Enticed (15 page)

The wo
man staring back at me from the mirror was a little more polished than usual, but I still didn’t see how I would fit in. I looked every inch of what I was: a middle class schoolteacher. Thinking back to the arm candy Drew had showed me the night before, I felt ridiculous in comparison. I was just a normal girl. Even when Zach was chasing me around college when I was ten years younger and thirty pounds thinner, I was far more wholesome than hot.

The press would likely drop all their cameras and laugh their collective asses off the minute I stepped out of the car.

The Fullerton men, however, seemed quite pleased with the transformation when I met them at the bottom of the stairs.

“You look so pretty, Rachel,” Jonathan complimented
me, looking every inch the little gentleman in his dress slacks and sports coat.

“So do you,” I said as I ruffled his hair. He groaned in protest before he ran to the mirror in the foyer to fix the damage.

I turned to Drew with a smile. He was dressed the same as his son, though the effect was more devastating than cute. I shook away the thought. These would not serve me. Instead I relied on humor. “Suitable dress for the Turf Club?” I asked.

His eyes swept over my appearance. “Very nice,” he said. “It perfectly matches the gift I purchased for you.” He handed
me a large gift bag. Inside were a wide, floppy white hat and a pair of sunglasses.

I had to laugh. “So nice
that I’m going incognito?”

“You’ll thank me later,” he assured as he ushered us out the door towards his luxury sedan. It was a
sharp, black German import with tinted windows. This was, as Jonathan previously informed me, the family car. It usually gathered dust sitting next to Drew’s collection of two-seater sports cars that he used for pleasure, and the Benz that Harrison used when and if he drove us around.

Since I had arrived, I had taken over much of the driving in my cute little hybrid. Most of what we did outside the house related directly to my curriculum, so I didn’t feel right shoving this new schedule onto the house staff when they were busy enough already.

I gave up many things when I relocated to Beverly Hills. My sense of independence was not one of them.

Now we were going on a family outing in the family car
, with the patriarch of said family at the helm. I wasn’t entirely sure how I felt about it.

We drove into the part of Los Angeles known as South Bay, near LAX, where the Hollywood Park racetrack was located. It gave us enough time for Jonathan to dig up facts on our location, the race in which their horse was competing, and horseracing in general
, much of which he already knew thanks to his family’s involvement with the sport. Because of this, he adopted the role of teacher to show me the ropes. He chatted all the way there, and Drew and I would share amused glances over his informative commentary.

He
dominated the conversation all the way up to the box seats where we would watch the races. “I think you know more about this now than I do,” Drew teased as we sat.

Jonathan beamed. “That’s the point. There’s always more to learn. Right, Rachel?”

I nodded. “Indeed.”

Our race was scheduled for a little after one
o’clock that afternoon, so we were able to dine from the gourmet buffet at our leisure. Drew used this opportunity to teach me those things about horseracing that Jonathan hadn’t covered, gambling in particular. He tried to explain how odds were calculated on the horse’s history, the trainer, the workouts, and the distance and condition of the track. By the time the first race started, he’d even convinced me to place a two-dollar bet on the horses I thought would come in the first, second and third place positions.

“Win, place and show,” Jonathan supplied.

I gave him a sideways glance. “Not sure you should be a gambling aficionado at age nine, sir.”

“Life is a gamble,” he said. “Right, Dad?”

Drew winked at me. “Indeed.”

I won bupkis on the first two races. I was about to tell them it wasn’t for me when Drew insisted we go down to the paddock to see their horse, Topper Field, parade before her race. She was
a gorgeous dark bay mare with a blaze marking on her face and two white socks her legs. Alex Fullerton proudly watched from the sidelines.

His smile faded the moment he saw his brother approach. He stood a little taller as he faced Drew. “I see you brought the whole family,” he commented, his eyes briefly lighting on me.

“A perfect day for it,” Drew replied easily. “Rachel had never been to the races, so we’re teaching her all about the sport.”

Alex turned to me. “The fastest horse wins,” he smirked.

My eyes narrowed but I said nothing. He wasn’t worth the energy.

