Drawn Together (25 page)

22

She was up long before dawn. She’d tried to go back to sleep, but that hadn’t worked so she’d carefully gotten out of bed and moved into the main room. The hotel had a perfunctory gym so she got dressed, dashed off a note to Jonah in case he woke up, and headed down.

The nice thing about hotels at four in the morning is that they’re deserted. So she didn’t have to share the machines with anyone as she warmed up or even when she set the treadmill. She hated running. With all her heart. But it was a good way to deal with all this shit in her head.

That’s where he found her. Her hair in a ponytail, swinging back and forth. Sweating. She wore headphones as she ran. He used to not know what from. But now that he did, it hurt him to see her this way, even as he knew it was necessary.

He got on the one next to hers and started slow. She ignored him awhile, starting and then relaxing when she saw it was him. Her gaze had been blurred. Most likely in the past where she was a helpless kid with no one to protect her.

The entire trip had been hard on her. When they got back home he planned to help her through with lots of sex, pampering, and a trip to Maui in January after Carrie went back to school. He’d have taken her off right then, but she was anxious to get back to the shop.

He’d spoken briefly to Brody and Erin a few days prior. Erin asked if Raven had gone to any counseling at all and he’d said no, though the doctor had suggested it quite strongly and had given her some basic coping advice. Raven didn’t trust authority. And he understood why. But goddamnit, she needed someone to listen to her in a situation where she didn’t have to worry over burdening someone with her past. He knew she held back with him, trying to protect him.

When he’d first met her he’d thought she was the strongest, most vibrant kick-ass bitch he’d ever laid eyes on. He
knew
that for sure now. So much pain to have shouldered, and she had, mostly alone for nearly all her life. Christ, if all she took away from that was a bitchy exterior and a habit of speaking before she thought about it, the world was lucky. He wasn’t sure how she kept from going nuclear.

He saw on the monitor that she’d run eight miles. Jesus.

He’d only run two, but that was enough. He wanted her to stop. They had a day ahead of them. He turned his machine off and stepped to the rails and down.

She waved and he rolled his eyes, pulling her headphones off. “Come on. We have to check out and then stop and get breakfast before we get on the road.”

She scowled and he grinned. “Oh the first scowl of the day and it’s only five. We may just break records today.”

She took her shower first, coming back out looking marginally better. She’d said her good-byes to her mother the day before so they could leave first thing.

“You’re looking a little scruffy.” She examined him, running her fingertips through the ends of his hair and then over his chin.

“I’ve been short on time to go to the barber.”

She laughed. “Go. Sit over there. Let me take care of you for a change.”

She fiddled around in the bathroom for a while, gathering things until she came out where he’d been waiting.

A bowl of steaming hot water, scissors, his razor, shaving cream and a healthy supply of towels and washcloths were what she placed on the table next to him.

“Don’t worry, I’m a professional.”

He raised a brow and she leaned forward to kiss his forehead. “I learned how to cut hair when I was eight. My aunt has a salon.” She laughed. “‘Salon’ is not really the word for it. It’s in her garage. She does it on the side and the cops ignore it because there are better things to do than roust an old bitch trying to make a buck.”

“My delicate flower.”

“Anyway, so I actually got a job at a real salon when I was fifteen.” She ran her fingers through his hair, which was still wet. “I used to do the men’s side of stuff. Which was practically nonexistent because you must know dudes in small towns like Harperville and Happy Bend go to the barber or let their wives or mothers get out the clippers. But occasionally I’d do a shave and a trim.”

She draped a towel around his neck and massaged his scalp first, making him groan at how good it felt. “I can’t believe you haven’t done this yet. My god, this is fantastic.”

“Less pain than three hours of me jabbing you with ink and needles, hm?”

“You have many talents.”

She continued on, taking up the scissors and a comb. He heard the snip from time to time as she worked, moving around his body easily.

“You’re going to be with me at Christmas.”

“Um, that’s an interesting thing to say while getting a haircut. That’s a first.”

“You’re staying with me and we’ll have dinner at my house. Just me, you and Carrie. On Christmas Eve anyway. Then my parents have a thing on Christmas Day. A buffet. There are card games and all that sort of thing.”

