Eternal (11 page)

The dreadful image dissolved and the air swirled. I saw Agnes again. Now she was in front of me, now behind; now she was running past, her rich auburn hair streaming down her back. The next moment someone was running over the grass with her: a dazzlingly handsome young man with black hair and blue eyes. He radiated confidence and energy, as though nothing could ever hold him back or diminish his bright youth.

“Sebastian! Sebastian!” Evie cried in agony. But neither Agnes nor Sebastian could see or hear us. The images flashed from one scene to another. The two friends were reading under a broken archway. They were carrying a picnic basket to the lake. Now they were laughing, now quarreling—arguing violently. Then, most dreadful of al , Sebastian was stumbling toward the chapel’s grassy altar, carrying Agnes’s lifeless body in his arms. He was weeping and cursing himself. I stood and watched him in speechless horror, but Evie tried to wrench her hand out of mine and run to him.

“NO!” shouted Miss Scratton. “Do not break the Circle!”

Sebastian stumbled nearer and nearer to us, until I could have touched him, and then as abruptly as it had begun the wind dropped and the wailing voices were stil ed, and the shadows of Sebastian Fairfax and Lady Agnes Templeton were no longer visible to our sight.

“It is over.”

Miss Scratton stepped out of the Circle. The glimmering chapel wal s melted away, and the ruins took on their familiar shape. We were back in reality, whatever that meant now.

Evie was crying, sobbing in desperation. I had never seen her break down like that before. I should have rushed over to comfort her, but for an instant something held me back. I am ashamed to confess it, but I actual y envied her for having had something that was so precious that losing it was such agony. As she covered her face with her hands, I picked up the Book from where it lay on the cold earth. The words that Agnes had written in her journal came back to me: If it were up to me, I would fling this book into the lake and let it sink into those deep waters, never to be seen again. I didn’t want to accept it, but deep down I understood now why Evie wanted nothing more to do with the Mystic Way. Loving Sebastian had left her with memories almost too painful to bear.

MARIA MELVILLE’S WYLDCLIFFE JOURNAL

APRIL 9, 1919

The memories of what I have to describe next are almost too painful to bear. I would never have imagined the places that my innocent rebellion would lead me. But that was later. At first I was happy, because of Zak.

At school I pretended to be the perfect student, though I couldn’t help smiling to myself when I thought about my hours of freedom at the Gypsy camp. Sometimes I saw Miss S. looking at me, and I wondered if she guessed.

I had imagined that my secret life with Zak and his family would carry on just the same, carefree and happy, but one morning I rode up to the camp and found everything in confusion. Women were crying and wailing and the men looked angry and the children looked scared. I jumped off Cracker and ran up to Zak. “What’s wrong? What has happened?”

Zak looked different, as though he had become a man in a single night. “My father is missing. He went out hunting late last night and has not come back.”

“Perhaps he is just sleeping out on the hills.”

“No! Old Rebekah has spoken. She says he has been taken by the evil spirits who dwell in the caves.”

“Don’t be so foolish!” I exclaimed.

“You call the Romany ways foolish?” Zak glared at me. “Everyone knows that Rebekah has the Sight. If she says a thing, it is true. The men are going out to look for him.”

“But where will you look? The moors are vast.

Where will you start?”

“My uncles saw my father late last night up near the entrance to the caves by the White Tor. He said he was looking for a fledging linnet as a gift for my mother and would stay a little longer on the hills.

He must have strayed too close to the caves and angered the spirits that live there. That is where we will go to search for him. Underground.”

“Let me come with you,” I begged. I didn’t believe in the spirits story, of course. I thought that his father must be lying hurt on the moors after an accident.

“This is not for girls, Maria. Besides, we hunt at night. My father was taken at night, so he will be found at night.” Zak shook his head to fight back his tears. “If my father does not come back, I will have to be the head of our family before my time, and look after my mother and sisters.”

“I am sure you will find him, Zak. But I wish you would tell the doctor or the village constable. They would help you to search.”

Zak laughed a hard, unhappy laugh. “They would be only too glad that one of our kind is lost.” I had never heard him speak so bitterly before.