Drew nodded toward the horse. “Is she ready to add another race to her winning streak?

“Like printing your own money,” Alex agreed.

“What about that one?” I asked, pointing to the gray horse that followed Topper Field.

Alex’s smirk deepened. “That’s Long Shot Silver, and very appropriately named. She doesn’t even place. Save your money, Miss Dennehy. Only a fool bets on long odds.”

The
gray horse sauntered past, and for a brief second our eyes met and held as she paused ever so briefly in front of us. She bobbed her head and walked on.

I glanced back at Alex’s smug face before I turned on my heel and stalked to the nearest betting window I could find. While I had only parted with a couple of dollars each on the first two races, I dug out a handful of twenties and bet a whopping $100 on Long Shot Silver, currently listed with 25-1 odds.

Alex joined us in the box seats for the race. All the men around me cheered for Topper Field to win, but silently I rooted for my underdog horse that every single one of them had discounted. In a lot of ways, that horse was me. I didn’t care about the money I had so thoughtlessly squandered on a silly bet. I needed her to win on mere principle.

I was on my feet the minute I saw Long Shot Silver emerge from the pack of darker horses, a streak of silver as her jockey
pulled toward the inside track to close distance as they rallied toward the finish line.

I didn’t care how it looked or even how it sounded as I hollered for my horse, which battled bitterly with Topper Field in a
dramatic photo finish that ended Topper Field’s winning streak, and made me $2500 richer.

“How did you know she would win?” Jonathan marveled.

“You can’t always go by what you see on paper,” I answered, though I was looking at the elder Fullertons when I did so. My eyes met Alex’s. “Sometimes you have to go with your gut.”

I could see both men re-evaluate me in a brand new light, which made my chin jut out even further.
Alex bowed to me slightly before he left without another word.

“That,” Drew said as he glanced down at me, “was worth the loss.”

I was still triumphant as we stalled in bumper to bumper traffic on the way home. “So what are you planning to do with your windfall?” Drew asked.

I laughed. “I don’t know. I’ve never had one before, your generous salary excluded, of course.”

“Of course,” he agreed with a smile.

I glanced back at Jonathan, who listened to music on his tablet
through his ear buds. “I was thinking maybe we could get Jonathan a dog.”

“A dog?” Drew asked.

I nodded. “Every kid should have a dog. It teaches responsibility and unconditional love. I think it’ll help alleviate a lot of his loneliness.”

He considered it a minute. “And what kind of dog can you
buy for $2500?”

“You could probably
buy any number of dogs,” I answered. “But I was thinking of a dog that needs Jonathan as much as he needs him.”

We stopped at the first shelter we came to. Within ten minutes, Jonathan had fallen head
over heels for an affectionate, energetic two-year old Pug-Beagle mix (i.e. Puggle) named Yoda. His owners had been unable to provide the attention the dog needed, a problem I didn’t foresee with Jonathan. He was smitten the instant Yoda covered his face with happy kisses.

I donated a portion of my winnings to buy all the supplies we would need for the newest member of the family. By the time we got back to the house we were laden with a dog bed, dog food, dog toys, a leash, a harness and training books.

If I had planned this out a little better, I would have recommended that Jonathan read and research which breed of dog he felt would fit into his family. Instead he relied on his gut instinct and chose the dog he connected to the most, and I could hardly dismiss that after my display at the track.

“Just remember,” I told him before we signed the paperwork. “This isn’t a toy or a game or
a book. A dog is a living thing. If you can’t promise that you will take care of him and love him for the rest of his life, then don’t take him home. That’s how he ended up here, and that’s not fair to the dog.”

“Oh, I promise!” Jonathan said as he cuddled his new friend closer. “Rule #5, we never break our promises.”

That evening, Drew and I sat out in the backyard watching Jonathan interact with Yoda. He had a training book in one hand and treats in the other. He was committed to teaching the dog a trick before their first night together was over.

He succeeded by teaching Yoda to sit on command. They both ran over to demonstrate, before Jonathan moved on to the next trick on his list: teaching Yoda to fetch.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so happy,” Drew mused as he watched them bound and play on the grass.

