Authors: Lilliana Anderson
“I’ll call you,” he says again.
“Ok,” I laugh, standing at the door and watching him until he has driven out of sight.
“Someone seems very happy with herself,” Kensi says as I shut the door behind me. I can’t seem to stop smiling. “Have a good night?”
“I did. The best.” I grin, moving toward the couch where she’s sitting. “Oh, hello,” I say as Aaron, who’s sitting on the opposite couch comes into view. Suddenly I feel like I’ve been caught out, as if what I just did with
Damien was wrong.
“Hey. Can we talk?” Aaron asks
, rising from his seat.
“Sure,” I say,
a nervousness flitting through my stomach as I take him outside to sit in our small courtyard.
“I tried to call you last night because I wasn’t going to make it back here for that party, but I couldn’t get through.”
“Sorry, I…”
“I know – you decided to
go to the city. Kensi told me when I dropped around this morning to apologise for standing you up.”
“Aaron. I’m sorry. I was supposed to text you while we were on the train.”
“No big deal I guess. In a way, we stood each other up.”
An awkwardness settles between us as we sit in the sun of the late morning, listening to
the birds chirping around us. My eyes drift over to Aaron, my friend, and a man who holds a sizeable chunk of my heart, as the sun lights his features, glowing off his light hair.
He wears a pair of khaki cargo shorts
, and a white t-shirt, displaying a black and white image of a skull in a moon, with a pirate ship in the foreground. Crossing one leg over the other, ankle to knee, he lets out his breath before returning his gaze to me.
“I
know you were at Damien’s, Etta,” he states.
I freeze. Not sure what it is I should say to him.
“Jeremy saw you get home with him.”
“Oh…”
My chest seems to clench as my head starts to ache. I don’t want to hurt Aaron. I couldn’t bear it if he exited my life. He means too much to me.
“Are you
… seeing him now?” he asks, although I’m pretty sure he’d rather it if he never knew.
“Uh… yeah… I am. I’m sorry Aaron. I know you thought…”
“That you and I would finally have a chance? Yeah, I did. But it looks like I’ve lost out to him yet again,” he states.
“
What do you mean?”
“You know Bec?
That girl we saw him with when I moved in. She and I dated for a while during first year and well… Damien decided he wanted her. Some guys just take what they want, while the rest of us are left standing there wondering what the hell just happened.”
“Did they start dating?” I ask, wondering if once again
, Damien has misled me.
“No,” he says, shaking his head as he creases his brow. “
Damien doesn’t date. They seemed to become fuck buddies. She really changed though, became a little promiscuous. I don’t know… she wasn’t like that before. There’s just something about that guy. He ruins people.”
“I don’t think he means to
.”
“Just be careful Etta. I’ve never known him to have a girlfriend. It’s just a whole string of women who
m he uses and moves on from. I can’t tell you how many of them I’ve found crying in the hallway because he won’t see them anymore.” He shakes his head. “I just don’t get why women like him so much. I mean, he just seems like such a jerk.”
“
He’s just… different,” I try to explain. Although at the same time, I feel that doubt creep back inside my soul as I worry that Damien isn’t being honest with me – that ultimately, he’s just going to move on to the next pretty girl who turns his head.
“
You don’t need to explain, Etta. It’s the story of my life. Maybe I should start being the bad guy for a change.”
“
No Aaron. You don’t have a mean bone in your body. Don’t talk like that.”
He shrugs a little and looks the other way, squinting into the sun.
“Are you angry with me?” I ask after a while, worried about our friendship.
“No. Never
. We’ll always be friends Etta.”
“I can’t tell you how glad I am to hear you say that,” I breathe.
We sit together quietly for a moment longer, neither of us really knowing what to say.
“Well,” he starts, breaking the silence. “I did come around here feeling guilty, prepared to take you to a movie to apolo
gise… it’s still on the table if you want to go with me? I just don’t feel bad anymore so… I reckon you should buy the ice creams.”
Laughing, I nod, reliev
ed that he isn’t going to let my dating Damien get in the way of what we have. “Yeah, I think I can handle that.”
***
“So have you done much about that research assignment? I’ve got all these papers to read through, and I have no idea what I’m going to do with them all,” Aaron tells me, as we leave the movie theatre.
“No, I’ve been so caught up with my birthday
, and the move that I haven’t done much at all.”
“You want to come and go through my stuff? It might give you some ideas on what you want to do,” he suggests.
“Yeah, I wouldn’t mind that actually,” I respond, climbing into the passenger seat of his Lancer.
For a moment I just sit there, wondering what the pinging noise is when he puts the key in the ignition. “You need to do your seatbelt up,” he reminds me.
“Oh!” I exclaim, laughing at myself inwardly – how easy it is to get used to having someone do things for you.
Once we reach his apartment block, I can’t help but notice the music coming from
Damien’s place. I know that he’s working, so I do my best to keep myself from knocking on the door. But I really want to see what’s going on in there.
“That was playing when I left too,” Aaron says as he slides the key into his door.
My eyes stray toward it, wishing I had x-ray vision.
“Do you know exactly what he does?” I ask, remembering the earlier conversation we had.
“I only know the rumours, and what I see,” he tells me as he pushes the door open.
“What do you see?” I ask, following him in.
“Lots of women Etta. Lots of women.”
“He said the rumours aren’t true. They’re not paying him to sleep with them. He does their portraits.”
“And you believe him?”
“Yes, I do.”
He looks at me for a moment, studying my face. “It’s your life Etta. I can’t tell you how to live it, or who you can see. But you know I don’t think Damien is a good guy.”
