Dissidence (27 page)

“We’re going to colony L.” My voice carries over the crowd better than I would have expected. Even more surprising is that it doesn’t shake at all, and I actually sound like I know what I’m talking about. Slowly
,
a hush falls as people listen to hear what I have to say. I never will get used to that. “There’s a train coming by here in the morning. They’ll pick us up and take us to L. You’ll all be welcome there. It may not be what you expect, but we’ll explain more on the way. The most important thing right now is getting out of here before the guards decide to finish us off.”

I think I may have touched on their deepest fear because everyone is dead quiet. Peter pulls me away from the others so we can talk in relative privacy. “What if they already took the train? They must know about it by now.”

“The train was long gone by the time they got here. They might know it’s coming, but I
gotta
believe they haven’t captured it
yet
. It’s our only chance, Peter.”

“If they know it’s coming, then what’s to stop them from taking it the moment it pulls into the station tomorrow?”

“It’s not going to pull into the station.” Peter’s forehead creases in confusion, and I wish he could keep up. We don’t have time to waste. “It’s going to take the express track around the colony. Then it can stop further down the line to pick everyone up.”

“Why would it do that? They don’t know anything about this, Leigh.”

“Because I’m going to warn them.
I can slip around the outskirts of the colony and intercept the train before it gets close enough for them to stop it.”

“You are
not
sneaking past that entire horde of troops.
Especially not a
lone.
Leigh, you don’t have to—
”

“Yes I do,” I snap before softening my voice. “Peter, someone needs to get these people to the tracks further away from the colony where the express line reconnects. I’ll stop the train before the colony junction, and then we’ll use the express line to come and pick you up without ever passing into the colony at all.”

“What if they catch you, Leigh?”

“Then the train will pull into the station according to schedule, and the troops will probably take it over. Then it’ll be your turn to come up with a plan.” I don’t have any more time to argue about this
.
“I need to go now if I’m going to make it the long way around the colony before
dark
.”

Peter scans the faces of the crowd still gathering not far off. He knows I’m right, I can see it in his eyes. I try to slip away before he can change his mind, but he snatches my wrist. I wait for
his next argument to come, but he just stares at me before letting me go.

The gloom brought on by the thick canopy and drizzly weather seems helpful at first, but it doesn’t take long to realize it’s only creating more problems. I can’t move very fast without tripping over everything in my path, and the racket I’m making in the process is negating any stealth the
obscurity
has afforded me. You would think that after all the hiking Connor and I did in these woods
,
I would be better at it, but no. 

I welcome the concentration it takes to pick my way through the undergrowth. If I didn’t have to focus so hard on where to place my feet, my mind would drift to other things I can’t afford to think about right now. Progress is excruciatingly slow, and darkness is starting to fall in earnest by the time I clear the far side of the colony’s perimeter.

Somehow, I manage to find the tracks. Technically
,
I trip over them, but I’ve found them nonetheless. The further away from the colony I can stop the train
,
the better
,
so I keep at it, moving along the rails until they begin to vibrate and a loud rumbling fills the air. About a mile ahead of where I’m standing the engine rounds a bend, headed straight for me. I position myself in the middle of the track, and pray the brakes are working. The sound of the whistle pierces the air, making me cringe. Someone is sure to have heard that. The brakes squeal, but my feet stay planted on the track.

Chapter 25

There are times in movies when you just want to scream at someone to move it, and you can’t understand why they don’t just get out of the way of whatever danger is headed in their direction. The stupidity of it all used to drive me crazy, but I understand it now. Fear that intense can literally be paralyzing. Lucky for me, the breaks are fully functional, and the engine comes to a stop well before it reaches me.

“
Kaleigh
?”
Someone shouts from a side door. There’s no rule that says I have to know the name of every person that knows mine.

Two men pull me onboard, and I give them the quick version of eve
nts. We need to get moving. T
he whistle probably gave us away. As we speed past the colony on the express line, I go to a window to assess the destruction. The hospital’s still burning, but not much else seems to be damaged. A sudden shift in the wind fills my nostrils with the scent of smoke
,
and I barely make it to th
e bathroom before retching. I’
ve got to hold it together, now is not the time for this. After rinsing my mouth out in the sink, I move to the engine to help the driver
– an older man, who stepped up to the position after we took the train –
keep an eye out for Peter and the others.
I honestly don’t know what his name is, or anything else about the man, but as long as he can operate a train like a getaway driver, does it really matter?

They m
ade it further than I
expected. Nearly five miles from the colony
,
a large group of people are just sitting around at the edge of the tracks. Not very stealthy, Peter, but at least we’re able to get them on board quickly and get the hell out of there. 

“You did it.” Peter finds me in a crowded passenger car where I’m fighting to remain upright.

“Yeah, I did it all right. I left with one group of refugees, and I’m coming back with another,” I muse.

“Leigh…”

“Peter!” I can’t believe I didn’t think
of this earlier.
“Your parents?
”

“They’re fine. They’re here somewhere. I found them last night.
Told them everything.
I think my mom’s in shock, but they’ll get over it.”

I breathe a grateful sigh of relief. “Okay then, now we just need to tell everyone else the truth.”

