I took another deep gulp of air, moved a tiny step and gripped his warm hand with my clammy one.
“See, that’s great.” The encouragement in his voice began to sooth my erratic nerves. “Now another step. We’re just going to look over the side.”
Tyson observed in steely silence but didn’t interfere.
I took the step, my legs shaking like a paint can in a mixing machine.
“Good,” Eli’s voice soothed.
“Nice job,” Tyson said.
Being treated like a child by these two confident guys was humiliating, to say the least.
I let out a sigh. Maybe I could do this. I leaned forward just enough to see part of the trap far below. My head spun. It looked like a
frickin
’ postage stamp on the enormous stage floor.
No way could I make that! I whipped my hand away and ran to press myself against the safety of the back wall.
Eli huffed, his patience running out. Tyson turned to Jason, who had stayed in the shadows off to the side this whole time. “Why don’t you head out,” he said in a quiet tone. Jason gave me an encouraging smile and left.
“That’s okay. Come back over here,” Eli said his words a little clipped.
I stared at him, unwilling to budge.
“Come on, let’s try it again.” He waved me over, patience growing thin.
I didn’t move. My heart pounded in my chest. They both kept staring at me like I was some
freakazoid
.
“You have to try,” Eli implored.
I shook my head, no. “I can't do it.”
I prayed the clock would move faster so we’d have to leave. I locked my frightened eyes with Eli’s frustrated ones.
Eli huffed, turned to Tyson and threw his hands in the air.
“Let’s take a break,” Tyson said.
“No! This is unacceptable!” Eli erupted. “Willow, it’s time to put your big girl pants on and get this done. We’re running out of time.”
“Eli, I can not do this! Back off!” Tears threatened.
I would not cry. I would not cry.
“Of course you can, you just need a little tough love.” He took my upper arm with gentle hands and began to pull me away from the wall.
“No! Don’t touch me!” I screamed.
He and Tyson stared at me as if I’d lost it, which I pretty much had. Eli released my arm, but didn’t let up. “Willow, you have to do this.”
“No, I don’t!” I snapped.
“Eli,” Tyson interrupted. “That’s enough.”
“Do you have any idea how many people are counting on you? Including me? You have to do it so you don't screw up the show. There's going to be a casting agent here. What’s he and the other New York people going to think?” Eli said
,
all pissed off, with his hands planted on his hips.
“I don’t give a flip what other people think. I’m not going to do…it!”
I couldn’t even
say
“jump off”.
What a coward
.
“Why?” he demanded. “You’ll do every possible cheerleading trick, no matter how dangerous, but you won’t try one puny fall
!?
” Eli yelled.
“No. I won’t!” I yelled.
“So what’s the deal? You scared?”
“Eli.” Tyson tried to warn him off; Eli ignored him. We’d passed the point of no return.
“Fine! I’m scared. Now you know, I’m afraid, so I guess that makes me a failure. I’m out of here.”
I glared at
Eli,
he shoved his stubborn chin out and glared back. I tried to move past him, but he blocked my way. I’d have to walk near the edge, and he knew I wouldn’t go there.
“You know that every time you get scared you run away. Did you know that?” he spat.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Tyson shake his head in useless frustration.
“You did it three years ago with me, you did it with cheerleading, and you’re doing it now,” he said with open disgust. “I’m so sick and tired of you jerking me around.”
I gulped. Everything he said was true, but he had me cornered, and all I cared about was escaping that rooftop set.
“This time your spoiled little girl act is affecting more than just me. If you don’t do this fall, you’re screwing it up for everyone!
It’s
time to fucking grow up!” he screamed.
“You’re an asshole! I hate you!” I lashed out.
“I’m not the one switching directions like a ping pong ball. One minute you’re freezing me out, the next you want to hook up, and now you hate my guts. Make up your mind!”
“Go to hell!” I screamed and shoved him out of my way and didn’t care if he fell off or not.
“Right back at you!” Eli retaliated.
I caught Tyson’s look of helpless defeat as I stormed past. Nothing I could do about it now. I ran down the steps, bolted past the stage manager to my dressing room, grabbed my bag and jacket and flew out the stage door.
Afraid Eli or Tyson would try to catch up to
me,
I ran the first few blocks up State Street. I needed as much distance
between me and the gaping hole in the stage floor
. Once I got past the State Capitol, lit up in all its glory, my adrenaline began to slow and left me shaking like a leaf. I pulled out my phone and called home.
“Dad.” My teeth chattered with emotion. “Can you come get me?”
“Willow, are you okay? Where’s Eli?” His normally laid back voice slipped into protective dad mode.
“I’m fine. I just need a ride home. I’m on Willy Street.” I rushed along. My gait was long and quick.
“On my way.” He clicked off without another word. I pictured him bolting out the door to the car without a coat. He was my hero.
Five minutes later, the crooked headlights of our car came around the corner, and I waved Dad down.
I climbed in and leaned my head back on the headrest, thankful to be safely away from the threats at the theatre.
“You and Eli have a fight?” Dad asked, while I buckled up.
I took one look at him. “Oh, Daddy.” And started to cry.
He leaned over and hugged me. I felt five years old again, and that was fine with me. Those were good years.
“Tell me what’s going on,” he said as he pulled away from the curb.
