Enchanter (27 page)

Faraday stared after them sadly. She wished she rode with them. They had gone, not only to recuperate, but also to wait for Axis. If Axis was alive and if he led an army against Borneheld, there was every likelihood that he would pass by Tare. And if he did, then there waited Judith to inform both Axis and all who would listen that Priam had named Axis his rightful heir. Faraday smiled to herself. Judith hoped to have another, equally substantial surprise waiting for Axis as well.

Azhure's Dilemma

Azhure lay under the light wraps and listened to£a\ Rivkah breathe. The women had shared an apart
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JLment since their arrival in Sigholt six weekspreviously, and their friendship had deepened and broadenedsince their time in Sigholt.

For Azhure the past six weeks had been the happiest of her life. She had enjoyed her time in Talon Spike, and revelled in her acceptance by the Icarii, but she had found her true niche here in Sigholt. Belial, astounded by her skill with the Wolven and impressed by her determination to be useful, had given her a squad of thirty-six archers to train.

To his surprise and to the astonishment of everyone else, Azhure had proved a natural leader. The squad quickly became the most disciplined, ordered and happy in Sigholt, and, to Belial and Magariz's constant amazement, none of her thirty-six men complained about being put under the command of a woman. Life in a garrison filled with three thousand men and exactly two women could have been awkward, but Azhure was no prude and, despite her good looks, within a week most of the men had simply accepted her for her abilities and seemed not to notice her sex overmuch. She was more noted for her skill at archery and the constant shadows of three or more of the Alaunt hounds at her heels.

But Belial had not remained impervious to Azhure's femininity, and therein lay Azhure's dilemma. She sighed and carefully slid out of bed. She waited for her stomach to settle, then swiftly dressed in a pair of man's breeches, riding boots and a light shirt. She snatched a jacket as she slipped quietly from the room. Sicarius, who slept at the foot of the bed, pushed out in front of her.

As the door closed behind Azhure, Rivkah opened her eyes and wondered when the woman would confide in her.

Azhure hurried down the stairs of the Keep, nodded to the guard at the main entrance, and walked briskly across the main courtyard towards the stables. This was the time of day when Azhure loved to ride, before dawn, when the day was fresh and young, and her best thinking could be done without the distractions of the bustling Sigholt community about her. Two of the other Alaunt hounds joined her, but she waved the rest back. She did not want the entire pack to disturb her thoughts this morning.

Azhure walked down to Belaguez's stall, whistling as she approached. Much to Belial and Magariz's horror she had started to ride the stallion several weeks ago. Belial, knowing how difficult the stallion was to control, could not believe that Azhure would manage to stay on more than five minutes. But Belaguez had responded to something in the woman, and although he sometimes pulled too hard, he otherwise behaved himself for her. Watching from the edges of the courtyard the first time Azhure had put the stallion through his paces, Belial had looked at Magariz, and then simply shrugged. Well, someone had to exercise the horse, and if Azhure could manage, then she could have the job.

Azhure rubbed a brush over the grey stallion's coat, then slipped a light saddle on his back. She cinched the girth tightly, waiting for the horse to blow himself out, then tightened the girth one more notch. The bridle took only an

instant to buckle, and then Azhure opened the stall door and led Belaguez out into the dark courtyard. The three Alaunt were waiting patiently by the gateway to the Keep, and Azhure swung into the saddle.

She nodded to the three guards on sentry-duty - they were used to her early morning rides - and then greeted the bridge cheerfully.

Once across, Azhure touched her heels lightly to the stallion's flanks and they were off, racing the sun to see which could top the crest of the Urqhart Hills first.

The view from the peak was superb. Azhure could see in a complete circle for many leagues. Directly below them stood Sigholt, gleaming in the pre-dawn light, the Lake steaming gently beyond. Azhure slid from the horse's back and sat on a nearby rock to watch the sun rise over the far distant Avarinheim. At the precise moment the sun crested the distant forest Azhure could almost have sworn the top of the forest canopy waved at her. But Azhure did not fool herself.

The Avarinheim and the Avar were too concerned with their own problems to worry much about her. Besides, both Avarinheim and Avar waited for Faraday, no-one else.