Shifting uncomfortably on my feet
, I look over his shoulder to anywhere in the room but at him. “How about you show me those papers?” I suggest, in an obvious subject change.
He stands in front of me for a moment longer, before conceding. “They’re in the filing cabinet in my room,” he tells me, his speech more like a sigh of disappointment than an actual sentence.
I follow him down the hallway towards his room and stand in the doorway as he rummages through the beige metal filing cabinet, muttering to himself about where he put them all.
“Aha! Here you go,” he says, handing me a three-inch-thick manila folder. “That’s everything I have. You can borrow it for the weekend if you like.”
Flicking through the folder, I note that the papers cover a wide range of advertising principles. Some question morals in advertising, while others talk about the use of subliminal messages. “Wow, you’ve really pulled a lot of different topics,” I comment.
“Yeah, I just have no idea which area to focus on,” he says, shrugging his shoulders as he wrestles the drawer closed.
“Thank you Aaron,” I say, as I continue to peruse their contents. “I really appreciate this. You’ve always been so wonderful to me.”
Pressing his lips together in a tight sm
ile as he nods his head, placing his hands on his hips. “It’s no trouble Etta. Just know that I’m always here for you. Okay?”
I nod, closing the folder as a feeling of warmth blooms inside me for this man, who has been a great friend to me for so long. I understand the disappointment he must be feeling right now. I mean, the only reason we broke up was because
of my father’s rules. I also know, that if Damien hadn’t entered the picture, Aaron and I would most likely be dating again.
Stepping toward him, I wrap my arms around him briefly. “I know
, Aaron and thank you. I’d hate to think of my life without you.”
“Not going to happen,” he promises, returning my embrace.
“I’d better get going,” I inform him, pulling away. “I’ve obviously got a lot of reading to do.” I wave the folder, gently from side to side to demonstrate.
“You don’t want me to drive you?” he says.
“No, it’s only a short walk, and it’s a nice day,” I point out. “Thanks for the movie too. It was fun.” With a promise to meet up for lunch or another pool competition soon, I bid him farewell and thank him again for his help.
Making my way into the hallway, I can once again hear the music. It’s
not some heavy metal rock beat - it’s jazz. It’s the kind of music that makes you want to move your body. Standing outside his door, curiosity gets the better of me, and I press my ear to the wood and listen.
I can hear his voice, soft and coaxing as it says, “Open them for me. That’s it. Good girl. Now show me how you touch yourself.”
Sucking in my breath, I jump back from the door, sure that I must’ve heard wrong. With shaky breath, I lean in again, just as I start to hear a woman moan.
All of a sudden, my world stops. That fucking bastard! And to think, I almost thought I was falling in love with him.
With anger pumping my blood around my body, I drop my bag and the folder where I’m standing then throw myself at the door, banging on it with my fists.
“Let me in
, you fucker!” I scream. As I take another breath, the door bursts open, and Damien stands before me, his eyes wide and his brow furrowed.
“What the hell are you doing?” he growls.
“Putting a stop to whatever the hell is going on in here,” I yell, pushing past him and into the living area.
That’s when I see Bec, standing in the middle of the room, nothing but a swathe of burgundy fabric covering her body.
“What’s going on?” she asks Damien, an edge of panic to her voice as her eyes dart from him to me.
“Get out!” I screech.
It’s like that satiny fabric is the red flag, and I’m the bull. I don’t know what comes over me, but I charge her, screaming like some sort of banshee as I grab her by the hair and drag her out, kicking and screaming about her clothes and her bag.
Depositing her in the hallway, I return to the apartment, spot her things and throw them out on the floor next to her.
“Damien!” she shrieks, her eyes wide as she looks to him for help.
“Stay the fuck away from him,” I growl at her. It’s then that I notice Aaron has stepped out into the hall.
“Etta?” he says quietly, looking as though he can’t really believe his eyes.
“Just… don’t,” I say, holding my hand up to him as I pick my bag up and gather the papers I dropped.
“She’s a fucking pyscho!” Bec yells, scrambling to stand up and keep herself covered.
“And you’re a fucking whore!” I shout back, completely enraged at what I just heard and witnessed. I don’t care if that’s how he makes money. I don’t care. I can’t handle this.
“Henrietta,” Damien warns, reaching down to take the papers from my hands.
“Don’t touch me!” I yell, throwing the papers about the hallway as I push to standing. “I heard her
moaning Damien. Moaning! And I heard you asking her to–” My voice catches in my throat, and I need to take a breath to calm down before I can speak again. “Don’t call me. Don’t fucking come near me – we’re done!”
Turning on my heels, I rush out of there. I
’m hanging by a thread and need to get home before I lose it entirely in front of everyone.
I run the whole
way home, the fight to keep my tears at bay, causes my chest to ache and my eyes to burn. I find myself fumbling with the lock on our front door as I try to get inside. Into the sanctuary of my room.
“Etta? Are you alright?” Jessica asks me through my locked door.
“I…I’m fine,” I choke out between sobs.
“Do you need to talk? Are you upset?”
“No. I’m just tired. It’s been a long day,” I lie.
For a moment, she doesn’t respond, and I wonder if she’s going to call me on my fib. “Ok, well we’re just about to head out. Do you need
anything at the shops?” she asks.
“No, I’m fine. Thanks,” I call back, as cheery as possible, relieved when I hear her move away, so I can rebury my face in my pillow.
After a good hour of sobbing, my phone starts to sing from inside my bag. I know it’s Damien.
Rising from the bed, I retr
ieve my phone and switch it off. I don’t want to hear his excuses – I heard enough this afternoon.