“Oh delightful. Will Beth be there? I haven’t been kicked in the face in ages.”

He laughed. “I think she’s afraid of you. Or maybe she respects you. Anyway, I promise to keep myself between you.”

“For a lady like her, I think fear and respect are closely tied. You know I hate this stuff, right? All this family stuff and I have to be nice and not say the F word. It sucks.”

“But I’m there. That’s good right?”

“Maybe. Depends on how you compensate me later. I’m going to have to do something with Erin too. I try to avoid it by leaving town that week, but she sees blood in the water. Like a shark. She’s not going to let go until I agree to go eat turkey or whatever. Probably sing carols and make crafts.”

“You should stop acting like you hate it. I see how you are with those kids.”

She tousled his hair, brushing the hairs away from his forehead. “You’ll have to jump back in the shower to really get rid of all the little hairs. Now you need a shave.”

She put a pillow back and he rested against it. “Tip your head back.” And then she placed the warm towels on his face. “Relax, they’re not hot enough to do you any real damage. You have very nice shaving gear. It’s rare. Most dudes use electric shavers or soap.”

“The shaving stuff was a gift from Carrie. I think she liked the brush so much she got the rest for that.”

It felt good to be pampered and so he relaxed, his eyes closed, listening to the sound of her moving nearby. Then her fingers were back in his hair and against his scalp.

“It’s the oil I use. It doesn’t have a girly smell, I promise. It’s good for you.”

Like he’d argue? It felt so damned fabulous, her firm, strong kneading touch against his scalp. He’d nearly fallen back to sleep by the time she stepped back, removing the towel from his face.

“Now.”

She climbed into his lap, wrapping her legs around his waist. “This wasn’t part of what I learned. Just in case you were worried. I like being close and since we’re all alone, I can get
really
close.” Her smile did wonders for his cock. Nearly as much as her pussy being so close and her weight in his lap.

She lathered up the brush and made small circles on his face to distribute it. Then she would shave a bit, clean off the razor in the bowl of hot water, use another hot towel to clean him up and start again. Over and over until he relaxed again, letting her minister to him.

He wasn’t sure how long it lasted, only that when she managed to get off his lap, he opened his eyes to find her smiling down at him.

“All done.”

He moved to the bathroom to admire his haircut and the shave. He did look much better and it was special because she’d done it for him.

“I think you need to be my personal barber.”

“Certainly the benefits would be better than the person down at Gene Juarez. Or they’d better be.” She smiled at his reflection and then she got that look he loved so much. “Before you shower again, I should make you extra dirty.” She let her robe slip down off her shoulders to pool at her feet and he was on her in two steps. He grabbed her, moving back to the bed quickly, falling to it still holding her.

He kissed her hungrily, taking in her taste, never getting enough.

She let him lead, though she wrapped her thighs around his waist to hold him close. He had zero complaints with that. Then again, he rarely did when it came to Raven.

“I want you to ride my cock awhile,” he spoke, lips against her neck. “And then, because I’ve wanted it for a while, you’re going to suck me off.”

She shivered and he pulled away to look into her face, needing to see if he’d pushed her too far. If it was too soon.

Clearly it wasn’t either of those things. Her eyes had gone half-lidded and her mouth parted just slightly, lips wet from his kisses.

He rolled and she shimmied down. “I don’t want you suited up.” She slid her pussy over his cock. She’d very seriously asked him to take care of getting tested and he had. She had as well. The world had changed since he’d dated, before Charlotte. But it had been the right thing to do. “I’m on the pill and I want to feel you.”

He nodded and she got to her knees to guide his cock to her pussy and slide down, achingly slow, onto him. Hot. So hot he nearly lost his mind and came right then. He got his control back as he held her, his fingers digging into the flesh and muscle at her hips.

He watched as she licked her fingers and played them against her nipples and then down to her cunt, spreading her labia open with one hand to expose her clit and that hoop.

“So fucking sexy.”

She smiled, so open and beautiful, even as it was carnal.

And his.

