. I was mere inches away from snapping. I know in the back of my mind, this could be my only chance to hurt him like I so badly want to – need to. I lean into Arion’s touch, letting the tears rolls down my cheeks and just close my eyes. I have to pull myself together. He won’t be responsible for my life ending too.

“All rise for the honorable Judge Jenkins,” the court clerk announces. We stand and I’m weak in my knees. I can’t bear to stay in this moment, and trying not to pass out, I close my eyes praying to Kinsey for help.

When we all sit back down, I lean into Arion, knowing it will help to calm me, and I do everything possible to keep my mind busy.
Whatever you do, don’t look at him again
I tell myself, knowing it would make it worse. Then clear as day, I hear Kinsey say to me.
I love you, Bain, I’m all right.
I can picture her saying the words with her long, brown hair messy as always and her calm demeanor. She never cared about her looks and was always confident and free-spirited. Just like the time we went white water rafting for our eighteenth birthday. I was scared, but not her…

“Come on, Bain, you said you wanted to do this,” Kinsey whines as the raft is being loaded with all of the crazy people that signed up to do this, and for some God unknown reason, here I stand second-guessing everything.

“I do. I mean, I did.”

“Jesus, you’re such a baby. Today is our birthday so get your ass in the raft.”

“I don’t want us to die.”

“Nothing is going to happen. Come on, you big baby,” she says, reaching her hand out for mine. I look down at it and then take hers and walk to the edge of the water. The guide helps her in the raft and then I follow. She sits there with the biggest smile on her face. It seems to spans from ear to ear. I’d walk across the earth to give her that, so I know I’ve made the right choice.

“This is gonna be so fun,” she says…

“Adams,” is the only word that I hear. It takes me a few moments to come back to reality. When I do, my dad is at the stand. He looks scared, even nervous. Which is not something I’ve ever seen from him. He is usually so confident and poised, ready to take on the world. But today, he is broken. As he begins to speak, my mom begins to sob sitting next to me. I wrap my arm around her and keep her close.

She turns away from the sight of my father and into my shirt. Her cries drown him out for the most part, but not everything. “It kills me every day to think that the gift she could have given the world was taken away. Her life was taken away like it was an ant walking on the sidewalk that you step on. So fast and with no warning. It was taken away at the hands of a monster who sits amongst us in this room.”

He pauses briefly composing himself, and my mom cries harder. Arion keeps a tight hold on my hand, now resting her face against the outside of my shoulder.

“My family and I were asked here today to speak on behalf of Kinsey, because she can no longer do that for herself. Now, I’m not her so I don’t know what she would say, but if it was up to me, I would kill Anthony Eldridge. So Judge Jenkins I am begging you with everything I am and everything that Kinsey was. Please punish this degenerate to the most severe standards.”

He turns and walks to us with fire in his eyes, the previous pain that was on his face no longer there. He opens his arms to my mom as my name is called and she falls against his chest. Arion squeezes my hand as I get up. “I love you,” she whispers.

I smile and head to the stand, my eyes locked on Anthony’s profile. But, he looks forward, never glancing in my direction. The judge asks me to make my statement and as much as I want to look at Anthony the entire time, to somehow make him feel uncomfortable or to feel the pain that she did, I don’t. It will only take my focus off of what I have to say and today is about convincing the judge into giving him the harshest sentence possible.

“Your Honor, thank you for letting me talk today.” She smiles at me and I take a deep breath, praying that I can hold it all together.

“My sister, Kinsey, was my best friend. She was an exceptional person. Very sweet, loving, caring, and just amazing all around. She was such a free spirit, I’ve never met anyone quite like her. She loved life. Every single second of every day was a new adventure for her. And now that Kinsey is gone from this earth that she loved, the world is not the same, especially through my family’s eyes. The way we breathe isn’t the same, the way we think isn’t the same, even the people that we are today aren’t the same as we were when Kinsey was alive. Everything is different, not only for us, but so many others. I mean, look at all of the people in this room today wearing her favorite color. Each and every one of their lives has been affected by her loss and the only person to blame is Anthony Eldridge.” I stop and look at him; he still stares off into the courtroom. It’s like he’s drugged or something. “Anthony went as far as to stage her death as her suicide. The way he made it look changed what people thought of Kinsey and that’s not fair for so many reasons. He portrayed her to be someone different than who she was. All along, I knew it wasn’t true. I knew there was no way that she took her own life. It had to be at the hands of another person, a disgusting individual. Anthony Eldridge is that miscreant. He is a sick, twisted person that has changed all of our lives for the worst. He murdered her, plain and simple. How, we will never know, as he hasn’t told us and she was cremated, destroying any evidence. Not knowing what really happened to her is absolutely heartbreaking. But regardless, Anthony has pled guilty, so I’m begging you, your Honor, with every ounce of the man that I am, and as Kinsey’s twin brother, to please sentence him to the fullest degree of the law.”

“Thank you, Mr. Adams,” the judge says.

I nod my head and sit down, my body trembling from my heart beating so hard against my chest. I made it through one of the hardest parts of this. As hard as it was to do it – I did it. My poor mom is still a sobbing mess. I know there is no way she can get up and speak to the judge. However, I’m okay with that, it will be easier on her, and I’m confident that the words my dad and I spoke will make a difference.

It’s been excruciating waiting for the DA to call us back once the judge has a decision. Plus, Kinsey’s friends have been coming up to us nonstop. Today almost seems as hard as her funeral with all of the people that we are forced to talk to. But finally things have settled down and I’m so glad it’s almost over. Arion and my dad went to grab us coffees while I sit with my mom.

The hallway is quiet; her hand is wrapped comfortably around mine.

“Bain, I love you,” she says.

“I love you too, Mom.”

“I’m proud of you for today. I’m sorry I couldn’t get up there and speak for her.”

“Thanks, Mom. And no need to apologize. I followed my gut like you did and there’s nothing wrong with that.”

She smiles at me and I look to my left, catching sight of Arion and my dad as they approach. They are in deep conversation, both looking content. Before they reach us, they stop and hug. My mom squeezes my hand and then all at once our peaceful world is interrupted.

“The judge is ready,” the DA says, holding the door open for us. This is the moment we’ve all been waiting for. My dad sets our coffees down on the bench where my mom and I were. We all make our way back into the courtroom.

We take our seats and then have to watch Anthony get brought back in. My body tenses again, seeing him. I wish he were being sentenced to life in prison or to death. Not twelve to twenty years. Regardless of what he gets, it will be hard to feel satisfied.

The judge isn’t but a minute behind him. Order is called in the court, and then as we take our seats again, the judge calls Anthony up to the bench and asks him if he has anything to say. His response, “No ma’am.”

The judge shakes her head and then begins to read the sentence. “Mr. Eldridge, the charges against you are severe, you do realize that?”

He nods his head.

“So you’re sure there is nothing that you would like to say?”

“Correct,” he responds.

“On the charge of tampering with evidence, I hereby sentence you to seven years. On the charge of kidnapping in the first degree, I hereby sentence you to the maximum penalty allowed under your plea deal with the State of New Jersey, which is twenty years, and for first degree murder, you are sentenced to another twenty years.”