Empath (Book 1 of the Empath Trilogy) (30 page)

He was watching the crowd while he digested what I’d said.  Shrugging, he agreed.  “Yes, that would be a hard report to receive as a parent.  I will be on my best behavior tonight and will do my utmost to wow them.  They won’t even remember hearing anything from Angie by the time I am done with them.”

Tightening my grip on his hand, I gasped, “You aren’t going to mess with their heads are you?”

“Do you want me to?”  He asked without flinching.

I’d never thought of
him
doing those kinds of things to people, definitely no more than a little convincing like he’d done to the desk attendant and that was for a good reason.  Gasping, I heard myself justifying, “Can
you
do that?  Do you know how to do what that
woman
did to Stephen?” 

Sensing my discomfort, he tightened his arm around my waist, bringing my head into his chest.  My heart automatically started to slow as I melted into his body and he lowered his face to my ear.  “No, Claire, I would never do that.”

There went my heart again and I pulled away.  “You didn’t say you
couldn’t
, just that you
wouldn’t
.”

“Yes, I could.”

“
Have
you ever?  Done that to someone, I mean, against their will?”  I whispered, knowing it was loud enough for him.

“Let’s head back to the room and discuss this there.”  His features had hardened, I could see that around his shades.

Mutely nodding, I turned with him and let him lead.  Our bodies drifted apart slowly on our way to the hotel, I had forced him to accept the loss of my hand for the time being.  I didn’t think I was necessarily angry, but I worried I could feel him distancing himself emotionally from me, getting ready to wall himself off and set up borders between us; what I could know and what I couldn’t.

When our wandering had been random, we had gone up and down the streets and walked slowly.  Now that we walked directly and with purpose, it only took ten minutes to arrive back in our hotel.  A brief march through the hotel’s lobby, and we were back in our room, locking the door behind us.  Our balcony doors had been closed and I reopened them.  I wanted the brisk breeze on my face to clear my head.

For the second time that afternoon, James came onto the deck with me; except this time was not as jubilant and the loss caused an ache in my middle.  He held out his hand and, of course, I took it as he led me back into the room.  Sitting down on the far side of the bed, he drew one leg up and toyed with his pant leg.  I sat on the far side from him with my feet pulled up Indian style and picked at a loose feather sticking out from the down comforter while I waited for him to start. 

“There are things about what I am that are frightening to humans.  In the stories, humans tend to concentrate on the physical aspects, they choose to forget the mental side.  It’s too frightening.”

I watched him, trying to keep my face open, not to pass judgment.  At the same time, I know that I didn’t want to hear anything that would burst my naïve bubble about him.

“We have the ability to enter people’s minds, alter their perception of reality, mess with their memory; it all comes with the territory.  When our bodies cross over so do our minds.  We are no longer held in check by what is and what isn’t.  Our brains work differently.  I can’t explain it but I can see into places in someone’s mind that just weren’t there before.  It’s as easy as you can see if someone is happy.  And all of that changes with age; the older the vampire, the greater the capability.  I know you spoke to Henry briefly about me.”  I opened my mouth to explain and he interrupted, “It’s fine, I’m not offended.  Henry and I are very close and I trust his judgment.  If he shares something with you about me, I’m sure there’s a reason.  But I must tell you it has been difficult.  This time with you has challenged me to confront some things head on.”

“Are you not comfortable with me?  With my being a human?”

“No, your mortality is not the issue.  What I am trying to explain is that I have my own doubts about myself, about
what I am
.  And yes, I am tempted at times to use my advantages to achieve my goals faster and easier than the more traditional routes.  However, as I believe Henry explained to you, there is something inside me that drives me, a desire to help both mortal and immortal beings.  It prohibits me from using my abilities to harm an innocent, even if it seems necessary at the time.”  His brow creased again.  “That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t fight to protect someone I love.”

“It doesn’t bother me that you don’t talk about your past or what you’ve done in other lifetimes.”  I laid a hand lightly on his arm needing to touch him.  “I thought about it the other day after we talked about your… your sexual history and I am okay with not knowing a lot of the details.  I know who you are and the details surrounding that are unimportant.”  I met his eyes.  “The one thing that I have to have is your honesty in this one.”

James studied me before he dipped his chin and held out his hand.  “I think that’s fair.”

We shook on our agreement and as soon as our hands touched, I felt dizzy.  My insides twitched and tugged and I put my hand over my stomach, part of me expecting to be able to feel the flesh moving beneath it.  The pull I felt toward him had grown to the point that I was afraid if ever he and I didn’t see eye to eye, I would have no power to argue or to leave. 

Lighthearted from our clearing of the air, James leaned forward and kissed my nose, keeping me from exploring the ramifications of my realization.  I let his mood infect me and take my mind to a better place, not allowing it to be troubled at the potential loss of identity I was facing.

Ch. 37

At 4:45 promptly, James and I drove up to the gates of the Fairlawn Mansion overlooking the bay.  An historic Victorian home built in 1891 and beautifully restored years ago to its original glory, it was a showpiece.  The fall sun was setting over the bay, backlighting the scene with a dramatic orange glow.  I wasn’t sure if the small blue lights lining the walkway were for the wedding or if they were always there; the mood they created was absolutely magical.  Lights shined from every window in the house, illuminating an awful lot of heads.  Closing my eyes, I sank back into my seat giving a brief thought to driving away right now.  A cool breeze tickled my bare shoulder when James opened my door.  His silky voice added to my goose bumps and I absently wondered if that would ever pass. 