“Kids and dogs go together like peanut butter and jelly,” I said. “I’m honestly surprised he’s never had
one before. A kid like Jonathan has everything to offer to a four-legged friend.”

“Elise doesn’t like chaos,” he answered. “She didn’t want the mess or the smell or the noise.”

I couldn’t imagine. Every bit of it was worth it to me, considering all the love I always got in return. The only reason I hadn’t gotten another dog after Jason died was because I didn’t want to risk losing anything else I loved.

After playing with Yoda, I realized how completely misguided that was. I had missed out on cuddles and kisses and
wiggly little furry bodies warming my lap. Yoda was a happy little dog with a permanent smile on his face that made all the yucky stuff in life a little more bearable.

That night I wrote a check for the remainder of my winnings to fund a Pug rescue in our area. Yoda and the priceless reminder of unconditional friendship had been the real winning bets that day.

Best of all I got to take that smug smirk off of Alex’s face for once.

Overall it had been an entire day made of win.
I treated myself to a bubble bath and a book, along with a rare glass of wine, before turning in for a blissfully dreamless sleep.

The next few months followed the same kind of pattern. Drew still had to travel extensively as part of his job, so Monday through Friday Jonathan, Yoda and I conquered much of L.A. as a fearsome threesome.

Weekends, however, were designated “family” time. We went to Disneyland the weekend after the races, which both distracted me from Jason’s birthday as well as reminded me vividly of what I lost. My hosts, however, gave me little time to be depressed, mostly because Jonathan understood the significance of the date. He was attentive and affectionate as he dragged me from ride to ride. A part of me felt somewhat guilty to laugh or have fun, but somehow I knew that this was part of the healing process. It actually connected me more to Jonathan than I already was.

After that we
visited almost every big park from Los Angeles south to San Diego every weekend thereafter. I would have declined, allowing Jonathan and Drew to bond with one-on-one father/son time, but Jonathan always insisted that I come along. One Friday afternoon, when I had gently insisted that I wasn’t, in fact, part of the family and as such it wasn’t entirely inappropriate for me to accompany them everywhere, he simply said, “I know how it feels to be left out.”

So I swallowed my protests and
joined them wherever they happened to go. Saturdays were our beach days. After Jonathan visited with his mom, we would spend the day playing on the sand or frequenting the park. Jonathan finally convinced us to join the trapeze school, which had been frightening as hell the first few lessons. After that, it became the thing we all looked forward to all week.

The scariest part of my Saturdays included time alone with Drew, who would always insist on driving us to the beach himself. We’d
often window shop at the Third Street Promenade outdoor mall across the street from the beach, just to make ourselves scarce while Jonathan visited with his mother.

Drew was continually surprised at my absolute lac
k of interest in shopping for the sake of shopping. Designer clothes, shoes and accessories generally held no interest for me. Personally, I thought it was ridiculous to own a purse that cost more than the petty cash I kept in my wallet.

“You can definitely tell that you are not from Los Angeles,” he would grin.

Around that time I’d see a housewife powerwalk past me wearing designer workout gear with words across her butt and wryly reply, “One of the many ways.”

This didn’t stop me from weighing in, when asked,
about his own clothes purchases. I had put together more than one suit for him. That was the highlight of our time alone together. I was essentially dressing one of the most influential businessmen in the world, and it certainly didn’t hurt that he was even more handsome than any mannequin that modeled the clothes in the window. Whether I dressed him up or dressed him down, it was my job to study his body and how to make him look even more appealing than he already did.

It would have been the easiest money I ever made, had I taken any money for my services.

Though the press had made only a passing footnote about me from that first outing at the racetrack, I really hit their radar once they got wind of our repeated shopping excursions. It was hard to color me in as a simple teacher or nanny when I was spending significant time alone with Drew, doing what girlfriends, wives or lovers typically did. We never once walked out of any of those stores with bags containing anything for me, but the rumors of me being a possible gold-digger rose in tabloid press, growing from a dull hum to a low clamor as the weeks wore on.

