Digitalis (10 page)

“Is she worth the risk to you—and the team?”

The question pricked Colton’s conscience. “I’ve been in that store once a week for eight months—except while we’re out on missions, of course—and I still can’t answer that question.”

“Dude,” Max said with a laugh. “I know you’re uptight-methodical in lining up a target, but this is obscene—
take
the shot.”

Take the shot. What did Max know? He had a wife and a kid, had things good and right. Of course, they were good and right because Max had taken the time to fix things.

Well, Colton’s life wasn’t messed up from his lack of trying. But the flashbacks had a way of dropping in on him the way a B-2 dropped its payload on unsuspecting terrorists. Coupled with his skills and big bird flying high over enemy territory, the method was effective. Unlike every prayer, counseling session, and attempt to straighten out his mind.

It was time to stop hiding.

He adjusted his Stetson, stretched his neck, and strode into Hastings. How pathetic that he had every aisle memorized. Knew the sales ladies for every department. It was wrong. Just plain wrong. A man ought not to know that stuff. If it hadn’t been for his mother asking for that perfume last Christmas, he wouldn’t be here. And he wouldn’t have met Piper. That bottle had sealed his fate.

A woman he’d seen before at the counter with Piper walked toward him—and recognition lit her ebony face. “Afternoon. Are you finding everything okay?” she asked with a little more curiosity than usual.

He tipped his hat, mumbled a “just fine, thank you,” and kept moving, afraid that if he’d let anyone stop him full on, he’d never get his nerves—or his feet—working again.

As he rounded the corner, he darted a glance to the Maxximum Girl counter. There! Bending toward the illuminated displays, Piper reached under the glass top. She angled her body to reach farther into the cabinet—and her gaze slid right into his.

He’d swear he felt the impact. It had slowed him.

Lips slightly parted, she straightened as he approached. “Colton.” She locked the display and placed her hands on the glass. With a coy smile she asked, “Have you lost McKenna again?”

He wasn’t sure if her humor made it easier or harder to get on with this. “No, actually, she’s with my parents visiting family in Texas right now.” Heart thrumming, he glanced around—and spotted a couple of sales ladies watching. Dawg. “You busy tonight?”

Wow, that had a certain … idiocy to it. And a heaping dose of desperation. Not exactly the way to woo a woman. Where was all his southern charm? He yanked off his hat. “Sorry. What I meant to say—”

“Then you’re not here for more towels?” The playful tone in her words and the way she cocked her head to the side told him she wasn’t going to make this easy.

It was time to own up, come clean. Stop hiding behind towels and perfumes. “No,” he said, firm and certain. At least something in him was. The other parts screamed this could be his biggest mistake ever.
Get on with it!

“You get off at six, right?”

Amusement danced across her face. “You know my schedule?”

Could this go any worse? But no more hiding, so … “Darlin’, I don’t think there’s a thing about you I don’t know.”

Piper blinked and squared her shoulders. “Yes, I get off at six.”

Here goes nothing… or everything
. “I’d like to take you out.”

“Where?”

“To dinner.”

“Why?”

What on earth …? “What do you mean?”

“I—” She lowered her head and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I’m sorry. I was just wondering why, after all this time, you finally decide to ask me out.”

All this time
. … She’d been waiting. For him. To ask her out. His heart stumbled over the grenade-like revelation. He traced the band of his Stetson, hating that he didn’t have an answer. At least not one that wouldn’t make him sound like a big fat chicken. “Does it matter?”

A small smile teased the edges of her lips. “No.”

Her soft reply did his heart good, picking it up off scraped knees of his own bumbling attempt to be dignified in asking her out. “Good.” He gave her a slow nod as a customer walked up to the counter. “I’ll wait.”

“Good afternoon, ma’am. How are you?” Piper greeted the customer, but her gaze kept bouncing back to Colton.

Thirty minutes till she got off. Any other time, he might get himself a drink, check out the boot shop. But he knew better than to leave. Staying was crucial for two reasons. One, he got to watch Piper, and he’d pay to do that any day of the year. Two, if he left, he’d either end up in some wreck, get summoned on a mission, or he’d just plumb turn yellow and never come back.

But the more time he spent with Piper and realized her feelings most likely mirrored his own, the less he felt inclined to avoid her. Actually, it made him want to be with her at every opportunity. Max’s suggestion that Piper could be
the one
had lodged in his chest, digging deeper with each thought that passed by it.

As the customer bent over the counter, Piper’s gaze drifted to his. A smile filled with pleasure and expectation assailed his senses. Yes, he wanted to please her, wanted to meet that expectation ….

But he knew better. He’d fail her. Sure as night turned to day, he would. Just the way things worked with him and dating.

T
he grim reality that she could never be completely honest with Colton tempered Piper’s enthusiasm over the romantic dinner date. Even now as she sat across from him, a white tablecloth dusting her legs and the flickering candlelight casting shadows over his rugged face, she ached to tell him. Everything. But necessity—and her father’s life—demanded her silence.

Though clean shaven, he had a slightly shadowed line running along his angled jaw that made him appear rougher around the edges. And that dimple winked at her each time he chewed. Instead of being hidden by the big black cowboy hat, his eyes were shielded by the low lighting—which was probably a good thing since he always melted her resolve when he probed her with those blue irises.

“You don’t talk much about your family.” He slid a chunk of steak into his mouth and shifted his gaze to hers.