“I love to see you like this. So sexy it blows my mind. There’s never been anyone like you.” He reached up, grabbing her breasts and tugging on her nipples. They’d left the chain behind, along with all his favorite toys. The last week had been exhausting for both of them. But they’d recharged each time they came back to this room and closed the door.

He learned more about her than how wet she got when he used the paddle or how she squirmed and sort of squealed when he plumped her clit between his fingertips while he fucked her from behind. This week she’d let him help. This week he’d learned about the spine of steel that made up the core of the woman he loved.

He didn’t need chains or paddles for that part. But he sure as hell planned to use them when they got back home.

“Can I come?” Her voice halted a few times before she got all the words out. From the way her inner muscles fluttered he knew she was close.

“Yes.”

She kept her gaze on his face but he alternated between her eyes and her fingers on her pussy. When she climaxed, her head tipped back as she groaned. A pretty flush worked up her body from her thighs, over her breasts, up her neck. Her nipples hardened impossibly more, darkened.

In one move he grabbed her hips and pulled her up, off his cock. “Suck me.”

She lay on her back as he knelt next to her, running his cock over her mouth. She opened her eyes. Lazy, pleasure-stunned. Her tongue darted out, slid against his skin.

“Hands above your head. I’ll put my cock where I want it to go.”

She whimpered and obeyed, her gaze still on his face.

“Yes, like that.” He tapped his cock against her lips and she opened, taking him inside. Christ, that was good. He pulled out again and tapped; she opened, repeating her last move. This time she turned her head a little to the side, taking him in deeper as he fucked her mouth in earnest.

Her fingers gripped the blankets as she moaned around him, bringing him right up to the edge. He let himself stay in her mouth a few strokes more before pulling back, chest heaving.

“Open your legs.”

She did and he found his way to her cunt again, sliding into that glorious, slick heat. She wrapped those long legs around him again, holding on, rolling her hips to meet his thrusts.

He wasn’t long for it and he dipped down to kiss her, tasting that combination of his skin and her honey. He groaned and came so hard his teeth seemed to tingle.

“We both need to shower now.” He winked, kissing her again, helping her to stand.

“It’s worth it.”

23

He was used to her now, he realized. Used to her in his bed in the mornings. Used to her in his car as he drove. She was all slow sensuality, and now that they were back on her home turf, her accent had deepened, which he really found hot.

She’d pointed out that she knew the way to her tiny little hometown better than he would. And then he pointed out that she drove like a maniac and he liked being alive, thankyouverymuch. She’d snorted but got into the passenger side of the rental and curled up in her seat.

“Fine, but I get to control the music.”

Which wasn’t a hardship.

She hooked her iPod into the car stereo system and hit shuffle. Ahh, Frank Ocean. Just the thing as they hurtled down the road toward a childhood she’d packed away and left at the back of her closet nearly twenty years ago.

He didn’t talk to fill the silence, instead he relaxed into the driver’s seat and headed in the right direction. He’d been so patient with her it had been a total miracle to her. He didn’t want anything from her but everything. As opposed to men and women wanting her body, or to control her choices, or to demand she unload her whys and why-nots on their schedule.

Jonah Warner wanted her totally and utterly. And that included her past. But he trusted her to reveal it in her time. A gift from this pushy, bossy man who drove, not because he was worried about how she drove, but because he liked to be in control. And she didn’t care about driving one way or the other enough to tussle with him over it. It was most likely the sex chemicals still pulsing through her system. But whatever worked.

She hugged her coffee to her chest and sat back. Telling him things was good. For so long she’d held on to the details of her life because she hadn’t trusted anyone to hear them and not judge her. Hell, they judged her before they heard the story, so why bother? The telling made her vulnerable and she’d never wanted to be at anyone’s mercy ever again.

But with him there was an unburdening of sorts. He wanted to know her with such an intense hunger that was patient at the same time. And when she spoke the words, they had less power over her.

“My first vacation I didn’t know what to do.”

He kept his gaze on the road, but she knew he was listening.