I refused to read the reports. The girl they wrote about didn’t exist; therefore it had nothing whatsoever to do with me. Jonathan was thriving as a result of the hard work I was doing in my act
ual job, but that wasn’t the kind of thing that sold rag mags.

And it wasn’t like I could speak openly to the press about my position
anyway. Thanks to the non-disclosure agreement, the only arrow in my quiver of defense was silence. One Saturday, as Drew and I ate ice cream cones on the swings, he explained that negative press about the two of us served a positive purpose: it kept his son out of the headlines.

“I’ve never contradicted anything they had to say, even when they would print outright lies,” he said. “Anytime I showed up with a beautiful woman on my arm other than Elise, I was instantly accused of sleeping around. But the boring old truth is that I never cheated on Elise
prior to her first affair. I was the victim of a bad reputation I never challenged.”

“And it cost you your marriage,” I said.

He shrugged. “It wasn’t much of a marriage. I worked a lot and she shopped as much as I worked. We grew apart, especially after Jonathan was born.”

I understood that more than he could know.

“The press was cruel to her, too, particularly while she was pregnant. She gained over forty pounds with Jonathan, which was pretty traumatizing for her. She’d always been thin thanks to her dancing career, but getting pregnant efficiently ended that dream. That was the first nail in the coffin. She felt like failure and the paparazzi were ruthless in how they portrayed her in the press. They took photos of her when she was least expecting, publishing photos of her in her ‘fat’ clothes when she wasn’t made up, which was devastating for a girl who had been so recognized for being so beautiful and athletic. When I would show up in the tabloids arm in arm with a beautiful woman, it was easy to connect the dots that I no longer found her attractive and had chosen to play the field.”

“Did you find her attractive?” I asked,
although I wasn’t sure why I cared.

“No,” he answered honestly and directly as he looked me in the eye. I nodded and looked away, so he further explained, “It wasn’t
so much her weight, but how she felt about her weight. She no longer felt sexy, so she wanted nothing to do with any kind of intimacy. She wouldn’t even change in front of me anymore, and if she did make love to me, it was in the dark with little to no enthusiasm.”

It was an intimate conversation that had no real place between an employer and his employee, but I found myself unable to put the brakes on the runaway train. Clearly he wanted, needed, to talk about it.

“Worse, she continually put herself down. I tried to argue at first but it was pointless. No matter what compliments I gave, she couldn’t see past her own reflection in the mirror. Her critical inner voice was the only one she heard. In the end, she agreed with all those hateful reports from her critics. I thought maybe, once Jonathan was born, she’d lose the weight and regain her self-esteem. By then, she hated herself so much that even when she lost the weight, she had become so accustomed to seeing her flaws she couldn’t properly celebrate any victory. After that she wanted a nose job, then a boob job, or this new dress or that new pair of shoes. She was filling her holes from the outside in and it became a full-time job just to deal with her. Frankly I was tired of it. I spent more and more time outside the house simply because it was easier to keep company with whole, healthy people.”

“Easier for you,” I said. “But where was Jonathan in all this?”

A look of regret crossed his face as he stared out the ocean. “That was the true casualty of our marriage. I didn’t realize how much her own self-loathing prevented her from bonding with her son. Maybe she resented him for the demise of her career or the damage to her body, but her neglect of Jonathan began almost from birth. We had nannies to take care of his immediate needs, so she was able to throw herself into Project Elise from the time she got home from the hospital. She was often too busy to hold him or cuddle him, or really bond with him. Yet she’d grow resentful of anyone who got close to him, and would find any reason to fire them, one after the other, even if she had to make something up.”

I nodded. This likely contributed to all those rumors of his hooking up with the help,
all those lovely young au pairs who had littered Jonathan’s past.

He went on. “
Looking back I can see that it was likely post-partum depression, but I was clueless as to how to manage that then. Father was alive at the time, and his focus was business. He convinced me it was her job to pull herself together, and I guess I just assumed that she would.” He looked at me. “She didn’t.”

“Maybe she couldn’t,” I suggested.

“Maybe,” he considered.

“She obviously loves Jonathan in her own way,” I said. “Otherwise she wouldn’t fight so hard to see him, even with all the complications.”

