Dream Paris (36 page)

“They told me to keep this a secret from you. I was to give this to your mother when we found her.”

It was a long, white envelope, sealed. On the front was written, in large black letters,
FAO Mrs Margaret Sinfield.

“I’m sorry, Anna.”

He couldn’t meet my eyes. My mother took the envelope and held it in both hands.

“Mother?” She didn’t reply. She was looking at Francis, who was looking at the floor, a red flush rising from his neck.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I said. I couldn’t keep the hurt from my voice. But that wasn’t the worst thing. The worst thing was the gradually dawning realisation that I wasn’t as clever as I thought I was. No. That wasn’t the worst thing. The worst thing was that yet again I’d started to trust Francis, to regard him as a decent guy, and yet again he’d betrayed that trust.

“Well? Aren’t you going to open the letter, Mother? Don’t you want to know what’s in it?”

She smiled at me kindly. Patronisingly.

“I don’t need to open it, dear. I know what it will be. It will be a letter asking me to help out British interests.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because that’s what I’d do. I’m their woman inside Dream Paris. They’ll want me to help them.”

“To do what?”

“Oh, Anna! There’s a revolution here. There’s been a revolution about to take place for two hundred years. You know what it means when there’s a revolution?”

“It means that people have had enough. They’re fighting for their freedom.”

I felt foolish as soon as I said the words.

“Don’t talk such nonsense. Revolution means that power is up for grabs. It means that the rulers have lost their grip and that everyone with an interest in power is moving in to take it.”

“No, it means that the people have risen…”

“Anna! All that happens in a revolution is what happens in any battle: the common people are sent in to fight and be killed whilst the rulers watch from the sidelines.”

“No! People fight because they believe what they’re fighting for is right!”

“
Fools
fight.”

I could see the look on Francis’s face. He was one of the fools. That’s what she was saying.

“The wise stand at the back and send the foolish in to fight for them. You see the same thing played out in the abattoir once a week. A group of people standing around shouting ‘mine!’ And now the British Government has a found a path into the Dream World they want to shout ‘mine!’ loud enough to drown out the sound of the Dream World shouting ‘mine!’ back at them.”

“No! How do you know that?”

“Francis has a line all the way from London to Dream Paris. There’ll be British soldiers marching down that line even now, coming here to stake Britain’s claim.”

“But what’s that got to do with you?”

“That’s what the letter will explain. I have power here, I work with the free china dolls. I have the pension funds of people back home. I’ve got the contracts of some of the workers back in the manufactories…”

“Open the letter.”

“I will, Anna. When you’re gone.”

“Now!”

“I told you not to come here. I knew that you’d react like this. And I didn’t want people knowing where I was. The
Banca di Primavera
wants the things I took from it when I broke free of its control. They’re looking to call in their debts.”

I had a sudden image of my mother frozen in place, eyes gazing at nothing, the breeze stirring her hair, just like the china dolls I’d seen on my way here. I might have whimpered. I don’t know. Francis took my hand. I shook it free. I didn’t want the sympathy of the man who’d twice betrayed me.

“How did the government know you’d be able to help?” I asked. “What if you’d been trapped in some workhouse somewhere?”

“Our sort of people never end up trapped in workhouses, Anna. You, me, Madame Joubert, Monsieur Duruflé. We always rise to the top. How many times have I told you that?”

I didn’t know what to say.

“Come on, Anna. Don’t look like that.”

“Like what? What am I supposed to do now?”

“Give me a hug, let me tell you that I love you, and then turn around and go home. There’s a war coming here, and everyone knows it. Get out while you can.”

“How can I get out of here? Everyone is looking for me.”

“They won’t be any more, Anna. Now they’ve found me, you’ve served your purpose. Go home. I’ve arranged for a taxi to take you back to the
Place de la Révolution.
Spend the night there. I’ll have Mr Monagan take you to the railway station in the morning; there’s a train that will take you directly to Dream Calais. And then you can head back to London.”

“This all seems very organised.”

“Of course it is! Oh, Anna, I still love you. I want to look after you! I’m trying to do what’s best. I’ve had people looking out for you. I knew you were coming.”

They all did. They’d all seen me coming. Every last one of them.

THE WOMEN IN FRANCIS’S LIFE

I
FELT LIKE
a child. Like I’d been wandering round in the adult world, wearing my mother’s shoes and clothes, pretending to be a grown up whilst everyone smiled and nodded and said what a big girl I was. And all the time everyone had been laughing at me.

“I’m sorry,” said Francis. “If there’s anything I can do…”

“I don’t want anything from you!”

Everyone in the corridor turned and stared at us. Identical clerks with identical suits and identically parted hair, all gazing with eyes opened wide in astonishment at my outburst. I didn’t care.

“How do you get out of this place, anyway?” I snapped. “Why can’t they put up signs?”

“There’s a
Sortie
sign there,” said Francis.

“I wasn’t speaking to you!”

“Sorry.”

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me about the envelope!”

“I was ordered not to!”

“And you always do what you’re told!”

“I follow orders.”

“I order you to be quiet!”

He did as he was told. I blanked him out. Tears of anger and humiliation blurred my vision as I pushed my way through the corridors, pushed my way past all of the ordered revolutionaries pushing paper for the good of their fellow men, out of the doors, out into the bright sunlight. Wire had settled in a spider web across the wide pavement. There were people dotted around it in clusters, following it back home. My mother was right. People needed lines to follow, people needed direction. People rarely thought for themselves. Who did think for themselves? Our sort of people. No. That wasn’t true.

Mr Monagan was waiting by his coffee truck. He waved to us frantically.

“Miss Anna! Mr Francis! Hurry! Into the truck! I’ll get you back to safety!”