“We can take care of that. Why don’t you go and get some rest?”

“You rest, I’m fine.”

“Leigh, why do you always have to argue?
It’s getting late.
Ju
st go and lie down for a while. Y
ou’ve been at it for hours. Someone else can handle things from here. It doesn’t always have to be you.”

I
want to argue, insist that it
does
have to be me
, but my body seems to disagree with my mind. Besides, I’m not sure I can face any of these people right now. They’ve lost their homes, their lives, maybe ev
en their loved ones—
all because of me, and soon
,
they’ll know it. No, I
can’t
face them. Ashamed of my cowardice, I trudge down the train and into the first vacant compartment I come to.

***

The camp is more than a little surprised when we turn up with so many extra passengers.

“What happened?” Connor’s there to meet me as I climb down onto the platform.

Anxious faces surround the station, awaiting our return. Everyone’s looking for answers. Judging by the tears freely flowing down a few faces, some of them already
know
them. People continue to pour off the train behind me, and I allow myself to be swept along with the flow of bodies heading back toward the camp, leaving Peter to fill Connor in on the details of my horrific failure.

The dormitory is blessedly empty when I slip inside. Dropping down on the first bunk I come to, I bury my f
ace in the pillow and wish I’
d wake up to find all of this was some kind of nightmare. No such luck. Thirty seconds later, there’s a knock on the door as it swings open. I don’t bother lifting my face as it clicks shut again and a weight shifts on the mattress beside me. I already know who it is.

“Girlie, you all right?”
             

“Peachy,” I mumble incoherently into the pillow.

“
Kaleigh
, this wasn’t your fault. You don’t have to hide in here.”

“Don’t
,
Connor,” I growl, sitting up to face him.

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t start.”

He’s relentless. At least Peter knew well enough to leave me the hell alone during the ride back. Of course, that could have had something to do with the fact that those doors actually had locks on them.
Some even on the
inside
.

“I’m not
starting
. I’m telling you that
it isn’t your fault
. . .”

“Oh, yeah?
Then whose fault is it
? Who are they all going to blame? Huh?”

“You did the best you—
”

“I know I did. Wasn’t good enough
,
though, was it? Well
,
ya
know
what,
you come up with something better. All you’ve managed to do is bring more people in, while I’m trying to get people out.
Frigging brilliant, Connor.
So glad you could contribute.” Hurt flashes across his face for a moment, but I don’t care. I’d rather have him hate me than feel sorry for me. “So you tell me, what do we do now? Come
on, mastermind,
spit
it out. Le
t’s go. Everyone’s waiting to hear our next clever plan. What will it be? Raiding more camps, or maybe attacking the colonies
ourselves, that would be ingenious. They’d never see it coming. Maybe we can take over the entire country.”

“You’re upset. I get that.” His tone is gentle, but I can see the anger brewing in his eyes.

Good
.
I hope he’s mad. I hope they all are. I don’t want their pity
,
and I sure as hell don’t deserve it. Connor stalks out of the dorm, not without slamming the door behind him, and I collapse back down on the bunk and shut my eyes, but once again
,
my escape into unconsciousness is thwarted.

“Leigh?”

What is their problem? Do I have an ‘In Need of Pep-Talk’ sign hanging around my freaking neck?

“What?” I snarl, hoping he takes the hint. He doesn’t.

Instead, he takes a seat on the bunk across from me like he is planning to stay a while. Then, he just proceeds to stare at me with a creep factor of ten.

“Whatever it is you have to say, Peter, just say it so you can go.”

Peter crosses his arms and leans back against the wall. His voice is so quiet I have to strain to hear him. “You don’t always have to be so hard on yourself.”

Oh no, he is not letting me off the hook that easy. “He betrayed us, Peter. I trusted him, not just for me
,
but for everyone.
Hixon
set the trap, and I marched all of us right into it.”

“We don’t know that’s true.”

“Well, he’s not here to ask, is he? So, either he’s dead, or he was in on it with security from the very beginning. Which do you think is more likely? How else would they have known we were there?”

“Do you really think he’d betray his entire colony like that? Maybe it wasn’t
him
.”

“Or, maybe he’s every bit the cold hearted bastard everyone else has proven to be lately. You’re always telling me I need to trust people, have faith in them. Well, I finally take your advice
,
and look where it gets us. Your ‘people are generally good’ philosophy sucks.
It’s
naïve and unrealistic. People generally suck, Peter. It’
s time to grow up and face—
”

“Enough!” His voice is soft, but there’s frustration simmering underneath. “You can use your sarcasm and cynicism on everyone else, Leigh, but not on me. You can’t push
me
away. I’m not going anywhere.” Peter leans forward and rests his hand on top of my own. He’s frowning at me, but his touch is gentle. “I know you, Leigh.
Probably better than anyone else.
I know when you’re not all right. You’re hurt. You’re disappointed. I know you don’t really mean what you just said, or whatever you said to make Connor so angry. You’re trying to punish yourself for something that was
not
your fault. You want everyone to hate you because you hate yourself right now. Well, it’s not going to work. People aren’t going to hate you. They
love
you. You know why that is?”