She sucked in a quick breath at the statement and darted a glance at him, then down to her salad. Family … she had all this rehearsed; why couldn’t she think what to say now? “My … um … my mother died when I was young.” That wasn’t one of the rehearsed stories. While it wasn’t a disastrous tidbit, she had to rule her tongue before it destroyed her.

Colton stilled. “Piper, I’m sorry.”

She brushed the loose hair from her face. “It’s okay. I was ten when it happened. She died giving birth to my brother—he died, too.”
“Kelila Liora Rosenblum!”
She could hear her father’s remonstration. In the days before sending her to America, he’d had spies test her. She’d been heartbroken that he’d tested her, but even more so that she’d failed. But those trials had hammered into her the importance of
not
failing on nights like this.

“Wow, that’s … I’m sorry. I had no idea.” Colton touched her hand.

Drawing up her wits, she forced a smile, determined to deflect the questioning from her family. “Like I said, I was young. I don’t remember much.” Not entirely true, but she had to push the conversation away from herself. “What of your family?”

He winked. “You met them, remember?”

Think, Piper, think
. “What about McKenna’s mother? I’ve never heard her mentioned.” When Colton’s face fell, she immediately regretted the maneuvering of topics. “Colton, I shouldn’t have—”

He held up a hand as he placed his napkin on the plate. “No, you’re right. We don’t talk about her with good reason, but you deserve to know if … if this thing between us is working.”

The insinuation tickled her hopes and brought a smile to her face.

“All right, then.” He cleared his throat. “I reckon I messed up real bad with Meredith. Had no business gettin’ involved with her. I was a cocky Marine, thought I owned life.” He huffed and shook his head. “When I came home after my first deployment, I met her at a frat party with my college buddies.”

Regret chugged through her veins, making her wish she’d never brought this up. She could tell it was hard for him, and she hated hearing about him with any other woman.

“Anyway,” he said and ran a hand through his hair. “When she told me she was pregnant, I … well, I ran. My unit got orders, and I’d never been so glad for deployment.”

Was she understanding this right? “You ran from your wife?”

“Meredith and I were never married.” “Oh.”

“When I came back, I tried to do the right thing, tried to marry her, but she wouldn’t have anything to do with it.”

Why on earth wouldn’t a woman want to be married to Colton?

“After McKenna was born, Meredith took off with some guy. I’m on a ship somewhere in the Arabian Sea when I get a call that she’s been found dead, OD’d on crack or something. The guy, too.” He let out a long sigh as he wiped the beads of sweat from his tea glass. Slowly his gaze came to hers. “I’m not proud of my past. Matter of fact, I’m pretty ashamed of it.”

Not everyone had been raised by a father who’d insisted on the absolutely pinnacle of upright and moral living, but somehow, she was disappointed. The handsome hero before her had fallen from his steed. But it was years ago. Piper wrestled, uncertain how to feel.

“I made my peace with God about it, and I’ve worked double-time ever since to make up the days I’ve lost with Mickey.” He nudged his glass aside. “I’ve avoided dating, afraid of the way I used to be. I did a lot of stupid things where Meredith was concerned. She wasn’t exactly a saint, but she didn’t deserve how I treated her either.”

Piper swallowed, feeling as if the earth had shifted from beneath her feet. “I can’t … I can’t imagine you being like that.”

Colton nodded. “Reckon that’s a good thing—maybe it’s proof I’ve changed my ways, which I have.” His earnest expression carried with it a heavy silence that fell over the dinner.

What could she say? That it was okay? But that’d be a lie. She knew American culture sanctioned just about anything that made a person feel good, but she hadn’t been raised that way.

“I can see I’ve disappointed you.”

Wanting to allay his fears, she scrambled for something to say, something to soothe that wrought expression darkening his blue eyes. But she couldn’t.

Who was she fooling anyway? When Colton found out who she really was, how would he react? Probably with the same shock and loss she felt right now. And her father would never approve of Colton, not with his past, no matter how much he’d changed. His recklessness in his youth would disqualify him immediately.

That he’d never married the mother of his daughter frightened her. In essence, he’d abandoned McKenna’s mom.

Bazak and her father abandoned her. True, there were legitimate reasons, but … she was alone all the same. On her own. Her heart hung heavy and aching.

The waiter removed Colton’s half-eaten steak and her potato, asked about dessert, but Colton handed him a credit card and waved him off.

Arms folded, he leaned forward. “Since we’re putting all the cards on the table …”

Her aching heart trounced in her chest. What did he know? No, there was no way he knew the truth about her. She wasn’t sure how much truthfulness she could handle in one night.

“When I mentioned being in the military the other night, you reacted.”

“Did I?”

“Is that a problem for you, the military?”

“A problem?” It’d killed her brother, alienated her sister, and stolen her father. Why was he asking about something like that? He wasn’t in the military now. She tried to remember what he’d said about being a Marine. He was out, wasn’t he?

“Does it bug ya?”

“No.” It seemed to be the answer he wanted. “I’m fine.”

He smirked with a half chuckle, then scratched his chin as he pushed back against his chair. “See, that’s part of the problem.”

“What?”

“My military training involves reconnaissance.” Colton’s eyes bore into her, piercing her deeply held secrets. “I can tell right now you don’t believe what you just said. You’re holding something back, and I have a feeling it’s right important to you.”