Azhure looked back down at the Keep, preoccupied with Belial. She and Belial had soon overcome their initial awkwardness on her arrival, and he had made it plain he harboured no ill feelings towards her rather savage assault on his person in Smyrton.

"You can work your guilt off by proving your worth here," Belial had said, and that was exactly what Azhure had set out to do, working herself and her squad of archers to the best of her ability. She had seen the appreciation in Belial's eyes and basked in his words of praise. She enjoyed his company and his friendship. Belial was a large part of the reason why these last six weeks had been so good.

But, over the past ten days or so, Belial had indicated he wanted to develop their relationship to a more intimate level.

Last night he had come upon her in the stable as she groomed Belaguez, and had laughingly seized and kissed her. What had at first simply been a light-hearted kiss had deepened until Azhure had pulled back, afraid not of Belial, but of her own enjoyment. He had asked her, then, into his bed and into his life. But Azhure s eyes had filled with tears and Belial had been instantly contrite.

Reassuring him, Azhure had kissed him gently, asking for a night to think.

And, oh, by the heavens, how tempting it would be to accept such a proposal! Azhure was sure she could develop a loving for Belial. He would be a man with whom she could easily spend a lifetime. And he loved her. That was a remarkable experience for Azhure, for, apart from Rivkah, Azhure had never before been loved. The entire village of Smyrton, as Hagen, had regarded her with disdain for her Nors features and beauty, and for her temper and independent spirit. The young men of the village had sought only the use of her body, and when she had consistently refused their attentions, they had spread rumours of her willing cooperation.

On all counts, Belial's obvious regard and love presented Azhure with every reason to accept his proposal. But there were complications. She loved Axis, yet that alone would not stop her from accepting Belial's proposal. Azhure well knew that Axis planned and hungered for the day when he would be by Faraday's side again. She harboured no childish visions about Axis asking for her hand in marriage. Azhure had already seen the disastrous effects of an attempted marriage between an Icarii Enchanter and a human woman, and Azhure knew, knew, that a life with Axis was denied her.

In that case, why not leap for the life that Belial offered her?

Azhure's hands fluttered over her stomach. Because she was pregnant with Axis' child, and that changed everything. She remembered that on the night she had fled Smyrton she'd dreamed that one day she would find a hero to father her children, and...well...now she had her wish. And though Belial might well accept Axis' child, Azhure simply could not go to his bed not only loving another man, but bearing his child as well. Besides, Axis had grown to maturity never knowing his own father, always doubting that he loved him, and it would tear him apart to know that a child of his would suffer a similar fate.

Azhure could not deny Axis his child.

What should she do?

Explain to Belial. Confide in him. Belial deserved to know. Then? Wait for Axis. Axis would surely return to Sigholt shortly.

Beyond that Azhure did not want to think. She was terrified that Axis might take the child from her completely.

"Never," Azhure muttered. "No-one will take this child from me." She would not deny her child its mother. Her eyes filled with tears. Azhure had loved her mother deeply, had pined whenever she could not see her, whenever she could not hear her mother's footfall or hear her sweet voice as she cleaned the house or tended the garden and poultry. Azhure had believed that her mother was the most beautiful woman in existence. Her desertion had scarred Azhure irreparably

-scarred her with a guilt that constantly gnawed at her. Had she not loved her mother well enough? Had her mother thought her a bad daughter?

"Why?" Azhure whispered, "why did you not take me with you, Mama? I loved you, Mama, I loved you!"

Of all her sins, Azhure constantly berated herself that she could not remember her mother's name; that single loss had festered at Azhure's conscience day and night for more than twenty years. She struggled, fought through sleepless nights. As a growing girl Azhure had once asked Hagen what her mother's name had been, but Hagen had lost his temper in a frightening display of anger and had badly beaten Azhure, and the girl had never asked from that day forth. Not only her mother, but her mother's name was lost to her.

Azhure took a deep breath. She would be there for her baby, and her baby would never have occasion to forget Azhure's name.

