Embarkment 2577 (34 page)

He took my hand, pressed the remains of
his lips against it, and placed it on my chest. I wanted to reach for him or
call him back, but Isaac mumbled, “Let him go, honey. He has a job to do and I
need to do mine.”

Something touched my neck and I entered
a dreamless darkness.

The next time I opened my eyes, I lay on
a soft bed in a small room. Adam sat to the side, toying with a data pad.

“Hey handsome.”

He glanced up. “Now,
that’s
flattery.
You got your own room because Ima says I scare the patients.”

I wanted to laugh, but didn’t have
enough air. I reached my hand out for him instead. “When do you get your new…
parts?”

“It’s not a priority. We have to fix the
ship and the people first.”

I understood what he meant, but it still
seemed unfair. “Thank you for being here.”

He looked at the data pad. “Would you
like to hear about the Bourne Identity?”

“Robert Ludlum. Yes, I would.”

*****

Ima’s face hung over me. “Welcome back.”

I glanced around the room, and didn’t
recognize anything. “What happened?”

“You had surgery, remember? We are on
GA118 and thank the galaxies you’re awake. Your android is driving me crazy.”

“I want a Happy Meal. And a toy.”

“I don’t know what those are, but I gave
you a heart. Isn’t that enough?”

She looked tired. “Ima, it’s the best
anyone has ever done for me, and you did it twice.”

“Now, you will lie on this stretcher and
be rolled back to the ship, and you will stay in sickbay at least until
tomorrow. After that, I don’t want to see you in my professional role again. As
a friend, hopefully every day. As a doctor, no.”

Once everyone was convinced I wouldn’t
fall down dead, I could return home. Adam still looked like something out of a
bad movie. I had asked him so many times what happened and he always changed
the subject, I didn’t expect him to answer this time either.

“She wanted to change me. She thought it
would be easier with you out of the picture.”

Did it work? The question burned on my
lips, but was too blunt to be spoken out loud. I touched his ruined face
instead. “Does it hurt?”

As long as he’d had to go around like
this, I sincerely hoped the answer would be
no.

“It did at the time. She did that on
purpose, of course. There are perks to being a machine; I don’t feel it
anymore.”

I didn’t understand. How would tearing
his coverings off help turn him to her cause?

He explained in a dry voice, “She wanted
to remind me of my true origin, show me how little I have in common with
humans.”

It sounded like there had been more to
it, but I probably didn’t want to know. He didn’t put much emotion into the
words, just recapitulated events, but still made me shudder. I snuggled into
his arms and buried my face against his chest. He fell silent and entangled the
uncovered fingers in my hair.

“Alex, I have to tell you something.”

Uh-oh. Was there something even more
horrible? He had avoided the subject for so long I expected the worst. “What’s
that?”

What would be worse: knowing whatever it
was he wanted to say, or letting my imagination make things up?

“I slept with her.”

It was tempting to imagine the
mechanical siblings taking a nap together. “What did you say? You
what
?”

“I had to. It was the only chance to get
close enough to…”

I shook his hands off and bounced to my
feet. “I don’t believe this. I’ve been kidnapped, almost raped, shot, and
nearly died from a heart attack. Meanwhile, you were off cheating with another
life form? You know, they told me you wouldn’t come for me, but
this
?”

“But…”

“John told me you couldn’t come for me
because you had other things to do. I didn’t expect those
other things
to be exploring your sexuality with other women.”

“It wasn’t like that. Not at all.”

“That’s it. You’re leaving. Get out.”

A part of me couldn’t believe the words
that left my mouth. This was the same person who drove the medical chief to the
brink of sanity with his worries for me.

“Alex, it was the only way I could save
the ship.”

“Fine. If you’re not going, I am.”

“Alex!”

I didn’t turn back.

I didn’t know where to go. Instinct told
me to seek out Anya and John, but that would be a really bad idea. Partly
because they’d already done so much for me and deserved some time alone, and
partly because John looked too much like Adam.

The guest rooms didn’t seem tempting. It
was late and I was too low and angry to want to be all alone. My feet carried
me to Jia’Lyn, and I hesitated for only a second before ringing the doorbell.

“Alex, what’s wrong?”

I threw my arms around the tall alien.
“Can I stay with you tonight?”

“Of course, but…”

She shook her head and led me inside,
made me sit down, and handed me a mug filled with sweet smelling tea.

“What happened?”

I clutched the mug and answered in a
half sob. “Nothing much. Seems like my husband found time to have an affair
with his sister while I was getting beaten, shot, and almost raped.”

She rarely showed surprise, but that
made her eyes round as saucers. “Adam?”

“Mmhm.”

“But… That makes no sense. He told you
this?” She didn’t wait for me to answer. She fetched some blankets and a
pillow. “Try to get some rest and we’ll talk in the morning.”

“Thank you.”

She wasn’t generally a touchy-feely kind
of person, but she rested a hand on my shoulder. “I don’t know what happened,
but Adam loves you. He tolerates everyone else, but he loves you. Good night,
Alex.”

It was one of the many things I loved
about her; she kept her cool and stayed neutral. It was exactly what I needed.

Thoughts churned in my mind. I should
probably be happy he wanted to be completely honest, and maybe I should have
stayed to hear him out. Still, during all the time we’d known each other, he
hardly even looked at another woman. If a supermodel walked by him stark naked,
he would offer her his shirt.

Stunningly beautiful women hit on him
all the time, sometimes literally threw themselves over him. He generally
looked weary and asked why.

