Embracing Emma (Companion to Brisé) (35 page)

I don’t get six weeks to prepare. I get four days.

“Emma, you need to come home.” My dad’s voice comes down the line. It’s soft, reassuring, chilling.

“I am. For Holly.”

“No baby girl, today. Now. Something’s happened.” I listen to his words, my flight information he’s arranged, all with fear flooding my system. I missed so much time. I won’t have a chance to say goodbye. My body shakes, and I make my way to my supervisor. I feel like time is stopping, my heart slowing down to non-existent beats. Telling him the minimal, words hard to speak around the lump forming. I don’t hear his response; everything is muted but heightened.

My flight seems to take an eternity. I haven’t moved from my seat, staring at the headrest in front of me. I told my dad I’d get a cab. He didn’t want to leave the hospital. I hesitate before opening the doors. A sense of déjà vu creeps in my system, different circumstances, different patients . . . same place, same fear.

I tiptoe down the hall; if they don’t know I’m here, I don’t have to hear the updates. I don’t have to face the demise in front of me. I see Brett holding James up, Mom consoling them both, this loss won’t be overcome. My dad in the corner, his gaze unfocused, his hands in fists.

I rush to him. I’m at a loss not knowing the circumstances but have nobody to blame but myself.

Standing in my dad’s arms, my hand automatically goes to my necklace. Entwining it around my finger, releasing, twirling it again. It’s my comfort. He gave me the necklace for my sixteenth birthday . . . trying to charm me into canceling my first date with William Jacobs. The boy who owned my heart . . . the boy who broke it.

I haven’t been home in three years, and I blame him. I’ve never wavered in that culpability until today. In this moment, it doesn’t seem to matter. I told him goodbye in this same hospital waiting room where I’m standing embraced by my father. Ironically, not much has changed from that scenario to this one. One life hangs in peril, yet again. The boy I gave everything to wasn’t the same I fled from. That day he destroyed my belief in him.

He was cold.

He was callous.

He became a stranger right before my eyes.

Today, I don’t know if it’s time or healing. Or fear . . . but I see things differently.

“Daddy . . .” I look up to his red-rimmed eyes, brimming with unshed tears.

“I know, Princess. No matter what we’ll get through it. Together.” His lips rest on the top of my head, and I breathe his scent, begging for the comfort it used to bring me.

“I should have been here. I shouldn’t have run.”

“Emma, we all do what we need to do. Nobody blames you.”

“I do. These last years seem so wasted. I could have been here making memories. I could have been with you and Mom. Brett and James . . .” I refuse to admit William is included in that thought.

“You can’t stop what’s happening. Nothing you could’ve done would have changed this.” I glance over to James, his head hung down, tears running unchecked down his cheeks. I’m not so sure my dad’s words absolve me. I believe that day three years ago set the course for this. I distanced myself, created a life that didn’t allow my past to enter; I created a fortress around my newly erected reality. Life back home went to shit.

Before I can go over to console James, the doctor comes in, and all of our attention is snapped to him . . . waiting with baited breath to hear the news.

Life or death.

Goodbye or hello.

Forgiveness or blame.

I’ll never forgive him or myself . . . if this is the end.

Three years wasted.

Three years away from my family.

Three years of hate.

Three years comes down to this moment.

“Jacobs family?” The doctor looks at all of us; we’re all family in this moment.

“The bullet nicked an artery, and we had to go in and repair it. We couldn’t find an exit wound but were able to recover the bullet. He’s being moved to a room in ICU. We’re being optimistically cautious, but he’s not out of the woods. His body went into shock during surgery, and we had to revive him twice. We’ll know more if he wakes up.”

“When.” I demand.

“Excuse me?” his voice curious.

“You said
if
he wakes up, what you meant is
when
he wakes up.” He stares at me for a few moments.

“Of course.” He exits, and I grip my dad’s arm.

“What the hell happened?” He was shot. How does that happen?