“But what if your father has fallen and has broken his leg?” I asked. “You will need a doctor to help him.”

“Your ways are not our ways.”

“But I am like you! I am one of the Roma.”

“Then accept what the Elders have decided,” he said with a scowl. “We will hunt for my father tonight, and it is only the Brothers who will go. The women will stay at home and keep the fire burning. That will keep his soul alive.”

Fairfax passed by us and stopped to speak to me. “Don’t worry. We won’t rest until we find him.”

“Are you going with the Brothers? But you are not even Roma! It’s not fair!”

“But I am older and stronger than you are, little Maria.” Fairfax gave me a tired smile. “And I have some powers of my own.”

“I am not little,” I snapped. “I am nearly sixteen. I am not a child!”

I turned away and mounted Cracker, then galloped back to school, crying all the way. I wanted so much to help, but it seemed that Zak had turned against me. I was good enough to be his carefree companion, to be given secret kisses, but not good enough to ride with the Brothers. I wanted to prove that I was really part of the Gypsy family and just as strong as a boy.

If I had known what I would see, would I still have gone?

I do not know. I will never know.

I turned to Joseph again for help. Another shilling bought what I needed from him. He agreed to leave Cracker saddled and ready in the little paddock by the school gates that night. After lights-out, I told Winifred that I was not well and was going to see the nurse. Then I crept softly down the marble stairs and fled through a side door and into the moonlit grounds. My heart was beating so fast, I thought it would burst. Joseph had done what I had asked and had left a heap of boys’ clothing next to my pony. I pulled them on, muffling my figure with a thick jacket and scarf, then led Cracker out of the gates and down the lane to the village. I didn’t ride straight up to the Gypsy camp. My plan was to hide in the shadows of the trees by the river. Then I would join the men as they rode past in the darkness, hoping that they would not notice one more young lad joining in the hunt. With my hair pushed into a cap, I prayed that I would not be recognized.

My plan worked at first. After a few minutes I saw the riders file out of the camp to the river, on their way to the open moors. Zak was riding at the front, solemn and fierce, next to his uncles. I hung back until they had all gone by; then I urged my pony forward and joined their company. Once we reached the moors, the signal was given and the horses galloped away into the night.

Although I was sorry for Zak and wanted so much to find his father, I could not help rejoicing in that ride. The stars and the hoofbeats and the wind on my face! And the men cried out in low, strong voices; a chant that sounded wild and sad at the same time. They halted now and then to wait for an answering call from Zak’s father, but we heard nothing.

We reached the ridge with the stars shining high above us, and rode up to the standing stones. They looked like a holy temple in the moonlight. The men fell silent and we came to a stop. One of them dismounted and buried a bundle at the foot of the tallest stone. It was food and drink and gold coins.

“Spirit of the hills, take this offering in return for our Brother,” he said. “Open the secret ways to us.

Release his body and soul.”

Then the man sprang back up onto his horse and we galloped away again. Soon the land became marshy and wet and the horses had to pick a path carefully for fear of falling into the bog.

But at last we passed that danger and climbed up to the White Tor, the great outcrop of limestone where the caves led under the hills.

The mouth of the biggest cave looked so black, as though a hole had been cut out of the earth. It felt like the entrance to another world. Everyone dismounted, and the horses whinnied in alarm as they were tethered outside the cave mouth. I shivered and began to think that perhaps this was not such a splendid adventure after all.

“Our Brother has been taken under the earth.

We must follow him into Death.”

It was too late to turn back. I pulled my cap farther over my eyes and looked down at the ground as we moved forward, hoping that no one would speak to me and guess who I was. But someone jostled me and stepped on my foot. I looked up guiltily and saw Zak staring at me in recognition.

“You’ll get into such trouble!” he hissed at me.

“I just wanted to be with you,” I whispered back.

“Please, Zak, don’t tell.”

I think in truth he was glad I was there, because he didn’t give me away. He grasped my hand for a moment, and then we followed the men into the cave, walking silently like in a dream.

I can’t write about it anymore. That is enough, for now.

