Don't Say a Word (Strangers Series) (22 page)

CHAPTER 38

HER HEART HAMMERING in her chest, Allie jumped out of the Crown Victoria before it could come to a full stop and ran through the cold rain to the front door. She punched the doorbell several times, then frantically fumbled with her keys. Piglet was inside the house, barking like crazy.

Bitty opened the door, a wad of Kleenex in her hand. She was wearing her robe, and her hair was disheveled as though she’d just woken. “Allie? What’s wrong?” she asked, her gaze moving quickly from her to Carrie.

“What in God’s name? Carrie? She was with you? How—?”

“Where’s Sammy?” Allie asked, out of breath, pushing into the foyer.

Bitty’s eyebrows inched together. “Zoe told me he was with you.”

Ignoring Bitty’s words, Allie dashed into the living room, hoping to see Sammy on the couch or the floor, playing. Goose bumps broke out along her arms when she saw only Zoe. The girl was reading a book, her socked feet propped up on the coffee table.

“Where’s Sammy, Zoe?”

Zoe’s mouth opened, then closed. Then she caught sight of the red and blue emergency lights that were splashed on the far wall of the room. She stood up, her eyes nervously skating around the room.

They landed on Carrie and froze.

“Where’s Sammy, Zoe?” Allie asked again, louder, her whole body trembling with both fear and fury.

Zoe hugged her body with her arms. “What do you mean?” she said, her voice quivering. “I thought he was with you.”

“No you didn’t! You said you would help watch him. Where is he? Tell me right now, Zoe! Right now!”

“But he left with you! I mean . . . didn’t he? I’m not sure—”

Allie’s blood turned cold. Zoe had done something bad to Sammy.

“Sammy!” Allie screamed, running to her bedroom only to find it empty. “Sammy!” she shouted again. She started to head to his bedroom, but Detective Lambert was just stepping out of it. “He’s not in there,” he said.

“Can someone tell me what’s going on?” she heard Bitty say somewhere behind her. The woman’s voice was high-pitched. It was never high-pitched. Hearing the worry in her voice only made Allie more fearful.

“Carrie thinks Zoe might’ve done something to him,” the detective answered.

“What? Oh my God, no.”

“We’ve been trying to call,” he said.

“The landline’s dead, and I can’t find my cell phone.”

“Sammy! Sammy!” Allie screamed again, looking around. But her little boy didn’t come. Piglet was going berserk, barking her head off.

“She’s been barking like that for the last few minutes,” Bitty said to the detective. “I found her locked in Allie’s room right before you got here.”

The foyer was filling with people. The caseworker and forensic therapist had both arrived, along with three uniformed cops and Sergeant Davis. “Search the house,” the detective said, giving them orders. “You,” he said pointing to an officer. “Tear the place apart if you have to.” He turned to the other two officers. “Check the perimeter, and the woods.”

Allie ran back to Zoe, who was now cowering against the wall behind the couch. She grabbed the girl’s arms. “Where is he, dammit!” she screamed. “Where
is
he? So help me God, I will kill you if you don’t tell me, Zoe!”

Zoe’s eyes held hers as she tried to wrestle her arms free, but Allie clung on. “Tell me!” she shouted. She shook the girl, and her head whipped back.

Strong arms pried her fingers from Zoe’s shoulders, quickly pulling her away. “No. Allie. I’m sorry, you can’t—” Detective Lambert said.

She bucked and twisted against the detective’s hold, but he held on tight. “Tell me, goddammit!” Allie screamed.

Zoe shrunk away. She rubbed her upper arms and stared at Allie, her eyes going flat. Something frightening passed through them.

“You tell us right now where he is, young lady!” Bitty said, now at Allie’s side. “This isn’t a game, Zoe! This is a little boy!”

“I know exactly what he is! He’s a spoiled little brat!” Zoe spat, her eyes never leaving Allie’s. “This is all
his
fault!” she screamed. “He was jealous of me! Don’t you see! All he wanted to do is screw everything up for me! He was so selfish! It’s not fair!”

“I trusted you!” Allie shouted.

“That wasn’t enough! I wanted you to
love
me!” Zoe screamed, her eyes shimmering with tears. “Why couldn’t you just love me?”

Allie’s skin crawled with horror.

She had never wanted to hurt anyone so bad.

“Does the dog always bark like that?” Detective Lambert asked.

Allie hadn’t even realized Piglet was still barking. She turned her head in the dog’s direction. “Only if there’s something out there . . .

