Every Breath (30 page)

After the crowd dies down a little, he grabs my hand and pulls me against him. “You saved me, too, you know,” he says softly enough that only I can hear. “That night that we were on the video chat, and I told you that I needed to hear your voice. Remember?”

“Yeah.”

“I lost eight guys that night, and I was ready to take my own life. If I hadn’t been able to talk to you, I think I would have. I didn’t think I deserved to be standing there after I couldn’t save them.”

The reality of what could’ve happened sinks in. If I hadn’t gotten up that night, he may have sunk deeper into his own personal hell, never to return. I know all too well what that feeling is like. “I knew you were in a bad frame of mind that night, but I didn’t realize just how bad.”

“But it was then that I imagined a future with you for the first time. I knew at that point that I wouldn’t give up on life until I could see if it would come true.”

“Well,” I begin, “did it come true? Whatever it was you imagined?”

“Much more than I ever imagined.” He lowers his mouth onto mine as if we’re the only ones in the room, and the crowd is quick to let us know they are enjoying the show. We don’t care.

“I love you so much, Makenna. Thank you for doing this for me.”

“You’re welcome. You see how that works? Try it.”

Sawyer looks over his shoulder at the teary eyed crowd. “You’re welcome,” he calls out, causing everyone to laugh.

“Good job.” I wink. “And I love you, too. More than I could ever tell you.”

His mouth pulls up into that silly grin, and that one dimple appears. Those amber honey eyes glisten, and I swear he knows what that does to me.

You know, I thought I had my life all figured out. After that one fateful day, I didn’t think I was meant to have the fairy tale ending. Hell, I didn’t even think I was meant to love again. But I figured something out along the way. Sometimes, it takes someone just as broken as you are to heal you. Sometimes, it takes someone else to show you that you won’t heal until every breath you take is for you, not anyone else. The scars may not ever fade, but the heart can be put back together piece by piece, if you have the right person for the job.

Sawyer did that for me. I knew he didn’t steal my happy ever after . . . he gave it to me.

“What time did you tell me that everyone would be here tomorrow night? I’d like to go get William sometime tomorrow afternoon.” I come up behind Makenna and wrap my arms around her waist. She’s expertly putting mascara on every single lash and making the cutest faces in the process.

“Ooh, I’d love it if you did that. My parents should be here by six, and Callie and Wes should be here just before then. She’s going to help me get dinner finished. Is Dalton going to be able to make it?”

“He said he’d be here as long as he didn’t get called into the hospital.”

Makenna wanted to plan a little dinner party to thank everyone for helping us out over the last couple of months while we both healed from our injuries and got back into a normal routine. What she doesn’t know is that it’s not happening tomorrow at all. Surely, she won’t freak if I bump it up a day, right?

I look over her creamy skin as she adds the finishing touches to her unnecessary makeup. Her bruises have finally faded completely, and her jaw isn’t swollen anymore. I actually got my cast off a couple of weeks ago. We’re both thankful that it all wasn’t much worse. The bastard nearly killed her.

But I guess Drew is going to be getting some much needed help. I just hope it works. We went to his sentencing hearing a few weeks ago, and we know we’ll be able rest easy, at least for a while. He openly admitted that he was guilty for all charges against him, including breaking and entering, battery, and attempted second degree murder.

As much as I hate to admit it, I kinda feel sorry for the guy. By that time, all the drugs he was on had gotten out of his system, and he had a pretty clear head. Our eyes met when Makenna and I walked into the courtroom, and I was struck with what I saw on his face. Remorse. He wasn’t even fazed by the twelve year sentence; I think he wanted it. I think he knew that he’d sunk as low as he could get, and he finally realized he needed some help. It may be a long road for him to get there, but after he spends a lot of time in therapy and they get his medication regulated, I think he may actually be able to function as a normal human being again. Maybe. As long as he’s a million miles from Makenna. If he gets any closer than that, he won’t have to worry about functioning anything.

“Well, I have to head out to Giano’s and get the water pump put on his car.” Which I did yesterday. “Are you going anywhere?”

She fluffs her hair, and the delicate scent wafts into my nostrils. “Nope. Cal called this morning and said she’d be swinging by around three o’clock. Wes is leaving town, and you know how she is about staying home alone.”

This is all so much easier because of the fact that she’s so adorably gullible. “Oh, that will be good. I may be a little while, but I’ll definitely be back in time for dinner. You want Giano’s tonight? I won’t let him pay me for working on his car, so he’s insisting on paying me in food.”

“Yum. That sounds perfect.” She shrugs at herself in the mirror, finally giving up on the wayward curl that won’t go under, no matter how many times she tries to tame it. Spinning to face me, she rests her arms at the top of my shoulders. “Have fun today. Sometimes, I think you say something is broken on a car just so you can take it apart and fix it. You get giddy like a little kid.”

I’m excited alright. Just not the reason she thinks I am. “Doctors won’t let me in the O.R., so I’m just improvising. Car surgery is just as fun.”

She snickers and pecks a tiny kiss at the corner of my mouth. “Boys . . .”

Once I’m convinced she has no idea what’s going on, I kiss her goodbye and promise to call when I’m on my way back. The only promise I hope I’ll ever have to break. I drive over to Callie and Wes’s house, and Callie is very impatiently pacing her front porch.

“I was wondering if you were backing out on the whole thing. You’re ten minutes late, you know.” She drums her fingertips on the porch railing as I approach her.

“You couldn’t make me back out. No chance in hell.”

Callie grins wide before she snakes her arms around my waist and rests her head on my shoulder. “I know.”

“Hands off my girl, soldier.” A deep voice bellows from within the house.

