Elspeth Hart and the Perilous Voyage (7 page)

13

Four O'Clock the Next Afternoon

Elspeth had to fight to stay calm as she slithered along in the crawl space above the rooms down on level four. Cassie had said it would be pitch dark, but it wasn't just that – it was also very narrow and the dust kept making her cough. And to make matters worse, the ship was rolling from side to side, even more violently than before.

Elspeth was glad Rory and Lazlo were right behind her.

“Just five more panels,” she whispered. She had worked out exactly how far they would have to go to reach the cabin. She crawled along in the darkness, counting down the panels, then pulled up the one ahead of her and peered inside the room.

The horrible mess and the disgusting smell told her at once that it was Miss Crabb and Gladys Goulash's cabin.

“Bingo,” Elspeth said. “We're in the right spot.” She glanced behind her and saw Rory's pale face in the darkness.

“Good luck,” he hissed. “Be quick. When you're ready to come back up, I'll reach down and help you. I'm keeping an eye on the time.”

Elspeth drew her head back inside the shaft and wriggled until her feet were sticking down into the room. Then she let herself drop lower and lower until she landed with a soft thud on one of the beds.

She jumped up at once and looked around. Miss Crabb's spare false teeth were sitting in a glass by the side of the bed. The smell was even stronger now Elspeth was inside the room. It smelled like a mixture of old cabbage and dirty socks.

“Yuck,” Elspeth said. But she didn't have
time to worry about the smell. She searched high and low for the precious recipe. She went through Miss Crabb's horrible shiny blouses with sweat patches, and through Gladys Goulash's dresses with stains and smears all over them. She searched and searched until she was about to give up. But just as she heard Rory hiss at her to come back up, Elspeth Hart lifted up Miss Crabb's pillow and found…

Elspeth picked up the diary and flicked to the most recent entry. She had to cling on to the bedside table to stay upright as the ship swayed from side to side.

“Pssst! Elspeth! Time to get out of there!” came Rory's anxious voice.

Elspeth glanced up. “Thirty more seconds!” she said. “I've got Crabb's secret diary here!”

She scanned the page.

Elspeth was dying to read on, but she could hear footsteps outside.

“Hurry!” Rory was reaching his hands out towards Elspeth. “They're coming!”

Elspeth stuffed the diary back under the pillow and jumped up on to the bed. She grabbed Rory's hands and he pulled her upwards until she could scramble the rest of the way herself. They slammed the panel closed and sat on it, breathing heavily and not daring to make a noise. Even Lazlo was still for once.

The key turned in the lock and they heard Miss Crabb come into the room. She muttered and stomped about for a bit, then Gladys plodded in. Elspeth pressed her ear against the panel and strained to hear.

“They've been banging and shouting again, them two in the storeroom,” Gladys
complained. “Can't we shut them up?”

“Gah! Stupid little rat-faces,” Miss Crabb said. “They probably want food. Fling them some of those tomatoes from lunch.”

“I've done that,” Gladys said. “They went quiet for a bit, but then they started up again.”

“I'll deal with them, Gladys Goulash,” said Miss Crabb. The icy calm of her voice made her sound very sinister indeed.

Elspeth could see Rory's eyes get bigger as they listened.
What is Crabb up to now?
she wondered. She pointed back along the tunnel, and she and Rory slithered to safety.

“You found her
diary
? No way!” Cassie said.

They were in their cabin, telling Cassie what had happened, and brushing off the
dust and cobwebs.

“Did it tell you anything useful?” asked Cassie.

“It said that the recipe was hidden somewhere nobody would dare to look!” Elspeth said.

Rory shuddered. “That could be
anywhere
in their room.”

“No, wait, it also said something about eyes.” Elspeth was wiping the dirt from her hands. She paused, screwed up her nose and tried to remember.
“Nobody would dare to look, because there are too many spying eyes.”

“What on earth does that mean?” Cassie said.

“I'm not sure. I haven't worked it out yet,” Elspeth said. “But there's more. Rory, did you hear Gladys Goulash saying two people were ‘banging and shouting'?
And Miss Crabb said she'd take care of it. It sounded like they had prisoners. You know who that must be…”

“Poppy and Pippy!” said Rory. “The real hair and beauty ladies!”

Elspeth nodded. “Crabb and Gladys Goulash haven't just taken their place – they've got them locked up on board the ship! And we're the only people who know they've been taken prisoner,” she said. “We
have
to get them out.”

14

Miss Crabb's Troublesome Prisoners

As you know, dear reader, Miss Crabb and Gladys Goulash had no idea that Elspeth Hart was on board the ship. Which is just as well, as they already had plenty of problems to deal with. Miss Crabb hadn't bargained on Poppy and Pippy being quite so much trouble. They hadn't given up banging and shouting, and it was becoming rather hard
to cover up the noise. In fact, they seemed to get louder every day.