And so I did. I told him the whole
story,
from why I really quit cheer to how hard it had been with everyone so mad at me and how terrified I am to do that fall. Dad drove around aimlessly while I spilled my guts. Then I realized we were at the McDonalds drive through. I never noticed him pull in; I was so busy blabbing.
He handed me a chocolate shake.
“We don’t need to tell her. It’ll be our secret, and I’ll hide the evidence.”
I took a couple huge mouthfuls and consoled myself with creamy cold chocolate heaven. As I drowned my troubles with ice cream, I contemplated my mess.
“Dad, I can’t do it.”
“What do you want to do? ” he asked as he pulled out and continued our wandering drive.
“What do you mean?”
“It’s up to you. It’s a free world. You can do anything you want. So what do you want to do?”
“I don’t want to do that fall.” My hand became cold from gripping my shake. “I really want to do the show, but I seriously don’t want to do the fall.”
“Okay, so don’t do it. So what?”
Easy for him to say.
It wasn’t his butt on the line.
“But it will ruin the show! And Tyson has been so great. I don’t want to do anything to hurt him. He’s done so much for me.”
“Maybe it will hurt the show and maybe not. This Tyson sounds like a pretty smart guy.”
“But it’s such a terrible thing to do to him.”
“Then don’t do it.”
“You are so aggravating. You make it sound like it’s not a big deal, but it is!”
He smiled in that
I’m so wise and you’re so young and naïve
way. “Can I offer some advice?”
“Sure, but I might not take it.” I cocked my head sideways and smirked.
Dad turned onto a side street and drove slower.
“Do you remember when you were little and I worked at the Ad Agency? He glanced over at me.
“You were never home.”
“That’s right. I wanted to make a living by creating ceramic art, but I was afraid to quit my job. I didn’t want to let your mom or you and Breezy down. I didn’t know how we’d pay our bills. Finally, I realized life is too precious to spend ignoring the things you care about.” He looked over at me.
“It’s the best thing you ever did,” I said.
“Let’s look at when you quit dance because Eli wanted to lock lips with you.”
“Dad!” I nearly spewed my shake across the dashboard.
“Why were you afraid?”
“I was afraid I’d get hurt, and we wouldn’t be friends anymore.”
“And what happened?”
“I ran and was hurt and lost his friendship anyway.”
“And what about cheer? Why were you afraid?”
“Because I didn’t want to die!”
“Good reason.” He smiled. “So you quit and didn’t give yourself a chance to see how it might go? What was the result?” He slowly drove past the parked cars.
“I lost my best friend and the squad hates me.”
“And they didn’t make it to nationals either. Hmm. My point is that each time you turned your back when you got scared, you got hurt and hurt others. However, you also found some new amazing things. That’s how you found cheer and Jilly, and then it’s how you found Dream Chaser and hooked up with Eli and met the amazing Tyson Scott!” Dad said it like a game show announcer. “I can’t wait to meet this guy and see if he’s half as wonderful as you say.”
I grinned slow and sly. “Oh yeah, he is.”
“Back to the point. Whatever decision you make is okay. Running away from your fears will be painful, and you will probably end up hurting some people, but something new will evolve from it. The world isn’t static. Energy is always moving and changing. You and your decisions are just part of that energy. As you decide what to do, be true to your authentic self.”
“Yes, Oprah.”
“That was Dr. Phil.” He smiled and pulled into the driveway. “Does that help?”
“Kind of.”
As we walked to the front door, I noticed a familiar SUV at the curb. My chest tightened.
“Looks like we have company,” Dad said and eyed me knowingly.
“Uh oh.” I dropped behind Dad.
The lights inside shone bright despite the late hour. Dad glanced back at me. “I wonder who this could be?”
I let him walk in first.
My human shield.
“Hi Honey! I’m so glad you two are back. We have company.” Mom nearly oozed with joy as Tyson stood up from our afghan-draped couch with a half dozen of Breezy’s fake vampire teeth scattered on the coffee table before him. His leather coat was unzipped with a designer scarf thrown carelessly around his neck and those jeans that made all the girls salivate. His eyes sparkled with calm warmth even though inside he must have been freaking out.
“Joe, honey, meet Tyson Scott.” Mom introduced them, biting back a smile.
Tyson reached out and there in my screwy house my hippy dad and the suave New York
hottie
shook hands.
Weird
.
“Nice to finally meet you,” Dad said. “We’ve heard so much about you.”
“My pleasure. I hope what you’ve heard isn’t too bad. I’ve been pushing the kids pretty hard. Let me say you have an extraordinarily talented daughter.”
“Thank you. We think she’s pretty special.” Dad put his arm around my shoulder for a squeeze. He barely concealed his smirk when he glanced at me. I could read his mind.
Ha
ha
! You’re back in the hot seat. No running now!
“Tyson has been telling me about the show.” Mom said in a
sing-song
way. “Sounds like it’s going to be wonderful. I had no idea all the detail that goes into it.”
OMG, Mom was flirting with my director. Gag.
While they chatted like BFF’s, I tried to sink into the braided rug.
“It’s getting late, and we have another big day tomorrow. If it’s alright, I’d like to talk with Willow for a couple of minutes,” Tyson said.