“William’s been with the narcotics division for several months,” Brett explains. A police officer? My Will.

“I’m confused.”

“There will be time to fill you in. For now, we concentrate on him.” I nod. My head spinning, my heart pumping wildly, my legs jelly. I sink into the chair trying to catch my breath.

Chapter Forty-Four

William

Tingles shooting up my arm, my fingers are immersed in warmth scorched into my memory. I blink and the first thing I see are those cornflower blue eyes rimmed with glasses. The same eyes I’ve dreamt of as far back as I can remember.

“I missed the glasses,” I rasp.

Those eyes. I’m mesmerized.

“You’re awake.”

“I hope so.” My coughing stops me from elaborating, sending pain throughout my chest. She pushes the call button continuously. I cover her hand to stop her, ringing them nine hundred times won’t get them here faster.

“Don’t talk.” Her head turns to the door, and I feel the loss of being able to stare at her. I pull her hand, her head shooting back to me and I relax. “Do you know what happened?”

I nod, that motion causing pain in my head. “Shot.” I need some fucking water. My eyes search left then right, and I spot the pitcher. I take our joined hands and move them, hinting at what I need.

“Wait for the nurse. I don’t know what you can have. You weren’t supposed to wake up this soon. Your parents are going to be upset they weren’t here. The doctor said it’d be at least twenty-four hours after surgery. It’s been three. God, Will, you scared us.” Her rambling is cute, but her calling me Will is . . . everything. Her nervousness doesn’t die down after the nurse appears and checks my vitals. The nurse agrees with Ems that it’s a shock I’m awake and alert. She’s pacing when the doctor runs a battery of tests and agrees to let me sip water.

She sits down when he leaves, holding the cup to my mouth, letting me suck through a straw. “That’s enough.” She pulls it from my mouth, spraying us both with water. She starts crying, and I begin freaking the fuck out because I can’t get to her. I can’t maneuver amid the wires, tubes, sheets . . . fuck it.

Biting my lip through the pain, I shove every obstacle out of my way and grab her arms. She’s still sobbing, teeth chattering, body shaking. Inconsolable. I pull her to me, her head slamming into my chest causing my stomach to revolt in pain. “Shh, Ems. Breath. C’mon. Calm down. It’s okay.” This sends a fresh wave of tears, and I can’t get her to stop.

Time passes, and her breathing becomes ragged. I rub circles on her back, stroke her hair yet still nothing is working. I call the nurse, and as she arrives, everyone sweeps into the room. Luke sees her in this state and tries lifting her from my arms. She clings to me, fighting his advances. I grit my teeth, this tug of war killing me, I’m dizzy from pain. “Enough.” The nurse pushes people from the bed, bends down level with us.

“She won’t quit. I can’t get her to stop. She’s hyperventilating.”

“What’s her name?” Her hands join mine, trying to mollify her.

“Emma. My Ems.”

“Emma, I need you to calm down. Breathe for me.” She’s relaxing in my arms. “He’s okay. He’s going to be just fine.” She stays with us until Ems is calm.

“I—I’m s-so-sorry.”

“No talking. Just concentrate. Keep breathing for me.”

Quiet fills the room, all eyes pinned to us, I don’t hear them breathing. Blake is leaning against the doorjamb wearing a shit-eating grin. I feel her inhale my scent, her fingers rubbing my neck . . . I feel her inside me.

Leaning back, she looks embarrassed. “You’re the one who was shot, and
I
can’t catch a breath. I’m an idiot.” She eases off me. “I’m sorry if I hurt you.” I don’t know where this wall is coming from, but I’m ready to tear it down.

I want to confront her regarding her change of attitude, but everyone swarms me. Asking questions, relief surging through them, I lose sight of her.

