Evan Arden 02 Otherwise Occupied (23 page)

Focusing was becoming more difficult, and I knew it was making it harder for me to figure out what the hell was going on with Bridgett and Greco, assuming there was a connection at all.  That knowledge didn’t offer me any answers, though, nor did it help me sleep.

Sleep.

“You talk in your sleep.”

“What the fuck?  I do not.”

“Not often, but you have – a couple of times.”

“What if I said something when I was sleeping?”

No.

No way.

“If I talked about Iraq, I could have said anything.”

Odin snuffed at my shoe, and I realized I had been talking out loud.  I reached down to rub the top of his head while my brain started forming a less-than-pleasant picture.

My eyes moved across the rooms in the apartment until they came to rest on my laptop, which I hadn’t even had time to use for surfing since all of this started.  I walked over to it carefully, like I was afraid of what might happen when I opened it.  As the screen refreshed, the user ID and password screen popped up with the user ID already saved.

I entered my password incorrectly.

Incorrect password!  You have reached the maximum attempts, and your account is now locked. Please contact your system administrator for assistance.

There were supposed to be
three
attempts.  Always three attempts with three warnings before the system would lock you out on the fourth try.  Someone had already tried, received the message, and then stopped.  Unless Odin had some opposable thumbs hidden in his shaggy fur, there was only one other person who had been in my apartment.

“Motherfucker.”

A few phone calls and a bus ride later, I was in front of Moretti.

“You found something.”

“Not exactly,” I admitted, “but there is a…a possibility.”

He looked at me and waited for me to go on.  I didn’t miss Mario slightly shift in his footing, placing his weight at an easier distribution if he needed to draw his gun.  I didn’t think it was going to be necessary, but it depended on how Moretti took my news.

Full disclosure.

“It was more than fucking with that whore,” I told him bluntly.  His expression didn’t show any surprise, but I also knew it wasn’t what he was thinking.  “She also…well, sir, she slept with me.”

Mario snickered, and I glared at him.  He raised both eyebrows back at me.

“Isn’t that the same thing?” he asked.

“I mean, she’d stay at my apartment overnight,” I clarified.  “She slept in my bed with me, lots of times.”

Moretti leaned back and folded his arms over his chest.

“What did you tell her?” Rinaldo asked coldly.

“Nothing,” I swore. 
“Nothing
intentionally
.”

Mario shifted again.

“I just remembered something she said a while ago – something she said about me.”

“And what might that be?”

I took a deep breath.

“She said I talked in my sleep.”

Mario laughed out loud, and I considered just shooting the bastard, but that wasn’t going to help me out here.

“I haven’t confirmed anything,” I told him, “but I admit there’s a…a possibility she heard something.  I just need to know who told you she was squealing because that could help me figure all of this out.”

Rinaldo nodded his head.

“You aren’t going to like it,” he said.

It was all I needed to hear.

“Terry Kramer.”

Rinaldo’s lips tuned up in a sardonic smile.

“You believed him,” I said, trying not to sound accusatory.

“He had good information,” Rinaldo corrected.  “He knew things he shouldn’t know about.”

“I’ve caught him following me.”

“Then you do have some detective work ahead of you,” my boss agreed.  “I want whoever passed sensitive information from my organization to Greco’s dead.  As long as that is your end goal, whose head you bring me isn’t of consequence.”

“I’ll take care of it,” I promised.

Moretti leaned forward on the desk and gazed at me.  I tried to be patient, but all I really wanted to do was figure out what the hell was going on and kill whoever was trying to turn the small amount of comfort I had found upside down.

“You know what you need, Evan?” Rinaldo questioned.

I shook my head.

“A good woman, that’s what. 
A woman who is actually capable of getting through that thick head of yours.”

I half smiled and blew a sharp breath out of my nose.  I blinked away thoughts of the flowing dark hair of the woman in the cabin.

“You got any suggestions, boss?”

He looked me in the face, and his expression changed as his smile faltered.  His face became a mask of worry as he motioned for me to sit in
the chair opposite his desk and told Mario to wait outside.

I sat down somewhat hesitantly.  As soon as I sat, the heavy feeling of near unconsciousness shoved inside my brain and made me feel like I was going to fall over.  I was pretty sure if I closed my eyes even for a second, I’d fall over onto the floor.  The problem was I’d be
awake ten minutes later – sweating and maybe even screaming.

I had to get some sleep.

“I’ll tell you something, Evan,” Rinaldo said as he leaned back in his chair and folded his hands together.  “There is something I was considering.”

“Considering, sir?”

“My daughter, Luisa.”

My muscles wanted to stiffen significantly, but I forced myself to remain still and calm.  Something wasn’t right – he wasn’t smiling or anything like he might have been if he was going to suggest I date her, but he didn’t seem angry at all like he might have thought I touched her without permission.  I couldn’t read him – not at all.

I definitely needed some sleep.  I was totally off my game.

“Your daughter, sir?”

“You know her.”

It was a statement, not a question, but I nodded anyway.

“You are only three years apart in age,” he remarked.  “She is a beautiful girl.”

Again, I nodded as I watched him closely, but he wasn’t giving me any signs to indicate where this conversation was going.  My hands went clammy, and I could feel my heart pounding in my wrists.

“I considered you for her,” he finally said.  He leaned forward and rested his elbows on the desk as his hands folded beneath his chin.  “I considered you for a long time.”