This matter with Eve was not a small
thing. Maybe his base programming
was
changing. Maybe Eve had succeeded,
dead or not.

I had expected him to follow me,
apologize, and carry me home whether I wanted to come or not, but he just sat
there and watched me go. Maybe he didn’t want me anymore.

I stared up at the ceiling for hours.
Good thing I’d slept enough for a life time while I was sick. Good thing Adam
stalled telling me until
after
the surgery. A day earlier, this would
have killed me. Imagine Ima’s wrath if he had shown up carrying my dead body,
telling
that
story.

*****

The next morning, Jia’Lyn made me eat
breakfast and I told her what really happened. Her sober attitude and the new
day made everything seem even more surreal.

“You said he slept with her. Why would
he do that?”

“What do you mean why?”

“Sweetheart, we’re talking about
Adam.
He’s not… you know… like other people.”

I made a dismissive gesture. “It sounded
like he had some form of explanation, but I didn’t stay to hear it.”

“The only thing that sounds like Adam in
all this is telling you about it. Maybe she disabled his ethics circuits or
something?”

“Maybe he just realized he liked her.
She was built for him to love, you know.”

She sighed. “You’re welcome to stay here
as long as you want to, but you’ll have to talk to him eventually.”

I swallowed a sob, “I know, but not
today.”

She needed to go to work and I was too
restless to sit there all alone. I roamed around the ship, hoping I wouldn’t
run into anyone. Eve’s crew really did a lot of damage. Several floors were
remodeled. I couldn’t understand the purpose of the changes, but it probably
made sense to a crazy android…

My new scars hurt and I should probably
take it easy, give my body more time to heal, but I couldn’t. I saw a couple of
ensigns working on restoring a computer console. “Hey, you guys need an extra
pair of hands?”

They looked surprised, but showed me
what to do. I needed to prove to myself I wasn’t worthless. I needed a value
besides being my cheating husband’s wife.

John came looking for me. I said, “I
can’t talk to you right now. I love you, but please go away.”

He lifted his hands in a pacifying
gesture and disappeared. A little while later, Anya appeared next to me. “If
you want to talk…”

“…I know where to find you. Give me a
couple of days.”

I wanted to hug her, but this was just
an on-ship hologram and had no substance.

That night I was so exhausted I actually
fell asleep in the safety of Jia’Lyn’s home. I woke early and went back to
work. She came to look for me after a couple of hours, leaning her shoulder
against a wall. “Guess who came to see me.”

I muttered, “Cheating bastard.”

“He is.”

I didn’t expect her to agree with me.

“I told him I didn’t want to know what
happened, but he told me anyway, of course.”

“Of course.”

She made a half-decent Adam imitation.
“I betrayed her. I had to. It was the only way to save the ship.”

“Blah, blah, blah.”

“I know… Men, right?”

I expected her to leave, but she kept
her gaze fixed on me. “Alex, what are you going to do if you can’t forgive
him?”

“I don’t know.”

My life on the Bell had come to be
because of him, and it was the only thing I knew. I had no other home, nowhere
else to go. Blake would probably let me stay, but I couldn’t see me living
there without Adam.

My friend sighed. “You look as
despondent as he did.”

“What did you tell him?”

“That he did something really bad, that
he should ask forgiveness, and count his blessings if you take him back.”

Good one.

My husband came to see me around noon. I
stood with my back at him, tearing at some tubes. Eve’s robots left them
everywhere and I couldn’t even begin to figure out a reason. I heard Adam
approach, and ignored him.

“I really need to talk to you.”

I didn’t turn around. I didn’t even turn
my head, or acknowledge he was there.

He took a step closer. “I tried to tell
you earlier I had to lure her. She needed to think she had me, be sure of it,
or I couldn’t have saved anyone. I’m more sorry than words can say, it was a
horrible thing of me to do, but I couldn’t see another way.”

I glared back over my shoulder. “Oh
yeah, and you didn’t enjoy it at all, and you weren’t at all tempted to go with
her.”

My voice oozed with sarcasm and he
looked deeply unhappy.

“I was tempted. It was nice. Not like
with you, but nice, and I enjoyed it for several seconds. I’ve felt terrible
ever since.”

If this happened to anyone else, if
anyone else even said the same sentence, it would have been comical. “Well,
several seconds is a very long time for you, isn’t it?”

That put him off. He looked helpless, at
a loss for words. I must have been right.

“I have something for you.”

“Of course you do. It doesn’t matter
what century it is, cheating men will always try to buy themselves out of
trouble.”

He put a rather big and shiny metal
cranium on the floor between us. “This is all that remains of Eve. I retrieved
it from recycling for you. You can destroy it any way you want.”

That was actually kind of cute. Shooting
this to pieces or dipping it in acid would be therapeutic. I tried to scowl,
but it was getting harder by the minute.

Adam came a little closer, just enough
to put his hands on my shoulders. “Please remember I love you. And I did kill
her.”

I avoided his one brown eye and glanced
down at the shining skull. Why did I long for him when I was so mad I could
burst?

“Please come home. I miss you.”

He really looked awful. I had forgotten
just how bad it was during my stay with Jia’Lyn, but he had gone through a lot.
“You will never do
anything
like this again.”

“Never.”

“We will never talk about her again.”

That demand probably seemed illogical,
but he nodded. I think he would have agreed to anything. The very thought of
him touching, kissing, holding, making love to another woman made my blood
boil. It didn’t matter she was dead; I wanted to kill her. I wanted to
hit
him, but it was pointless. He’d just wait for the fit to end.