Chapter Forty-Five

Emma

I’m an idiot. Sitting in the room with him while the
‘adults’
talked to police; filled out forms, and all things to do with this crime was overwhelming. Watching his lungs expand with air, his rhythmic heartbeat, it all seemed right. I was where I was supposed to be. His eyes opened and held me to my spot. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t look away. I refused to release him.

He’d hurt himself to console me. He’d risked further injury to hold me in his arms. It was wrong, yet it wasn’t. I heard James tell him they’d called Elise, and she’d be here as soon as she could get a flight. It’s not me he should console; it’s Elise. She’s his now.

I sit in the hallway, contemplating where to go, what to do. Blake saunters to me with his cheesy grin and oafish ways. What a dork! “Hey there. Long time no see.”

“I know.” God, I missed him.

“Hate it’s under these circumstances.”

“Yeah. I didn’t even know he’d joined the force.”

“How you holding up?” Grateful he didn’t read me the riot act for my disappearing act.

“I’m not. I’m falling apart. My dad called, and I knew I had to be here. Now I’m not sure.”

“Don’t go there. He needed to see you.”

“Easy for you to say,” I mutter.

“Want to hear something stupid?”

“If it involves you, yes.”

“My pick-up line I tried last week.”

I groan, this is going to be good. “Don’t keep me waiting.”

“I bought her a drink, one of those fruity things, no umbrella. Who says ‘hold the umbrella’?”

“The girl you were trying to bang?”

“Classy, Emma. Yes, it was her. So we’re chatting, I’m acting like I’m getting to know her,” he pauses at my chuckle, “enough time passed so I made my move. I leaned in close and whispered, ‘Want to talk to my dick and make it throw up?’”

“No you didn’t,” I wheeze. He did. I know it. “What happened?”

“I went home with wet pants. Wet for all the wrong reasons.”

“You need help!” I cry.

“You need to go back in there.”

“I can’t.”

“Why?”

I look at him. “Blake, I know. He’s with someone else. I shouldn’t be here.”

“He’s what? You what?” His eyes are scrunched. “He isn’t with anyone, Emma. You’re it for him. His end all be all.”

“I heard James say Elise was coming. I’ve seen them in pictures.” He shakes his head, chuckling the whole time.

“Elise
is
coming. She’s his damn sister.” His what?

“His sister? Since when? I’ve missed a lot.” I can’t wrap my brain around this.

“You have missed a lot, and it needs to stop. You need to march your ass back in there and talk.”

“Can I walk? Marching is hard in heels.” I’m going to do this. I’m going to confront my past. Fix my mistakes. Let the cards fall where they may.

I knock and enter. Brett is the only one still inside. “Your parents and James went down to the cafeteria. I think I’ll join them.” As he passes me, he hugs me and whispers, “Glad you’re here.”

“You came back.” His voice is less harsh since he’s been allowed water.

“I did.” My steps lead me to him.

“Why’d you leave?” His soulful eyes draw me in.

“I have a habit of running.” The truth shall set you free.

“You do. Are you done?”

I shrug. “We have a lot to say to one another.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” His humor sobers me. I could have lost him today. All without forgiving him. Forgiving myself will take time.

“Then I guess I’m not either.” I pull the chair close and take a seat. “Tell me about yourself.” I settle in for a long night.

Chapter Forty-Six

William

I wasn’t much company. I dozed off as soon as I laid back and got comfortable. Getting shot, surgery, and heavy doses of pain medication can do that to a person. I hate I didn’t get to share with her what’s happened in my life. I was curious where her path led her. Where she was living . . . what she was doing. I stare at the vacant chair and will her to come back. I hoped I would wake to her, but I was alone.

I take a deep breath, feeling the burn in my lungs. I heard the doctors. I was lucky this time. The whole bust had gone to shit once the twins started firing. Fucking idiots to shoot close to the meth lab . . . but it’s done. They’re gone. I didn’t go with the intent to kill, but I can’t say I’m sorry it happened. Some souls you can’t save, and they didn’t want to be saved.