The two traded a look. “Open the door! The dog knows where he is,” Detective Lambert told Sergeant Davis, who was standing closest to the door.

The sergeant flipped the lock on the sliding glass door, and Piglet, barking maniacally, leaped out into the darkness.

Allie pushed out of the detective’s grasp and sprinted into the cold, wet night after Piglet, shouting her son’s name.

CHAPTER 39

FEAR KNIFED HER heart as Allie darted into the wet wintry night after Piglet. With every step, icy mud seeped into her shoes.

“Sammy! Piglet!” she yelled, rushing deeper into the woods. A weak moonbeam trickled through the canopy of trees but barely illuminated her path. She could see little more in the darkness than the shadows of the trees.

It tore her in two to think of Sammy out here, alone. She knew if he was out here, he was afraid. “Sammy!” she cried, her arms extended in front of her face as she ran, pushing aside low-slung branches. She missed one, and an ice-encrusted branch whipped at her face and sliced into her forehead. She cast it aside and kept running.

Were Piglet’s barks growing fainter?

She stopped and listened, her heart racing so fast she thought it would burst out of her chest.

“Sammy!” she yelled, turning and running the other way. Her lungs were so tight, she could barely breathe. After a few yards, she stumbled on something and fell hard, sprawling flat on her stomach, cold mud splashing her face.

A sudden storm of footfalls pounded the forest’s floor. Still on her stomach, she turned and saw the men spreading out into the woods. A cacophony of voices were shouting Sammy’s name, their cries echoing off the trees.

Piglet was howling now. Deep, long, mournful howls that made Allie tremble even harder.

Flashlight beams bounced off the trees in every direction. Three different beams were headed toward her.

Please, God, let him be okay. Please. I’ll do anything. Oh God, please.

Her thoughts started firing slowly again as the last bits of adrenaline drained from her body. The wind gusted through the branches, chilling her to the bone as she staggered to her feet.

Please, I’ll do anything. Just please, keep my son safe. Please . . . let him be okay.

She turned in a full circle, watching the flashlight beams shine off trees in the distance.

She heard a deep voice. “Over here! The boy’s over here!” Her eyes jerked in the direction of the man’s voice. She could make out a small circle of light through the trees.

“Sammy!” she screamed.

Her lungs on fire, she limped toward the light, feeling as though she were moving through quicksand.

Another light shone from behind her, glancing off a tree. She peered over her shoulder, shielding her eyes from the beam. It snapped off and she felt a strong hand on her upper back. “Here. Let me help you.” It was Detective Lambert. He draped her arm over his shoulder and helped her walk.

Despair washed through her as they neared her son. Was he okay?

She moved to him as quickly as she could. As she drew closer, she saw Sammy on the ground, curled up on his side in his Spider-Man pajamas, his thumb in his mouth. Piglet lay on the ground whining, pressed against Sammy’s back. Two officers knelt beside the two. One was pressing fingers against Sammy’s neck.

“Over here!” the other man kept shouting.

Tears exploding from her eyes, Allie fell to her knees and touched his shoulder, instantly smelling the sharp odor of vomit. “Oh, Sammy!”

His eyes remained closed.

“Sammy?” A shiver passed through her. “Sammy, Mommy’s here.” In the distance she heard radios going off.

“Ma’am, please. Make sure not to move him. EMS is making its way in and will be here in a few seconds,” the officer said.

It took all she had to not cradle Sammy in her arms. She lay on the forest floor, pressed up against him, trying to keep him warm. Vomit coated his lips and the side of his face and his neck. His pajama shirt. In his hand, he clutched something sticky.

“Oh, Sammy,” she whispered. “I love you so much. Please . . . please be okay.”

His little eyes fluttered open. His lips turned up a little at the corners. “Mommy,” he said, sounding relieved to see her. “Mommy, I cold.” Then his eyes closed again.

Relief washed through her. “It’s okay, baby,” she said, smiling through her tears. “They’re going to warm you up in just a minute, okay? You’re about to be so much more comfortable.”

“EMS. Clear the area,” a man announced. Allie sat up, but continued holding her son’s hand. Two men knelt down on either side of her son and began taking his vitals. She sat, rubbing the back of his hand with her thumb, and continuing to reassure him.

Until everything faded to black.

CHAPTER 40

BACK IN THE living room, Carrie could feel the hate in her sister’s stare.

“Where were you?” Zoe asked. Even though she looked angry, she sounded terrified.

Zoe truly looked shocked Carrie would turn on her. Didn’t she realize that when she continued to hurt people—Carrie included—she hadn’t given her a choice?