Her mind drifted, wondering what it would feel like to hold her baby for the first time, what it would feel like to have a child love and trust her and come to her for comfort and laughter. Axis' child would surely be wondrous. She smiled.

Would it be golden-haired like Axis? Or would it inherit her dark hair and pale skin? How Icarii would it be, and how human?

She looked about her, and quickly realised that the sun was already well above the horizon. If she did not hurry, the entire garrison might come searching for her. Azhure shot to her feet and grabbed Belaguez's reins, making the horse toss his head in alarm.

"Damn," Azhure muttered feelingly as she mounted the restless stallion. He would have to forgo his run down HoldHard Pass this morning. Was Belial already waiting for her in the stable?

He was.

Belial smiled at Azhure and took the stallion's reins from her. Azhure busied herself with unsaddling Belaguez.

As she undid the girth, Belial stepped up behind her and touched the back of her neck with his fingers. "Azhure, I hope you did not misunderstand me last night. I meant marriage, not simply a casual affair. I do not want you simply for a night, but for my life."

"I know," Azhure whispered, then closed her eyes as he gently kissed her neck, then her cheek, and then slipped his arms about her. He would make a good father for my children, thought Azhure. My dreams of heroes were so childish. What woman could ask for anything more than a good, solid man to support her?

"And your answer?" he said, his mouth in her hair now.

"Belial," she took his hands where they rested against her waist and slid them gently over her stomach. "Belial, I am pregnant. I cannot accept."

She felt his breathing falter and closed her eyes as she felt his pain. He did not deserve this.

"Axis," he said woodenly.

Azhure hesitated, then nodded. "Yes."

"Do you love him?"

"Yes," she said, and at her answer Belial tore himself away from her and thumped the stable wall in frustration and anger. Belaguez jumped sideways, startled, his ears laid back along his skull.

"Damn him," Belial seethed. "I have never, never, envied him his women until now!" He turned to face Azhure again. "Azhure, I love you. I want you whether you are pregnant or not. Whether you love Axis or not. You know that you have no life with him! You know that we could build a good life together!"

Why couldn't Axis have left her alone? Had the man no conscience? No self control? What of Faraday?

Azhure started to cry silently. "Belial. You must know more than anyone how it would hurt Axis to know that a child of his would be raised without true knowledge of its parentage. Do I know that I have no future with him? Yes, I do, Belial. But until Axis returns and the child is born I can make no decisions.

None."

Belial looked away again, his eyes dull now. "When?"

"Early Raven-month next year. The child was conceived at Beltide. The first day of Flower-month." She looked down at her hands. "It was just that once."

Belial laughed sourly. "Once? That was all he needed?" Azhure nodded, knowing that Belial was angry at Axis rather than at her. She wiped away some of her tears.

Belial shook his head in disbelief. "Axis should have bastards littered across half of Achar if once was all he needed
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to get a woman with his child. Why you, Azhure? Why you?"

He reached out and cradled Azhure against his body, certain that this would be the last time he held her. He could not compete with Axis. "Azhure, if you had not been pregnant, would you have come to me?"

Azhure did not hesitate. "Yes, I would have been honoured to do so."

For a long time they stood there quietly in the stable, listening to Sigholt wake up about them.

Rivkah had been up an hour when Azhure came back to change. Rivkah knew immediately she saw her that something was very wrong.

"Azhure? What is it?"

Azhure could say nothing as tears streamed down her face, and Rivkah hurried across the room and folded her in her arms. She hugged the younger woman and rocked her a little.

"Azhure, I know that you are pregnant." She smiled, trying to cheer Azhure up. "This will be my first grandchild."

"Belial asked me to marry him last night, and I cannot. Not carrying Axis'

child."

"Ah." Rivkah began to see. Azhure had wanted to walk away from the inevitable pain of Axis. Belial would have provided the perfect escape for her. But Azhure had not walked far enough nor quickly enough. And Axis was not likely to let a child of his go, especially if it was an Enchanter.

Rivkah led Azhure to the bed and held her while the woman cried herself out. Like Belial, Rivkah wondered at the fact that Axis had left no children behind him to this day, despite a string of lovers. Azhure s child would be his first.