He chuckled humorlessly. “Or she finally found the one thing she can do to punish me for ruining her life.” Off my incredulous look he said, “We’ve been hurting each other for a very long time, Rachel. This is just par for the course.”

“It doesn’t have to be. It only takes one of you to be a hero.”

“I think you’re that hero,” he replied softly. “I wish we had found you a long time ago.”

I shook my head. “I’m just an objective observer, often telling you what you already know.”

“Take the compliment,” he commanded softly. “You’re good at what you do. And you’re a good person, who sees the best in everyone and every situation. That’s actually a breath of fresh air in my world.”

I could
see what he meant the more time I spent at his offices in downtown Los Angeles, around his equally driven staff, his ambitious clientele and his elite board of directors. Their world was cutthroat, and only a certain type of person could really excel among them. Oddly, as time passed, I started to understand why Alex would turn his back on it. It seemed so pointless, an endless rat race where only the most brutal survived.

I
certainly never expected to find myself there in their midst, but since Jonathan was doing so well in the curriculum I had designed for him, Drew suggested that we devote one day a week learning about the company. And since this would be Jonathan’s business one day, I could hardly argue. He could often see what he was learning “in class” put in practice in day-to-day life, which invested him more fully in his studies.

We even sat in on occasional board meetings, which were more stressful than they had to be considering Alex was always in attendance.

Thanks to Drew’s presence, I had a bit of a buffer when it came to Drew’s annoying brother. He watched me carefully behind hooded eyes, assessing every single move I made. Even if he couldn’t openly criticize me about the choices I made, I knew from the look on his face he judged me for every single one.

Apparently he believed
all my negative press. I wasn’t completely convinced that he wasn’t behind it. Either way, he no longer felt the need to persuade me over to his point of view, so our contact had been minimal. If Drew was out of town, Alex would come over to see Jonathan, content to play with his nephew and Yoda in the yard than venture into the house to find me wherever I was hiding at the time.

Boundaries had been established for better or worse, and I was prepared to enforce them… even if it meant that Alex would misconstrue every move I made.

He was going to do that anyway.

As summer gave way to fall,
we had all fallen into a comfortable routine. Though I was technically an employee, I finally felt more comfortable in the palatial home. I cooked quite a bit, which allowed Cleo to carve out a little more time to herself. She passed on the positive mojo by helping Harrison in his tasks, which blurred the lines considerably on whose job was whose. It taught Jonathan to pitch in, adapting to different tasks, taking responsibility for things that needed to be done, rather than waiting around for someone else to do it. We all maintained a happy balance that an outsider might mistake for the traditional family unit that Jonathan so coveted.

By
late September, the family court reviewed Jonathan’s impressive progress. Elise kept pushing for joint custody, but the judge budged only enough to give her unsupervised day visits, effectively ending our Saturday routine. Jonathan cried that whole night when he and Drew returned from the hearing, which angered Drew to the point of slamming into his study to drown his own frustration in alcohol.

After giving him a little time to work it through on his own,
I knocked gently on Jonathan’s door. He opened it and threw himself into my arms. “It’s going to ruin everything!” he wailed into my chest.

“Oh, Jonathan,” I said as I cuddled him close. “It’
s just a change. Progress into new territory can be scary but it’s generally never as bad as we fear.”

He shook his head. “She’s going to try to poison me against Dad. She’s done it before.” His arms tightened around me. “And she’s going to go after you, too. I just know it.”

I disentangled the distraught boy. “Sweetie, it doesn’t matter what anyone says. That can’t change the way you feel unless you choose to let it.”

He shook his head. “She won’t be happy until she wins.”

I pulled him to his bed and sat him down. “Jonathan, I know this is confusing. These are adult matters and they don’t make sense no matter how old you are. But she’s your mom. She loves you, I know she does.”

Again he shook his head. “She hates me, Rachel. The only reason she wants me is because Dad does.”

I pulled him into the crook of my arm. “I don’t believe that for a second. Giving birth rewires a woman. I don’t care who she is or what she does.”