We had done enough for one night. After we managed somehow to get back into the school, I fel into a deep, exhausted sleep. My dream came again.

I was back in the underground cave. Torches were burning. I could smel the resin and sap of broken branches, a sweet smel above the fumes of smoke.

“Where are you?” I cal ed out, and then, “I am ready.” The face in the mask was there again, but I wasn’t afraid now. I was wearing a crown of leaves, like a queen. A pair of eyes met mine, ful of love, then the drums began and the blade struck.

When I woke, I felt strangely calm, as though I had slept for hours.

Listen to the drums. This dream had been different, as though something good and hopeful had been just out of reach. I felt an unexpected surge of strength and energy run through me. Getting out of bed, I went over to the window to look out at the grounds. The sun was already warming the smooth lawns. It was going to be a beautiful day. But the sight of the empty ruins brought back the events of the night before with a sickening crash. A wave of guilt poured over me as I remembered what had happened.

Evie’s storm of tears over the vision of Sebastian had eventual y subsided, and Miss Scratton had explained that what we had seen had simply been an il usion, memories of times gone by.

“After we made the protective spel , the images of some of the evil done in that place appeared to us. They weren’t real, Evie, only memories.”

“But I saw him! I could have reached out to him, stopped the quarrel with Agnes, saved her . . . and him . . .”

“These things have already happened. You in particular, with your gifts of water, are susceptible to the river of time, and seeing past shapes and stories. But they have already happened. There was nothing you could have done to prevent what has already been fixed. It is over. Sebastian and Agnes are both at peace.”

“So why can we contact Agnes?” Evie asked passionately. “She came when I cal ed her. Why can’t I contact Sebastian again?”

“The Talisman is your link to Agnes,” Miss Scratton said. “But you have no way of reaching out to Sebastian again, Evie. The dead can return, but we cannot summon them at wil . Let him be.”

“That’s what I wanted! I wanted him to be free of al this!

And I wanted to be free too. I can’t bear to go through al this again!”

“Then let us hope that our work wil hold fast and that the spirit that was Celia Hartle wil not come near you.”

“Do you real y think what we have done tonight wil be enough?” I asked.

“I cannot say,” Miss Scratton replied at last. “I hope so, but for the moment it might be wise for you to stay away from one another. That way, you cannot be attacked together, and any watchers that she might send wil have to spread themselves more thinly to keep you in their sights.

And the coven stil watches me with a suspicious eye, so do not seek me out, unless in great need. Agreed?”

“Agreed.”

“It may also be advisable,” Miss Scratton added, “for you not to leave the school grounds.”

Evie stared at her. “So we’re prisoners?”

“No, I merely advise caution.”

“So we’re ‘free’ and ‘protected’ and the people we love are ‘at peace,’ but we have to creep around in hiding?

We’re free to live and look to the future but we have to keep raking over the past? Wel , that’s not the kind of freedom I want. I can’t carry on like this, I can’t!” She clutched at the Talisman around her neck as though she were being suffocated.

Miss Scratton looked steadily at Evie. “We are none of us free to command life to be exactly as we would wish.

We are only free to make the choices that seem good to us. Be sure of what you choose.”

“Oh, I am sure,” said Evie. “I’m sorry. I can’t do this anymore.”

“You can’t back out now,” I said sharply.

“Can’t I? Just watch me.”

“That’s right, run away, why don’t you?” I said, suddenly furious. “At least you’ve got your precious Josh to comfort you. Why don’t you run off to him and his healing hands and leave the rest of us to face the danger?”

“It’s not that—,” Evie protested, but I wouldn’t listen.

“And what about poor Helen?” I demanded. “Don’t you care about her? She’s been marked out and we need to protect her. Have you thought about that? We won’t even have the Talisman to help her if you abandon our sisterhood.”

“Take it! Take it!” Evie threw the necklace at my feet, trembling with passion like a bright flame. “Here, you can have the Talisman. I don’t want it anymore! Isn’t that what you want? S for Sarah. That’s what the sign on the door said, didn’t it? Wel , take the Talisman! It’s your turn now.”