Doomed Queens (10 page)

CAUTIONARY MORAL

Blood is seldom thicker than blood.

LIFE AFTER DEATH

Arsinoe’s story has been overlooked in the face of her more successful older sister, Cleopatra—too often history is written by the victors. But in death, Arsinoe was buried with the queenly honors that had been denied her in life. Her remains were interred in a tomb in the Temple of Artemis, one of the seven wonders of the ancient world. Archaeologists have never been able to locate her tomb.

Engraving of Cleopatra with Mark Antony. Baby sister Arsinoe just couldn’t compete.

30 BCE

leopatra ruled as queen of Egypt for more than two decades—an astonishing feat for a woman born into a dysfunctional, inbred family headed by an alcoholic pharaoh. During her reign, Cleopatra became famed for her charm and unusual intelligence; the historian Dio Cassius wrote that “she captured all who listened to her.” Though Greek by blood, she identified wholeheartedly with her country’s heritage; of her family, she was the only member to learn Egyptian.

Cleopatra was seventeen when her father, Ptolemy XII, passed on to the next world. He chose her to corule Egypt with her ten-year-old husband-brother, Ptolemy XIII. Despite her father’s wishes, the queen was soon ousted into the desert by Ptolemy Junior’s supporters—so much for spousal loyalty. But years of familial scheming taught Cleopatra how to survive. She used her time in exile to amass a large army. However, Ptolemy refused to tango with her forces. There was little Cleopatra could do. As the months passed, it became harder and harder to keep her army fed and frisky.

Fortunately, Julius Caesar arrived in Alexandria just as it seemed all was lost. Cleopatra knew that the middle-aged warrior would take her side. She also knew that if she went strolling back into town to meet with him, her body would arrive at the embalmers before noon. She took advantage of her diminutive size and smuggled herself to Caesar within the rolls of a rug.

Caesar was wooed by her cleverness and beauty. He immediately confirmed their alliance in the bedroom; most likely the queen was a virgin because Ptolemy was too young to consummate their marriage. Virgin or not, she was willing and able. Caesar was famed for his voracious sexual appetite—Cleopatra was apparently sensual enough to fulfill it.

The following morning, Ptolemy stumbled upon his sister in flagrante delicto with the Roman conqueror. A famous story relates that the boy king threw down his crown and whined, “It’s not fair!” Ptolemy did not survive long. Under the guise of offering military advice, Caesar insisted Ptolemy lead his Egyptian subjects in battle. The boy’s body was found later that day at the bottom of a river, weighed down by his gold armor.

The throne restored, Caesar returned to Rome. He left Cleopatra with a parting gift: a son she named Caesarion, or Little Caesar. Caesar was already married and unable to formally acknowledge his only son. Nonetheless, four years later he invited Cleopatra and Caesarion to Rome. By now, Caesar had conquered much of the world, like Cleopatra’s distant relative Alexander the Great. Their love affair reignited, scandalizing Rome. Caesar even installed a statue of Cleopatra as Venus, which did not win him fans. Many thought Caesar would eventually name himself king and marry Cleopatra, thus creating an empire where West would meet East.

All this came to an end in 44 BCE on the infamous ides of March. Caesar’s will did not acknowledge Caesarion; instead he left his empire to his grand-nephew Gaius Julius Caesar Octavianus, better known as Octavian. Power struggles soon divided the empire between Octavian and Mark Antony, Caesar’s right-hand warrior.

Though Cleopatra fled with her son, Rome soon came a-knockin’ at Egypt’s door. The savvy queen decided to repeat history, this time with Antony. If she allied with him, their forces could triumph over Octavian to rule the world, which Caesarion would inherit when he came of age.

Like Cleopatra’s father, Antony was of a Dionysian bent; like Caesar, he was older and susceptible to the queen’s charms. She invited Antony to dinner upon her barge and appeared dressed as a goddess. Locals whispered that Aphrodite was mating with Dionysus. Aphrodite overwhelmed Dionysus with luxurious sensuality: a carpet made of rose petals, a banquet of the finest wines and foods, all served on bejeweled gold plates while guests reclined on embroidered couches. Cleopatra capped the evening by dissolving an expensive pearl in a goblet of vinegar, which she appeared to drink. This spectacle served to illustrate the overwhelming wealth of Egypt that would be at Antony’s disposal—if he gave in to the queen’s will.

The two lovers brought out the worst in each other. Antony initiated Cleopatra into his Society of the Inimitable Livers, which involved much alcohol, food, and gambling. Cleopatra took advantage of Antony’s natural generosity and loyalty. He helped her win new territories, alienating him from the Roman Empire, and agreed to marry her. To do so, Antony abandoned his pregnant wife, who happened to be Octavian’s sister—not a smart move. Plutarch wrote that Antony was “besotted with the woman as well as with the wine” and that she controlled him with love potions, a claim that reveals more about the charms of Cleopatra than the truth of the matter.

To create a dynasty of their own, Cleopatra spawned three children with Antony. Antony acknowledged Caesarion as Caesar’s son, undermining the legitimacy of Octavian’s rule. Not surprisingly, Octavian declared war on them. Fate was not kind: It took time, but Rome’s forces thumped Cleopatra and Antony. Their allies abandoned the couple like rats off a sinking ship.

Trapped, Cleopatra and Antony huddled down in Alexandria to await the worst; the Society of Inimitable Livers became the Society of Those Who Die Together. To avoid capture by Octavian, Antony stabbed himself. One legend claims that on the night he died, a strange clamor of horns sounded, then faded away—Dionysus abandoning his own. Cleopatra chose a more elegant method to dispatch herself. She arranged for a basket of figs to be smuggled to her, with two poisonous asps hidden within it.

In death, Cleopatra became Egypt’s last pharaoh. Caesarion did not survive to inherit his mother’s throne—Octavian decided that two Caesars were one too many and arranged for his murder.

CAUTIONARY MORAL

Choose your allies well, or they will come
back to bite you in the asp.

23 CE

ittle is known about Empress Wang beyond her birth, her marriages, and her death—even her first name has been lost to history. Even so, one dominant characteristic emerges from these sketchy details: The girl had some serious backbone.