“Will you? Will you really, Mr Monagan?” I gazed at him, at his open, honest face. Was he too good to be true? “Tell, me, are you a spy, Mr Monagan?”

“Me? A spy?” His lower lip wobbled. “Why would you say that, Miss Anna? All I want to do is help.”

“That’s very good of you, Mr Monagan. Help who?”

“You, Miss Anna!”

“Why? Why would you want to help me? What are you doing here, Mr Monagan?”

“I’ve come to collect you.”

“My mother said she’d arranged a taxi.”

“I was worried about you! I was here, waiting for you!”

That innocent face! Could it possibly be an act?

“Come on, Miss Anna! We need to get off now! The Pierrots will be looking for us!”

I glared at him, trying to make up my mind about him, the sun burning on my head, the people milling around the square. Francis spoke up

“Anna, do you want my opinion?”

“No, not really.”

That didn’t stop him giving it.

“You saw her, Anna. Your mother wasn’t asking for help. There was nothing about her that seemed unhappy with her situation. The only thing that she wanted was for you not to be here.”

“Thanks! So you’re saying my mother doesn’t want me?”

“I wasn’t saying that! I was saying that her biggest worry was the fact that you
were
here. Listen, Anna, we’ve done what we came to do. We’ve found your mother. We’ve done what your fortune said. Now it’s time to go home.”

“What about my father?”

“What about him? Anna, your mother said it: he’s gone. He could be anywhere in the Dream World. We don’t even know where to start looking. Come on, let’s get in the van.”

“Stop telling me what to do!”

“I’m not telling you. I’m giving you advice.”

“Yeah! You’ve done your job, you’ve delivered your envelope. That’s what you were really here for, wasn’t it?”

“No! The envelope was secondary to the main objective. Protecting you.”

“Really? Is that right?”

“Yes! Anna, I know that you’re upset, but you don’t have to accuse me of lying, too.”

I was fed up. Angry, in fact. Everyone knew what was best for me. Everyone had an opinion. Even the bodyguard.

“Why should I believe you?”

“Because it’s true,” he said. “What are you going to do, Anna? Get me to read your truth script? Tell you what, go on, do it. I’ll read it and you can ask me. I’ve got nothing to hide.”

I was already fumbling for my wallet.

“But I’ll tell you this…” His gaze travelled to Mr Monagan, then back to me. “You’re never going to have real friends if you have to resort to that. You’ll never live an adult life while you hope for magic to solve your problems. Magic is for kids who don’t want to face up to the hard parts of growing up.”

I was already unrolling the script.

“Give me that!” He read it, the light playing on his face. I felt my stomach sinking. I’d made a mistake, and I knew it. I’d held the moral high ground right up until this point. And now, by resorting to this scroll, I’d lost it. But now I’d started I was on stuck on this road…

“Go on then, ask me a question!”

“Whose side are you on, Francis?”

“Yours.”

“What did you know about the contents of the envelope?”

“Nothing.”

My heart sank.

“Happy now, Anna? Now will you listen to my advice? We should leave now. I really don’t think it’s wise to stand out here for long. Let’s get in Mr Monagan’s van and get back to safety.”

I felt like a silly little girl, well out of her depth.

“Do you know what, Francis? I’m really not that interested in your advice at the moment.”

I shouldn’t have been surprised at the anger in his face. I’d called him a liar, I’d forced him to read the truth script. But I should have realised that I wasn’t the only one who felt hurt, who wanted to hurt others.

“Look,” he said, in his oh-so-reasonable voice. “We’re all tired. We’ve all had some excitement today. This isn’t the time.”

We’re all tired.
I hated that. I hated the way he was trying to depersonalise everything. Him, acting so mature, so fucking
adult
, like only he knew how to behave. Him, the sexist pig, the man who didn’t have the guts to stand up to his friends. So I did the worst possible thing. I made it personal.

“Listen, Francis, I’ve just been told by my mother to go away. You’ll excuse me if I feel just a little bit pissed off. So I’d really appreciate it if you could do one little thing for me? Could you do that? Yes? Keep your fucking opinions on how to behave to yourself.”

“You’re shouting,” said Mr Monagan, urgently. “People are looking at you.”

I ignored him. I was almost oblivious to the crowd of people gathering around us, watching.

“Look at the way you were staring at Dominique this morning! Look at the way you behave around women. And you’re a father!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Always looking, flirting, judging. Treating women like objects!”

“No, I don’t…”

“Don’t pretend you’re any different to any other man, Francis. I heard you back at the barracks, that first night I met you. You said that you’d give me one. What was the phrase you used?
Old enough to bleed, old enough to breed
?”

That got him. He blushed. He actually blushed.

“You don’t deny it, then?”

He waved his hands, he stammered. Totally out of his depth, unsure what to say.

“Listen… Anna. Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for you to… that wasn’t for you to hear.”

“Obviously.”

“I mean, that was just men talking…”

“Oh, yeah. Man talk.”

“No. I don’t mean that. Well, I mean. Look, I didn’t mean it. I was just joining in. You weren’t supposed to hear that. I just meant you were an attractive young woman. And you are.”

I was icy.

“I’m not defined by my looks. What you said was rude and demeaning and reduced me to nothing more than a sex object.”

“I know that. I said I was sorry. And I’ve never been rude to you, have I?”

“Oh, not to my face! But I wonder about the things you say when you think I’m not listening.”

Mr Monagan was looking more and more uncomfortable at this exchange.

“Oh, Miss Anna! I’ve never heard Mr Francis be anything other than a perfect gentleman!”

“Really? I wonder what Michelle would think if she knew how you’d been behaving?”

That got to him.

“Michelle? What do you mean?” He actually looked worried. Good.