Considered – past tense.  Considered only – not offering.  I had done something wrong, but I had no idea what he was getting at.  Was it because of my fuckup last year?  I thought all had been forgiven at this point.  Did finding Ashton’s body somehow cause concerns?  Every indication in the news said the authorities were stumped.

Because I killed the fucking pimp?

It wasn’t that I wanted Luisa.  She was beautiful and obviously from a very powerful family, and that came with a whole lot of perks I found interesting, no doubt.  However, I didn’t want her any more than I wanted any other woman in my life.

Well, except maybe one.

I couldn’t think of anything to say, so I just kept the eye contact and waited.  I had to be pretty damn patient, too.

“In many ways, you are the perfect choice,” he said quietly when he finally decided I had sweated it out enough.  “I have no son – so this is all hers.”

Rinaldo waved his hand around the room, but of course he didn’t mean the office or the building – he meant all of the businesses.  I
raised a brow but wasn’t stupid enough to ask about Nick at that point.  Biology aside, he wasn’t going to let the illegitimate child that far inside.  He was lenient enough with the guy as it was.

“Luisa is a strong woman like her mother, and she could take care of it, but having a man such as
yourself looking after her would be a substantial bonus.  It would keep those who might believe her to be an easier target at bay.  There are also some who might feel a woman is not to be taken seriously, and I would trust you to take care of anyone who insulted her.”

“Thank you, sir.”

He went quiet for a moment.

“I trust you with my life, Evan,” he said.  “My life – the life of my daughter, the running of any of my businesses – I would trust you to be loyal to this family as much as I would anyone who shared our blood.  Yes, in many ways you would be the perfect choice for her.”

His lips tightened, and his eyes narrowed.  I felt my muscles tense a bit because I knew the answer was coming.  His focus on me was acute and palpable.

“You would never love her, though,” he said, “would you?”

I blinked a couple of times.

“What, sir?”

“You would never love my daughter,” he said again.  “Even this hooker you killed for, you don’t have any real feelings for her at all, do you?”

“I…I don’t understand.”

“If you had gone back to your apartment, found a letter from her saying she was moving out of the city, and you never saw her again, would you care?”

I didn’t even know how to answer.

“I didn’t think so,” Rinaldo said.  “That’s why you will never touch my daughter.  I hope you’ll always be there to protect her if I am unable to do so myself.”

“Of course,” I responded immediately.

“That you understand,” he commented.  “Killing to keep her safe – you know just what to do with those instructions.  But matters of the heart?  You’re lacking there, son.”

My chest tightened up, and I didn’t know what I was supposed to say.  Cold sweat had formed on the back of my neck and trickled between my shoulder blades.  The rest of my body tensed completely before I could stop it.  I tasted sand in the back of my throat, but when I tried to swallow past the sensation, I couldn’t.

“You don’t even really understand what I mean, do you?” he asked.  “You don’t let anyone in that head long enough for you to understand them or to let them understand you.”

“I have a shrink,” I heard myself say.

“I know,” Rinaldo replied.  “I know everything, Evan.  You don’t think I’d let your past not be of my utmost concern?”

“I…I never thought about it.”  I hadn’t, either, and now the sleepy feeling waned as it was replaced by feelings of stupidity.

“You endured more than most men ever will,” Rinaldo said quietly.  “You’ve had it worse than anyone you ever killed.  They died quick and easy.  You’ve been dying since they brought you home from that war.”

I forced myself to swallow hard and found I was having a hard time looking at his face.

“You are going to crack someday, aren’t you, Lieutenant?”

My eyes flashed to Rinaldo’s, and I couldn’t stop my hands from clenching into fists.  The anger boiling inside of me had nowhere to go, and I was dangerously close to letting it loose on the one man who
m I didn’t want to hurt.

Had Mario been in the room, he would have noticed.  He would have seen how close I was, and he probably would have shot me.  Rinaldo only nodded slowly and sat back again.

“If there comes a time I need to put you down, I will,” he said.  “If there comes a time you
want
me to put you down, you let me know.  You can go now, son.”

I stood up, trying not to let my knees wobble as I did.  I turned and walked as quickly as I could out of the room, trying not to comprehend what Rinaldo Moretti had just said to me.

*****

I couldn’t think.

I could barely breathe.

Even though spring was in full force, the temperature had fallen and the wind was bone-chilling.  I dropped down on the bench inside the dog run and unhooked Odin’s leash from his collar
, so he could run around and sniff at the other neighborhood dogs.  I needed to think – my head was just too jumbled up with all the recent information inside of it, but every time I tried to figure out what was happening to me, my head ached and reminded me how long it had been since I’d slept.

Well, kind of reminded me.  I’d really lost track of how long it had been.  I couldn’t focus anymore – that’s what I knew.  I jumped at fucking everything, too, just like I had in the hospital after I had been brought back from the Middle East.  It had been years since I felt that kind of paranoia, and I wasn’t even sure how to begin to cope with it.

Where did things start going wrong?

Without warning, Lia’s face came back into my head, and for once I just let it happen.

I closed my eyes and leaned back against the bench as the whole time she was with me raced through my brain.  I remembered seeing her out there on the dry, dusty road walking aimlessly towards my cabin, and I remembered thinking I might just have to shoot her.

I didn’t do it – I made her dinner instead.  Once night fell, she crawled into the little twin bed and I ended up inside of her minutes later –
really
inside of her.  I didn’t push for a blowjob or anal – we just had straight sex.  No condom, no barriers, no pretenses.  I came in her over and over again, and I couldn’t get enough.