“I had settled in Los Angeles enough to have rented a small mother-in-law apartment over a friend’s garage. He and his wife were nice people. She, the wife, left me things on the porch. Bread sometimes. Extra fruit and vegetables from their backyard garden. They took a week’s vacation every six months. To the Grand Canyon or to Glacier National Park. So I thought, why not me? I planned a road trip to San Francisco. Just a weekend’s stay. I loved it. So I started doing them all the time. I loved all the places to stop. I loved all the pictures I could take. I’d stop at those stands . . . Have you been on the 5 from Los Angeles to the Bay Area?”

“Yes. I know which ones you mean.”

“So I’d stop there and buy stuff and then when I got to San Francisco I’d have food for a while. I’d wander down to whatever part of the city I was staying in and I’d eat locally. And then I met Brody and Erin and I decided to road trip up to Seattle. Brody and I . . . well, you know. Anyway, I managed to house-sit and live in places before escrow closed and after the owners had moved out. Always in my own place. But I liked it up there.”

“What did you think when you flew the first time?”

“I’m not a fan of airplanes. Enclosed spaces for really long periods of time when I can’t stop and stretch my legs or whatever, it makes me nervous. Plus you know they’re always watching you and so I have to be so careful and it takes the fun out of it. But I have to get on planes to go to Hawaii, so I deal. I just remember seeing all these families and wondering if they realized how awesome it was that they were giving their kids memories.”

“Clearly you’ve never been on a road trip with a kid in the car.” He chuckled.

“Oh, I know it’s a pain sometimes and there’s a lot of ‘are we there yet’ and stuff. But every time you go on vacation you’re putting your energy onto your family or the people you travel with. You’re stepping from your everyday life with these other people. Like now. I mean, this isn’t a vacation, but I’m going to remember the time I’ve spent here with you. The way you look when you wake up in the mornings. How you talk to waitresses at diners. You’re a flirt.”

“Hey, my flirting got you pie when they thought they were out.”

“That’s true. You do make the ladies go googly-eyed. Anyway, travel is my way of saying a big old fuck-you to my childhood and all the people in that town who told me over and over again I’d never be anything.”

She’d wondered for most of her life why they’d all treated her the way they had. What she’d done to them to engender such nastiness. She told herself it didn’t matter, and by that point it didn’t because she’d made something out of herself. Maybe because they were so shitty to her and she had to make a point.

Travel taught you things. Travel exposed you to new people and other perspectives. It broadened your life and helped you cope when things got complicated. It was one of her favorite things.

“Only now you don’t travel to run away.”

She paused for a long time, thinking about it. She’d wanted to deny it immediately. But really, he was right. Her lifestyle had been one of never staying in one place for very long. It had kept her from putting down roots and from getting run over by people.

“You’re very smart.”

“I am. I’m also really good at eating pussy.”

She laughed, reaching out to run her hand down his arm. To reassure herself that he was really there. That he’d come for her. Because he loved her.

They stopped for lunch an hour or so out of Happy Bend and he noticed she only picked at her food. He’d considered suggesting she just leave it all alone. After all, she had a good life now. She knew where her mother was. What did it matter that her aunt had lied?

But it did matter and he understood that she needed the closure. She had a lot of rage inside. She’d dealt with a lot of the hurt and disappointment. Though he supported her getting therapy when they returned to process more. But the anger? He knew it was there. The questions regarding why they’d not only lied, but why they’d been so harsh with how they’d done it. All that remained and she needed to be an adult woman confronting her aunt about it.

“You’re going to . . . The town isn’t like a television small town.” She’d gotten very quiet when they’d approached Happy Bend.

“I’m going to what?”

“Be horrified. I am. It was a shithole then; I imagine it’s worse of a shithole now.”

“Be that as it may, it has nothing to do with you. You have nothing to be ashamed of.”

“Says the guy who grew up with a view of Lake Washington out his window every morning before he went to private school.”

“Yes, I did have those things and I’m grateful for them. And yet, it has no bearing on you, or how I feel about you.”

“I hate when you’re calm when I’m being a dick.”

He laughed. “I know, beautiful, that’s why I’m doing it.”

“I knew it! Needling me to get me riled up.”

“You’re hot when you’re riled up.” And she wasn’t thinking too much on the mess they were about to face.