Most everyone was in the yard and woods now. The only people left in the house were Carrie, Zoe, Miss Judy, Renee, and Sergeant Davis.

Zoe kept blinking hard, as though hoping when she opened her eyes, she would see something else. That it would all turn out to just be a bad dream.

“What did you do, Carrie?” she asked again, louder this time.

Carrie didn’t answer her.

She remembered all her nasty words over the last few weeks. Zoe snapping at her. Threatening her. Warning her.

Do something brave for once . . . Stop being such a freak, Carrie! They’re going to think something’s up . . . Oh my God . . . Act normal for once, okay? Get over it, Carrie. Just get over it . . . Don’t you want to see me happy?

She had put Zoe on a pedestal all her life, and Zoe had just thrown her away, making her feel small, worthless . . . completely disposable. It seemed almost everyone was disposable to Zoe.

From the beginning, Carrie had wanted to be honest about what had happened, but Zoe had begged and warned her to keep it a secret. She’d tried, but the secret had torn her mind into shreds.

Zoe was shaking with rage now, probably knowing without a doubt that Carrie had come clean. “Carrie? What did you tell them?”

“We need to separate them,” she heard one of the women in the room say.

Carrie’s knees felt weak, but she held her ground. “It’s not just about you anymore, Zoe.”

Lightning flashed behind Zoe’s eyes.
“Anymore?”
she yelled. “Don’t you get it? It was
never
about me.”

Zoe’s words only confirmed what Carrie had been thinking. Zoe was willing to do whatever it took to be loved, including getting rid of anyone who threatened to get in the way, or let her down. Their mother, Gary, Johnny, Sammy—and quite possibly even Joey, although Carrie probably would never know for sure.

Over the years she’d replayed that afternoon dozens of times: Zoe watching Joey as he ran toward the road and not even moving. Carrie forced the memory away and stared back at her sister. “You said to be brave for once, didn’t you?” she said. “So I’m doing something brave.”

Zoe narrowed her eyes. “You little bitch.”

A bitter taste filled Carrie’s mouth, as though she were tasting Zoe’s rage.

Carrie’s eyes flitted to Sergeant Davis, then back to Zoe. “Gary Willis didn’t kill my parents,” she said.

Zoe’s face reddened and contorted with such fury, Carrie barely recognized her. She rushed toward Carrie, her arms extended straight out in front of her, screaming like a lunatic. But before she reached Carrie, Sergeant Davis caught her in his arms.

“Don’t you dare!” Zoe screamed. “Don’t you fucking
dare!
” She thrashed around in the policeman’s arms. “Don’t say a word. Not a fucking word, Carrie!” she screamed. “Oh my God! Are you that stupid?” she yelled. “Really? Are you?”

Salty tears rolled down Carrie’s face. She wiped them away, then shook her head. “No, I’m not stupid. Not anymore.”

Carrie listened as the ambulances outside left with Sammy and Allie, the sirens screaming into the winter night. A police officer and senior caseworker had led Zoe out the front door several minutes earlier. The expression on her face was imprinted in Carrie’s mind. She’d looked completely mortified.

The air was charged as Carrie sat at the dining room table across from Detective Lambert, Sergeant Davis, Miss Judy, and Renee. Detective Lambert’s dark hair was soaked with rain and slicked back. His clothes were wet, and sticking to him. Carrie could hear commotion outside the house—Zoe screaming at someone.

Carrie wanted Detective Lambert to know that Zoe had lied about Gary. There’d never been an argument the night her parents were killed. In fact, Gary and their mother never argued. Zoe had also lied about waking up to find Gary in her bedroom. Yes, Gary was a big screw up. But he had never done anything bad to them.

Carrie was ashamed that she’d let him take the fall. She knew she was partially responsible for his suicide, because if she’d only spoken up earlier, it never would have happened. It was just one of many things she would never forgive herself for.

She remembered Gary that morning in the backyard, waving the gun. That was Gary under great distress, not the Gary she remembered. He’d been afraid, confused—and had known exactly how guilty he seemed.

Seeing Gary that morning had been like seeing a ghost. Zoe had figured they’d just arrest him and that would be the end of it. But Gary had hidden from the cops, knowing how bad everything appeared. How easily he could go to prison for something he hadn’t even done.

He’d been at the house that night. There’d been witnesses to confirm it. His fingerprints were all over the house, his DNA, too. He’d also just been given a lot of money. Carrie was pretty sure her mother and Gary had been planning to run away together, but she now wondered if they’d really planned on taking her and Zoe—or if it had simply just been another of her sister’s many lies. One of her many acts of revenge. Carrie wondered if she would ever know.