“Claire, are you ready?”  His voice glided smoothly into my consciousness.

Opening my eyes, I turned my head toward the sound and sighed, laying my head back into the headrest.  “You know, it’s hard enough to walk in there with most of my family having heard who knows what about us.  Now you have to look like that.”  Lifting my hand I waved it at his body now dressed in a beautifully tailored dark blue suit over a crisp white shirt and light blue tie.  The effect, when combined with his eyes and pale complexion was hypnotic.  “They’re going to be in a frenzy.” 

He stared boldly at me as he held out his hand and smiled.  “I won’t notice who’s looking at me.”  Struggling to breathe, I took his hand and rose from the car. 

We walked arm in arm up the illuminated path.  I was glad to have the wrap over my shoulders, chasing away the chill of the unseasonably warm fall evening.  His face nearly glowed white in the fading light.  “James, when did you eat last?”  I knew he was usually very conscientious about feeding before going out with me but I hadn’t thought about what he did “on the road.”

“I was going to pick more up from my donor contact, but after what happened this morning,” he shrugged self-consciously.  “When you had your, ah, episode, I didn’t get a chance.” 

How could I forget?  I still felt like an idiot for fainting. 

Putting his fingers under my chin, he forced me to look at him.  “Don’t worry, I’ve been doing this for a long time.  I can control myself tonight.”  I let myself be reassured, despite the doubt pressing strong against the periphery of my thoughts as we strolled down the pathway.

When we walked through the front door, my suspicions were confirmed that Angie had been busy wagging her tongue.  All eyes were on us and, to my ears, it got a lot quieter in the crowded entry.  James put his free hand over where mine lay on his arm and I took confidence from him.  Standing straighter and putting on a smile, I strode over toward a group of my cousins hovering near the front room where the ceremony was to take place.  We had time for only the briefest of introductions before we were ushered to our seats.  I had hoped to sit in the back, but we ended up in the middle.  Either way, in a room of only about forty people, it wasn’t as though we could easily lose ourselves in the crowd. 

I had just enough time to turn to my date before the music started and mention something I had been thinking about since we had arrived here in town.  “Thank you for coming.  I’m having a great time on our first official date.”  He squeezed my hand and leaned in to kiss my cheek.  Neither of us turned when the bride walked in. 

My family was rather substantial, thanks to my father’s four siblings and their own large broods.  Mom was an only child like me, so we were often lost in the chaos when we all got together.  Due to the sizeable flock, I had attended many a wedding in my time.  However, up to now I had never really paid much attention to the ceremony itself, being too tied up with my “noise” to concentrate. 

This one was non-denominational with a judge officiating in a way that I found suited my spiritual tastes.  It was with a jolt of pleasure that I realized halfway through the ceremony that I could see James and myself up there exchanging vows.  I snuck a look at him and saw him watching me out of the corner of his eye. 

With a guilty smile, I brought my eyes back to the front yet couldn’t help my mind from wandering a few more times wondering what it would be like if I had forever with James, not just human forever but the real thing.  Would I change for him?  I didn’t have an answer ready for that question; it would have to be answered in time.  There was one thing I knew for sure if I did change, I wouldn’t want to be stuck at nineteen forever.

James met more family and friends in the receiving line.  He was something to watch.  In our time together, I had never seen him interact with humans beyond his assistant, and I had never seen him in a social setting.  My female relatives were eating out of his palm and he had the men laughing several times.  With enviable grace and charisma James put people at ease and drew them into conversations with each other, overcoming differences as well as any diplomat.  I would have to tell him later, he should be a peacemaker in his next lifetime.  He truly had a talent for bringing people together. 

At long last we reached the bride.  Vanessa had always been the beautiful one in the family and she never let anyone forget it; nor did her mother, putting her on the pageant circuit from three through college.  She was a good person whose Achilles heel was her vanity.  I saw her jaw drop when she saw James and I, and felt nineteen years of inadequacy fall away.  I couldn’t help but gloat for a fantastic couple of seconds.  Then it was gone and I could be happy for her again, smiling and laughing like I’d never had a chance to with my family before tonight.  When we got back into the car to head over to the reception at the hotel, The Suites in Canal Park, I couldn’t help a few happy tears from leaking out.

James noticed them.  “Was it that difficult?  You seemed to be happy.”

I dabbed at my tears with the corner of my wrap.  “That’s the thing.  It was the easiest time I have ever had with them.  I wish I had met you and the cats a long time ago.”  He reached over to take my hand. 

“Me too.  We’d better go.”  He winked playfully.  “Word might get out that we were having a go here in the car.”

I was still laughing as we headed onto the main street for the short drive to the reception. 

Anyone who has been to a wedding knows that the ceremony is where all of the oohs and aahs happen, and the fun is at the reception.  This was the first one where I got to really have some fun as well and I was looking forward to it by the time we pulled into the lot. 

The hotel, not far from ours, was perched on the shore, its shape angling with the curve of the lake maximizing the natural views.  The reception was in a large event room on the top floor; the water side was covered almost entirely in glass with the lights dimmed enough to allow the view of Duluth at night to decorate the room.