“Get off here. Head east when you get to those railroad tracks.”

He followed her directions, getting farther and farther from the main roads.

“Pretty countryside around here.” Lots of trees and green stuff.

“Yeah, that’s one thing.”

“Hey, it’s going to be fine. I’m here. Always. Okay?”

She blew out a breath. “It’s been a long time since I’ve been here.”

“You have a home now. In Seattle. This is just a place you did some shitty years of your life when you had no other choice. It formed who you are now, but it doesn’t need to have any more power over you than it already does. I know this is easy for me to say. But I believe in you, Raven. I know you better than any of these assholes ever will. You’re worth a thousand of them. No matter how hard they tried to fuck you over. No matter why.”

“Don’t make me cry again or I’ll be mad.”

He turned his attention back to the road.

“About two miles or so. There’ll be, or there used to be, a gas station at a crossroads. Country Road Fourteen. Go right.”

She hadn’t lied about how horrible the place was. Rusted-out cars and farm equipment overgrown by weeds and berry bramble. The houses were run-down. It was more than poverty; he’d seen plenty of that. It was that the place seemed to have a dearth of hope.

“Go up to Copperhead and take a right.”

There was a tiny grocery store with a few cars in the parking lot. A post office.

“One stoplight. But we have a post office.”

He followed the directions.

“Up there. The white house with the blue truck in the driveway. That’s my aunt’s place.”

He turned around and parked so they could easily leave when the time came. She was pale, but otherwise holding it together.

“You don’t have to do this, you know.”

“I do. Now come around and open my door like a gentleman.”

He grinned and kissed her quickly. “I love you.”

She shook her head, wearing a confused smile. “I know and I really don’t know why. But I love you too. So there’s that.”

He got out and opened her door. She wore jeans and a sweater with some sneakers. Nothing fancy. She’d said if she’d worn a dress her aunt would have accused her of putting on airs or thinking she was too good.

He kept a hand on the small of her back as they walked up to the front porch. A woman appeared there, one who bore a strong resemblance to Lena.

“What do you want?”

“Hello, Aunt Lorene.”

The older woman peered through the screen door with a start. “Raven?”

“Yes. This is Jonah. I’d like to talk to you.”

Suspicion was already on her face and it only doubled. She didn’t open the door.

“You do? What about then?”

“Wouldn’t you rather take this inside instead of on the porch?” Jonah asked smoothly.

Raven wanted to laugh because the situation was so ridiculous she had to. But she kept it together.

“You’re just fine where you are. Why are you here?”

“I’ve been to Oklahoma City. To see my mother.”

Even through the screen door Raven noted how much more pale her aunt got.

“Why did you lie? To me and to her?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Sure you do. You told me she had died. Of a drug overdose. You told me she died in the gutter.”

She clenched her fists and reminded herself she was better than her instincts. Better than the desire to rip that door off the rusty hinges and beat the hell out of this woman who’d harmed her so much. “And then you told her I’d been murdered. Me, instead of poor Missy Thompson. She tried to kill herself multiple times after that. I know you know that. Why?”

“I don’t have to say anything to you.”

Raven took a step closer. “No, you don’t. But you will because you owe me that much. You made this mess and you’ll tell me why.”

“I did it for your own good.” Lorene’s voice was small, petulant.

“Come again?”

“She couldn’t take care of you. She done left you how many times? It was best that you just stopped believing she’d come back and save you. You needed to accept your place in life and you wouldn’t until you had no other options.”

Jonah put an arm around her, restraining her, but also comforting her.

“My place in life? What place is that?”

“She thought she could go off to the city and be something else. But she was a country girl born and bred. She thought she was better than all her kin and look where it got her!”

“Look where your behavior got me! I never lived in a single place longer than six months from the time I was three until I was fourteen years old. I was raped. I was beaten up. Not a single person but Mama Eula ever told me I was loved. How is that my place?”

“Reaching above yourself would only bring you heartache.”

“I ate heartache breakfast, lunch and dinner for years of my life. Years.”

“I didn’t know about your cousin. I didn’t know he’d hurt you. I just . . . Do you want to be like her? Like me?”