The room was silent. Detective Lambert’s eyes were fixed on hers. “Carrie, if Gary didn’t kill your parents, who did?”

She glanced at Sergeant Davis. The big man looked up from the notebook he’d been scribbling in and nodded . . . as if to tell her it was okay to go on. But again, she was having a difficult time getting the words out.

Everyone sat silently. Waiting, expectant.

“Did Zoe do it, Carrie?” Detective Lambert offered.

Carrie gazed at him through tear-filled eyes. “No. Zoe didn’t do it. It was me. I killed them.”

The Night Before the Murders

What Zoe whispered to Carrie had sucked the air out of her lungs. “That’s not funny, Zoe,” she said, a sense of disquiet quickly forming in her middle.

Zoe’s eyes were flat. “I’m not joking.”

Carrie couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Was Zoe okay? She couldn’t be thinking straight.

“Don’t you see? It’s the only way to stay with Dad,” Zoe said.

She was serious.

Dead serious.

Carrie took deep breaths, trying to slow her thundering heart. “But you can’t just go and kill people just because . . .”

“You don’t understand.” Zoe’s cheeks were soaked with tears. Her eyes were wild. “If I have to live with her any longer, it’s going to kill
me
. Either that or I’m going to kill myself. I’m not kidding, Carrie. I can’t take this anymore. Living like this . . . I’m dying.” More tears rolled down her cheeks, and her face crumpled. “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t!”

Carrie felt sick. “But I’m sure there are a million other ways.
Better
ways. We’ll figure something out.”

Zoe shook her head. “No.” She marched to the closet and rooted around. Finally, she pulled out a plastic Wal-Mart shopping bag. She brought it to the bed and held it open. In the bottom lay one of her father’s handguns.

Their father kept his guns in a box on the top shelf of the master bedroom closet. The girls had known about the guns for years.

Carrie’s jaw dropped.

“I took it months ago. He hasn’t even noticed.”

“What? Why?”

Her sister stared at her. “Just in case.”

“Of what?”

“Of something like this.”

“Oh my God, Zoe! Have you lost your mind?”

Zoe’s eyes bore into hers. “No. But I’m about to.”

Carrie shook her head.

“And you are the one who has to do it,” Zoe said. “They’d never in a million years think it was you. I have it all planned out. You can do it while they’re in the shower. Right through the shower curtain. It would be so easy. So fast. You won’t even have to see them.”

Carrie shook her head vigorously. “No.”

Zoe narrowed her eyes. “Come on. For once in your life do something brave. Mother’s not a good person. Neither is Gary. You know he’s killing people, dealing that meth shit, right? Everyone would be better off if they weren’t around. Especially us.” Zoe placed her hands on Carrie’s shoulders. “Think about it, Carrie. We’d get to live with Dad. How great would that be?” Zoe smiled. “Life would be totally different for us.”

Carrie shook her head again.

Zoe’s smile skidded off her face. “We don’t deserve to live like this, Carrie. We haven’t done anything wrong!”

Silence fell between them.

Zoe watched her for a long moment. “I swear, Carrie . . . I don’t know what I’ll do if you don’t.”

“What do you mean?”

“With this,” she said, clutching the gun and pressing the barrel against her cheek, “to myself.”

Carrie felt the breath leave her lungs for the second time that evening . . . because she believed her.

After Zoe had fallen asleep, Carrie lay on her back in bed and cried so hard and for so long, the tears streamed into her ears.

She’d never been able to say no to Zoe. She’d never had to . . . before now. Zoe had to be insane to think that killing their mother and Gary was a good idea. That it was the solution to their problems. Right?

But she discovered the more she thought about it, the less shocking it sounded . . . and she started finding ways to justify it. After all, what other options did they have?

Living with Mother and Gary . . . and not being able to see their father . . . would be unbearable . . . and it would absolutely kill Zoe.

If Zoe didn’t kill herself first.

And it was likely she would.

And Zoe . . . well, she was the one who really counted, right? Besides, what would Carrie do if Zoe was gone?

She trembled in bed, the logic starting to make sense.

When Zoe pulled out the gun the next afternoon and pressed it to her temple so she could see her reflection in the mirror, Carrie heard herself say she’d do it.

Zoe spun around to face her, relief in her eyes. She removed the gun from the side of her face and dropped it back into the bag, then hugged Carrie hard. They hugged for a long time, their hearts pounding against one another’s.