When Jimmy McScoff the chef came in for a haircut on the fourth day of the voyage, he was sure he could hear a strange thumping noise. To make things worse, the sea had become horribly choppy, so Miss Crabb was struggling to stay steady on her feet. She got halfway through Jimmy McScoff's haircut, then gave up using scissors and spiked it all up with a comb.

He looked at himself in the mirror uncertainly. “I'm not sure this is quite what I asked for…” he said. Then the thumping noise came from down the corridor, louder this time. “What's that?” he asked, trying to get up and have a look.

Miss Crabb pushed him firmly back into the chair. “Not finished yet!” she shrieked.
“We need to put some more hairspray on that lovely top section.” She hurried into the next room, where Gladys Goulash was supposed to be cleaning. Instead she was dipping her finger into a pot of hair dye and tasting it. This, dear reader, is a dangerous and deadly thing to do, and you should never try it at home. Ever.

“Get in that room and make some noise,” Miss Crabb hissed, dragging Gladys away from the hair dye. “The chef can hear banging from down the corridor. You need to distract him. Put on your music and do some dancing.”

“Dancing? I can't do dancing!” said Gladys. “You know how I feel about exercise. I haven't done any for years.”

“Do it, turnip brain!” Miss Crabb grabbed Gladys Goulash's arm and hauled her back
into the other room. She grinned at Jimmy McScoff, showing her yellow teeth. “My colleague will now perform a traditional dance for you,” said Miss Crabb.

“Look, I haven't got time for this,” said Jimmy McScoff. He tried to stand up again, but Miss Crabb pushed him back down. “She'd be so insulted if you left,” she said smoothly, patting him on the arm. “It's only polite to stay.”

Miss Crabb jabbed at the CD player and Gladys's
Highland Bagpipe Classics
started playing at top volume.

Dear reader, you may have seen amazing things, either in real life or on TV. Maybe you have seen monsters. Maybe you have seen elephants or sloths. But you have never seen anything like Gladys Goulash dancing on a cruise ship in the middle of a storm.
First she stamped one foot, then the next. Then she whirled her arms around so a strong smell of sweat wafted over to Jimmy McScoff. She jumped up and down, which made the whole room shudder, and then she tried to do a spin and fell on her bum.

The thudding and squealing of the bagpipes meant that Jimmy McScoff completely forgot about the strange thumping noise.

Miss Crabb narrowed her eyes. She would have to shut up Poppy and Pippy for good … before they gave her away.

Back in their cabin, Elspeth, Cassie and Rory were sitting on the floor in a circle. Huge waves crashed against the porthole, and every so often Rory looked outside and gave a shudder. The storm was making the ship lurch from side to side.

“So,” Elspeth said, “this is the plan. I'll go back through the ventilation shaft into Crabb's cabin tomorrow, when we know they're busy in the beauty salon. Rory, you
come with me like last time, to help me get back out again. I'm going to find that recipe if it's the last thing I do!”

“What about me? What can I do?” asked Cassie.

“Well, we've got to rescue Poppy and Pippy, too,” Elspeth said. She thought for a moment. “When Miss Crabb realizes the recipe is missing, she'll probably start charging around looking for it,” Elspeth said. “At that point, you could sneak into Crabb and Goulash's cabin, grab her keys and release Poppy and Pippy from the salon storeroom!”

“Yes!” Cassie said, her eyes bright.

“Great,” said Elspeth. She pulled the newspaper out of her rucksack and handed it to Cassie. “Once you've done that, you'll have to go straight to the captain. Show her
the newspaper as proof and tell her what Miss Crabb and Gladys Goulash are up to.”

Cassie tucked the paper under her arm. “I can do that,” she said, sounding excited. “But what will you do, once you've got the recipe back?”

“As soon as we get the recipe, we'll come back here to our cabin and stay out of sight,” Elspeth said. “Then, when the ship docks in New York, we'll need to sneak off without being seen.”

“But why?” Cassie looked confused. “Once everyone knows that Miss Crabb and Gladys Goulash are criminals, they'll look after you, won't they?”

“The thing is, I don't want to be looked after!” Elspeth explained. “Once I've got the recipe back, I need to find my parents. I don't trust grown-ups to help me. If they
get involved, they'll put me in some horrible place for children, which would probably be even worse than the Pandora Pants School for Show-offs. Then they'd take over the searching and not let me do anything. I can't let that happen!”

As she spoke, Elspeth realized that Rory was looking very serious. “Rory, are you OK?” she asked.

Rory gulped and nodded. “Just a bit seasick. It's a dangerous plan, Elspeth,” he said, “but I trust you. Count me in.”