I turn toward the front door as Wes steps outside. “I got rid of the uniform, and they
still
flock to me. What can I say?”

Wes claps me on the back. “Well, that one is nothing but trouble, so good luck.” I shake my head and chuckle when Callie jabs at his ribs and joins him by the door. “So, you’re really going to go through with this, huh?”

For some reason, it hits me at this moment. I haven’t been nervous for even a second until this point, but now I’m suddenly struck with the fact that this is really happening today. In less than an hour. Shit. “I am.” I gulp hard.

“Freaking out a little bit?” Callie cackles.

“Not until just now. I’m a little nervous, but I think, more than anything, I’m just anxious. I’m ready to go
now
. Giano has the entire restaurant shut down for us tonight, so after we’re finished at Makenna’s, if all goes well, we’ll head over there for some good food. And
a lot
of wine. I’m going to need it after today, and I don’t even like it.”

We all turn at the sound of gravel crunching under tires. Dalton’s car rolls carefully down the bumpy driveway, and I see his face split into an enormous smile when he sees me. William sits in the passenger side, scowling as usual, and I can’t help but laugh at him. Looking around me at the people who have come together to help me, I realize how blessed I am. These people, along with Makenna, are my family. I always said that I didn’t have one, but I know I do now. It’s strange and dysfunctional, but I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Makenna and I have both been talking to a therapist, even sometimes together, and he’s really helped both of us. We have a long road ahead, but I think the most important thing we’ve taken from it is forgiveness. It’s not always easy, but I’m learning to forgive my parents. And myself.

I remember my grandfather sitting me down one day when my older cousins had been trying to pick a fight with me. They were bullies and thrived on making me miserable. He said that nothing annoys your enemies more than forgiving them. Even though he wasn’t a part of my life very long, I always had the utmost respect for him, so I took his advice and tried it the next time they started pestering me. I’ll never forget that day. They started tossing rocks at me while I was playing outside, and I walked up to them and said, “I forgive you.” They looked at each other, all sorts of confused, and they left me alone the rest of the day. It may have only lasted that one day, but it did work.

My parents may have broken me for a while, but I hope they can see me now. I hope they’re annoyed as hell.

I finger my grandfather’s medal hanging around my neck. Makenna didn’t let it rest long, so I ended up telling her all about my family and how I grew up, including my grandfather. Once he died, there wasn’t anyone there to make sure my parents cared for me. That’s when everything went downhill. I didn’t want her pity, just like I never wanted anyone else’s. But I didn’t feel that way when I told her. I guess that’s what real love is all about. It’s unconditional, and it changes every single thing you ever thought you knew about yourself and life, in general.

I greet Dalton and William, and everyone circles around me. I’m fighting the mix of emotions that have suddenly made their appearance, and I can’t seem to find the right words to express my gratitude to them. “Thank you all for being here for me today. If you’d told me a year ago that I would be standing here, surrounded by family, with these kinds of plans, I wouldn’t have ever believed a word of it. At the risk of sounding like a total pansy, I want to let you know that you’ve all changed my life in some way or another, and I can’t wait to see what the future has in store for me now. My life is finally beginning.” One by one, they all embrace me, until we’re all teary-eyed.

Even William. “I’m proud of you, son,” he says with a quivering chin. “Let’s go get your girl.”

Callie should have already been here, but it’s not like she’s ever on time for anything, so I’m not surprised. She probably got caught up giving her husband a nice long farewell. She’s definitely thorough when it comes to proper, unclothed goodbyes. Well, for her husband, anyway. Thank goodness.

I get tired of reading, so I place my book back in the shelf, stopping along the way to admire the pictures displayed on my mantle. I’ve taken all the pictures of Shane down, except my favorite one of the two of us at the beach. I’ll always keep one of them out, but I finally decided it was time to start replacing some of those memories with new ones. Shane will always have a place here, just like he’ll always be a part of my heart. But Sawyer has somehow invaded every tiny crevice that was empty, and I feel like it’s about to burst. I finally feel whole again.

I hear her car pulling in the drive, so I make a mental list of everything I’ve thought of to tease her about. If it wasn’t for sex, I’m not sure what we’d aggravate each other about anymore. I pull the door open just as she’s getting out of her car, and . . . yep, she’s grinning from ear to ear. She’s definitely been ravaging her husband again.

“Hey, Mak.” She kisses me on the cheek. “I love you so much.”

Well, umm . . . that’s a little unusual for her, but whatever. “Love you, too. Come on in.”

She follows me inside, and I begin to talk, but she grabs my elbow and drags me over to the chair near the fireplace. “You have to sit right here, and don’t get up, no matter what. Okay? Promise?”

What the hell is up with her today? “Uh, okay. I promise.”

She gleams again and pulls some flowers from behind her back. A perfect bouquet of lilacs is tied with a matching silky bow and a note attached. “Read it, Mak.”

“Why did you get me flowers?” I ask as I unfold the slip of paper tied to the ribbon.

“I didn’t. Just read.”

I look inside the note, and I immediately recognize Sawyer’s handwriting. Also there’s a new charm for my bracelet. It’s a ruby—my birthstone. The note, though, is a little confusing.

Completely bewildered, I look up at her, ready to start the rapid fire of questions building in my head, when I see Wes come through the door. “I thought you were leaving town?”

He just winks and holds the door open for someone. It’s William and Dalton. They help William inside and over to me, and the three new amigos are all grinning like idiots. Wes pulls a small bouquet out from behind his back and places it in my hands. “Love you, kiddo,” he whispers before they help William to the couch.

Hoping for answers, I unfold the new note and find another charm and message inside. The charm is two pink baby shoes. Huh?